+two chapters yea! are you proud of me now mummies (the gif tho)

Jisoo's point of view

__________________________________

I sighed as I threw my gaze on the floor. I put my elbows on my knees and rested my face on both of my palms.

My mind went back to the incident that happened between me and Yeeun last few weeks.

-

"... and here I thought that.. we are bestfriends.."

"You should believe me. I'm your bestfriend. You should give me a chance.."

"Goodbye, Hong Jisoo. Thank you for everything.. you have done so much for me since we were kids. I do appreciated it. I missed it.. so much. Thank you.."

-

I frustratedly grabbed my hair tightly as I shut my eyes closed, trying to processing my mind. The same words that Yeeun said towards me, keep lingering nonstop, for few days now.

Yeeun-ah...

I was about to tear up but I quickly shook my head, avoiding myself from shedding any tears. I sighed again as I tried my very best to not think about Yeeun anymore but as I thought, I cant do something that impossible for me.

After a few minutes of debating with myself, I finally got up and walked out from my room. I walked downstairs, toward the kitchen where I saw Mom was preparing a breakfast for us.

I smiled as I greeted Mom, "Morning, mom."

Mom looked over her shoulder and spared me a cold glance before bring her focus back to her work. My smiled faded away when I received such a cold response from my own mother.

I sighed for the nth times already as I pulled a chair and took a seat on it while eyes sadly pinned on Mom's back figure.

The reason why Mom acted like this toward me was because of Sojin's case. I clearly remembered Mom's rejection on letting Sojin stay with us but I didnt listen to her and stick with my decision to let Sojin live here together with us. Mom was upset, very. I felt really guilty for not listening to her but what else can I do, Ive promised Sojin to take care of her and I'm not someone who just make empty promises.

I saw Mom was arranging some plates on the table, right in front of me. She then grabbed the pancakes that she cooked and put it nicely on the center of the table. I just silently watched Mom as she just gave me the silent-treat.

Mom suddenly took of her apron and took a seat right across me. My eyes widen while looked at her. I thought shes not gonna eat breakfast with me, like usual.

Mom surprised me more as she suddenly pick up one of the pancakes with a spoon and put it on my plate. I glanced at the pancake that already there on my plate, then back on staring at Mom's expressionless face.

"Hurry and eat or you will get sick for not eating breakfast.", Mom finally spoke up while blankly looked at me.

My eyes softened as I looked at her. Eventho, she still giving me the cold-shoulder, but I'm so happy as she still cared for me.

I quickly nodded with a bright smile plastered on my face as I started digging the pancake deliciously. I dont know if it was just a hallucination or what, but I swear to god, I just saw Mom smiled a bit right after I started eating.

My smiled got bigger as I continued digging the food.

"Oh, by the way Mom, wheres Sojin?", I boldly asked while eating.

Mom didnt reply and that made me looked up from my plate. I gulped as I saw Mom's unsatisfied look and that was when I thought, ah... I just ruined the good moment.

Mom suddenly got up and walked toward the sink as she then started making herself busy with the dirty dishes in the sink.

I sighed as I got the cold-shoulder treatment from my own mother, again.

I then started eating again but with no smile appear on my face and got no appetite anymore as I kept poking the food with my spoon, lazily.

I sighed as I thought,.. why do everyone that I love keep going further away from me...

And again, no answers.

•••••

I went upstairs right after I'm done with the amazingly quiet breakfast. I walked into my room and closed the door behind me with a sigh.

I just realised that Ive been sighing a lot lately. This is tiring..

I plopped on my comfy bed as I reached for my phone that being put at the edge of the bed. I unlocked it and surprisingly I got tons of missed calls and most of it, were from Hoshi.

I scrunched my nose as I confusedly thought, why did Hoshi called me for like fifty-three times..?

When I was about to call Hoshi back, suddenly a familiar contact name appeared on the screen and I quickly answered the call.

"Hello?", I spoke on the line.

"Joshua! Help me!", Sojin suddenly said on the line.

"Hello?? Sojin? Are you alright?! Where have you been??", I worriedly asked as I didnt see her for the whole day.

"Please.. come and pick me up at the nearby park. I'm scared.", Sojin said as I could hear ruffles sounds on the line.

