Hanji's POV

Levi leaves in 2 days, and the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. Literally. I woke up this morning to puke once I thought of him leaving my side. He helped me clean myself up before serving me breakfast. It made me wrinkle my nose, but it's fine. I didn't want to say anything to Levi. I don't want to ruin these next few days.

"Are you okay?" Levi asks, trying to serve me tea, but I turned them down. Something must be expired in the tea or coffee because it doesn't taste right and I couldn't drink them anymore. And it's not like we're served coffee at work. "You don't seem right."

"You're leaving soon, Levi. Of course, I wouldn't seem right. Why can't you stay here forever?" I groaned, kissing his cheek. 

"If I could, I would. This place is nice... though I miss seeing the empty plains. Everything here is dirty and crowded. If I could have a place with Marley's modern but with the beautiful plains back within the walls, I would live there."

"There are cleaner places in Marley. Although, those places are not accessible to Eldians..." I looked at my armband, sighing softly. Even if I become an Honorary Marleyan, it still doesn't change the fact that I'll still be looked down upon at the sight of it. "But in the meantime... stay with me?"

"I can try, Hanji. But I can't make any promises." He gets up from his seat, and puts on a hat, trying to cover his eyes. "I'll be back, okay?"

"Where are you going?"

"Work." I knew he was talking about the Survey Corps, so I nod and watched him leave. 

Under my breath, I whispered, "Good luck, Levi..." fully aware that he would never hear those words. I sat there for a few seconds, staring at the food Levi prepared for me as it lay untouched. My stomach growled for food, but something in the smell churned my stomach, almost making me want to be sick to the stomach again. I left it alone before leaving my house to find a doctor. Maybe I have a stomach bug.

*   *   *

I answered all the questions, and my doctor's eyes grew wide. Without warning, they quickly brought me into a different room, checking my stomach. No matter how many times I was asking them for answers, they wouldn't give them.

The doctor gently puts pressure on my stomach. I winced in the pain, but it felt nice when he pushed certain spots. My muscles began to relax as I let my guard down.

"How does it feel?" He asks me, looking at me for my replies.

"A-Actually, it feels nice. What's going on? Something with the stomach? I know I haven't been able to eat certain foods-."

"That confirms it then."

"Confirms what?"

"You're pregnant. And you're maybe... 3, 4 months along?" 

His words began to blend with silence as an uncomfortable stone began to fall to the bottom of my stomach. I reached my hands around my stomach, feeling the outside of it and thinking about it. I couldn't have been pregnant. Anything but that. A sick stomach? Perhaps I caught a terrible disease from the island. Anything but a baby.

I spent the next hour asking questions, confirming that I was pregnant. I still couldn't believe it, but I displayed every symptom of pregnancy. I closed my eyes, trying to think otherwise. But now, I'm left with a question: what am I supposed to say about this baby? I can't do anything to get rid of it- all of that goes to Marleyans. And even if I request it from Marley, they'll be suspicious about how I got that pregnant in a matter of a short period. So many problems that cannot be solved...

*   *   *

Upon returning home, I cried my eyes out. A part of me wanted to rid myself of this problem. I can't have a baby. I just can't. But there was a part of me that wanted to keep it. I wanted to have this baby. I wanted to take care of a little child of mine and raised it in a way that no other Eldian in Liberio has ever experienced. I wanted to treat these children with love and never show them fear, even when the world is nothing but that. Fearful.

"What... what am I going to do with you?" I whispered to my stomach, running my hands over my stomach. It didn't show since this is the first time I'm a mother. But soon, I'll see a small bump growing at the bottom of my stomach, showing that a baby was growing inside of me. "What will Levi say...?"

I curled up on the couch, closing my eyes and waiting for Levi to return. He'll return home tomorrow... and I fear I'll never see him again. I need to plan to figure out what to do. 

Should I come up with a lie to keep this little one? Or should I find a way to ensure this baby of mine won't be born in this cruel world?

Levi doesn't come back until 3 hours after the sun fell. I hear him open the door, calling my name in a hushed tone. Something overtook me as I grabbed a nearby book and threw it at him. He barely dodges it by a few centimeters. Our eyes met as confusion filled his mind. 

"What was that for?"

I threw another book, feeling my tears ready to fall again. "I hate you!" I picked up another one, seeing him dodge the second book.  I wind my arm up to throw the third one, but I didn't have the strength to throw it. Instead, I fell to my knees, holding my stomach as I murmured those words again, "I hate you..."

"What did I do?" He asks, walking slowly toward me. "Hanji, why do you hate me?" He doesn't question why I threw those books at him. Only questioning why I hate him. He knelt as my forehead collided with his shoulder. His arms snake up my back, holding me tightly. "Hanji, what's going on?"

"L-Levi... I don't know what to do."

"Tell me everything."

"Do you promise to not hate or abandon me?"

"I promise. But you should know that I'll never hate or abandon you. What gave you those thoughts? Did I do something that bad? What did I do to make you have those thoughts?"

"Levi... I'm pregnant... and I'm maybe 3-4 months along..."