A/N: [Woah, it's almost the end, like, I'm actually surprised I kept writing this far.]

Recap:

"Hey, Santa, Juleka wanted to know where you got that styish hat from!"

Juleka glared at Rose, but she just laughed. This was where I expected him to tell the story about how Chat gave him my present, when he was saved by Paris' superhero after being bullied by a group of rude kids.

His answer came easily, but shook me in a tremendous way when realization hit me.

"Adrien gave it to me as a Christmas gift after we met," Santa replied happily, "He surely is full of surprises isn't he?"

~|~|~|~

Chat 🐱

I could not face her. I did not dare turn my head just to see the shocked, broken face of the one person I truly love turn into something of pain and anger.

I knew that she was eventually going to find out, but not like this. Never like this. Marinette excused herself from the table and asked Natalie where the restroom is.

At the worst time possible, Nino answered by calling out to me with a smirk, "Hey, Adrien, why don't you guide Marinette to the bathroom?"

I glared at him as he tipped his cap at me and took a long sip of his cool-drink. The rest of the guests were oblivious to what was going through my mind. Or Marinette's.

I got up from my seat hesitantly walked out of the dining room, making sure Marinette was following close behind. Somehow, I knew that she didn't actually need the bathroom. She just wanted to get away from me and, thanks to Nino, that didn't happen.

I started walking up the stairs to my room, ignoring the bathroom door that was a few doors away from the dining room. Marinette knew where I was really going, but she didn't say anything as she followed on anyway.

I had to talk to her in private, know what she's thinking about, apologise... but I'm pretty sure that both of us were terrified at what was to happen next.

I looked back at her, noticing that she was also trying not to make eye contact. When we reached my room, I opened the door and allowed her to pass through first.

I closed the door behind me after I followed her in, switching on the lights because I left the room dark the last time I was in it (I cried in the dark earlier).

We stood there in silence, looking anywhere but each other. It broke my heart to know that, after several nights of chatting, laughing and making love to one another, we'd have an awkward moment like this one. Except, now she knew my identity.

I sighed, lifting my jacket to let Plagg out. I needed something to break the silence and what better way than my irritating Kwami?

"Well," Plagg said, floating in front of me, "it's about time she found out."

Marinette looked up to Plagg and her blue-bell eyes widened. All her questions about me had probably been answered now.

Adrien Agreste— famous model and son of Gabriel Agreste— was actually Chat Noir, superhero of Paris.

Marinette stepped back, causing her to sit onto the couch in the middle of my room. She did not speak or look at me once. It was worse than how I reacted to finding out she was Ladybug.

Marinette rubbed the temples of her head for a while until she unclipped her bag to reveal a black-spotted, red toy. I realised that it was actually her Ladybug Kwami.

"Good to see you again, Tikki," Plagg greeted.

Tikki smiled back and replied, "Same to you, Plagg."

"You two know each other?" I asked quizzically.

If they did know each other, how long had it been since they had last seen each other? If it were years ago, I'd expect them to rush into a friendly embrace. Tikki explained to me, "Kwamis can sense other Miraculous Holders."

I understood what she was saying: they knew about each other whenever I visited the bakery as Chat. They knew about each our identities long before we could figure it out ourselves.

I shook my head, surprised. Plagg knew that Ladybug was Marinette the entire time! At school, the bakery and whenever I visited her house! Of course he wouldn't tell me, I knew, because all he truly cared about was cheese and making me miserable.

"You knew the whole time?" Marinette asked Tikki softly in a sullen tone.

The Ladybug Kwami nodded regretfully and apologised, "I'm sorry, Marinette. Throughout history, Kwamis were never allowed to tell our Miraculous Holders the identity of another."

"Why not?" Marinette hissed.

I understood what she meant: why couldn't you at least hint at it? Why do we have to find out ourselves? Why couldn't you just tell me so I wouldn't have to suffer like this now?

Marinette buried her head in her hands. I could see her still refusing to believe that her Kwami— someone she would consider as a friend— wouldn't tell her that I was Chat. Marinette looked so confused, exhausted and...lifeless.

I did this to her. I made her feel the way she did and everything that went wrong in her life was on my hands.

"Uhmm, we'll be outside," Tikki said to me, gesturing to the door, "and let you know if someone's coming."

Plagg agreed immediately, eager to escape the awkward atmosphere that was brewing around Marinette and me.

The second they left, I started making my way closer to the couch. I slowly sat down next to her, far enough so that she wouldn't feel uncomfortable.

