Author: dreamboat462

Reviewer: the-positive-vibe

1.      Cover: 04/10

2.      Title: 09/10

3.      Description: 08/10

The first impressions:

a)      The cover you’ve chosen doesn’t go right by your story. Replacing it is highly recommended.

b)     The description is a big YES!! Though I usually prefer a bit longer ones, I would say this one has in it to capture the readers.

c)      The title is something I’m a bit conflicted about. Yes, Molly is ‘Caught in between’ her past and her present when Henry comes back. But still, I just have this feeling that it could use some better words.

4.      Creativity: 08/10

5.      Plot: 09/15 --- You’ve got one nice storyline with you, but it needs some improvements. Some scenes are vague, and the time lapses are kinda confusing at places. You need to do some major edits with those, or it can be quite distracting for any reader to contemplate the flow.

Also, Henry’s amnesia needs to be put light upon, we have no idea if he’s pretending, or is just unaware. Don’t just disclose everything, but give subtle hints to keep the readers guessing. This is like a big black hole that needs some attention from the author. He is an important character and the one who has been put on the back burner for the time being. Bring him to the front!!!

6.      Grammar: 09/15 --- As stated above, you need to work on the presentation of your storyline. There are so many errors with sentence formation and structure. Know that a good plot needs a good grammatical structure to push through the charts.

7.      Character: 07/10 --- The number of characters is okay, but you need to add more to them. More than just their eye and hair color. Example: Henry is an important character here, but his personality and physique is a huge mystery to me. The same is the case with others. Therefore, bring them to life. Let them be more than just blurry visions in my head.

8.      Communication: 04/05 --- There is not much to communicate about. There are no comments, and author notes. Comments are beyond your control, but you can always add a small Author’s Note – you can just ask them to vote.

9.      Overall Impression: 11/15

You’ve done a good job in laying down the plot of your story. I am really intrigued by what is gonna happen next. Also, what happened which made their mothers go down the path they did. However, you need to work on some basics of writing. Retouch them!

It is indeed a captivating plot, and I sure am looking forward to more updates.

TOTAL: 69/100