"I need a fucking life." The young man sighed and flopped onto the sofa, half-eaten pizza slice in hand.

"Goddamn. Can't I just...you know what, for once I want to be able to open a pizza box, have two slices and then put it away."

"Miaow."

"Thought so."

Awsten nudged the empty box with his shoe. He pushed it to the edge of the coffee table where it balanced precariously momentarily before tipping fully.

"Mood." Awsten mumbled at the lifeless box. Jet jumped off the sofa onto the table knocking over a black photo frame. It landed with a thud, smashing on the floor.

"Jet!" Awsten shouted, although he was too weak to move and pick it up. It was the only picture they had of Gee. He had passed away a year ago after running out into the road.

Wiping away a single tear, Awsten mustered up as much energy as possible to move forwards and grab the remote. Remote and pizza in hand, Awsten slumped against his knees and loosened his grip. Both the remote and pepperoni covered bread fell to the floor as Awsten's eyelids grew heavy.

A loud bang from the hallway startled him but it didn't push him to move. Awsten stayed hunched over, gently lulling himself to sleep.

The purple haired man stayed still as his husband trudged over to him and helped him sit up. "Come on babe, it's ok."

Awsten relaxed into his husband's arms. "You're always so tired sweetheart," Geoff murmered pushing a lock of violet hair behind Awsten's ear. "What's going on?"

"I'm just so damn tired," Awsten slurred, drunk on lack of sleep. "I don't know why. I think I need to lie down."

"Yeah, I agree. Come on Aws." Geoff rolled Awsten gently into his arms and carried him bridal style upstairs, ignoring the large tomato stain on the carpet. Geoff placed Awsten onto their bed; smiling as Awsten snuggled sleepily into his arms.

"Love you Awsie." Geoff pressed soft kisses all over the youngers face as he fell asleep.

Covered in sweat and breathless, Awsten fell with a bang to the floor. "What the fuck." He whispered, drawing his knees up to his chin. That was too real, too soon and too scary.

"Awsten! Are you ok? What happened?" A flustered and very tired Geoff burst through the door. Awsten cowered away from him and hid his face in his hands.

The brunette sighed and moved towards his trembling friend, huddled on the floor. Moving Awsten's hands away, blue eyes searched dual toned irises for a sign, anything, to tell him Awsten was ok.

"I'm ok Gee." Awsten's mouth said. That was good enough for Geoff. He nodded and sleepily trudged back to his room, promptly going back into hibernation.

Once Awsten was sure Geoff was asleep and could snoring through the wall (seriously, he should probably get that checked out) the blue boy called the one person he trusted.

Across town Otto was awoken by a harsh buzzing sound. Beside him Grace growled softly.

"Hello?" He asked wearily.

"Otto. I need your help." Awsten sounded desperate and helpless. "Can't you just wake up Geoff?" Otto slipped out of bed, carefully so he didn't wake Grace, and downstairs.

"I can't talk to him about this." His friend admitted. Otto raised an almost perfect eyebrow. That was a shock. Awsten told Geoff everything, sometimes too much. He was definitely an oversharer.

"Oh shit. Ok what's going on man?" Otto's tone completely changed, suddenly serious.

"I think I like Geoff." Awsten blurted out. He clamped his and over his mouth and pushed back oncoming tears. "Holy crap," Otto breathed. "What the fuck happened?"

"I had a really scary dream- no hear me out," Awsten said after Otto snorted. "I...I was tired all the time, I had eaten a shit ton of pizza, Gee was fucking dead and I had purple fucking hair!" Awsten whisper yelled so he didn't wake Geoff.

"Wait, what does this have to do with you liking Geoff?" The brunette asked, rubbing his face tiredly.

"We were married." The blue haired boy whimpered. The tears he tried to hold back broke past the barrier, cascading down his face. Once muffled sobs turned to ugly gulps.