"Okay okay. Stay there!", I replied and quickly hang up.

I got up and grabbed a jacket as I ran downstairs, panicked. I ran toward the door and wore my black converse hurriedly.

"Jisoo-ah..? Whats wrong? Where are you going?", Mom's voice suddenly approached from behind and it startled me a bit.

I turned around and gave her a small smile before answered, "I need to go somewhere. I'll leave first, Mom!"

I bid her a goodbye and quickly walked out from the house, not bothering to hear Mom's next response.

I ran in a full speed towards the nearby park.

When I arrived there, I immediately searched for Sojin while shouted, "Sojin?? Where are you??"

I nervously walked around the park as I still didnt see any hint of Sojin being in the park. When I was about to walk further, suddenly a pair of hands approached me and covered my both eyes from behind.

"Who the f-", I was about to cursed out of surprised but stopped when I suddenly heard a familiar giggles.

"Guess who~", the person chimed with her faking voice and giggled quietly behind me.

I let out a sigh of relief. But then my face scrunched up.

"Sojin, what do you think you're doing?", I spoke up with cold voice while she still covering my eyes.

Sojin noticed the cold tone in my voice then she slowly let her hands down. She then stood in front of me with a guilty smile.

"Youre mad?", Sojin asked as she fiddled with her fingers while looked at me.

I sighed again then blankly looked at her, "I thought you were in danger and I ran here to find you but it was a prank. You know this wasnt funny at all right?"

Sojin sighed as she slowly shook her head in guilty. I sighed for the nth times already for the day as I walked pass her and took a seat on a near bench. Sojin followed me and also took a seat right beside me.

I ignored her presence for awhile as I leaned back on the bench and looked up into the wide blue sky. I closed my eyes and payed attention to my surrounding. The sun brightness made me feel the spring's warm. The birds chirping made my problems all swayed, gone for a moment.

Oh god, I miss Yeeun so damn much..

I opened my eyes and looked in front as I remembered about old memories of me and Yeeun when we were still a kid. I remembered very well that this park was where we always spent our times playing together. Our moms would always chatting on a bench while both of me and Yeeun would be very naughty to disturb their every conversations. Mom would always scolded me and Yeeun but both of us just laughed it off as we were running around the park happily. I remembered how cute we were together before. I remembered how close we were before.

"This park is beautiful and very nice.", Sojin suddenly spoke up while smiling as she also looked around the park.

I nodded while smiling brightly, "I know right."

I smiled even brighter when I could actually imagined the little Yeeun ran around the park with her bright smile and looked extremely happy, with no worries.

"Yeeun and I used to play here often when we were kids.", I mumbled while still smiling.

"Geez, this really brings back memories.", I said again as I leaned back and wandered my eyes all around the park.

Suddenly, I kinda heard Sojin scoffed right beside me, so I turned my attention toward her but all I saw was her calm figure and her eyes that tightly closed.

I just shrugged as I thought maybe it was just my imagination.

Then, Sojin suddenly got up and said, "Lets go get some ice cream."

I furrowed my eyebrows at her sudden request but I just nodded and also got up. She smiled and was about to link her arm with mine but I quickly walked ahead as I said, "Lets go."

I silently sigh as I still couldnt forget about last incident where she kissed me so sudden, infront of Yeeun and that American-look guy.

It made me boiled up in anger for two reasons. Firstly, because Sojin suddenly kissed me which I clearly dont like it, not even a bit. Obviously, because shes just my friend. I repeat, my friend. That was already a second times as she did the same before, in front of my house and I clearly warned her to not do that again. Then, after that incident, Ive been kinda ignored Sojin but still looking out for her, because Ive promised her.

And for the second reason is.. because of that American-look guy. Seriously, who was that guy? foreigner? or maybe a friend? Anyway, why was Yeeun with him in the first place?

Sojin let out a sigh and she quickly recollect herself back again as she already walked in the same speed as me.

I just stayed silent while already walking along the street. Both of us just stayed silent as none of us trying to break the awkward silent.

"Josh! There!", Sojin suddenly shouted excitedly and pulled my arm toward an ice cream store that a few feet away from us.

When we arrived in front of the store, Sojin quickly ordered her favorite ice cream then gave me a glance.

