"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ― Socrates

"At any given moment, you have the power to say: This is not how the story is going to end." ― Christine Mason Miller

"If a person loves only one other person and is indifferent to all others, his love is not love but a symbiotic attachment, or an enlarged egotism." ― Erich Fromm

"But you'll always be my hero
Even though you've lost your mind"

- Love the way you lie Part II – Rihanna ft. Eminem

Chapter 40

The silence was unbearable. For a long time, we were just standing frozen, as if time had stopped. A gentle breeze ran somewhere far away, and the starry sky lost its last guide. The atmosphere was eerie and paralyzingly frightening.

Watching Mateo's motionless body made my blood run cold. His stare was fixed on my eyes and it seemed as if he was looking through me. He looked shocked as if he didn't understand what was happening, like a small child to whom someone said no for the first time.

"What do you mean you can't?" He whispered, still not understanding the weight of my words. Maybe he didn't even want to understand, maybe it was a way for him to deal with what had happened. Whatever it was, nothing could change the fact that the decision had been made and that every atom of my body told me it was the right one.

"Mateo, I love you, but-" I started in a trembling voice, but he interrupted me, letting out a humorless laugh.

"Love me? You have a strange way of showing it," he spat venomously.

He got up at the speed of light and looked at me in disbelief. He was so close to me that for the first time in so long I noticed how much bigger and stronger he was, that he could destroy me with one movement of his hand. I swallowed, suddenly aware of the gravity of the situation I was in.

"I know you don't share my opinion, but this is not the time for a wedding or anything for that matter," I tried to reason with him and get out of the problem I got myself into in the most painless way.

"It's not? And when is it, baby girl?" He asked me angrily. "The only thing I'm absolutely sure of is that I love you and it will be like that forever."

"I understand that, but in the future, now is not the time." I was ready to tell him anything just to stop him from pushing further and change his mind. I could not take the step he wanted. I wasn't ready neither physically nor mentally, for it. He was the only person I had left, but at the very thought of going that far, something in me stopped me.

"Why not? It's not as if any of us will have someone else in the future. If you're thinking about it, get it out of your head right now. You're not going anywhere, ever. You are mine, forever." He told me seriously, threatening me in a way.

Somewhere deep down, I was aware I had no way out, that I would be his forever. Even if I didn't want to, he wouldn't let me go, and when it came to him, I didn't stand a chance.

"I don't want to leave you, I just don't want to get married," I told him in despair, throwing my hands up.

"You told me we weren't married..." he said vaguely, to which I looked at him in confusion.

"What?"

"You said that we can't have a baby because we are not married and you were right, we should be a real family, legally too. So what's the fucking problem now?" Although the tone of his voice was sharp, he still didn't shout at me. Yet, that was far worse.

Only then did I realize how big of a mistake I had made when I had hidden from him the real reason why I didn't want children. I hoped in vain that he knew me well enough to know the truth. And yet, maybe he did know me, I just gave him an excuse to cage me completely.

I looked at him carefully, his eyes already fixed on mine. I remembered everything he did, every little and big thing he ever did to hurt me, every moment when he tied me so tightly to him I was suffocating. I felt like laughing in agony. Of course, he knew, he knew everything, he just didn't care. He wanted to put a ring on my finger as a constant reminder I was completely bound to him, because I was, because there was no way out. There really was no way out.

"Mateo, we can't solve our problems by getting married," I told him carefully. It was in vain, I was well aware, but that didn't stop me from at least trying. Even if it was pointless, I owed myself at least that much.

"Our problems? What problems, love?" The tone of his voice was much calmer as if something that could solve everything suddenly dawned on him. "Come on, take this ring and I'll forget your rejection. We'll get married and live happily ever after. Come on." The diamond ring blinded me again. I glanced at it briefly but quickly turned my gaze back to Mateo.

"No," I repeated, with more uncertainty this time.

