THE PAST

will you stay this time?

//

Jimin walks through the glossy walls of the airport, ringed hands tucked neatly into his trouser pockets. his eyes stay lowered, one hand pulling along his small, perfect suitcase-- this same suitcase has become his best friend in multiple, dreamy countries where people were too close yet too distant. it holds everything minimal and materialistic, he can't let go of it and reduce himself to a simple backpack.

did he go backpacking? he's not sure, he thinks as he adjusts the leather satchel holding his essentials, on his back. he walks slower now, chestnut eyes hiding behind a pair of shady sunglasses he brought from the echoing city of New York-- the same rowdy sounds still ring in his ears. in the same way Japan, Morocco, England, Australia, Spain and Turkey do. all the same sounds but all so different.

when he stops in his tracks to look around and check the directions attached to the ceiling to see where he's heading, he feels his head fade. the urge to pick a random flight, march up to the reception desk and buy a plane ticket is tingling through his fingertips.

he's been at this airport several times yet... he feels nothing towards it. it makes him want to run away even more. he'd much rather be in a place that feels too familiar in the present moment. he doesn't know anyone here yet he feels like he does and he hates it.

the boy has lived in the past far too much, he's had enough of that now. when he started to live in the present, that's when shit started to change. he needed shit to change and it did, finally.

he doesn't glance around, biting at the edge of his bottom lip. he recognises the small pit of anxiety in his stomach— it's not a nice feeling. he stares ahead, blankly glancing at the arrows. the rushing, diverse people all blend into one until an oblivious, single person ruins all of that.

this person doesn't blend, wouldn't dare to.

Jimin feels his heart stop beating in his chest. all of the old shit returns in that moment and even the frozen butterflies are fluttering again. he stares from behind his dusky sunglasses, eyes completely focused-- the same way they were focused all these months, at the sight of a museum, an animal and a painting. she's neither of them, she's here but so incredibly humane that he shudders.

he licks over the slight rip in his bottom lip, watching the familiar woman who hasn't seen him yet. he should leave but he asked. his hand grips his suitcase as he presses his hand firmly against his lower stomach-- stop, you ran away from this for a reason.

does time heal all? no, he knows that, he thinks back to the lonely grave he was planning on first visiting.

eventually, she spots him.

Jimin makes the move to remove his sunglasses. his eyes blink due to the furious light, adjusting to how he is seeing the world now. a world with her.

he didn't want to smile, he really didn't want to smile. but fuck, his lips turned and that was it.

"Jimin," he sees her say under her breath first as she stumbles to meet him halfway. "hi!" she greets excitedly, still not close but her voice pricks his ears.

the young man can't move, he knows he should be walking ahead to meet her, to hold her and say hello to her like he's done before. just like they used to in school corridors and lonely windowsills. but he just wants to look, look for a long time. he wants to hear her shout his name over and over again, even though he knows he doesn't deserve that either. he can't believe he asked if she could pick him up— the nerve.

ah, fuck all of that, he wants a cigarette.

"wait." Jimin is now in front of her and he wants to hit his stomach even harder. she's beaming with excitement and man, is it contagious. "i need to do something, pretend you didn't see me." she walks off behind him.

Jimin smiles in confusion. strange. he stays staring ahead, not looking at her from behind because he already knows what she's going to do.

in mere seconds, he feels a tug on his suitcase as he allows Serenity to take it away. memories of Amsterdam now relive the people they are many years later.

he turns around, wide smile spreading over his lips. "wow— fuck, what are you doing?" he plays along as she starts to walk away with his light, always lighter suitcase.

his heart is heavier.

he chases after her, shoes sounding loud, until he reaches by her side. he keeps one hand in his black trouser pocket before wrapping his left arm around Serenity. peace engulfs her as he engulfs her, hand squeezing her shoulder and she continues to pull his suitcase.

"how are you?" she asks and he spots the twinkle in her eyes, the same twinkle Jungkook has put there.

he's happy for her, his hand brushes over her ringed hand that lies on the handle over his suitcase as he takes it back-- not wanting to bother her. she shouldn't have to do anything for him.

as they reach the exit of the airport, Jimin feels really glad that he called her to pick him up. they're in a much better place— sure, he has his family but Serenity is the closest. she's tied to the one place he can't stand and he just had to deal with that.

Serenity's friend soon approaches them, the one she mentioned as their driver. Hoseok greets Jimin politely, embracing him slightly but the younger senses the overprotectiveness and on-guard nature. they've never met but he's aware of Serenity's childhood best friend. she made the effort to tell Jimin about the rest of the love stories and he listened. in some sense, she's similar to him— finding comfort in people but unlike him, she seeks for more, seeks attachment and even asks for names. she's one of the ones who stuck— a name of peace.

"Hoseok will be driving us back, that's okay right?" Serenity asks, opening the shiny, silver car for him to place his suitcase and satchel inside.

he nods in response, swinging his satchel over his body before Serenity excuses herself to pay for the parking ticket so they can leave the busy premises. Jimin almost smirks when Hoseok steps forward, now taking the time to confront him. his whole polite, friendly demeanour drops and Jimin is amused. "i know about you." is how the man starts. married, he notices.

"yeah, i bet you know about all the letters. were you one of them?" Jimin fires back. it's the most he's said being back in the country. he already knows the answer.

"you left once, how do we know you're not going to leave again? coming back and forth, is that fun to you?"

Jimin may be a changed man but he is still Jimin. "who knows?" he says rhetorically and turns to Serenity who arrives back.

//

"before you go in..." Serenity reaches out, treating Jimin as she always did years ago but with more boundaries. he doesn't mind. "i have a surprise for you when you go in."

Jimin furrows his brows and notices his suitcase in her hand again. "get your hands off my suitcase, you'll never let it go will you?" he reaches out, taking her smaller hand away as his head bumps into hers.

Serenity groans and Jimin sighs, rubbing his head. "just let me carry it in for you!" she takes the suitcase inside aggressively.

"what surprise are you even talking about?"

"the best surprise."

Jimin turns around to see a very happy Taehyung, oh my man. enthusiastic eyes, sharp outfit and polished shoes greet him back. Jimin really needs this.

"seriously?" Jimin grins, jumping onto his friend Taehyung. over the years, he's grown closest to Taehyung— so close that they consider each other soulmates. the man returns the hug, lifting the smaller with intense affection.

Serenity leaves them alone as the two start to talk to one another. Taehyung points to a family photo frame on the wall, "look at us brother, imagine... we were in the line of love letters, we could have been in Jungkook's place." he chuckles, thinking deeply for a second. "the closeted gay and the one who wishes he came back sooner."

the married Jungkook overhears, from behind a wall as he stands blankly. he leans his back against the wall— what?

on the other side of the wall, Jimin acknowledges Taehyung's words but also remembers Hoseok's from the airport, let it go Jimin. it's too late man.