"You dont want?", Sojin asked as she pointed at the various flavors of ice cream.

When I was about to answer her, suddenly the owner of the store interrupted us and said, "Ah! Jisoo-ah~ Its been a long time!"

I gave a wide smile toward the familiar woman and nodded, "I know right, aunt Park. Its nice to see you again."

Aunt Park nodded her head gladly then looked around me weirdly before asked, "Uh? Wheres Yeeun? Shes not here with you?"

My heart fell at her words but still maintaining my smile as I replied, "Shes um not here."

Aunt Park confusedly look at me as she asked again, "Thats weird. You guys were always together before."

I sadly smiled and was about to answer her but failed as Sojin suddenly interrupted our conversation.

"Hey, can you please hurry up?!", Sojin rudely said as she gave Aunt Park an annoyed look.

"Ohmy- I-I'm sorry, miss. H-Here-", Aunt Park quickly gave Sojin's order and apologized before Sojin immediately yanked the ice cream away from the old woman's hand.

I gave an unsatisfied look toward Sojin as what she just did was really impropriate.

"Lets go!", Sojin said after slammed her money in front of Aunt Park then pulled my arm away from the store.

I was about to bid goodbye toward Aunt Park but failed as both of me and Sojin already walked away from the store.

"Sojin! Whats wrong with you?? You know I was still talking with her right!", I scolded her as I pulled my arm away from her grip.

She was startled with my sudden anger. Then she looked down before let out a sigh.

She looked up at me and gave me a faint smile, "I-Its nothing.. I just- um tired. I'm sorry, Joshua."

I sighed as I stared down at her. From my view, she really do look tired.

"Fine. But please, do not do that ever again. Its rude, you know that.", I said as I put my hands in my jeans pockets.

Sojin lightly nodded as a reply. I also nodded before took a look around and looked back at her.

"Do you perhaps, want to go home?", I asked as I just thought maybe she need some rest.

She shook her head eagerly before muttered, "I dont want to go home yet.."

I sighed then nodded, understand.

"Then, lets just take a walk around.", I exclaimed then started walking, followed by Sojin from behind.

I slowed down as I let Sojin matched my steps, so that both of us could walk side by side.

I turned to look at her and I saw she was smiling while looked down. I just turned back to the front, as I thought maybe she was thinking of something happy.

I spotted a clothing shop then I turned to look back at Sojin and asked, "Sojin, do you maybe want to shop some clothes?"

Sojin confusedly look at me as she asked, "Why?"

I just shrugged then said, "I just thought maybe you need more clothes since we didnt properly packed your stuff well before coming to Korea."

Sojin then excitedly nodded and already ran into the shop. I just chuckled while shook my head in disbelief. I know the fact very well that her main hobby is shopping.

Then, I also walked into the shop and just wandered my eyes around the shop. I examined all the woman clothes, silently.

Suddenly, Sojin approached me with a light pink dress with light blue flowers on the end of the sleeves.

Its Yeeun favorite style..

"Josh, this dress is cute right?", Sojin asked as she showed me the dress with a grin.

I just blankly stared at the dress as my mind already drifted away to, no one know to.

Yeeun will look really beautiful if she wears this..

"Josh?"

I could imagine Yeeun wears this dress and I bet she will smile really bright if she gets to wear this..

"Joshua!", Sojin shouted for me and it finally made me woke up from my daydream as my eyes widen while looked at her.

She already has a pissed off expression on.

"I-I'm sorry.. I just wondering t-that maybe Yeeun will look good in that dress..", I mumbled while eyes still staring at the light pink dress.

I got startled when Sojin suddenly threw the dress away, on the ground. I weirdly looked at her and asked, "Sojin whats wrong-"

"The fuck Joshua?! Can you please stop talking about her?!", Sojin suddenly exploded as she looked really angry.

My eyebrows furrowed at her sudden action. I quickly picked up the dress that she threw earlier and put it back on the rack beside me.

Then, I quickly pulled her arm and dragged her out from the shop as there were many people gave us a strange looks.

When we were already out from the shop, I quickly let her arm go and gave her a question look, "Seriously, Sojin. What the heck is wrong with you today??"