His eyes glowed. Darkness engulfed them like never before, even on the night when he had hit me. I shivered, his demeanor completely changed. He clenched his fists so tightly I thought he would break them. His body was tense, and his chest moved violently, revealing how hard he was breathing. He was trying to control himself, to prevent the worst from coming to the surface. It is a pity that self-control has never been his strong point.

"No, huh?" He laughed with a fake smile, without a shred of humor in it. "You have two seconds to change your response, baby girl or I swear you'll regret it."

Even if I wanted to do it, I couldn't. My body was already visibly shaking. Unconsciously, I took a step back. All my fears from before have returned in full force. Looking at him in such a threatening state, I wanted to undo everything I had said, to throw myself at his feet and apologize for every word spoken, to tell him that I would do whatever he wanted. But it was too late, even if I could say it, ignoring the fear that paralyzed my mouth, it was too late. Nothing could stop the enraged animal, not even me.

"That's it?" He said through gritted teeth. "Well then, it was your choice."

He quickly took a step towards me and I did not manage to move away in time. I stumbled when I took a step back but he had already grabbed me sharply by the upper arm and pulled me so hard that I fall on his chest.

"Mateo-" I tried to reason with him but he didn't listen to me. He didn't want to listen to me.

He grabbed me by the left wrist, despite my protests. He held me so painfully that I was sure the mark would appear in that place soon after. Tears began to fall down my space, whether it was due to fear or pain, it didn't matter. I resisted, tried to get out of his grip, but he was eons stronger than me. He grabbed me around the waist with his free arm and completely pinned me to him, capturing me with his legs so that I couldn't move, let alone get away. He pushed the ring on the finger of my left hand not at all gently, and when he was satisfied with how it looked, he brought it to his lips against my will and kissed it, looking me straight in the eye.

"I gave you too much freedom, baby girl, too much, you won't have it anymore. You will do what I say, when I say it, and where I say it. You are mine, and this ring..." he roughly turned the front of my hand towards me so I could see it. "...confirms that. You will never leave me, never. "

"You're crazy!" I told him shakily, fear completely taking control of my body. I was on the verge of collapse and he didn't care. He didn't care about my tears either. He doesn't care about anything unless it affects him.

"Of course I'm crazy, crazy about you." he laughed like a mentally unstable person. I didn't know it was possible to feel more fear than I already did, but with every second passing, I proved myself more and more wrong. I wanted to disappear, to be gone.

"Let me go, Mateo, please!" With the last atoms of strength and will, I tried to protect myself, to save myself. A very pathetic attempt, but certainly necessary. There was nothing else I could do. With the last thread, I was holding on to the edge of common sense.

"Let you go?" He asked me angrily. "Why would I do that? So you could run away and leave me like you did the last time?! You can't go, you'll be with me for twenty-four hours if necessary!" He shouted so loudly that people on the other side of the world could hear him.

"What are you even talking about? Let me go!" I tried to pull my hand out of his grip, but he wouldn't let me, instead he tightened his grip.

"What am I talking about? You left me! You ran away from me! If your father wasn't a sick bastard, you wouldn't even want to come back to me! But let me tell you a secret, love, I wouldn't care even if you didn't want to, I was only giving you space so you could realize you can't live without me. If you hadn't come back to me when you did, I would have come for you and taken you back. It's going to be the same in the future, only this time, I won't even let you go!" He shouted at me angrily. Tears were streaming down my face, both due to pain and despair. I was slowly beginning to realize what I had been refusing for a long time.

"You hit me! You hit me dammit and you're hurting me again!" I snapped to which he pushed me so hard I fell and hit my head on the leg of the table. For a moment I saw the stars before my eyes. My vision darkened and I thought I would faint at any moment. I did not, be it a blessing or a curse.

"I've done so much for you! I gave you love, money, a roof over your head, everything, and yet, I wasn't enough! I'm never enough! What don't I have that you want, huh? What the fuck don't I have?!" I recoiled when he came up to me and squatted. I turned my head to the side but I wasn't fast enough yet again. He brought his rough hand to my face and grabbed me aggressively by the jaw, bringing it closer to his face, millimeters away from his lips. "Is it because of that blonde fucker? Is it? Answer me!" He yelled with all his might. I looked at him in tears, utterly confused. His eyes were bloodshot as if they would pop out.

