Chapter 12 - Snowy Day-Off
Here's the next part, enjoy!
It's been about a good few months since the Spring fiasco with Verosika. Currently... It was a hot day in Hell... Hotter than normal... Usually, the temperature was at a basic 939.15-kelvin, 1230.8 Fahrenheit, or 666 Celcius degrees. But right now? It was 5,778-kelvin, 9940.73 Fahrenheit, or 5504.85 Celcius... The same temperature as the surface of the sun...
Alastor: (On the radio, fans blowing in the background) Watch out, Imp City because with Christmas coming up, we're looking at the hottest day in Hell! Lucifer is furious about the up-and-coming holiday and he is making sure everyone suffers for it!
A hell squirrel runs out into the sunlight and erupts into flames. In the I.M.P. office, the wallpaper curls and peels off by itself, and water in the fish tank starts to boil due to the heat. In the kitchen, the employees were doing their best to survive the heat, having stripped down to their undergarments. Moxxie, Blitzo, and Linc were in their boxer shorts, and Millie, Loona, and Mayberry were in their swimwear. not enjoying the heat. Even Void and Noir were effective by the heat, having trapped themselves in the freezer. Especially Loona and Linc, given their fur.
Loona: Uuuuuuuggghhhh, I wanna tear my skin off right now...
Blitzo: Power through Looney... Power... Through... Fucking shit! It is hot...!
Millie: Void. You gotta a spell that can cool us down?
Void makes a grunting sound from within the freezer.
Millie/Loona/Blitzo: Damn!/Shit!/Fuck!
Ms. Mayberry: You understood that?
Millie: We can't understand what words he's saying but we can get the meaning pretty well.
Blitzo: Comes with hearing him so much.
Linc: All in favor of doing nothing all day say "ugh."
The I.M.P. employees all groan in unison. Moxxie rolls over to try and cool his other side, peeling his sweaty, his foot hitting Blitzo's horns.
Blitzo: Ugh! Mox! I'm gonna throw you out of this office!
Moxxie then smacks Blizo with his tail.
Blitzo: You called my bluff, Mox.
Alastor: (on the radio) With heat like this, I have a burning wish for winter, pun very much intended!
Moxxie: Winter... Winter... Winter... (has an idea) Winter! It's winter in the human world
Moxxie peeled his sweaty stomach off the tile floor.
Moxxie: Let's go to the human world! Maybe to one of the snow-filled areas!
Blitzo: Mox! That's a great idea! I'm gonna open a window so our- CUNTS NEXT DOOR!!! Can suffer.
Verosika: (from the other office) SHUT THE FUCK UP BLITZ-O!!!
Blitzo tries to get up but the skin of his back was stuck to the floor.
Blitzo: Little help?
Millie took out a spatula and stuck it underneath Blitzo, then after a bit of struggling, Blitzo was peeled off the floor, along with some of the wooden tiles.
Blitzo: Alright! Be right back!
Blitzo stepped outside of the office building and opened the window to flash the demons below.
Alastor: (on the radio) Also be on the lookout for random Hellfires! Remember folks, regular fire may not hurt, but hellfire will burn your very soul, you won't die but you will be in terrible pain! Trust me, I've tested this before!
Blitzo: (outside) Wait, what?
The sounds of a fiery explosion came from outside.
Blitzo: AAAAHHH!! MY SHORTS!!
Someone On The Streets: AAAAHHH!! MY EYES!!!
*****
About five minutes later, Blitzo came back in with a rug around his waist, following him were Stolas and Octavia, the latter of who was covering her eyes.
Blitzo: How the here was I supposed to know you were outside!? You didn't exactly call!
Stolas: Yes but why were you in shorts to begin with?
Blitzo: It's hot as balls!
Moxxie threw a pair of pants at Blitzo, who stepped into his office to change. Loona looked up to see and could tell what happened.
Loona: Oh satan you say his dick didn't you?
Octavia: (still covering her eyes) Yes, and I wish to have my eyeballs ripped out and dropped into the sun, please!
