1/25/18

7:23 PM

Dear Hot Cocoa,

Starting at a new school will do things to you

Make you 

talk to people you wouldn't normally talk to

say things to them you wouldn't normally say

agree with things you wouldn't normally agree with

listen more than you usually do

That's what I remember

when I'm thinking of our first days

s

o

o

o

o

o

o

o

o

o

o much listening

i listened to things I didn't care about

I listened to

stories

worries

questions

babbling

because I was so afraid that if I interrupted,

I wouldn't have friends. 

That's what made you so different, then

Because the first time I talked to you

we were sitting at a table full of people who I was grasping at like

final straws

So afraid they'd slip through my fingers

And they all stood up to leave

Ready to go home

We said goodbye

And I thought,

"Well, now I'm going to be alone at this table like I'd been worried about this entire time."

But

You stayed there with me

And you listened. 

No one can listen anymore, it seems like

And  that's  why  I  write  so  much .  I  wouldn't  tell  anyone  that  ( because  they  aren't  listening )  but  that's  mostly  why .  If  I  can't  make  anyone  listen ,  write  it  all  down  and  they  can  find  out  in  their  own  time.

But just because you have ears and use them

you may just be the best person i know

you laugh so much, make me feel funny on my dreary days

you're affectionate, make me feel loved during those lonely spells

You're warm and sweet like a mug of hot cocoa

Extended to a stranger on a snowy night

You're the only person who says, "I love you"

And no one ever knows how to respond

I always want to say it back, but it sounds too clunky in my voice

I only use those words in phrases like

" You know 

I

    love

        you,

               but . . ." And then something that makes everybody laugh

Because love

To us

Isn't something we know well enough to call by name

Only you with a 

                 Big smile

and

                 Welcoming eyes

and

                The strongest heart that could carry you through any other sort of flaw you might have

Can say it and believe so hard in us

That you know we all feel the same way

Even if we won't say it

                 Your new friend,

                              Never

(P.S: if you ever read this, never change <3)