"What ... are you...talking about?" I barely uttered because of the force with which he held my jaw. It hurt so much it was turning numb. I had the impression that he would break it at any moment.

"Fucking Luke!" He spat and roughly removed his hands from me, throwing my head aside. He stood up and looked at me from above as if I were nothing, only dirt on his expensive shoes.

"I should've killed him when I had the chance, but no, that fool drank the damn drink instead of him. Motherfucker ruined all my plans," he cursed loudly.

For a moment I forgot about the fear, the pain I felt. Although my whole body was in agony, the puzzle pieces were slowly starting to come together. I gasped in disbelief because it was only then that I realized the truth. Only then did I see Mateo's true face. How stupid I was. I didn't consider myself a person who can be blinded by love, but I was obviously mistaken. The evidence was right before my eyes. It only took five minutes for a normal person to connect the dots. Did I do that? No, I was too busy with my misery. What a fool, what an ignorant fool.

"You put Victor..." my voice cracked. I couldn't finish the sentence, it was too hard.

"Of course I did," he smiled wickedly. "Although truthfully, I didn't plan for him to take that drink, I wanted your little blonde friend to drink it, to get rid of him forever. He wanted to take what was mine and you were so stupid that you didn't even pay attention to his actions. I wanted to end his life later with my baby you found the other night, but it was too risky, the jerk already had his suspicions. I planned, I still plan, to wait for the whole thing to settle down and then finish him. Either way, the little shit won't have a long life," he continued to laugh diabolically.

"A gun," I whispered, and he looked at me carefully and bent down again to be at my height. I stared at the floor, never wanting to see him again.

"A gun, yeah, that's right," he confirmed contentedly as if he were proud of me for remembering it. "I was so scared that night, love, when you found it. I thought you would want to leave me, but no, one sob story is enough to get you in my arms. However, I didn't lie to you, sweetheart, what I told you was true," he winked.

"You hurt my friend," I said through gritted teeth. I wanted to hit him so hard he would never recover. I hated him, I hated him so much for hurting someone so innocent. I hated him because he was a beast. I hated him because I loved him.

"Friends. If you consider that retard Paul, who is sickly in love with you, as your friend though," he said nonchalantly, to which I quickly raised my head and looked at him, choosing not to understand what he had told me. "What? Don't tell me you didn't notice he was absent in classes? Poor idiot. But oh well, at least he's closer to his fiancée now."

His words struck me like lightning. I lost my breath. I should have known, of course I should have, but hearing him say that made me finally believe it.

"Did you...?" I couldn't say it, my heart was pounding abnormally fast in my chest.

"Kill him? Oh no, sweetheart, I haven't yet, he can't die just like that, he has to pay because he thought he could take you away from me," he said coldly and cupped my cheek. I tried to turn my head to the side but he held me too tight. "You are extremely beautiful, love, I hate that about you, you know?" He brought his nose closer to my cheek and caressed it. At least he thought it was caressing, for me, it was pure torture.

"Get away from me," I whispered. I didn't have the strength to fight, I was disgusted, I was disgusted with the man who hurt my friends, I was disgusted with the man who hurt me, I was disgusted with the man I loved. But he didn't care, he ignored my request.

"I curse that every day because it makes the situation too difficult, baby girl. Do you know how much time I wasted following you around to see where you were, who you were with? To make sure you don't do anything I wouldn't approve of? It's very hard, love," he shook his head and started kissing my cheeks. I whimpered, begging him to get away from me but he ignored me again. "Even the tracking devices and bugs I hid on your clothes, as well as the apps in your phone, were not enough. You were always with those lunatic friends of yours who put stupid thoughts in your head. I had to intervene many times, love. I've been thinking a lot about how to separate you from them. I thought that if I blocked their numbers on your phone, the situation would be sorted out, but no, you've always found ways to talk to them even when I finally took it from you, supposedly to fix it, which was really stupid by the way."