Stolas: Oh come now, it wasn't that bad of a view.
Octavia: (turns to Stolas) Dad, am I facing you?
Stolas: Yes?
Octavia then kicked Stolas in the shin.
Stolas: Ow! Tia!
Octavia: Never say that to me again.
Stolas: (rubbing his shin) Understood...
Blitzo: (from the other room, with pants on) So why are you here?
Stolas: I came here to get my book, every time Lucifer turns up Hell's heat, I take my little Via to a little log cabin I own in the living world until Lucifer calms down.
Blitzo: Well, shit, we were about to just pop into the living world for the same reasons.
Stolas: Excellent! (to Octavia) Via, would you like to play with your friends at the cabin?
Octavia: Dad! I'm a teen... (blushes from embarrassment) But... Yes...
Void let a series of grumbles.
Linc: Void wants to know how he is going to go since he can't leave through the portal.
Stolas looks at Blitzo with a questioning glance.
Blitzo: For some reason or another, Void can't go through the portals.
Octavia: Noir can hold things right?
Moxxie: Yes?
Octavia: Can't you just put Void in Noir?
Moxxie raised a hand with one finger extended, but he didn't have the answer. Noir grabbed Void, who growled in response and shoved him into his pages. Void could still be heard
Blitzo: Well, that worked. Now to see if it works
Stolas: No need for the book. Weghmb he lmghr!
A violet portal then opened in the office, revealing a snow-covered landscape.
The heat coming from the portal melted the snow around the portal, even turning the water into steam, and the bushes and trees didn't even burn up, they just turned to ash immediately or died on the spot. Stepping through, then shutting the portal, the demons were met with a rush of cold and snow.
Blitzo: Aaaaaahhhh... That's good... I might just strip here and let my balls.
Octavia and Moxxie then took a branch and smacked Blitzo in the back of the head.
Octavia: Good reflexes, old man.
Moxxie: I am a trained assassin, you know.
Octavia: Really? I always thought it was being a clown given how you act.
Loona: HA!!!
Noir began twitching and jerking every which direction, then Void burst from his pages. Void let out a boisterous laugh as he floated around the air of Earth.
Octavia: He seems happy.
Noir: He could've left a bit more gently... That hurt...
Void flew off and the sounds of destruction were followed by the sounds of laughter.
Moxxie: Shouldn't we go after him?
Stolas: No worries, there's nothing here for miles. Minus my cabin.
Linc: If that's the case, he'll get bored and come back on his own. As long as I'm here, he'll know where I am.
Ms. Mayberry: Are you sure it'll be okay for me to be out here?
Stolas: So long as you have my permission, you can leave Hell whenever you feel like it.
Ms. Mayberry: Well, I'll be sure to call beforehand.
Stolas: Come along now. The cabin is this way.
As they were leaving, Moxxie looked back at the dead land that came from Hell's current immense heat.
Moxxie: Sure hope that doesn't cause a problem...
Loona: Hey fatass! Get the lead out of your pants, your heavy enough as is!
Moxxie: Shut it, you hot-topic bulldog!
*****
The group followed Stolas and Octavia through the forest, as they continued their bodies cooled down but they began to feel how cold it was now.
Blitzo: Sweet fuck it got too cold fast!
Loona: Well, it is winter.
Octavia: And we are in Alaska.
Moxxie: We're in Alaska?
Millie: Couldn't tell from how heavy this snow is fallow
Stolas: Not to worry. Srmjvl sbehrli!
In an instant, the group was all changed into more winter-appropriate attire, all with matching scarves.
Ms. Mayberry: How cute.
Linc: That's a useful spell.
Stolas: Not we should be approaching the cabin shortly.
The group ended up stopping at a thick cloud of snowy mist. Stolas waved his hand and the mist parted to reveal a log manor that was almost as big as Stolas' home in Hell.
Blitzo: Cabin my ass! That is a mansion!
Stolas: Language.
Noir then floated ahead of the others.
