Title
The title was made by me—a little fun fact about this story for those of you who haven't heard of it or know the story, so I can't judge it.

Cover
Well, I can't really give or taken away points for a cover also made by me, even if it's one of my favorite pictures. :)

However, readers, if you like the cover you see and want one like it and the covers displayed on my own works on my profile, simply open up the Cover Shop next door and receive a pre-made or request a custom one just for your story!

Sorry for the little ad; I know I repeat it a lot. ;)

Blurb
I like your blurb. It's very intriguing and I like that you wrote it in the main character's point of view, even though it doesn't give me very much information. +1 point for the original idea, though.

*since your story comes in two parts, I'll be reviewing each part separately*

Part 1, Them
I like the the way that this story feels. That sounds kind of weird, but I like that it feels almost medieval even though it's far in the future. It's a refreshing change from the technologically advanced yet morally regressed society. I like it! +1 point for creativity! Your total is two.

That being said, you have some grammar issues with run-on sentences. Sometimes you need to use em-dashes, while other times you need to have two sentences instead of one. Even the chapter titles should have em-dashes (Part 1—Them). You get the idea.

Another thing is that this part gives so much context that it takes away from the plot advancing in a timely way as to keep the readers interested. You spend a lot of time talking about the past and what happened, and because of that, the plot inches slowly forward. Two little things happened in this chapter: the main character gets up and goes outside to go hunt. Does that sound exciting to you? I realize that you're trying to set up the first chapter so that the readers know what's going on, but something vital that first chapters do are that they hook readers. They're supposed to make the readers stick with your book and read it longer. I don't know if I would because there was virtually no plot. Wonderful context, yes, but the plot is what we're more concerned about because it's what the readers will see the most. Something interesting along that trail of thought is that I've noticed that your second part is longer than your first part. Take a moment to ask yourself, why is this?

Part 2, Arrow Heads
If your title is not some hilarious and genius pun, then "arrowheads" is actually the word to use. If it's a pun, then great!

Again, the issues of run-on sentences are prevalent. Another grammar issue is with your dialogue. Every time a new character speaks, you should create a new paragraph. Now, I'll demonstrate.

"Demonstrate what?"

"That every time a new character speaks, a new paragraph is made." I reply to the imaginary character, taking off a point for accumulating grammatical errors. One is your total.

Something that you fail to do in this chapter is set up the scene to the scene. What I mean by that is that you go straight into the father scene without giving us any tangible context. Us readers aren't given a clear picture of the setting and what was going on before the scene already there. Yes, we know that the group is in the woods and that they're hunting, but some important elements aren't there, like who each person in the group is. We also don't know anything about the caste system in the world they live in. Now, when adding this in, you must be careful about over-saturating chapters with information. The readers won't be able to keep track of the information you give if you give too much. Even now I can barely remember what you gave me in the first part, other than the fact that the land the main character is on used to be Europe. Choose your information wisely. Give us what's necessary to understand what's necessary.

I think that you should experiment with using some colorful language. You know how to use your words. Now, paint with them. Make your story an elegant art form. Don't just tell us that his eyes sparked; tell us that you could see stars in them, swirling with every color. Do you see how much more exciting you can make your writing? When doing this, be careful of purple prose. Make sure that in the midst of giving us this information, you still advance the plot. The story has to keep moving to keep the readers engaged; not in adding information, but in adding events and actions. Conflict. Emotion. The raw things that you add really bring your writing to life. Because of those paragraphs of consistent issues, I'm going to take another point off.

Overall, Athena_Lily828 got zero points! It's mostly because of grammar and plot development. Make sure you're giving us what we need, and hold back information you think we could live without for a while (or even information that we'd like to know but isn't necessary for the reader to know to understand the plot—it'll keep us interested!). Make sure you use your language in a way that advances the plot and gives the readers a clear picture of setting, emotion, and characters at the same time.

I love your idea, and I'm excited to see what you can accomplish with your review and your cover! I'll definitely keep it in my library. :)