I felt sick to my stomach, I wanted to vomit. Any new information that came out of his mouth was even worse than the previous one. I closed my eyes tightly and let a new burst of tears fall down my face. I was suffocated by his presence. I tried to push him away but I was too weak. I cursed myself due to my weakness, tears, emotions.

Noticing my refusal, he abruptly stood up and grabbed me by the hair harshly, pulling me up towards him. I screamed in pain as he tugged me so forcefully I was sure a bunch of hair had fallen off my head. He did not remove his fist from the back of my head but pulled back so that my face was up, completely turned towards him.

"And then, like icing on the cake, my fucking best friend. Imagine that, you bewitched them all, love, and how not," he sighed.

I froze in an instant. Adrenaline was flowing through my body and I almost didn't feel any pain. He held me violently with one hand by the hair and with the other he squeezed my upper arm, which was already starting to turn blue. His fingernails dug into my skin, leaving visible marks. However, nothing mattered to me at that moment except for one small, innocent creature who was not guilty of anything.

"What did you do to them?!" I screamed at him, surprising both Mateo and myself with the strength of my voice.

Please, whatever exists, if it even exists, up there, I'm begging you to let the baby be well. I will do whatever just let him be fine.

"First of all, baby, you dared to yell at me again, I won't let that happen anymore, do you understand?" He asked me, seemingly calmly, only that calmness was anything but. But again, as if the adrenaline had taken complete control of my emotions, the fear was hidden by anger.

"What the hell did you do to them?!" I tried to push him away, hitting him on the chest with my hand with all my might. That strength of mine was pretty pathetic considering he just looked at me in annoyance and rolled his eyes. He strongly yanked me up by the hair, causing me to almost fall but then he grabbed me by the neck and brought me closer to him. Our noses were touching. I saw the rage but also the longing in his eyes. I wanted to gouge them out.

"I didn't do anything to them, baby girl, I just threatened Leon a little to leave and never come back, otherwise I'll actually do something to him and he knows it very well," he said, looking me straight in the eye, wanting to let me know how serious he was.

"Why did he even listen to you?"

"Because he knows better than not to listen to me. He was present many times when I fulfilled my threats," he smirked and I looked at him frantically. "Why do you look so shocked? Well, Hannah didn't tell you to take care of that bastard of hers for nothing. You've bothered me so many times to tell you what I do for a living, love, surprise surprise, this is me. Ask the poor dean, he would know," he winked.

And the last pieces of the puzzle finally came together. It was so obvious that I would have laughed in agony if I hadn't been in the condition I was in. Those conversations he had tried to hide from me, turning the volume of the call down so I wouldn't hear, the shooting at the fair, the traces of a new drug that couldn't be identified in Victor's blood, as well as the dean's wife, the fact that they obviously knew each other even though I hadn't realized it before. And finally, Hannah's words, Save my child, Tara, save him and save yourself.

What a fool I am.

"You're a monster," I told him venomously, looking him straight in the eye, meaning every word I said.

He frowned. My words hit him, hit him where it hurt the most. I was defeated, yes, I was defeated by a man who I loved, who I was ashamed I loved. Hate, love, and loathing had very thin boundaries. I was drowning in tears. I wanted to disappear. I wanted to die.

"Maybe, baby girl, maybe I am, but you will never get rid of this monster because you are mine. My love, my wife, the mother of my child. Mine and no one else's. It's about time I show you that."

Before I could speak, his lips were on mine. His touch was not gentle, it was dominant, aggressive, and threatening. I started hitting him, kicking him, doing everything just to get him away from me, but I didn't succeed. I was biting, pinching, but nothing helped.

"Mateo, no!" I barely uttered. He didn't let me breathe. "Mateo, I don't want to, let me go!"

He ignored me and picked me up, setting me to sit at the dining table. I took a bottle of champagne in my hands with the intention of hitting him with it, but he was faster. He snatched it from my hand and threw it at the opposite end of the room. He knocked down everything on the table until there was nothing left but a white tablecloth. The sound of shattered glass sent an eerie atmosphere into the night, the worst night of my life.

