10/29/16
3:12 PM

Dear Lemon,

I hate to start with you, but there's so much to say 

Because even though I'm with you every single day

There's a multitude of things I keep hidden

That I'm thinking about you that really sicken

Me, so I'm going to say them now:

i. why do you talk about yourself all the time?

Maybe you don't realize

That I don't care

Or that I'm not listening

Or that I'm glaring daggers

While you speak

You realize that it gets a little grating after a while, since we're together so often and I talk to you every day, that no matter what I say, it becomes about you again some way.

I've started noticing it more lately

How you change the subject when I talk about my family

Or my writing or my art

Or anything close to my heart

Really

Because you don't care

And if you don't care, I don't see why I should.

ii. why do you think things about yourself that aren't true?

No, people don't think you're funny

No, people don't think you're emo

No, people don't think you're weird

No, people don't think you're any smarter than they are

The truth is:

People don't think about us much

And you need to accept that

People don't think you're talented.

That's okay

People don't think I am either

But if I believe within myself that I'm good at things?

Then I can keep doing them.

Do I tell you every time someone compliments my writing?

No.

Do I tell you every time someone sees one of my sketches

On a school paper and says

"I wish I could do that"?

No.

Do I tell you every time I learn to play a song and play it well?

I Don't.

I. Do. Not. Need. You. To. Think. I. Am. Talented.

You shouldn't need me to think that, either. 

iii. why aren't you what I need?

Best friend?

Good friend?

Friend?

Acquaintance? 

Why don't you matter more to me?

Why don't I matter more to you?

How come every time you open your mouth

I think of a million things wrong with what you say?

How come every small victory you gain

Becomes a knock to me?

And vice versa?

Why don't you want to read my poems?

Why do you look away when I show you things I've created?

I don't know who exactly I need

But it isn't you

Even if you think it is.

I'm sorry this letter was so negative, but you leave a sour taste in my mouth. I can't think of whatever drew me to you in the first place because the aftertaste is all I remember. That, and the initial sour punch.

              Your friend,

                          Never

(PS: If you ever read this, don't be mad. Just find someone else to bother)