To the man I truly love:

Hi, Jin.

I received your letter and I see that you're not in your best state. You told me that you're fine, but you're not.

I am really worried of your condition.

I know that you don't want to hear these questions, but let me ask you one more time.

Have you eaten? Did you take a nap? Are you home already?

It may seem like I'm an insensitive person when I asked you those questions, but I really just want to ask you if you're okay.

I wanted to answer your question. Yes, I still remember the first time we met. I still remember how cute you are back then and how you became my first crush.

It was funny to think that at such a young age, I already saw us getting married in the future.

And yes, I also remembered the time that our parents talked about having grandchildren infront of us. I went to the loom and almost puked, but luckily, I did not. I looked at my reflection on the mirror. I was blushing and I can hear my heartbeat pounding so loud and so fast.

At that time I went to Japan for studies, I really wanted to stay, but my parents won't let me. I wanted to be beside you because I really like you. I remember the pain I planted in your eyes when I left. I wish I had been braver and risked to force my parents to let me stay, but I didn't. I have so many things to regret.

I received each and every message and calls from you. Believe me, I am really happy when you call me everyday. You're my stress reliever and though you're busy, you never failed to send me a text or call me. You're the perfect fiancé any girl could ever had.

I met Jimin there in Japan and surprisingly, we're classmates and we became friends. He was the one comforting me by the time that you're not beside me. He stayed beside me throught thick and thin and because of that, I fell for him. Maybe I fell for him because he's literally with me all the time. He's real and you're the guy I only see through my phone or laptop's screen. I needed something more and Jimin filled that something in me.

He was feeling the same towards me, so he decided to court me and after some time, I said yes to him. We're officially a couple by that time.

To be honest, I have seen you behind the wall on that day. I thought I was just seeing things, but you were real. I really wanted to stop Jimin from kissing me on my cheek because I know that you would see it, but I didn't. Why? Because he'll be mad at me and our relationship will be gone. Even as friends.

You called me at that night. Before answering your call, I pretended that I'm okay. As if nothing happened. As if I didn't see you behind that wall.

I'm a liar.

I told you that I'll be doing something else, in fact, there's none. I'm free for that night. I just didn't want you to call me because I'm afraid that you'll be mad at me.

But when you said that you tried to understand me, I felt guilty. Why do you have to carry all of the burden I caused you all by yourself? You should've told me that you're hurt, so that I can stop from cheating on you.

And the time came you confronted me that you know me and Jimin's relationship. I was so afraid of what could happen.

"I'm sorry, Jin. It's just that... you were not by my side the whole time. I tried to stop temptation, but I just fell deep. I am sorry for being weak." I told you.

And you said:

"I forgive and understand you, but please do me a favor."

"What is it?"

"Break up with him."  I wanted to disagree with you, but I still nodded. I broke up with Jimin though that ended my relationship with him as a girlfriend and as a friend.

But though it hurted me, you still found a way to cover that pain. We went out almost everyday and you even transferred to my school for that. Though it's hard for you to adjust with the new environment, you still did. I helped you.

But at that night, when you asked me to marry you, I refused. I shook my head and left you.

I was dumb for leaving you just because of a personal reason. How can you love a girl that cheated on you? How can you assure to yourself that I will never cheat on you again?

I guess wasn't ready for marriage. Yes, I did picture us to be together in the future, but I was a coward. I am such a coward and you don't deserve a girl like me.

But though I didn't marry you, I still love you.

I was on my way to your house one day, but your neighbor said you're at the hospital, fighting for your life.

Your heart is in a bad state. Probably because I hurted you too much. I broke it in a million times, but I know that every piece of that broken heart still loves me. And I love you, too.

So I went to the doctor and did a test. I'm the best candidate for your heart transplant, so I made a decision that will stop me from living.

There will be no funeral for you, Jin.
So now, I'll be giving you my heart. It's a healthy heart, so please take care of it. It's a little bit cracked, but I hope you won't let other people crush it.

Whenever you feel sad, don't forget that I'm with you always, okay?

Thank you for all of those memories. I love you, Jin. I really do.

xoxo,
Mina