One minute passed...then two...three... I started to worry: had I completely broke her so badly that she couldn't even talk? Was she now permanently emotionless? Would she ever be my Princess again?

She began to speak, which got me at the edge of my seat with beady eyes, yearning for her voice to be directed at me at least one more time.

"I used to have a crush on you," she croaked, "I showed you everything. You know about the posters I put up of you on my wall, made a collage on my computer, I even showed you the stupid schedule! And the whole time it was you?"

I cringed in shame as if she just slapped me in the face. Her words hurt me, but not as bad as I hurt her.

It was the way she said it that really crushed me, however, because it reminded me of the first day we met, how she hated me for being Chloe's friend. At that time, I thought she'd never like me and that I'd have her as an enemy for the rest of my life.

Now, that same feeling was coming back to me.

"Marinette...?" I sighed, not knowing what to say.

She continued anyway, "I was so worried about you getting hurt because 'Chat ran away' and 'Adrien was kidnapped' when, really, you were the same person..."

I tried moving closer to her, but she noticed and jumped easily off the couch. Marinette started walking towards the large window and glowered at the specks of snow that littered it's surface.

"I was worried that you were always going to be angry at me," she sneered, "When I should actually be angry at you."

"You know that I was always willing to show you my identity," I blurted pleadingly, jumping off the couch, "Before we became serious, before we made love—"

"Everytime I brought up the topic of Adrien to you as Chat," Marinette said under her breath, loud enough for me to hear, "You would smirk and toy with me, asking me questions about yourself. You made fun of me."

I was getting angrier by the second. She didn't know what I had been going through after she revealed her identity.

I would have risked everything for her: my identity, my Miraculous, my life. Even though, this whole time, she could have taken care of herself. She had no right to be angry at me.

"What about when I told you about my love towards Ladybug? And you enjoyed teasing me then. Did it not occur to you that I'd be just as heart-broken?"

"It's not the same!"

"How come?"

Marinette had her head in her hands again while leaning onto the window. My body was shaking with mixed emotions— anger, irritation...worry.

Even after we argue, I'd still have a part of me that would shut down when she'd cry. Not because she was upset about something, but because I caused it.

But she wasn't crying. She was just hiding her face so that I couldn't see her disappointment. She did not want me to see the disgust.

I was so used to disappointment throughout my life and now my identity had just broken the heart of the person I thought I loved most.

"I should leave," Marinette spoke monotonously.

She walked toward the door with a quiet, regal stride without looking at me. I winced at the ease at which she moved—as if what we had was just a fling, as if we were nothing.

My legs moved on their own, arm reaching out to her. The second my fingers made contact with her arm, she hit it back with so much force.

"Don't touch me!"

Don't touch me.

After all those nights, cuddling and holding her in my arms, did not happen. As if making love to her had only been a dream— or rather, a nightmare.

Don't touch me.

I stepped back and looked down, now officially hurt and shattered into pieces.

I didn't want to see if Marinette regretted it or if she wanted to shoot me with a traumatic glare so I just stared at the ground until she was gone.

***

How long had it been from the moment I had last seen her? Days...months? It felt like years. Did she go to school as per usual? I wouldn't know— I had pretended to be sick ever since Christmas because I just couldn't face her.

The only activities I did around the mansion were feeding Plagg his Camembert and finishing my homework, but even that was rare.

I didn't feel the need of truly doing anything anymore. After the Christmas Incident, I completely switched off my phone because I hated the idea of people asking 'What's wrong?' or 'When are you coming to school?'.

Plagg would try cheering me up sometimes, offering to share his Camembert or ask me about how I'm feeling.

I should not have been harsh to him at the time: he was only trying to help. To be honest, I kind of enjoyed the attention from my Kwami.

"This isn't healthy for you," Plagg would say.

"You should talk to her, Adrien."

"You should get out of bed, kid."

"Are you even gonna attempt to eat?"

A part of me felt sorry for Plagg for I could tell that he truly did care about me, one way or the other. But I couldn't help it: I did not feel the need to do talk to anyone, eat or get out of bed.

I wanted to sleep all night and day because things tend to fall apart when I wake up. Things like myself.

***

A few nights later, my father decided to come into my room. He switched on the lights and sat besides me on my bed.

It took me a while to wake up. It was quite late so I couldn't understand why he'd chosen that specific time. I didn't care, though. I looked up to my ceiling with no emotion showing on my face, waiting until he said what he needed to and leave.