She huffed when she heard me then said while crossed her arms on her chest, "Hah, now you want to blame it all on me. Its all your fault Josh!"

I strangely looked at her as I really dont get what was she trying to said.

"Why was it my fault??", I asked in high tone as I really couldnt stand with her attitude anymore.

She scoffed then glared at me before shouted, "It is your fault! You kept talking about Yeeun here, Yeeun there! Everything is just Yeeun!!"

I blinked twice as I tried to recall everything that going around today and she was right. I do keep thinking about Yeeun all day..

But then, my face scrunched up in unsatisfied look.

"So what? I dont see any problem with that. God, Sojin. Its not like you dont know what feeling I have for Yeeun-", I was about to explain but then Sojin cut off my words.

"Fuck, cant you see, Joshua?! Shes fucking a bitch-"

"SOJIN!", I also exploded when I heard what Sojin said about Yeeun.

"What? Its the truth!", Sojin backed up herself.

I let out a frustrated groan as I combed my hair back with my fingers and muttered lowly, "Enough. Lets just go back home."

"No! I dont want to!", Sojin screamed and crossed her arms while turned away.

People that passing us keep giving us weird looks.

I frowned then frustratedly said while grabbed her arm, "Sojin, stop it. Lets go."

"I said I dont want to!! Cant you understand?!", Sojin shouted out loud again and smacked my hand away from hers.

I groaned and quickly grabbed her arm again and dragged her away from the public street.

Sojin struggled in my grip as she tried to free herself from me.

We arrived near the park back again and when I was about to take a turn on the left, suddenly Sojin successfully freed herself from me.

"I said I dont want to go home!!", Sojin shouted and scooted away from me.

I glared at her and grabbed her arm again.

"Let me go!", Sojin said out loud and yanked her hand away from mine.

I immediately turned around with a horror look and without any control, I already swung my hand up, in the air but stopped when Sojin suddenly screamed.

"What now?! You also want to slap me after you have slapped Yeeun?!", Sojin said and gave me a dead yet terrified glare.

My face fell afterwards. What she said really hit me, deep down in my heart. I slowly put my hand down as I just realised with my unmannered action.

Sojin's words really stabbed me hard.

Oh god... what have I done..

"Is slapping her is what you called a love?! You got to be kidding me!", Sojin said as she gritted her teeth in annoyance.

I frustratedly grabbed my hair as I muttered while looked down on my shoes, "Shut up..."

what have I done to Yeeun... what have I done toward her... what have I done..

"Well, she deserved that after what she did to me.", Sojin exclaimed while smirked.

I quickly shook my head while grabbed my hair tighter than before, "No.. s-shut up.."

Sojin scoffed and said proudly, "Well. shes a bitch thats why-"

"SHUT UP! YEEUN IS NOT LIKE THAT!", I screamed loudly and gave her a dead glare as my eyes fired in anger at her last words.

Sojin flinched and slowly scooted away from me. She bit her lip trying so hard, to not let the tears in her eyes fall.

"Fine.", Sojin said with cracked voice as she already broke into tears.

She then quickly walked pass me and ran away. A guilty feeling immediately reached me as I just realised my mistake.

"W-Wait-", I was about to call out for her but failed as she already disappeared from my sight.

I sighed and took a seat on a bench, near me.

"All of this is a mess..", I mumbled while covered my face with both of my palms that I rested it on my thighs.

I shouldnt do what I did toward Yeeun... and I also shouldnt throw all my anger on Sojin too..

"What have I done..", I mumbled while leaned back on the bench and sighed again.

How I wish I could turn back time..

•••••

"I'm home..", I said in weak voice as I took of my converse and walked into the living room.

I spotted Mom in the living room. She was watching some movie on the television.

I walked toward her and asked tiredly, "Mom.. has Sojin come back?"

Mom just lazily nodded her head as an answer of my question.

I nodded then slowly walked upstairs. I walked pass my room and walked toward the guest room, where Sojin was staying.

I stood in front of the room and let out a sigh as I slowly knocked the door.

"Sojin?", I called for her but got no reply.

I knocked again but still no answer.

I carefully spun the doorknob and took a peek into the room. But surprisingly, theres no hint of Sojin. I sighed as I closed the door back.

