If We Exist
Yano_Ism

Cover: (5/10)
The cover is okay, but it doesn't seem to really fit the story. I suggest finding an image with two boys instead of the back of one's head. Also, when it states the author is doesn't have an underscore, and you might want to use the correct username on the cover of your book. The banner adds a pop of color, but I would suggests making the cover brighter overall.

Title: (8/10)
The title is good, in my opinion. I don't see anything wrong with it and it peaks interest. But it didn't become relevant in the first 3 chapters that I read, so it doesn't make as much sense to me as it should.

Grammar + Spelling: (4/10)
You missed a few commas here and there, but for the most part your comma usage was good. In the prelude, you used 'fro' instead of 'from,' and I'm not sure if you meant to or if it's a spelling error, but either way it should be 'from.'
"However, trees weren't the only thing in decline after decades of deforestation, so too were the Brommian and their livelihoods." This sentence should be restated to say, "However, trees weren't the only thing in decline after decades of deforestation; the Brommian livelihoods were too."
You wrote, "Ms Gourdin," but it should be, "Ms. Gourdin," with a period.
Your dialogue is completely off. You can just hit 'return' and put a dash. I would highly suggest you use quotation marks. If there is nothing after the dialogue, put a period at the end. If there is more, use a comma. (There are some exceptions to this rule.) Here are some examples:
Comma usage: "I love going to the beach," Casey smiled as he picked up a shell."
Period usage: "I don't know why you can't just get it over with." Maeve was persistent, but Olivia was stubborn.
Maybe some other people use this style, but for me it just ruined the flow of the story completely.
In chapter 3, someone says, "Watcha ya got there?" This should be, "Watcha got there?," because 'watcha' basically means 'what ya,' so there's no need for the second 'ya.'

Creativity: (6/10)
The world building was mediocre, but apart from that the story has a pretty good concept. The difference in social class isn't new, but since it's a different world it was more creative.

Writing: (6/10)
The writing in the prelude was pretty good, and you did a good job of showing the history and background of Ru's and Yuri's town. The thing I would say about it, though, is that is was kind of dry. The sophisticated tone you wrote in, in my opinion, didn't peak my interest and it was a bit hard to get through, even though it was only 3 pages long. Even the prelude was a lot to take in because of all the new groups of people, and it just seemed like an information dump to me.
"He looked like a hare caught in headlights." The correct word is "deer," unless maybe you're using different terms to world-build, in which case you should make that clear.
In the first chapter, the writing was pretty good and you did a good a job of desiring the rainy weather and such.
In the second chapter, I liked how you told how Yuri played in the pitch during school and how you told about his obscenities. I also liked when Yuri suggested that Ru ride on his handlebars. I thought that part was cute.
The story overall doesn't flow super well, and I find that the dialogue is a big reason for this.
Also, in chapter 3 you say that Yuri's dad calls Yuri's mom Snow White, but then he proceeds to tell the story of Sleeping Beauty.

Characters: (5/10)
In the description of the story, you show that one of the boys is named "Ru Konstantin," but then in the prelude it says his name is, "Konstantin Ru," and then by the end of the prelude it's back to Ru. You should know your character's name because you wrote them, and it makes it less confusing for the reader.
First of all, Ru was an alright character, but some of his actions confused me. In chapter 2, he decided to run as fast as he could in the pitch, even though he said earlier that he has debilitating asthma. It didn't make sense and it seemed like a stupid thing to do. Yuri was a good character, and I liked him. His parents confused me though, because you made them sound very warm when you began chapter 3, but then they seemed very intimidating.

Overall Story: (6/10)
I wasn't crazy about the story. You definitely need to edit some things and change terms, but I like the concept well enough.

Total score: (40/70)
There were some things that turned me off from the story, like the way you wrote your dialogue. Many people in the comment sections were saying that they couldn't see any grammatical errors and such, but I don't think they looked closely enough. They are there, so just go through and edit the ones I suggested.

Thank you for submitting your story! If you have any questions please let me know.

syd❤️