The morning after his meeting with Sirius, Harry made his way to the library to meet with Parkinson. Of course, he was going to keep his word to Malfoy and stop toying with her, but he knew he wouldn't feel at peace until he told her the truth.

Pansy was deeply immersed in a book called Wuthering Heights when Harry approached her table, and gave a start when he sat down in the chair across her.

"Hey, Harry!" she said, smiling despite being shaken. Harry's sullen face must have been extremely prominent, as her smile wiped off after a few moments. "Something wrong?"

Nodding, he swallowed nervously. "Look, Pansy, I really forgave you and all after all that happened with Draco. Like, I never blamed you. Never. Ever. But..."

"You're still mad at me, aren't you?" she asked, her voice low and sad. Harry shook his head vehemently.

"No, I'm not mad at all anymore. But, I, uh, I haven't been completely honest with you," he confessed. Eyes narrowing, the shorter girl raised an eyebrow.

"Oh?" Pansy's tone turned dangerous. "How so?"

Harry could feel his vision swaying, nausea building in his stomach. Nothing felt real. He felt high, except without the good feeling.

"I never actually wanted to be your friend. I was using you to get more information out of you."

There was a deadly silence. Harry had his eyes squeezed shut before and had his hands tightly clenching the table, waiting for a hand to slap him hard enough to leave a mark and-

"I'm not going to hit you, Harry," Pansy said in a small voice. "Open your eyes."

"No," Harry whispered, heart beating erratically. He was scared.

"Open them. Now!"

Tentatively, he did, and he sobbed at the sight before him. Pansy Parkinson, makeup running down along with the tears on her cheeks. Despite all that, there was a bright smile on her face.

"It's alright, Harry," she said, hiccoughing. "I deserved it."

"No! You didn't deserve it!" Harry said, anguished. Shaking her head, Pansy continued to cry.

"I did. I got your heart broken and now mine has been too," she reasoned brokenly. "This is exactly what I deserved-"

"No, Pansy. This was my fault and mine alone."

Harry flinched violently at the sound of Draco Malfoy's voice and turned to see him approaching their table.

"Malfoy, I-"

"Later, Potter," Malfoy said calmly, helping his best friend out her chair, not batting an eye when she clung to him while sniffling. "I'm going to have a little talk with Pansy."

"That's probably best," Harry said honestly, watching after the two as they left the library, guilt making him nauseous. Tears sprung to his eyes as Pansy's broken expression replayed endlessly in his mind.

He sat in that chair for God knew how long, resting his head against the cold wood until his cheek went numb and his eyes slid shut...

"Boy! This is not your dorm! If you're that bored of the endless collection of historical information in our library, maybe you should leave!"

Harry's head jerked off the smooth table surface and looked up at the stern lady with red-rimmed, puffy eyes and a dazed expression. "Sorry?"

"Leave!" she said, picking up a book and bonking him on the head with it. That seemed to wake Harry up as he seemed to take in his surroundings. How long had it been...?

Chair scraping as he quickly stood, Harry made a quick exit before Madame Pince decided he needed another hit on the head to help him process what was happening.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he made it out the enourmous room, resting his back against the wall to catch his breath.

"Harry!" the raven-haired boy heard someone call his name and his head jerked. Neville Longbottom with his girlfriend, Luna Lovegood.

"Hey, Nev," Harry said with fake cheer, wiping his eyes subtly.

Not subtle enough. "You alright, Harry? You don't look so good."

"I'm fine, Neville," Harry reassured, waving him off, but Luna narrowed her eyes.

"You're surrounded by Wrackspurts, Harry," she noted. "Anything causing you distress?"

"Wrack- sorry, what?" asked the confused boy, torn between laughing and getting irritated.

"Wrackspurts," Luna repeated calmly. "They're little insects that feast on unhappiness."

"Insects?" Harry raised an eyebrow. "Where? Are they on me?"

"Mhm!" Luna nodded "They're all over your head! Wow, Harry, this must be why you have glasses, they're everywhere and you can't see-"

"Luna!" Neville scolded gently. "We talked about this, no one can see the Wrackspurts or Nargles except you!"

"Nargles?" Harry repeated. He shook his head. "Nevermind. I'm going to get going Neville, I have something I need to do. I'll catch you later." He needed a nice long nap in his dorm.

With a little wave, Harry left them both behind as he walked around the corridor, huffing in exasperation when he bumped into someone else. He was knocked to the floor and seethed in fury.

Exactly what I needed...

"Sorry, what was that, Potter?"

He said it out loud? Oh well, it was only honesty.

Harry looked up and was surprised to see Draco Malfoy standing above him, eyes narrowed.

"Oh, Malfoy," Harry said dumbly. "Uh, nothing."

"Right," Draco said, rolling his eyes, but nevertheless offering his hand to Harry. The younger boy ignored it and heaved himself off the ground, making to walk past Malfoy but was stopped by a hand around his slim wrist. Harry tugged on it, but Malfoy had no intention of letting go, apparently.

"What?" Harry asked, growling.

Suddenly, he was pulled close to Draco, the hand on his wrist lessening slightly. Their chests were conjoined, and Harry could feel the taller boy's steady heartbeat.

"You made my best friend cry," reminded Malfoy. Harry gulped in anticipation, all resolve to pull himself free from the blond's grasp dissipating as a hand gripped his waist lightly. "You think I'll let that go?"

"I didn't- I didn't mean to-"

The arms around him disappeared, and Harry mourned the loss silently as Malfoy took a step back.

"Whatever, Potter," Malfoy said. "The worst is over. Don't- don't worry about it too much, Pansy knows you didn't mean to hurt her."

"Ah," Harry said, a little surprised. "Really?"

Draco nodded. "Just... stay away from her for now, please. She's not ready to see you."

Biting his lip, Harry nodded, regret pooling in his stomach once again as he thought of the blooming friendship he had wasted for his own selfish needs.

"It wasn't your fault, Harry," Malfoy said once again. "It's only mine."

"No," Harry disagreed. "I made my own decisions, just like you did. In the end, we both made fucked up choices and there's nothing we can do besides learn from it. And I know it'll take me a while to trust you like I did before, Malfoy, but I think, maybe, maybe I understand your situation enough to forgive you."

"You mean that?" Malfoy's face lit up. When Harry nodded, he made a motion like he was about to hug Harry. "Ah, sorry. I should ask first. Can I hug you, Harry?"

Delighted that the taller boy had asked for permission to touch him this time, the shorter nodded, not even waiting for Malfoy before wrapping his arms around his middle.

It was a little awkward, it was a little tense. Malfoy tried to ignore Harry's body going tense in his arms, but he knew it was his own fault that their relationship had deteriorated. When the two pulled away from each other, Malfoy looked deep into Harry's eyes.

"I'll help you take down the organisation," he decided. "I'll help you do that, and I'll help you avenge your parents too. And then we will free my mother."

"Right," Harry said, determinedly. "We'll do it together."

***

vote and commenttt!!!

little note:

helloo!! so... i wasn't very keen on writing, i've been having a bit of an episode of god knows what for a couple of days and i feel like dying.

BUT!!! a friend told me that writing might actually help me, and i should fight against my lazy urges telling me to succumb to my sadness and drown in bedsheets. soo.....

here it is! vote and comment <3 sorry for taking so long. also, if you realise what SHIT grammar and spelling there is, then that is because i have gotten very little sleep and am deprived of sleep. pls understand the struggles of writing while your eyelids try shutting down on you