I turned around and walked downstairs. I approached Mom again and carefully asked, "Mom, do you perhaps know where Sojin is?"

Mom gave me a strange look. Then she just shrugged while turned her attention back toward the television before said, "I think I saw she went outside before with a some kind box, I dont know. But maybe shes not going anywhere as she is already in her pajamas."

I gave Mom a confused look but then just nodded as Mom already back into the movie.

"Jisoo-ah.", Mom suddenly called for me.

I turned to look back at her.

"You know that I really dont like that girl, right?", Mom suddenly confessed.

I gulped as I know that she was talking about Sojin.

I sighed then said, "Mom, Sojin is not like what you think."

Mom let out a sigh then just shrugged before turned her attention back into the television and said, "Fine, son. But I just hope for one thing."

I gave Mom a questioned look as I waited for her next words.

"I hope you can find the true crystal behind the shattered glasses.", Mom said before fully payed attention toward the movie.

I blinked thrice as I tried to figure out what was Mom trying to said but failed. I sighed and just shrugged it off.

I slowly walked out from the house and searched for Sojin.

"Sojin?", I called out while I searched around the house as Mom said that she couldnt be somewhere far with her pajamas.

I walked toward the back of the house and thankfully, I spotted her.

"Sojin-", I was about to call her but stopped as she surprised with my presence and quickly hid something behind her.

I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked down at a small bin beside her legs. There also a box that full with papers, right beside the bin. I saw she was burning something inside the bin.

"Sojin? What are you doing?", I asked as I walked toward her with confused expression. My eyes were still on the small bin that got burned paper in it and small fire could still be seen in the bin.

"U-Uh? N-No-Nothing..", Sojin stuttered and that made my curiosity grew even bigger than before.

When I arrived exactly in front of her, I saw she was gripping some papers tightly in her hands that were behind her.

"Whats that?", I asked as I pointed behind her.

She nervously shook her head and said, "W-What? No-Nothing.."

I weirdly looked at her as I know that she was lying.

"Youre lying.", I said as I looked straight at her. She look really scared and that made me feel something was really wrong with her behavior.

She shook her head and quickly turned her head away, avoided any eyes contact with me, "I-I told you, it's nothing."

I looked down at the burned papers and looked back at her. Suddenly, a really bad feeling flood into me.

"Sojin. Be honest. Whats that?", I asked again but this time, theres a force tone in my voice.

Sojin flustered and she quickly shook her head again. She then suddenly wanted to escape from me as she quickly walked pass me but failed to when I immediately grabbed her arm.

She look really surprised and nervously said, "Joshua! L-Let me go!"

I ignored her whines and quickly stole the papers that were in her hand, away. Sojin was surprised with my action and wanted to grabbed the papers away from me, "Joshua!! give that back!!"

I quickly held the papers up above my head and said while looked at the papers, "Whats so important about this paper-"

My words automatically stuck in my throat as I saw a really really familiar name on one of the papers.

I quickly backed away from Sojin and let my hand down as I stared at the papers. Sojin noticed the sudden silent from me, so she slowly backed away as she bit her lip in fear.

I ignored Sojin as I silently stared at the papers in confused.

"W-What..", I mumbled as I pick out the paper that has the familiar name on it.

It wrote, Han Yeeun.

I quickly opened the paper and shocked when I found out that it was actually a letter. It was a letter from Yeeun.

I slowly read the letter and slowly tears started appearing in my eyes.

I quickly opened the other one and another one and then, started reading the rest of the letters, one by one.

And slowly, the truth also came out as I read a letter that said about the incident in the party.

It wasnt Yeeun's fault.. not at all..

Oh god.. what have I done to Yeeun.. what have I done toward the person that I love and care so much..

I clenched my hands into fist, tightly.

"W-Why... w-why are all these letters in your hands...", I asked as I slowly looked up at Sojin while tears still there in my eyes.

"J-Joshua-"

"WHY THE FUCK ARE ALL THESE LETTERS IN YOUR HANDS SOJIN?!", I shouted like a mad person as my eyes pierced on Sojin fear face.

I suddenly remembered about the burned papers earlier. I then quickly ran toward the small bin and turned the bin upside down as there remain papers were still burning on fire.

