Wow, the chances of me existing are low. I don't mean to complain at all, it's just the only conversation people had with me was complaining. So I don't know how to tell you about things positively. Believe it or not, before this job I was the most positive person you met. Actually, I'll save what changed me for my story. It is a very difficult subject.

I'm sorry for everything you continue to go through. Life's many ups and downs are typically filled with downs. At least it feels that way. The hardest part is being my age and not reaping the rewards just yet. The positive thing about my job is that it is really easy and I can make it that way. What kills me is not seeing my wife. The first person I can say I truly loved. My son being the love of my life.

I do have one question. What nationality are you? You say you were foreign to what I can assume Australia.

So are you separated??? Sorry I had the impression you were together?? I'd rather not reveal my nationality, there are very personal reasons, and this is not my real name. My real family name is pretty well known around the world... So I have to hide behind this one to be able to share my work.

My apologies. I didn't mean to intrude like that. I'm not one to get into ones privacy, I just noticed that you had not specifically mentioned it. So I'll leave it at that.

My wife and I are together. But she works in the morning, and I work midday to early morning.

You will never have to worry about me trying to pry into anything you don't share. Your real name, your fake name, your nickname; any name you have only means one thing to me: friend.

And more than that. I feel our short relationship and time of knowing each other sort of gives me the mentality that you're a mentor I've been desperately seeking. Someone who will place no judgement because you know all to well what it's like to be judged.

And for me, I've displayed my real name. My real picture. I am a person who keeps things open. If you want to know something about me, ask anything. My mom always said I am too honest. I will tell anyone, anything; well besides things that could get me robbed or my identity stolen. Lol

Yeah I get that and you didn't intrude, most people I speak with regularly know that I hide my real identity so no biggie. If you feel that you can speak to me - and yes, you are right I am the least judgmental person you are likely to meet, then make use of this connection. Honesty is good, unfortunately circumstances don't allow me the same freedom. My words are all true but the identity part, people understand my need for privacy... Apart from my identity, no issue with anything else, no matter what. Happy to hear you out :)

Does your memoirs make mention of this? Me just not being far enough?

Let's get off that topic. Because I am curious by nature and rather it just be removed entirely. I do have other friends that I can't know their identities, so to me it isn't an issue at all. When it comes to being a person without judgement, I'm sure I am your equal. Now here's what we can do. Ask me anything you want to know about me. I have no secrets.

You talked about bullying... were you the victim? And then did you bully in turn?

See, the bullying I suffered was more of being threatened and in danger. My bullies were gang members that cherished picking on me because I was white. I was never a victim because I never feared those that threatened my existence.

As for me bullying others, I told you that there was my real self and my public self. My public self was nothing more than a clown. I teased everyone, getting teased in return. My wife was actually someone that felt bullied by me... But I really just wanted her to see behind the facade. I wanted everyone to see behind it, but no one ever did. My real self was only discovered once, by one of my lesbian friends girlfriends on an emotional drunken night years later.

The people I did intentionally bully, those that picked on the weak. As well as people that I could sense were bad people. I stood up for people that could not stand up for themselves.

I was far too busy to spend my days picking on people. Granted I am no angel and I did pick on a couple of people, but I was not an alpha male unless pushed to reveal that self.

But there is something I've done that transcends bullying... The part of me that I call a monster.

I've referenced this a couple times. And I'm sure this is something you're curious about

Go, get it out. The bullying was the opening.