A pounding at the front of his face beckoned him from the darkness, pulling him into the painful reality.

An internal battle raged on inside his mind. The sleeping figure next to him was fucking with his head, causing him to struggle with sleep and sanity.

The build up of thoughts and the toxins of last night caused them to make a reappearance and he wretched, clamping a hand over his mouth.

The sound triggered movement from beside him. Awsten's dual toned eyes grew wider. Hastily, he moved from the bed and dashed to the bathroom.

He made it just in time to see his regrets paint the inside of the toilet. Shaking and sobbing, Awsten dropped to the floor with his head in his hands. Fingertips gripped his hair, pulling out strands as he cried.

What did you do last night? You fucked everything up. Geoff's going to wake up and be disgusted. He's not gonna want you. No one will ever love you.

"Shut up!" The guttural scream ripped from his throat leaving his sore and scratchy.

Wiping his eyes, the young man crept back into his bedroom to search for a pair of jeans and a red sweatshirt. Once dressed he fled the house with only a note to explain his absence.

-

Waking up to empty sheets with a sickening headache wasn't unusual for the brunette. What was unusual however, was the note left on the pillow beside his head.

I'm sorry. I don't know when or if I'll be back. If you need me, call Otto.

Geoff pressed the heel of his hand against his left eye and groaned as pain exploded across the side of his face.

"I'm never drinking again." He muttered. The paper in his palm scrunched into a ball, dropping to the floor as he grip relaxed and the throbbing lulled him back to sleep.

-

Across town, a bleary eyed Otto looked up to greet a customer, only to be met by a tear stained, blue haired man.

Concern flooded Otto's face. "Hey, what's going on?" Instead of answering Awsten walked around the bar and broke down once more in his best friends arms.

Otto half dragged Awsten's dead weight into the back room and waited patiently until the sobbing had subsided.

The two sat in silence, letting the hum of the café outside the room create a calming atmosphere.

"I couldn't stay there." Puffy eyed, Awsten pulled his sleeves over his hands; his gaze stayed fixed to the floor. "Everything that happened last night became too much.

"What happened?" Otto's tone was soft with a hint of curiosity. He didn't want to pressure Awsten but couldn't say he wasn't intrigued.

"I went out, got drunk and went back. I somehow managed to get him drunk too and then I slept with him." The blue boy said. "And you did this without explaining your feelings?"

Awsten rolled his eyes. "Obviously. I don't think it would've happened if I had told him."

"How can you know that? You can't say anything until you know for sure." Otto pressed.

"I do know for sure! He's not into me at all. No one is." The harsh reality sank in, almost reducing him to tears once more.

"That's not true! The random note person is into you."

"Yeah? And who are they then? If they care about me so much why can't they tell me?" Otto bit his tongue to stop himself exposing the mysterious man. "Do they even have a letter for me today?"

Hesitantly Otto shook his head. "No...not today. But hey, maybe one will turn up later on." Awsten shook his head and laughed bitterly.

"No. I don't even know why I came here. You're useless. You've always had Grace, even she left me for you. Everyone leaves me." Awsten shook his head before walking away, slamming the back room door behind him.

In stunned silence, Otto sat miserably contemplating whether to follow him or not.

-

Geoff awoke once more to the sound of a slamming door. Startled, he rolled off the mattress. Clutching his head, the brunette slowly made his way downstairs to investigate.

In front of the door sat a shaking, sobbing, broken boy. The ache moved from Geoff's head to his heart. The love and pain he suddenly felt for his roomate was overwhelming.

All he wanted was to engulf Awsten in a love filled hug and tell him everything would be ok but he couldn't. He couldn't lie to him.

"Tell me it's ok." Awsten's voice was thick with tears and muffled by his knees yet Geoff heard him. "Tell me that I'm gonna go to sleep and wake up and everything will be ok."

The brunette didn't respond.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Awsten's laugh was bitter and broken.

Unable to take anymore Geoff half ran to the kitchen before breaking down himself. If he hadn't taken the bottle, if he hadn't kissed back then last night wouldn't of happened.

Tears fell hot and heavy down Geoff's face. He'd really fucked up. Awsten would never forgive him. It was all his fault.

But the feelings of the night before wouldn't leave. He was stuck with the feeling of bliss and ecstasy. Awsten's expressions and sounds lodged themselves in his mind. It's all he could see, all he could remember.

The feeling of the youngers lips on his, the emotions they shared were more than lust and passion. It was love and care. It wasn't the alcohol, it was them.

"How do I turn this off?" Awsten's small voice echoed down the hall. "My brain," he clarified. "It's too loud, too disruptive. It's killing me."

Slowly, Awsten uncoiled and stood up. Geoff closed his eyes as Awsten walked towards him, only knowing he was getting closer by the hauntingly beautiful sound of his voice.

"Pain is never permanent
But tonight it's killing me
I hope you get your ballroom floor
Your perfect house with the rose red door.
I'm the last thing you remember it's been a long lonely December.

I wish I'd known that less is more
When I was passed out on the floor.
That's the last I thing I remember it's been a long lonely December."