17 | An Apology

The air inside the belltower was chillier than the actual breezes blowing through its arched windows. Eliott clasped his hands, tamping down the urge to scratch at his skin until it burned and bled. Beside him, Belle sat on the sill, her legs dangling over the vast nothingness brought about by the tower's height. Her wings, still brilliant and amazing as ever, splayed out from her back in a relaxed manner.

"I'm...sorry," Eliott started after too long of a silence between them. They had been here for about half an hour and neither had found the courage to speak yet. "For bringing you to the city. For disappearing for a month. For...well, having to do this with you here, of all places."

Belle didn't speak. She didn't even bother tucking the wild strands of hair whipping to and fro her face with every prod of the wind. What fault should he be aware of and apologize for? Surely, he got everything already?

"I know it's a stupid excuse, but I was actually under preventive custody for the past month," Eliott continued, edging away from Belle even though his elbows were propped on the sill behind him. "I couldn't leave the palace because they watched me. At all times."

He sighed. "And I know this whole thing is my fault. I forced you to agree to my ill-guided plan. I didn't think of the repercussions, the worst-case scenarios. I didn't think of your safety," he hung his head, letting his hair cover most of his eyes. "Whatever happened back then, whatever emotion you felt and trauma you experienced, it's all on me. Blame me, if you have to. Just please..."

He bit his lip, swallowing his next words before they could cause more damage. What was he going to say, anyway? That he didn't want Belle to go? That he would want them to continue their friendship? Wasn't that the same thing he did to her when he convinced her to go to the city? She believed him because of his words but his actions failed to catch up. Was he manipulating her into staying because he wouldn't know what to do without her in his pathetic life?

Linus had a point. Maybe Eliott really needed to think before running his mouth and doing things he would regret later on. He had too much heart but never enough brains. Somehow, that's worse.

"Why didn't you tell me?" came Belle's silent question.

Eliott's head snapped up, his eyes locking with hers. "About what?"

"You being the Crown Prince," Belle answered. She drew one leg up, planting her heel on the sill. Her arms wrapped around her knee. If there was anything Eliott admired right now, it was her confidence that she wouldn't fall or lose her balance. Then again, she had wings so she's free to do whatever she wanted. "I never understood it until now. What's going on in your head when you decided to never tell me until you had to?"

He ran his tongue over his teeth. Yeah, why hadn't he told her? Oh, right. "I was ashamed," he said with a heavy sigh. He had been doing a lot of that recently. "I condone the fact that I'm a member of the je Clair family, the one who had ruled the empire for so long and who once had never lifted a finger to help your kind. We have encouraged our people to hurt yours. The blood on their hands is also on mine."

He gave Belle a sad smile. "How can I face you then?"

Belle closed her head and rested her chin on her knee. Another breeze blew into the room, thawing the thick glacier between them, even just a little. "Have you killed fae?" She regarded him by replacing her chin with her cheek but holding the same sitting stance. "Have you raised your hand against one? Thought about killing them with spears, arrows, or swords? Have you?"

Eliott searched her eyes for the answer to her own question. He found none. She was genuinely asking him, wanting to know the answer from him and him alone. "No," he said. "No, I have not."

"Then, I won't hold the sins of man against you," Belle said, repeating the same thing she told him before, back when she knew of him as a random human and not the one who's supposed to take the throne next. "You should stop doing that to yourself too."

How freeing would that be? If he could delude himself into thinking he wasn't directly the one at fault. He was a descendant of a line that used fae for their own benefit. Eliott lived because a lot of Belle's kin, maybe even her own ancestors or her immediate family, hadn't been able to. He benefited from the wrong and continued to until now. How was he supposed to come to terms with that?

Eliott chuckled. It was anything but full of humor. "Is that the only thing you're angry about with the whole thing?" he said. "Not because I led you to be disrespected like that? Not because I disappeared for a month without a word? Not because I have to issue a public apology denouncing the fae?"

Belle reached up and tucked her hair behind her pointy ear. Relief washed over Eliott's gut. He had been itching to do just that since forever. It's good she did it on her own. Now, he could see her face clearly. "Angry is a strong word for it, really," she said. "Yes, I was disappointed and afraid, but I wasn't angry. You did it because you had reasons. I just didn't understand them then. Thank you for explaining them to me now."

Eliott straightened, removing his weight against the tower's sill. Now, he stood a small distance from her, gazing down at her delicate brown skin. No matter how scarred, it was still a warm shade, like it would never dull at all.

"You didn't force me to go to the city. I chose to go," Belle continued. "And I'm glad I did. Otherwise, I would never get to taste Hopper's delicious pastries. I still have dreams about them until now."

His jaw parted ever so slightly. Here he was, thinking Belle wouldn't want to have anything to do with him after what happened. What's...going on now?