He stood between my legs, separating them without any problem when I tried to kick him. He grabbed my wrists with one hand and placed them behind me. It felt like he was going to rip my arms off my shoulder. He brought his lips to my neck and no matter how much I tried to avoid his touch, I couldn't. He clung to my body completely. I felt him where I used to yearn for his touch every time. However, now I was disgusted with myself, disgusted that my body was still reacting to the touch of such a horrible man, to the touch of a monster. I wanted him to get away from me. I begged him. He was immune to my requests, he wanted to teach me a lesson, he wanted to prove to me that I was and that I would forever be only his.

I screamed, cried, sobbed, but there was no way out. He kissed my neck, lips, cheeks, chest, every part of my body. I fought to the last breath. I fought to the last atom of my energy. I fought until I completely lost consciousness.

-

I woke up, naked, in bed. Mateo was not there and it was already a day outside. I didn't initially remember how the previous evening had ended, but the pressure on my ring finger was enough for me to remember most of the events. I stared blankly at the white ceiling. My whole body hurt, and that wasn't the worst. The worst was the pain that was inside, in my soul.

After who knows how long, I turned to the side and barely got up to sit on the edge of the bed. My gaze fell on the white paper left on the desk. Although I already knew what it was about, I took it with trembling hands and read it, trying not to fall apart on the spot. I laughed without a trace of humor when I read the content of his message.

I'll be back as soon as I'm done with work, love. I ordered food for you, heat it if you wake up late. I love you.

The damn bastard acted like nothing happened, like a winner. I crumpled the paper in my hands and tossed it across the room, ignoring the pain the movement caused. I slipped off the bed and collapsed on the fluffy carpet that gave me everything but comfort.

I wanted to cry, uncontrollably, painfully. I wanted to disappear, to be gone, to finally get out of this damnation I had fallen into. There was nothing left for me. The only man I loved, who I still love, destroyed me. He succeeded in his intention to break me so that I could finally be his shell.

I told him there wouldn't be a third time, what a fool I was. Everyone was telling me I couldn't change him, and I, like an idiot, ignored it all. There were so many signs that he was going to do what he did, and yet, it was like I was blind. I never expected him to go so far, to destroy me completely.

I didn't know who I was. That evening I lost the last part of myself. The person to whom I gave all my trust, my heart, my whole self, took it and played with it, adjusted it to suit what he wanted.

He was my last glimmer of hope, and he personally destroyed it with just one action. There was no reason for me to live anymore. I had nothing, no one, I had lost everything. I didn't have the strength. I felt dirty, disgusting. I felt like I had betrayed everyone. Everyone around me was in danger, no one was safe. I did so much harm to people I cared about. Victor almost died because of me, Luke was still in danger, Paul already went through who knew what, I betrayed Hannah, and that baby... I didn't even dare to think about what would happen to the baby.

There was no way out of this losing situation. I didn't deserve to live, to fight. I was a shell. I was afraid of every future moment with Mateo. I was afraid for my friends, but also myself. There was only one solution.

I quickly picked up the metal object that was residing under the bed since the day I found it. Considering he no longer had to hide it, Mateo wanted it to be closer to him in case of need. The need came, perhaps not in the expected, but certainly necessary way.

I took the gun in my trembling hands and stared. It was so easy to end it all, protect the people I loved and save myself the torment. I just needed to press the trigger and boom, I would no longer be there, I would disappear from the face of the earth. It was better that way. The world would be a much better place without me.

I brought the gun to my temple and put my finger on the trigger, ready to end all my suffering, agony, despair. I was ready to do anything just to stop feeling what I was feeling. The gun was heavy in my hands, I could barely hold it. But I didn't care. I didn't want to live anymore. Every moment of my life had become pointless. I didn't have the love of my parents, I lost the love of my friends and the love I had... it was damned.

I closed my eyes and raised my head. I took a deep breath and let it out quickly. Accepting my destiny and feeling warmth in my heart, realizing that everything was going to end, I opened my eyes. What I saw made my blood run cold.