I ignored the burning fire as I quickly grabbed the letters as I dont care about the pain that I got after my hand touched the fire.

"Joshua, dont!", Sojin shouted as she was surprised with my action.

I quickly took off my jacket and damped it on the burning letters. I stomped on the jacket to let the fire cool down.

I immediately bent down on my knees as I threw my half burned jacket away and slowly picked up the remain letters.

"N-No.. no..", I mumbled while tears started flowing down on my cheeks when I saw Yeeun's letter already half burned.

I wiped the dust away and tears falling crazily when I saw I couldnt read anything, nothing. No words could be seen anymore. None of it. Everything got burned.

"N-No... w-why.. n-no...", I put the half burned letters on the ground and stared at it, as if asking for Yeeun's beautiful handwriting to appear back again on the half burned letters.

I let my tears fell down on the letters. I was crying really bad while my red eyes staring down at the burned letters.

Then, I immediately stood up and turned to look at Sojin, that already froze in her spot.

"W-Why are you doing this, Sojin..?", I asked in tears as I looked at her with pain expression.

"J-Joshua.. I-I..", Sojin stuttered as she looked at me in fear.

"What have I done to you that you could do something like this towards me... w-what have I done to you Sojin..", I said in cracked voice as I started to bursted into a loud tears right infront of her.

"D-Did you know.. f-for how long I have been waiting for Yeeun's letters?? I-Ive been wondering why.. w-why did she suddenly stopped sending me letters.. I-Ive been wondering... i-is it because shes already tired of waiting..? is it because she.. s-she dont want to wait anymore..", I mumbled while still crying as I recalled how much pain I had to went through for the past months of waiting for Yeeun's letters.

Sojin sadly watched my broken state as she was speechless.

I clenched the letters tightly in my hands as I continued, "I-I'm so afraid... I lived in fear when I thought of the possible that Yeeun will maybe forget about me.. I'm afraid that.. s-she will finally find someone better than me.. y-you know how suffered am I waiting for all these letters..."

I quickly wiped my tears and looked up at Sojin in horror look. My eyes were piercing on hers.

"What the fuck have I done to you?! Fucking tell me, Sojin! You know how much I've sacrificed for you and left Yeeun for you?! Why the fuck are you doing this?!", I screamed in anger as I approached Sojin and tightly held her shoulders.

Sojin looked into my eyes in tears and also feared, "J-Joshua.."

"P-Please tell me this isnt true..", I mumbled while sadly looked into her eyes.

Sojin also broke into tears as she only could bit her lip in guilty.

I looked down while tightly held her shoulders and let the my tears fell on the ground, "Tell me this isnt true.."

"Please...", I pleaded and threw my ego and pride as a man away as I already broke into a silent tears.

"I-I'm sorry.. I'm sorry, J-Joshua..", Sojin muttered as she already sobbed in tears.

I bit my lip when I heard Sojin's words.

I weakly let her go and mumbled, "Go. Go away."

Sojin shook her head and was about to approach me but I quickly gave her a stern look and said, "Go away!"

"J-Joshua..", Sojin said as she still trying to grab my attention.

"I SAID FUCK OFF!", I shouted while glared at her and breathing uncontrollably as I couldnt hold my anger any longer.

Sojin flinched with my words as she slowly backed away, step by step. Then, she quickly turned around and left the place afterwards.

I let out a sigh as tears still streaming down on my cheeks, uncontrollably. I weakly walked towards Yeeun's half burned letters and bent down in the ground, right in front of the letters.

"Han Yeeun...", I mumbled as I picked up the remain letters and hugged it on my chest while crying.

It was hard for me to properly breath as I was crying nonstop and didnt even think to stop because it was really hurt for me.

"Yeeun-ah.. I'm sorry..", I said while hugged the letters tightly and let tears fell down on my laps as I looked down.

"I-I'm sorry, Yeeun-ah.. I'm sorry..", I slowly closed my eyes and silently cried while let the pain and hurt feeling hit me right into my broken heart.

Yeeun-ah.. I miss you. I want to meet you.. I want see you..

Jisoo was too broken and in pain as he actually forgot.. that he actually need to make a phone call to Hoshi after all the missed calls he got.

+save me save me lol