She pushed on. "As for the screaming people and tomatoes developing trajectories," she said, earning Eliott's attention back to her eyes once more. They were always the brightest shade of green. Almost like emeralds. "It wasn't your fault either. Things happen. It's one of those things. Those we have no control over. I have to thank you, even."

Eliott frowned. "For what?"

"For saving me," Belle replied. "For thinking revealing who you are to the people was going to be enough to save me. Thank you for not thinking of the consequences and for being a little selfish for my sake. How could I ever be angry when you did all that?"

Tears pricked at the corner of Eliott's eyes. He hastily wiped them with the back of his hand.

"As for a month without a word, that's not quite true," Belle said. It seemed like she wasn't done. "I'm sure you have told me something at some point during that month. Don't you remember?"

Eliott racked his mind for that possibility. Had he sent a letter?

Belle reached inside her collar and drew out a thin chain. Eliott's heart skipped a beat. The symbol of the sun dangled from it. Gold had never sparkled that brightly on someone's skin before.

"You kept it," Eliott muttered, more as a sigh of relief to himself than to Belle.

She hummed. Her hand never strayed from the hem of her collar. "Which is amazingly strange because you're not the first who sent me something through larks," she said.

Fear arose in Eliott's chest. Did Belle meet another man? Or had she known someone before him? Was he too late?

"He gave me this," Belle drew out another chain. This time, a small, white pebble filtered into view. Next to that, strung with the same string, was a small crest. The cast over the metal had ebbed off years ago and, judging from the dents and chips on it, it was quite old.

To Eliott, it was familiar. Utterly familiar.

No way...

She laughed to herself, twining the chain around her finger with such a tender gaze. "It'd say it's a trip to memory lane when I received your gift. I was so shocked, I—" she paused when she saw his face. "Are you alright?"

Eliott wasn't. Not the slightest bit. He felt like the floor was shifting under his feet. His head spun. His gut squeezed and stretched. He wanted to burst into more tears, wanted to feel the crashing relief washing over him. His limbs itched to dance, to throw all rationality away and just rejoice. The urge to lunge at her and crush her in an embrace had never been stronger.

Because here she was. After all these years, she found him. And he found her.

However, despite all the turmoil ripping through his mind and his heart, he just blurted, "Edge."

Just the sound of her name sliding from his tongue brought forth the memory of that day. The mistlark. The magic. The girl with the reddest hair in the forest.

This time, tears really did stream from his eyes.

Belle, no, Edge, covered her mouth. Shock and realization flickered in her face. "You're Eliott?" she breathed. She braced her forehead, her legs now dangling into the open once more. "I thought it's just a namesake. I...oh, gods. You're Eliott?"

Eliott let out a laugh. It came out gurgly and not at all princely. He dared step closer. The icy wall had now been replaced with an arid wind from the desert. "I'm Eliott. Family name, je Clair," he sniffed and swiped his sleeves against his eyes. "And I know a lot about birds."

Edge burst into tears, so much that she had to catch her face into her hands just to muffle her sobs. "Y-you have no idea," she wailed into her hands. "Those things you sent. The birds. They kept me going. They saved me. I—"

The rest of her words were lost into blubbers and sniffs. Eliott felt like doing the same thing but that'd just be counterproductive. He needed the both of them to calm down even though that's the exact opposite of what they wanted to do right now.

So, he swallowed the lump of fear in his throat and hefted himself on the sill. Debris hissed as they fell free from the crumbly rock and dropped without sound to the ground. He closed his eyes and blew a breath. He wouldn't fall. And even if he did, even if he was already falling, at least he did it for her. He took the leap for her and only for her.

"Hey," Eliott reached out and grasped Edge's wrists. Slowly, he wrenched her hands away from her face. The next thing he knew, he had cupped her face and running his thumbs against the current of her tears. "It's alright. I'm here. You're here."

Edge sniffed but leaned against his touch. "We're both here," she said. "Against all odds."

Those three words hammered inside Eliott's heart and imprinted in his brain. Against all odds. They found each other and were found by each other.

Against all odds.

"How lucky have we been, Edge?" Eliott asked, his voice no more than a whisper. The distance between them was no more than a few inches. "To have ended up in this moment, having gone through all that we did?"

She answered by pressing her forehead against his. When she spoke, only small traces of tears could be heard from her voice. "More than lucky," she answered. Her breath tickled his lips, sparking a flame inside him. "We've been more than lucky, Eliott."

Eliott drew one of his hands back to tuck Edge's hair behind her ear. His fingers brushed her pointed lobes. He had never found fae ears revolting. He wasn't going to start now. "Can...can I?" he asked, staring deep into her gem-like eyes. "Kiss you, I mean?"

Edge laughed. Before he could do anything, she snaked her arms around his neck. Then, she claimed his lips with hers. Or...she could kiss him. Like that. As Eliott drowned in the softness of her mouth and the warmth he had never felt before wrapping around them, he figured it wasn't an issue.

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