Directly across from me was a full-length mirror in which center I saw myself. Long, disheveled hair, naked body full of bruises, with a gun pointed directly at the head, I did not recognize who I was. Bewildered, I dropped a metal object that fell on the carpet with a barely audible thud. I didn't look away from the mirror. Who was that person it reflected?

Almost at the same moment, a million memories came to my mind. Lena's words that there was another way, the support of my friends, Hannah's confidence that I was strong and that I could protect both myself and her baby. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw the shell of the person they saw, but still that person. No matter how much he had broken me, hurt me, destroyed me, he had never managed to break that essential part of me, what I had truly been. No matter how much convinced I was of that, I didn't lose myself. I wasn't the same as before, I was a lesser version of myself, but that was me regardless.

Until recently, I thought he was the only one who could pull me out of the abyss, but that was not true. The only person who could do that was me. He was the only man I had ever loved, but was he worth giving the most valuable thing, my life, for him? If love can fade, so can pain. I did survive the worst part, I'm going to survive the recovery.

I wasn't alone, I was stupid to think that. I had myself and that was the only thing that mattered. Lena was right, there were other options, there always are. So what if he had broken me. I was ready to pick all the shattered pieces and put them back together. I may not be exactly the same person, but that was the point. I've been through so much therefore I shouldn't be the same. He was the only man I loved, but maybe there was a chance I would get over it. I couldn't give up just like that without at least trying.

I loved him so passionately, so powerfully, for so long. I still love him, but maybe it's time to start loving myself too.

-

"Oh my God, Tara, are you okay?!" The worried voice of my black-haired friend woke me up.

It had taken me less than five minutes to put on some randomly selected clothes, turn on the fire alarm, and escape from the personnel in front of their noses. I had run away and had gotten to the nearest payphone as fast as I could, knowing that Mateo would be notified immediately of what I had done. Keeping in mind what he had told me about him constantly following me, I had known I couldn't escape on my own so I had listened to my heart and had called the people I was confident would be there no matter what. So I just sat on the sidewalk in a busy street, waiting for my friends who came at the speed of light.

"Yes, Em, don't worry," I gave her a reassuring smile, but she didn't really believe me. I sighed, neither would I.

"We'll talk later, we have to get out of here," Luke ordered authoritatively.

I started to get up, but before I could do that, he ran up to me and helped me to my feet. I looked at him gratefully and he gave me a small smile."Everything is going to be alright."

We were driving for a long time in a spacious car. Luke was behind the wheel, Stephan next to him, and Emma was sitting on the seat next to mine. Sarah, Victor, and Lena went to, as they named it, a safe house, to prepare it for my arrival and explain to the police what had happened. I told them to call the dean, that he would know what to do. Emma was supposed to stay with them too, but she had threatened everyone that she would castrate them and destroy their female organs if they didn't let her come to me. Seeing how tightly she held my hand, I could understand why she had done it. She was afraid of losing me. If she only knew how close to death I had been.

"Guys, I-" I started in a trembling voice, but Luke interrupted me.

"You don't have to explain anything. Now it's important that we take you to safety, we'll talk about the rest later," He said in a serious voice. Our eyes met through the rearview mirror. His eyes were enough to put all my worries aside, at least for a bit.

"Thank you. I know I'm putting you in danger with this... I'm immensely thankful," I told them honestly.

"What are friends for?" Luke winked and Emma hugged me. I couldn't help but smile.

-

"We can't be at the gas station for long, Tara, do what you have to and let's go, we're not far," Stephan told me, to which I immediately nodded and ran to one of the cabins.

I didn't go to the bathroom for hours and, although it seemed like an awful idea, I couldn't stand it anymore. Certainly, nothing could happen to me. Luke, Stephan, and Emma were right in front of the door making sure no one walked inside.

I quickly fulfilled my physiological needs and immediately got out. I went to the sink and started washing my hands. Surprisingly, there was soap.

"Are you coming, Tara?" I heard Emma's voice asking me from outside the bathroom.