Noir: If you'll pardon me, I'll prep a meal for everyone.
Moxxie then looked at the snow-covered ground and then at Loona, who was texting away on her phone. Loona was commenting on a post on her social media app.
Loona: That has to be the stupidest imp I've ever seen, L O- (snowball hits her) GAK!!!
Loona was then cut off by a snowball hitting her in the back of the head. After catching herself from falling over, Loona spun around and saw Moxxie, a big toothy smile on his face and whistling casually. Loona growled, teeth barred.
Loona: You fat ass son of a bitch!
Loona quickly made of snowball and threw it at Moxxie, who took it in the shoulder, Moxxie then made two snowballs and threw them at Loona at the same time. The hellhound teen blocked one but the other hit her in the gut. Loona got to her feet and looked at Moxxie coldly. She then grabbed a handful of snow, made two balls, and threw it directly at his face. Moxxie had one ball of snow hit his right cheek and another hit his left cheek. The two continued to throw snowballs at each other while the others stepped onto the porch.
Linc: Should we stop them?
Millie: Naah, they'll end it on their own.
Then Noir floated into the log manor, opening the sliding glass door.
Noir: Everyone, I've made some beef pot pie if you want any.
Millie: Oh you two have got to try Noir's beef pot pie! It's amazing!
Ms. Mayberry: Best pot pie I've had in both life and death.
Linc: I guess I'll make some iced chocolate.
Stolas: Iced chocolate?
Linc: It's the cold version of warm chocolate.
Octavia: I'll show you to the pantry... Wait, how'd you find the food?
Noir: I have no eyes, so I simply sense what's around me. Allowing me to see through walls if I wished to. Finding what I needed was simple.
Octavia nodded and lead Linc into the building.
*****
About an hour later, the snowball fight between Loona and Moxxie had reached its end. Moxxie's head was sticking out of a literal hill of snow while Loona had her rear end sticking out of another hill of snow.
Moxxie: You know, I thought you were supposed to behave more responsibly than this. Being an adult and all...
Loona: (muffled) You threw... The First... Snowball!!
Moxxie: (sniffs the air) Hmmm... I think we're missing out on Noir's beef pot pie.
Loona: (begins struggling to get free) If I don't get any, I'm kicking your fat ass!
Moxxie: Oh pipe down you
*****
After eating and unburying Moxxie and Loona, Blitzo had most of the others gather out on the snowy field. Meanwhile, Stolas and Ms. Mayberry were watching from the porch.
Blitzo: How about a game? Cowboys vs Indians! Two sides try to capture the enemy in a snowball war! I'll join in.
Octavia: If you're in this war, then where's your fort?
Blitzo: My what?
Octavia pointed to a castle made of snow.
Noir: Not my finest work, but it'll hold. Really wish I could've added the indoor tennis court like I wanted to...
Loona: Just how talented of a crafter are you?
Blitzo: Well... I don't have one, okay? Now...
Octavia: You got to have a fort.
Millie: Forts win wars, Blitz.
Blitzo: (growls) Okay, fine! Do you want a fort? (makes a small snow fort) There. There's your fort! Now...
Linc: That fort's too small.
Blitzo: It's okay, Linc. It's just a demonstration. Now...
Octavia: He's right. That thing would never protect you. It's downright puny.
Blitzo: Trust me, it's fine.
Loona throws a snowball at Blitzo. He wipes the snow off his face.
Octavia: See, it is too small.
Blitzo: Not if I crouch down. I mean, you didn't even give me a chance to crouch down. (crouches down) See? Down here, I am perfectly...
Loona then throws another snowball at Blitzo.
Linc: Exposed.
Blitzo: Would you please... (Loona throws another snowball at Blitzo) ... Stop throwing... (Loona throws another snowball at Blitzo) ... Snowballs?!
Loona pauses and throws another snowball at Blitzo. Blitzo growls and retaliates with a snowball of his own but it puts out his fireplace yet again.
Linc: (gasps) Blitz returned fire!
