Chapter six - negative emotions

Dear Nobody,

I was right. Lara came barging into my room this morning, making it very clear that Paulo was off limits. I didn't promise her anything because one—Paulo isn't her possession, and two—I don't owe her anything.
Of course she wasn't happy, but I don't really care if she's happy or not. She hates me anyways. I'm sure dad will hear of it and he'll want to have a word with me. Let him talk, at least that way he would take some time out of his day for me.

I feel lonely, Nobody. Do you ever feel like you have no purpose in life? You wonder what you're here on this earth for, what difference you could make, but come up with nothing?
I feel like that right now. I read of all the superheroes, saving and changing the world, but I'm here in my room, writing letters that nobody will ever read. What change, or—difference—could that ever bring?

None. Absolutely none.

So does that mean I'm here just as a waste of space? I feel like I am, but I don't want to be.

What can I do to change that?

                         ***

I placed my blue ink pen down, the feeling of worthlessness still swimming about inside of me, making me realize just how tired I was—physically and emotionally.

I rubbed my hands over my face and stood from my place behind my desk, trudging over to my closet before quickly changing into my pajamas and flinging myself onto my bed and under the sheets.

Although I was tired, sleep didn't come quickly. A million things flitted through my mind, a thousand emotions came with them.
I heard the wind rustle the leaves of the old willow tree next to my window, a branch scratching at the glass every once-in-a-while. I use to be afraid of the scratching sound it made, but eventually you get use to things.

I lay in the darkness, simply staring up at the ceiling, not able to see anything yet staring anyways. At some point my eyes finely started drooping shut, and I welcomed the world of oblivion.

***

ʙᴇ sᴛʀᴏɴɢ.
-ᴅᴜᴇᴛᴇʀᴏɴᴏᴍʏ 31:6

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