"Yeah, I'll be quick," she replied.

I sighed deeply and finally looked up at the mirror. Until that moment I was afraid to see what I looked like. I was right that I was afraid, only that was not an adequate reason.

"I don't think you will."

Before I could make any sound, the man of my dreams as well as my nightmares found himself behind me, covering my mouth with his hand as he held me tightly around my waist, embracing my arms as well, so that I could not move. I whimpered, but it was in vain, no one could hear me.

"Did you really think you could run away from me, baby girl?" He whispered in my ear, making me shudder. "A smart move, I must admit, a fire alarm? Ingenious, that's why I love you, love, among other things." He kissed me where my neck and shoulders met, finding my sensitive spot. I shivered and he freed my mouth.

"Let me go, please, I'll forgive you, just let me go," I begged in a trembling voice. Tears were already sliding down my face and my heart was pounding in my chest.

"But you see, love, I can't do that. I love you too much," I felt something firm pressed to my beck. "Now, baby girl, I'm sure you can guess what this is, so if you're planning on getting your little friends out of here alive, you'll do what I tell you."

"Mateo, please," I tried one more time, but as expected, he did not react.

"Walk," he ordered.

I had no other choice, I knew he wasn't messing around. If I hadn't done what he told me he would have hurt my friends whose only fault was that they wanted to help me. Sobbing softly, I followed him. Walking through a doorway I had not seen before, we immediately found ourselves outside, in the fresh air. As soon as we were a few feet away, he put the gun back in the waistband of his pants and, without spending another second, took me in his arms and slung me over his shoulder. It occurred to me then that that was my only chance.

I screamed out loud.

I heard him swear and hurry. I kept shouting using all my strength, calling out to my friends. In the end, they heard me, but as the word itself implied, it was the end. Luke and Stephan ran outside and almost stumbled in shock when they saw in whose arms I was, and Emma was already shedding tears not far from them. They tried to catch up with us, but Mateo was simply faster. He put me in the car, threw me on the seat, and a few seconds later, we were on our way, leaving behind only the dust that wiped the faces of my worried friends.

-

My quiet sobs spread through the small space of Mateo's car I didn't recognize. He wasn't looking at me. His hands were on the steering wheel, squeezing it so tightly his knuckles turned pale. His gaze was fixed on the road in front of him. He looked scary. His eyes were furious, his jaw clenched and his shoulders tense. He didn't say anything but I knew it was only a matter of time before he exploded.

I was scared. I felt some heaviness in my chest and the fear was paralyzing. I couldn't move even though I tried my best. Tears were falling uncontrollably down my face and that was the only distraction from the fact that I had the impression I could not breathe. I was shivering like never before and it was only a matter of time before I fainted.

"You left," Mateo muttered and I jumped. He didn't turn around to face me, but the sharpness in his voice was enough to kill every atom of courage in my body. "You left without even wondering for a second how I would feel!" He yelled at the end, to which I then visibly jumped in surprise and hit myself on the car door. Hurting once again one of the bigger bruises on my body, I winced in pain but I tried to ignore it, I didn't have time for that.

"Left?" I repeated in disbelief, in a low voice. "Are you aware of what you did to me?"

"You deserved it, you wanted to leave me, to leave me in this place alone, I will never allow that, I warned you." There was not a shred of remorse in his voice. I didn't really expect it, but that didn't mean it hurt any less.

"You'd think it would be clear to you why I rejected you by now, it seems not," I muttered, somewhat hoping he wouldn't hear me, but of course that wasn't the case.

"You can reject me as much as you want, that doesn't change the fact that you are going to be my wife, that you are already my wife. You didn't even take off the ring, what do you think, why?" He finally looked away from the road and pointed his eyes at my ring finger, which truly had a big, diamond ring on it. I didn't have to turn my head in its direction, its weight was enough, both on my skin and in my heart.

"Because I'm afraid of you, you damn jackass!" I screamed.

