She dug through the mud with her bare hands, but it pulled her deeper and deeper down since the day she gave her first cry in this world.

She fought, cried, and screamed in rage, but no matter how hard she tried, only ever made it worse.

She broke her nails, and her fingers bled. She broke her body, and her battered spirit shuddered with despair. Tired unto death, dirty, smeared, mud-caked, and forlorn, she finally realized the futility of it all and gave up.

She lay down, ready to let the mud take her. Staring up into the heavens, she noticed the stars for the first time.

"What a pretty sight to take to one's grave," she thought.

She fell asleep and, in her dreams, walked in green fields and peaceful pastures, never expecting to wake again, but did.

The sun shone brightly on her face. Somewhere birds tittered,

and sprinklers sprinkled.

"Why had the mud not claimed her?" She wondered, sitting painfully upright.

She glanced around, noticing a large mound of half-dried earth beside a mud pool and frowned.

To her right lay green pastures, and to her left, a peaceful landscape.

She'd been so busy struggling in the mud she never realized there was an entire world around her.

When she gave up, she had inadvertently settled on the edge of the hole she had created and found safe ground.

A shadow fell across her, and an odd calm settled in her soul.

"Why did you not just ask me to turn off the tap and save you from your toil?" a gentle voice asked.

"I thought it was just me, out here on my own, looking out for myself," she said.

"My dear child, who do you think fixed the leaks in the pipe and

kept the hole from flooding?" He asked.

"Why did you not pull me from the mud and make me see the truth?" she asked, almost angrily.

"You were not ready," He answered patiently.

"Why am I ready now?" she asked, half curious and half offended.

"You surrendered and admitted your strength was not enough," He answered.

"Come, your place at my table has been ready for a long time," He invited, holding out His hand.

"I am soiled and dirty," she protested, but when she looked down, she was all dressed in white. Clean from head to foot for the first time in her life.

"But I have to..." she protested, turning back toward the hole to find it gone.

"You never had to stand on your own or dig in the mud, I was always there," He said, and she followed him.

"Do not look back. Come, sit, eat, and be filled. Drink and never feel thirsty again," He invited.

She turned to find a table laden with a feast.

"Where are the other guests?" she asked.

"You are the only guest at this table, everything upon it comes from My Grace, and My Grace will be sufficient for each of your days," He promised, seating Himself at the head of the table.

She sat down, taking in the abundance before her.

"I've never had so much," she marvelled.

"It was always yours, my child," He corrected her.

"Why would you do this for me?" she asked.

"Because you are my child, and I love you," He said.

Tears leaked from her eyes, and when she finally looked at Him, no one was there.

"Where have You gone?" she asked, panicked.

"I am always Here. Speak, and I will answer," He promised, and she could almost see His Majesty.

"How can I repay You?" she asked.

"All your debts have been paid by my blood. Live, seek Me in all You do, and acknowledge that I am in control. Know that I am your God, who loves you abundantly. The rest will come to you, as My Spirit teaches you My ways."

"Where was Your Spirit when I dug in the mud?" she asked.

"Waiting for you to need Him," He answered.

This was partially a dream and partly a realization of the dream's meaning and interpretation.

If we don't write down the things we learn to return to it, we forget what God teaches us and cannot implement it in our lives. This lesson would have been lost if I had not written it down. Equally, I find the YouVersion prayer journal useful. As it integrates into your prayer time, God brings you back to conversations you already had and prayers you need to pray often.