He probably just wanted to talk about how I should 'act up' because modelling sessions are lagging behind schedule and all my piano or fencing lessons are useless now that I'm not managing my time correctly.

My dad waited for a minute before speaking, "You shouldn't be in bed this long."

I acted like he was not there, rubbing my arms almost as if to prove that I was ill.

"You're not fooling me, Adrien," he sighed, facing away from me, "There's something wrong and it's not because you're sick."

I continuously ignored him, hoping for him to get out of my room. The moment was getting awkward, Father fidgeting with his hands in a nervous matter.

Why was he acting so strange? Was he trying to have a father-son moment with me? Because that wasn't going to—

"I took a look at your healthcare files."

Then it hit me like freaking truck: healthcare provider. Lucille Bustier. STI testing.

"Shit," I gasped, earning a surprised look from my father.

To hell with that— he couldn't possibly judge me more than he did at that second so I might as well just screw everything up further.

I thought I wouldn't have to worry about the STI testing or my father. I wasn't expecting it to come barging back into my messed-up life.

"Are you going to explain to me why you needed to go to the clinic...?" Father asked hesitantly.

I could see that he didn't know what to do or say. He was so used to talking me down and shouting at me to be the person he expected me to be.

Now that he knew I went for testing, he looked at me like I wasn't the boy he raised— I was a stranger he couldn't figure out.

I felt a bit superior in that way, I guess. My father couldn't control a rebellious side of me because he had never experienced taming it before.

"It's not what it looks like," I explained in embarrassment, "I didn't have sex before taking the test and I don't have any diseases or anything—"

"Did you do it after you took the test?"

My mouth was glued shut before he gave me a frightening scowl, "Adrien Agreste, did you get a girl pregnant after you took the—"

"Are you serious?" I scoffed, "You actually think I'd be irresponsible enough to get someone pregnant?"

"I don't know what I think you'd be anymore."

I could not reply to that because I felt the same way about him. We just sat there in silence until he spoke again.

"Your mother acted this way... before she disappeared."

My eyes widened in realisation. That is why he was so worried. He did not want me to end up like my mother.

Nobody knows exactly what happened to her. Some people said she was captured, others said she ran away. The worst case scenario was that she died and my father just didn't want to tell me, but I did not dwell too far on the idea.

"I care about you Adrien," he said, "and I want to help you, but you make everything so difficult. If I had the power to bring back your mother, I would, but you're the only person I have now."

I did not expect him to say that. It shocked me for sure. He did not want to lose me, but seeing me act like this was heart-breaking for him too. I was even considering running away. I was so selfish— towards my father, Marinette, the whole of Paris! What had I been thinking?

I rested on my pillow again guiltily as my father watched my every move. I had never really been fair on Father; blaming him for Mom's disappearance and for not being there when I needed him most.

However, I knew that he cared about me and Mom. A complete Family had always been important to him.

"Her name's Marinette," I confessed, words tumbling off my tongue, "the girl who made that feathery hat after the Pigeon Incident. I had feelings for her..."

"You love her."

He wasn't questioning it, he stated it like he knew for certain.

"How do you know?" I asked, turning to him.

"The Christmas Feast," Father answered simply, "I saw the way you were looking at her. There's something much greater than friendship between you two. I would know."

He sadly frowned at a picture of my mom on my computer screen. Father really did love my mom and he changed a lot after she was gone. I could not help but wonder if he wanted the same love for me.

I didn't even acknowledge that my father had been observing me staring at Marinette whole Christmas night. He probably observed my every move each time he had the chance and I didn't even notice that a part of him cared at all.

"So what if I love her?" I confessed with folded arms, "So what if I laughed and had sex with her and cared for her with all my heart...?"

I shook my head, closing my eyes so that I wouldn't be able to see the judgemental look on his face.

"It doesn't matter anymore. She hates me."

Another moment of silence passed between us, except this time it wasn't awkward. It was almost like he needed the time to think about my situation and understand me better.

Did he feel sympathetic towards me? Was he judging me worse than I thought? Was he going to help me?

Father exhaled deeply and shrugged in a sarcastic manner, getting up from my bed, "That's a true shame. If only you could fix it."

I glared at the back of his grey head furiously. So much for 'fatherly' advice.

Father glanced at his watch and looked back towards the screen, "You're going to school tomorrow. That's official."

"I'm don't want to—"

"Your education is important and I'm not letting you mope on your bed because you think there's no hope for you and this girl who you so deeply love. Hiding from your problems will not get you anywhere. Frankly, I say you're being a coward."

