During an early dinner with the whole group and our parents, Grace and I dipped our heads together and talked in hushed tones as the others chatted about high school memories.

"Met my dad today," I spoke calmly, low so only she heard.

"Oh my God, Alexa! That's great!" Grace whisper-cried, her blue eyes widening.

"Not really," I replied. "He was kind of a douche. He was really rude."

"Hmph. I figured. I just was being tactful."

I giggled. "I didn't know being tactful was your thing."

"I know. I tried. Never again, you ungrateful brat."

I smiled lightly. "Seriously. I wish I hadn't wondered about him so much as a kid. All I needed for a father figure was your dad."

Grace smiled fondly. "Yeah."

"How are you, anyway?" I didn't have to say what about. It was obvious.

She took a deep, shuddering breath."I wish he was here."

I nodded, but I said nothing. The oblivious conversation around us continued.

"Like, he was gonna see me graduate this year. It was all he talked about. And now he's just gone." Grace stared at her lap sadly. "Poor Ellie, though. I'm sadder for her. At least I'll remember him." She glanced at the blonde two year old, nearing her third birthday.

"I'm sorry, Grace. I know she'll get through it. It doesn't take much to be stronger than I am."

"Don't say that," Grace protested. "So you had a lapse in common sense. So does everyone."

I smiled at her. "That was so perfect. Thank you."

"You're welcome, babe. Just glad you're okay." She squeezed my hand tightly, offering a sweet smile.

"Guys," Summer said a few minutes. "The bonfire is starting. We should go."

"Let's just all take my car," Matt suggested.

"Stay careful, young man," warned Mr. Carrigan sternly. "I don't want you driving drunk."

"Pff. No drinking at all," his mother added, sending a glare her husband's way.

"Honey. They're teenagers. We know what they do, even when we tell them not to."

Matt frowned. "I offered to drive, I knew what that meant."

"Just watching out for you, sweets," Mrs. Carrigan told him.

"Anyway, we should go, bye!" Grace rushed, anxious to leave and party.

"Where are you going?" asked one of the triplets.

"Can we come?"

"You guys are so unfair, everything is always only for big kids."

"Go, go, go," Jen whispered. We snuck out of the restaurant quietly, as the triplets complaints filled the air.

~

When we arrived at the beach, the fire was already casting long shadows as the fiery sky neared darkness. People from all around our school gathered around the beach.

"Alexa!" Marin called from down near the fire. She ran up to hug me. "Congratulations!"

"You, too, girl," I replied. After Reed had tossed her emotions around like a salad, she'd ended up depressed and lonely, surrounded by fake friends, besides Ava Gossamer. She'd turned to me as a confidant, since we'd been through the same thing with the same exact boy.

The beach was a much-needed carefree time for all of us before we went off to college. I didn't drink (bad things usually came with that) and I watched over my friends, who did drink, and as a result acted like total morons.

Matt walked over to me with two sodas, and handed one to me. "Drunk people are the most entertaining kind," he observed.

"True stuff," I agreed, giggling as Aiden and Grace danced goofily to "Watch Me", doing the worst ever whip and nae-nae.

"I hope you have a really good time in Australia," Matt told me. "We're gonna miss you here in the states."

"You'll find a way to survive."

"Doubtful."

I laughed. "Aw, Matty. I'll miss you too. You're one of my best friends."

"Friends," he echoed, after staying quiet for a beat. "D'you ever think, like...if it weren't for Reed, what we would be? Like, still friends?"

"All the time," I replied truthfully. I gazed out at the ocean and the starry velvet sky above it. "If I wasn't so stupid."

"Maybe it was for the best."

"Doubtful."

Matty shrugged. "Well, you're going away, anyway, so-"

"Matthew Carrigan. I'm leaving for two semesters, not fifty years. You know that."

"Alright, I'll be honest. We need to be away from each other, so when you get back we can start fresh," Matt explained. "Like, we can really get over each other."

I blinked nervously. Did he just imply he wasn't over me? Because I knew I wasn't over him. Before I could ask him, fat drops of rain began to fall, slowly for a few seconds and then with force.

"I told them," Matt said, squinting as a bit of his wet hair got into his eye. The drunken members of our group stumbled to the car, plus Aiden since he'd driven himself.

"I'll stay over Grace's," he chuckled, kissing all over the giggling blonde's face.

They were the first dropped off, then Jen, then Summer. Finally, it was me and Matt, riding alone in his car, the rain beating hard on the windshield.

"Matt," I asked, once Summer left the car. "Are you over me?"

"Not even a little bit," he sighed.

"Me neither," I admitted. "I'm trying."

"I was barely over you when Ara was around. Now it's worse than before." Matt took a deep breath. "I- I really like you. A lot. So much. But, I'm so scared of us that I can't do it."

"I understand," I said quietly. We pulled up at my house, and I hugged him over the center console. "We have all summer to figure things out, okay?"

"Yeah," he replied, looking dazed in deep thought.

"See you," I said, exiting his car.

"Bye."

I held my jacket over my head, inefficiently sheltering my head from the pouring rain. I glanced one more time over my shoulder, and Matt still sat in his car, deep in thought. Then, he sped away.

I swung the door shut, and leaned against it, exhaling deeply. I don't know what I thought would happen, but I'd been sure he was going to make some kind of move.

Oh, well. You can't always get what you want.

My squelching, wet sandals had only just been discarded to the side when there was an urgent knock at the door. Puzzled, I opened it. On the other side, was Matt, looking frazzled in a soaked white button-down, and his hair plastered against his forehead.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. He grabbed my face and pulled me into the most agonizingly heartfelt kiss I will ever experience. He pulled me into his wet chest, our bodies connecting at all points.

When he pulled away, he grabbed my hands. "Alexa. I can't be scared anymore. All I think about is you. I don't care what happens, I just need you."

"Why?" I breathed, unthinkably happy. "What changed?"

"Nothing," Matt replied. "Nothing except I saw a beautiful girl headed off to Australia without me. And I realized, I can't let go of that beautiful girl. I never will."

I was at a loss for words, so I simply kissed him.

We gazed into each other's eyes, the rain thrumming behind us steadily. "Man," he sighed. "I love you."

I nearly choked on happiness, my grin expanding to the stars. "I love you, too, Matty."

"Good," he said, running his fingers through my hair. "Don't ever stop."

"Don't worry," I told him, squeezing his hand. "I promise. "

THE END