Millie: Then it's war!
Blitzo: No-no... no, wait, wait, wait! (crouches down behind his snow fort) I was just giving a demonstration!
The five throw lots of snowballs at Blitzo. Blitzo ends up looking like a snowman from all the snowballs that hit him. A hat then falls on his head. He then growls and breaks out of the snowman.
Blitzo: All right, that's it! You guys asked for it!
Blitzo runs from his small fort before stopping once he got some distance, makes another snowball but a cannon blast rang out, and Blitzo was buried in snow. Moxxie was sitting proudly atop a cannon made from snow, Noir floating close by.
Noir: If only I could've made the snowcone maker...
Octavia: Why would it need a snowcone maker?
Blitzo: Hey! That's not fair! Cowboys and Indians couldn't afford cannons!
Loona: Couldn't afford station wagons either.
Moxxie pulls the string once more and Blitzo is blasted back by a station wagon made entirely of snow. Blitzo opened the door and stepped out of the snow station wagon.
Blitzo: Nice Paneling...
After a bit of team making. The snowball fight then continued, this time, it was Imps vs Non-Imps, Octavia, Loona, and Linc taking the snow castle, while Moxxie, Millie, and Blitzo had a large snow fort. Noir sat this one out as his help made the fight one-sided.
Noir: Void sure is taking his time. He must've found some kind of animal nest to kill.
Ms. Mayberry: Will Void be alright?
Noir: It's more worrying by the fact he wasn't in the barrier when we came to the living world.
*****
Outside of the misty snow barrier, Void was launching several energy blasts at several people dressed as people from a Church Choir. One was better dressed than the others.
Choir Woman: Choir Leader! We can't keep up with this book!
Choir Leader: Damn, this was supposed to be a yearly Demon Hunt! What is this book!?
Void opened itself and began turning its pages.
Choir Leader: (gasps) It's about to attack again!
Void: Òå˜ç'.
Void then launched dozens of lances at the group, some managed to dodge but others were pierced through various parts of their bodies.
Choir Leader: Damn! ♫You take our lives flawed yet beautiful restore them, and refine them! Lord, by your merciful hands, redeem and restore!♫
Suddenly a light formed around the injured people. Their wounds closed rapidly, Void chuckled at this.
Choir Leader: This thing sees us as just toys to play with!
Choir Man: We can't keep up with this thing! Its attacks just keep coming!
Choir Woman: Leader... You have to flee...
Choir Man: We're replaceable but someone who can sing the Holy Songs is rare! We'll try to buy you time!
Choir Leader: I won't leave you here to die!
???: Do you need assistance?
Then the Choir Leader looked up to see the Fourth Maiden, Agness.
Choir Leader: Fourth Maiden?!
Agness: Sorry to say this, but The Holy Choir hunt is over.
Choir Leader: What!?
Agness: The demon you're hunting is a Great Prince of Hell and 36th Spirit of the Ars Goetia. And that book belongs to the Empty Hellhound, a Hellhound who bares no life force, even though all living creatures have some amount of it, the same one that beat the Third Maiden and is said to be stronger than Second.
Choir Leader: Those names alone shake the World Church... Both are considered high-threat enemies of humanity... Everyone! Fall back!!
Agness: I'll buy time then escape myself, hurry, it's only a matter of time before either the Great Prince or the Empty Hellhound notice this fight.
Void scoffed when Agness said fight. Making it clear to everyone that it didn't see her as an opponent or even a threat. The Holy Choir fled, trudging through the snow, away from Void as fast as they could. The bodies left behind began to pour blood unnaturally fast, the blood then flowed onto the pages of Void, and a few new spells were written down.
Agness: That's a freaky trick, let me guess you absorb the blood of your victims as a source of power to create your spells.
Void laughed as he prepared several energy-made swords and spears. Agness readied her gun, flicking the safety off.
Agness: I'll either die here or live to serve my lord and savior! Let's find out which that will be!!!
To Be Continued...
That's all for this chapter, bye!
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