Genre: Romance

Title
Given the blurb, I know how the title fits with the story, but opening it, anyone could easily think that it was a science fiction from the "astro-" suffix! However, with the blurb, it works, and frankly, I like it. The word is unique. No points given or taken, though.

Cover
Your cover is beyond enjoyable! I love the image of the girl, and the cartoon constellations in the background. The title and author's name are easy to read and are centered. All very good things. The only issue I have with it (and its minor) is that with the way that the title is placed, "Astrolater" could easily be mistaken as "Astro Later." You see the problem? Of course, it's not much of a problem because the readers can obviously tell that the title is the joint word from the title above the blurb. Nevertheless, just because I love the whole look so much, +1 point for you.

Did you make it? It looks very nice.

Blurb
Your blurb is indeed captivating, if vague. Your blurb should convey what's different about your story that why people should read it in a creative, subtle way. You certainly captivate me with your poetic words, but what makes your story different from any other romance story? Unless it's cliché. Then by all means use the artistry to captivate the readers. No points given or taken because I don't really know what your story is about at all. A couple? A struggling couple? Something about stars? The pretty language is really quite beautiful, though. I am excited to read it.

*Since this story comes in 6 total parts, I'll be dividing the review into two parts: one for Chapters 1-3 and one for Chapters 4-6. I'll write thoughts down as I go and comment minor changes that don't deserve to be placed here. *

But first, the foreword.

Foreword
Your foreword, to me, is a bit eccentric. Why did you put a longer summary in there if there's a separate, given space for a summary (blurb)? The readers have already opened your book to read it; they've already seen your first summary. I'm not sure if they'd want to read a second one. As for the cast...I don't usually support casts or use them. Why list their appearance instead of describing it? Even if they do have an amazing resemblance to some celebrity, I'd rather put that into the writing than list it in a cast. However, no points given or taken because I don't know who the cast members are and because you mention that the readers can imagine them differently (which I'm sure I will). Your warning seems unnecessary and obvious to me. Of course there will be cliché elements—it's a romance! Of course there will be mistakes; every story has them. Why wouldn't the reader empathize with the characters? And why would we expect anything other than heartbreak? Foul language is always almost a given, but that's the only one where I'm glad that you mentioned it. No points given or taken. Also, the first paragraph of your personal note seems a little pointless, aside from the editing section. You already mentioned those other things in the warning right above it. The rest of the foreword is a bit wordy, but that's okay. No points given or taken. :)

Chapters 1-3
You don't need to title the chapter within the chapter. It's already titled in the separate text box (plus, they contradict each other. The one in the heading is labeled "Chapter 0.5 and the one in the text is labeled as "Chapter 1."). No points given or taken for the minor inconsistency, though.

Just a rule for the future, when you connect two independent clauses in one sentence, not only do you have to separate the clauses by commas, but you have to add a coordinating conjunction (and, but, or, etc.). No points given or taken for this minor issue.

Something that you keep doing is switching tenses. I can't tell which tense you mean to write in ("says" is in present tense, whereas "said" is in past tense; "switches" is in present tense whereas "switched" is in past tense). This won't count against you.

Now that I realize that you're trying to write in present tense, you still sometimes misuse words with the wrong tense (you should try to keep your whole story in the same tense; you shouldn't randomly change it). No points given or take—just something to work on in the future.

+1 Point for clever wordplay! The title of Chapter 1 is smart (yes, I caught it!). I applaud you! That was great fun to read. :)

Why would Atlas tell Faye to ask him what she really wanted to ask if he didn't want to tell her about his affair? I don't know if I buy it. Maybe it was just his drunkenness, though. :)

You don't need to say that the metaphor of words of betrayal carved into Atlas' forehead wasn't literally. The readers should know that. Perhaps you could add the word "clearly" or "obviously" to convey a sense of sarcasm.

You have a way of painting emotions, a very artistic way. It's very nice to read. However, I find this to be an extreme case of what's called "purple prose." Purple prose occurs when what is written is very pleasing to read, but doesn't contain anything that progresses the story. I think that "Astrolater" has extensive amounts of purple prose. Readers who are reading for fun probably won't think anything of it because it sounds pretty in their heads (I've heard someone describe purple prose as "pretty nothings"), but to the critical eye, purple prose is a bit pointless. You see? Too much purple prose, and there's no story. Too many "pretty nothings" make it a bit boring to read. Understand that this issue extends your story, but using it for that purpose isn't good. I'm guilty of purple prose, so I understand that it's hard to discern between pretty nothings and descriptive writing. However, because so much has made me lose a bit of my interest, I'm going to have to take a point off. Sorry, but you're breaking even.

I have to say that your use of words is much improved when you switch to past tense (which is incorrect in itself, but that was already mentioned). Perhaps you could consider rewriting it in past tense (this would be a long-term suggestion for in the far future). But then you switch back to present tense and the errors continue! Maybe you were trying something new. I did that with my mates book, Trident, so it's understandable. No points given or taken.

I enjoyed Chapter 2's dialogue. Very realistic and mature of them to talk it out. +1 for realistic dialogue!

I love the description of their kiss. There are many paradoxes that are made clear, and I like that. It's not just a kiss of a sudden fiery passion. It's full of pain, of the two wanting to be together but uncertain of the betrayal and conflicts they've had. That much I got from your words, and that's a very good thing. +1 point for conveying real emotions with the reader, making it easier to empathize with the characters.

Ah, finally I see why your story is called "Astrolater!" Also, interested about Faye lying about what made her choke...I'm extremely intrigued. :)

Chapters 4-6
The whole discussion the couple has in the restaurant is very realistic. Good job on mediating their conflict correctly through their dialogue. Faye's opinions often catch me by surprise—she is a wise one. +1 point for realistic conflict and attempts to resolve.  Two points now (the scene with the glass roof with the stars was pretty cool, too, I must admit). :)

Loved the chapter with Atlas missing Faye. Super cool to compare the differences. +1 point for bringing out emotion and for "wowing" me. ;) Three points now! I have a feeling that the end of your story might redeem itself...?

When you write specific thoughts, italicize them instead of putting them in apostrophes. No points given or taken for this minor issue.

The end of what you have was pretty satisfactory. I'm glad you didn't leave me a cliffhanger (although there's still a lot to be solved)!

So, in total, Rosy-Stars got three points. Great job! Your plot is good, if slow. I suppose that's what a romance drama is all about. ;) You have a great platform for style, and you have very nice artistry. What I would work on is that purple prose and tense issues. These problems occurred throughout the whole work. It didn't take away from the reading experience, but the errors are definitely there. Nice work!