"Awsten, dude you gotta calm down. It was just a dream. It didn't happen, you're not married, your hair is still blue and Gee's still alive." Otto knew his words weren't helping but he was already on his way out the house and making his way to the car.

"I'm not fucking gay Otto, I'm not a fa-"

"You say that word and I will cut off your balls and ram them down your throat." Otto warned. "Ok, it's chill," Awsten held up a hand in surrender even though Otto couldn't see. "I know Geoff's gay but I'm really not. I don't even like Geoff in any way other than a friend."

"How do you feel about Geoff?" His friend asked, balancing his phone on his shoulder as he drove.

"I like how he calms me down when I have panic attacks. I like how he makes me laugh whenever he feels I need it. I like how he smiles and laughs at my shitty ass jokes. I like how he's always there for me. I like how he makes me my favourite food and how he makes me coffee in the morning and how he buys me my favourite juice and how he always helps me take pictures and we practice guitar together and he teaches me and he mak- Oh my God I like him."

Realization didn't just hit Awsten, it fully sucker-punched him, kicked him in the balls and practically forced his organs out of his face until blood was dripping from his decaying carcass.

"I'm almost there." Otto told him unaware of the pain and thoughts Awsten was going through. "Good because I don't know how much longer I can hold on." Black spots were dancing in front of his vision. His breathing was getting shallower and his airways felt compressed.

Awsten tried to get off the floor and onto the bed so if he passed out he wouldn't hit his head.

"Otto...hurry."

"Ok I'm here but the door's locked. I left my spare at home." Otto panicked.

"Under the plant pot." Awsten gasped, clutching his chest and attempting to regulate his breathing. He knew it was clíche but they didn't have time for that.

"Really? Dude your plant's, like, dying. Do you water it?" Otto questioned as he lifted the pot.

"No...it's supposed to...to rain." Awsten was struggling but he was trying.

Otto stood up, key in hand, and struck a pose. "Are you serious? Bro we live in Houston. Do you actually think it rains?"

"Ok I'm coming to see how that's a problem now but please hurry, I can't really breathe and I promise you my feelings aren't getting any goddamn weaker." Awsten almost yelled. Otto nodded and inserted the key into the lock.

"It's not working Aws."

"You gotta...jiggle it a bit."

After much jiggling and cursing, the lock clicked and the door swung open. He kept Awsten on the phone, running upstairs as fast as possible without causing too much noise or blacking out from lack of sleep - he just kinda tiptoed.

The scene that greeted Otto when he entered the room broke his heart. Awsten seemed like a shell of a man. He seemed to fold in on himself, like a hermit.

Otto felt nothing but sympathy for Awsten. He couldn't relate in anyway because Grace had always been there, in fact, Grace had been with Awsten first. Their friendship had been paused for some time while Awsten got over the feeling of betrayal and mistrust.

Walking over to the bed, Otto edged around the mound of clothes to reach the shaking blue boy.

Once by the bed, Otto gently lay down next to the quivering mess. He shifted uncomfortably but refused to move. Awsten was upset, and besides, he could do with a deep stretch.

A calm fell over them, only Awsten's quiet snuffles were audible; outside rain started tapping on the window. The brunette winced and shuffled so he was properly on the mattress.

"I've been thinking about this since I called you," Awsten broke the almost silence. "And I've come to a conclusion.

Intrigued, Otto sat up and gave Awsten his full attention. "And?"

"And...I like Geoff." Silence descended. Otto's jaw dropped. "Don't look at me like that, Otter, purple hair sounds cool too and looks good on me actually." Awsten cracked a small smile.

It was the first change of emotion in Awsten all evening. He felt slightly surprised by the movement on his face but he soon settled into it. It felt more and more natural the more he admitted his true feelings.

"I like Geoff," he whispered under his breath. "I like Geoff. I. Like. Geoff."

"Yeah, I know. You gonna go to sleep or what?" Otto asked, exasperated.

