What was going through that head of his?

Was he happy?

Did he love me as much as I loved him?

Had he grown tired of me already?

I couldn't stop thinking about what he thought of me.

It was eating away at me, one nagging bite at a time.

Everytime I start to think he doesn't love me, he does something to cloud my judgment.

Like the way he smiles at me.

That smile that always seems to set my entire world in flames.

Or how he blushes when I catch him staring at me.

How gentle his touches are.

His sweet words.

His stupid jokes that don't make any sense at all, but still manage to make me laugh.

A small smile draws on my lips as he looks over at me.

With a raised brow, he starts speaking words I just can't seem to focus on.

He gives me a weird look, before turning his attention back to his phone.

His phone.

That's been a problem between us.

He claims there's nothing to be worried about, but he freaks out everytime I even get near it.

He spends most of his time on that stupid thing.

Talking to someone.

He tells me I'm just being paranoid.

But I know I'm not.

There's someone else he's talking to.

I just don't know who.

Sighing I open my book.

Reading words of true and undying love.

I wonder what it was like.

To have someone to show you that type of unconditional love.

I flipped the page, enthralled in the adventure.

Her prince charming carries her away, telling her words of love and passion.

Her cheeks redden as he continues to whisper sweet nothings.

I close my eyes, envisioning what the young maiden was feeling at that very moment.

The feeling of having such a strong, but gentle man hold you so close.

Seeing the love in his eyes.

A love you knew was for you and only you.

Something so pure.

How they'd hold each other.

Sharing secret kisses.

Exchanging touches that only the darkness lay witness too.

Late night talks under the moonlight.

Sharing warmth in the bitter winter nights.

Only to find out, that later on, their love had grown even deeper than before.

A child.

The ultimate proof of there true love.

My eyes open, as someone's hand on my arm continues to shake me.

I look over to see my love in front of me.

Saying my name over and over again.

Had I fallen asleep?

I look down in my lap.

To see the world I had just been envisioning.

Now laying face down on the floor.

I picked up the book.

Closing it.

Disconnecting myself from the fantasy world I had fell in love with.

I placed it back on the bookshelf.

Till I come back again.

I look around the room.

He's not in here.

I call out his name, but there's no reply.

I walk out the room to see him once again on his phone.

His eyes meet mine, as he hurriedly moves his phone out of my view.

He looks away from me, somewhat guilty looking.

Why?

Why did he look guilty?

Was my feeling right.

I look out the window.

Night has fallen already.

Beautiful, bright stars fill the dark sky.

The temperature has dropped recently.

Going from warm, muggy summer days.

To cold, brisk nights.

Nature was starting to change as well.

All the bright colors were starting to dull.

Everything was changing.

And I often wondered if they were for the good.

How long has it been.

Days?

Weeks?

No longer than that.

Months?

Or even years.

I felt like I was starting to drown.

And this time, there was no one there to save me from the fierce waters.

Blue water.

No blackened water surrounded me

Filling my lungs.

Salt.

That's all I was able to taste was salt.

Was there no one there?

No one to save me.

Light.

A bright light.

Slowly taking over the darkness.

A hand reaches out.

Offering me the salvation I need.

I reach my hand forward.

Struggling as waves crash into me.

One after another.

As if they were attacking me.

Trying to weaken me.

Making sure I can't leave.

The hand grabs mine, pulling me from the harsh waters.

Darkness.

It's surrounding me.

I blink my eyes a few times.

My room?

I was in my room.

I sit up.

Feeling confused.

I look around, trying to figure out as to what just happened.

Had I been dreaming again?

I look over to the spot next to me.

Empty.

For the fourth time this week.

No messages.

No missed calls.

Nothing.

Just empty.

I lay back down.

Grab his pillow.

Breathing in, hoping to smell his scent that only he has.

It was starting to fade away.

Like he was.

The smell of my perfume was slowly being replaced by someone else's.

But did I say anything?

No.

I just faked my smile.

Pretending that I didn't notice.

Pretending that everything was ok.

Pretending that we were still happy.

Pretending that he loved me.

I felt stupid.

I knew he didn't love me.

I knew he was seeing someone.

But yet I hung on to him.

I clung to him.

Was I just scared to be alone?

No that couldn't be it.

I'd been alone before.

Had I sunk so low that I'd put up with things like this.

All because of love.

Love.

Such a tricky thing.

It could either be the best feeling in the world.

Or the worst.

I had felt both.

In the beginning, it was amazing.

How he treated me.

I felt like a queen.

But now.

Well now I'm lucky to get a kiss from him.

Or even a loving glance.

Had I done something wrong?

No that couldn't be it.

Could it?

I think I hear the door unlock.

Was he actually here?

But he doesn't appear.

Love hurts.