I gaped at him in surprise because for the first time in my life, my father was giving me a speech that I could somewhat refer to as 'inspirational'.

"You are a model, pianist, fencer and my son— you're wasting all your potential on crying over what 'could have been'? I did not raise a coward in this house. Ignore her or go talk to her— that's your choice. But you're going to school either way."

He left the room so abruptly before I could break down into a heart-wrenching sob. Except this time, tears were not from feeling sorry for myself. It was tears of happiness.

For the first time in my life, my father came into my room to tell me what I wanted to hear and going through all the pain almost felt worth it.

***

I wiped my tears away and watched as Plagg dropped two, pink cards on my bed; one heart-shaped, the other rectangular. I distinctly knew that they were both from Marinette. It had been a while since I reread any of her cards.

Because I had nothing else better to do, I opened the rectangular one first. It was the reply she had sent through her trap door after the Copycat incident:

~|~|~|~

Kitty,

Before I read the letter you've just sent to me through my trap door, let me first say that I wanted to thank you personally for the previous letter you sent and I accidentally thanked Copycat instead. So it's not your fault, it was mine. I'm sorry for being a distraction for you and wanted to thank you for saving me again. And if your second letter is another apology note, I have already forgiven you.

To: Chat Noir
From: Marinette

~|~|~|~

I smiled to myself for a split second, reminding myself of the good memories. She wanted to thank me personally, but that got her in trouble.

Her heart was so sweet, precious and pure. The world didn't deserve her kindness— the world abused it. I learnt that the hard way after Théo captured her.

I tried comparing the actions to Ladybug, how she would always confront the victim after every akuma attack or how she would protect everyone— especially Chloe, even though all she did was make her life as Marinette miserable.

I opened the next heart-shaped letter that I was given on Valentines Day, as a reply from Ladybug about my own poem:

~|~|~|~

Your hair shines like the sun,
Your eyes are gorgeous green.
I look at you and wonder
Your innermost thoughts and dreams.
Yes, your Valentine I will be.
Our love will be so true.
Together for eternity,
My heart belongs to you.

~|~|~|~

I stared at the words in awe as I realized that the letter was exactly how I imagine Marinette to write it. She knew what my innermost thoughts and dreams were, our love had been so true and now, more than ever, I hope she'd give me another chance to hold her heart right.

I had kept believing the card was Ladybug when it had been my Princess all along. Suddenly, my own poem came rushing back to me:

Your hair as dark as night,
Your pretty blue bell eyes.
I wonder who you are
Beneath that strong disguise.

My Lady. My Princess. Mine.

The next thing I knew, I was jumping up from my bed and stuffing a pillow into my blankets.

Plagg cheered as I hurriedly ate and got dressed. The time was close to midnight, but I did not care. It was now or never.

I was going to school the next day anyway so I might as well be prepared. I yelled 'Claws Out' and Plagg willingly jumped into the ring before finishing his Camembert. Before I left, I noticed one more green card on my desk from the post office.

I hesitated for a moment, then rushed for an envelope and pen. I wanted to talk to her directly about us, but if she didn't want to face me then I would have a backup.

It took a long time to write what I needed to. I already had a brief message in my head. I placed the paper into a green envelope and leaped out of my window into the night.

It was a letter that started it all and it should be a letter that ended it.

***

I made my way to Gollieb Street where the bakery stood. The light in her room was on and I wondered why she would possibly still be awake that late at night. I climbed onto the balcony and held the letter nervously to my chest.

I could hear quiet voices from under the trap door and immediately felt nervous again. It must have been Marinette and her Kwami. After two minutes of getting over my cowardice, I strode to the trap door and knocked three times.

A few seconds of silence passed before I heard her voice: "Go away!"

I sighed in admiration as her angry, confused command resonated towards my cat-like ears. It had been too long since I last heard her voice. Too long since I last saw her.

I knocked three times again, waiting for her to open. I wanted her to know that I was willing to make it right again, to fix my mistakes and apologize. If she wasn't willing to do the same then I was going to knock continuously.

"Leave me alone."

I bit my lip, not knowing what to say. I didn't want to fight with her and I didn't want leave anything unsaid so I hovered my letter over her trap door hopefully and sighed, slipping it into her room.

~|~|~|~

A/N: Please comment and vote because I like speech bubbles and stars! 💬⭐️

19~~ Page Dent

[SPOILER: two chapters left]