Awsten shot him a dirty look. "Seriously dude?" He tucked his legs under his butt and faced Otto, leaning in close. "I literally just told you that I like my best friend that is asleep next door," he emphasised his point by shakily pointing at finger at the wall separating the two rooms. "And you want to sleep? Are you fucking kidding me?"

"If you keep shouting then you'll wake up Geoff and nobody wants a grumpy Geoff."

"Good point." The older of the two bit his lip. "Ok, actually, sleep sounds good." Slipping under the covers, Awsten snuggled into his pillow and sighed. Otto propped himself up on his elbow beside him.

"You want me to play something to help you sl..." Otto stopped himself as Awsten's soft, sleepy snuffles floated around the room.

-

"You've gotta go, come on. Shoo." Awsten flapped his hands at Otto, ushering him out the door. "Bitch did you just shoo me?" Otto threw his head back and laughed. Wide eyed Awsten clamped a hand over Otto's mouth. "Shut the fuck up and get out." He hissed.

Loud clunky footsteps could be heard above them. "Ok you've really gotta go."

"Don't I get a thank you?"

"Thank you I love you goodbye." The words tumbled from his mouth.

"Better."

"Fuck off."

"Tell him!" Otto called as the door slammed shut behind him. "Was that Otto?" Awsten spun round and pressed himself up against the door, avoiding eye contact with his roomate who had appeared at the bottom of the stairs.

"Oh...uh...no. No it was just a delivery person...thing." Awsten stuttered.

"What was he delivering?"

"Wrong address."

"Ok. Well do you want some lun-"

"Uh you know what?" Awsten interrupted. "That might have been for us. I'm gonna go see if I can catch him." He twisted the handle and flung himself out the house, landing in the still cloudy atmosphere. It felt damp and sad, just like his mood.

"I need a drink." The blue boy muttered.

-

A bottle of gin later and Awsten was struggling to find his house. He knew it had a door...and a car, but which one?

"Aws? Jesus christ, it's literally two in the afternoon." Blurry features floated in front of his face. Two arms held him up and walked him up to the house. Awsten giggled and patted the moving face.

"You're so pretty." Awsten laughed, dragging out the vowels. "You're so drunk." Geoff mimicked, dragging the floppy man over to the sofa.

"You're not drunk enough," Awsten frowned, lifting the second bottle up to the brunette. "Drink this and shut up. I don't ever drink and this is fun. Join me in the feeling of being free." 

Sceptical but wanting to relax, Geoff pushed past the conflicting thoughts and unscrewed the cap, tipping the glass back and allowing the burning liquid to slide down his throat.

Geoff had skipped breakfast due to being awake at night so not a lot of food was in his system. The alcohol hit the bottom of his empty stomach, entering his blood stream much faster than usual.

With a push, courtesy of alcohol, Awsten leant in and pressed his lips to Geoff's. Taken aback the brunette didn't kiss back straight away. The younger moved closer to Geoff and wrapped his arms around his neck. This prompted Geoff to move.

Their lips fused together and moved in sync; their tongues danced together, intertwining with each other.

Clothes were thrown to the floor and trailed from the sofa and up the stairs to Geoff's bedroom where the two lay, memorizing every inch of each other.

Hands roamed over bare skin, feeling every scar, every perfect imperfection. Soft kisses were dropped and purple flowers bloomed on pale skin. Trust overtook lust and noises of consent were enough to push the other to continue.

Moans soon filled the room as they moved in time, glistening with sweat and filled with pleasure. Sheets were gripped tightly between trembling fingers and fingernails scratched down flesh, hard enough to draw blood.

The warm pit rose in Awsten's stomach and with a loud cry he exploded in pure ecstasy. He lay almost motionless as Geoff rode out his own high, kissing the man beneath him softly.

Panting and gasping, both man revelled in the taste and feel of each other, letting the feeling wash over them.

Geoff pulled the cover of both of them. Holding Awsten in his arms, safe and content, was how Geoff fell asleep, dreaming of a world where Awsten was always his.