Serenity likes to prepare for situations.

Such as job interviews or adopting children, things she has control over. But life has taught her that preparation is impossible for certain lives events. When she looks back at her distant past, Serenity realises she's never had control.

She was never prepared for Taehyung cheating on her, falling into depression when she was in high school, sending her love letters when she was a drunk mess and falling into despair, recovering from self loathing and self harm, spending two years with Yoongi, bumping into Jimin on holiday, lose friends, Hoseok's reply to her letter with unspoken feelings and an unresolved situation, her daughter to lose her love letters to seven boys, sitting next to Jungkook on a bus ride, Jin sending her mixed feelings, a happy life and she sure as hell was not ready for Namjoon's death.

"Okay thanks i bye-" Jungkook's mumbles fade into the tension of the air. He slips his phone into his back pocket before calling out to his wife who's upstairs. "Serenity? Can you come here?"

Serenity's thoughts halt as she realises she's been stood in front of the bathroom mirror for the longest time. The urgency and uncertainty in her husbands voice makes her rush downstairs.

Jungkook looks like a mess. He doesn't know what to do or say as his hands wave around, trying to find the right words for his significant other to hear. There's a frown on his lips and he doesn't wait for Serenity to approach him, ask what's wrong because he's too worried.

He gulps harshly and grips the dark ends of his hair before his brown eyes flicker across the entire house. "The police just called... Jimin's been in a car accident." His voice wavers slightly.

Serenity ignores the pit feeling in her stomach, knowing something is wrong. She wasn't prepared for this. Instead she takes Jungkook's hand, their car keys and they make their way to the accident scene where their friend is.

When the couple arrive, Serenity nearly stumbles out of the car- her eyes taking in the scene all at once. The sight of flashing police cars, sirens buzzing in her ears, people walking around, oblivious to how she's feeling, doing their job makes her feel incredibly sick.

Jungkook waits near the car, holding the door open as Serenity runs off, her eyes looking for her friend but also someone she can just question. She needs explanations and confirmations.

A police man approaches Serenity, stopping her nervous tracks, "Are you Serenity?"

Serenity is bewildered, her eyes don't know where to focus. She manages a nod since she has a feeling her voice will let her down due to the the heavy feeling in her chest. It makes her want to puke, cry out his name, the alarming sirens around her seem to blast in her ears, Jungkook's worried face as he watches her, biting his fingers and the immense worry.

The police man nods and holds a clipboard in his hands. "You were his emergency contact." He explains and keeps his distance in a respectful manner. You must be really important since you aren't blood related family and you're put as his emergency contact.

"Why are we here? Why aren't we at the hospital? Where is he?"

"i'm sorry to say this." The man starts and Serenity tries to prepare herself but there's not enough time, there's never enough time. "We've been told it was a suicide. From what we've seen, CCTV among other things, he was racing quite speedily and the investigation will continue on but it's likely to be confirmed as that conclusion-"

"How do you know? Who told you?"

The police man looks like he's been in this exact situation several times and it makes Serenity feel worse. His blank stares and his monotone voice. "The impact of the car hitting against the wall was harsh. He purposely drove into it at a fast speed. I'm sorry, this isn't the news you want to hear but he died as soon as the car hit." And everything stops.

Serenity wants to press her hands against her ears, she wants to tell the man in front of her to stop talking. But instead, she refuses to acknowledge the truth. "Let me see him please, where is he?" Her voice is a plead and she doesn't get the answer she wants, only an apology.

What will sorry do?- she wants to scream.

Serenity feels faint, her legs start to wobble as she turns around, the scene around her makes the heavy burden in her chest increase. Images of Jimin smiling, laughing, winking turn into images of him crying, screaming, shouting then driving, driving, driving and...

images of Namjoon appear too.

Serenity feels nothing but heartbreak as she feels tears slip down her cheeks, her throat ache in discomfort and her hands shake on either side of her.

She runs into Jungkook's arms as he holds her close, already knowing what the police had stated. The crashed car on its side in pieces says enough.

Serenity grips her husband, afraid he might leave her too, shutting her eyes tightly, wanting to be sucked away by the darkness as she tries to repress every negative image of her close friend Jimin, every thought of never seeing him again until she lets out a mournful sob. "I can't deal with this Jungkook."

When Serenity opens her eyes again, tears blurring her vision, a glimpse of pink strands of hair along with an ambulance comes into view and an echo of her voice saying "That's my favourite hair colour on you." Rings in her ears as loud as ever.

—

forgive me omg bye im nervous