I expected him to stop, slam on the brakes abruptly and start yelling at me with all his might, maybe even hit me again, I expected everything except what I actually got. He stepped on the gas, driving much faster than what was allowed. He was speeding so much I had to grab the seat to keep my balance. He was flying on an almost empty road, full of curves.

"Mateo, slow down!" I ordered him hurriedly. The fear of him was almost overcome by the fear for my life. Watching the miles per hour increasing seemed to make my heart beat like crazy, like it was going to jump out of my chest.

"You want to leave me, leave me to live without you forever," he muttered as if he was lost. He wasn't even aware of what he was doing. It was like he wasn't himself, completely losing control. "YOU WANTED TO LEAVE ME!" He shouted as loud as he could, making me cry even harder.

Deep down, I knew I had to stay level-headed to stop him from killing us both. However, it was difficult. My legs were trembling so much I could barely feel them, my whole body was shaking, and I could scarcely open my mouth in fear. It was so hard.

"Mateo, please slow down," I begged him. If I could, I would do whatever he wanted, fall to my knees if I had to, just so he would stop the car. I would have done everything, but that fact didn't reach his mind. He was blinded by anger and fear, the fear that he would lose me, that he had lost me forever. It didn't take me long to understand what was going through his mind. He would rather disappear from the face of the earth than spend a second more without me.

I had no choice, I had only one thing left to do and then pray it would be enough.

"Mateo, please stop the car! I'll do whatever you want, I'll come back to you, we'll be a happy family, we'll get married, have children, whatever you want, just stop the car!" I screamed in despair, my tears falling like rain.

"You're just going to run away again and leave me! I love you, I love you so much! I can't live without you! You mean the world to me! You're going to leave, I can't take it anymore! It hurts me, Tara, every time you leave my chest tightens, I can't breathe. I can't breathe, Tara! I love you, baby girl, you can't leave!" He was shaking his head violently. His own tears began to fall uncontrollably down his beautiful but sinister face. He looked more like a wounded angel than a devil. It was a real shame that I knew the truth.

"No, baby, I promise you, just stop the car and everything will be fine, I will never leave! I promise!" I fought with all the atoms of my strength to bring it back to reality. He was crying, sobbing, his whole body was shaking like he was about to have the attack. He choked a bunch of times, barely managing to speak. It was painful to watch.

"You're lying!"

"I'm not lying, I promise I'm not!" I tried to justify myself, my words barely understandable due to the sobs that I could not control.

"Yes, you are! You will run away with someone else again, but I'll never allow that, Tara, ever! Remember that! You won't be anybody else's but mine! Forever mine! In this life, or the next!" He used the full power of his voice. He didn't slow down, not in the slightest, the speed only increased to the point of breaking, to the point where he would finally break.

"Mateo, I'm begging you! I love you."

That was my last attempt, my last try, my last battle to win the war. And what I told him was true. Every fiber of my being knew it was, even though it shouldn't have been. I was hoping he would realize it too and stop this madness. I hoped there was at least one rational part of him that would wake him from the murderous trance he was in.

It was truly comical, comical that I relied on it for even a moment. When it came to me, Mateo was never rational, he couldn't, he didn't know how.

He removed his hands from the steering wheel while his foot was still on the accelerator pedal. I gasped in disbelief and my tears, for the umpteenth time, began falling even harder. Before I could say anything, he turned to me and cupped my cheeks into his strong, masculine hands, bringing me closer to him.

"I love you, baby girl, forever."

He pressed his lips vigorously on mine and stepped on the gas as hard as he could. I didn't even resist, I knew I had lost. An eternity later, I heard the loud sound of sirens, followed by a brutal crash that pulled my whole body into the hollow.

I felt pain like I had never felt before. It was everywhere, in every cell of my body. So much pain. My head, neck, arms, legs, my heart. Everything hurt. I couldn't talk, I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe.

Eventually, I fell into his arms. The last thing I saw were his shiny, dark orbs. Slowly closing my eyes, I surrendered to the warmth of his body.

A/N

I'm not saying anything until I publish the last part.
If you have questions regardin the story (or not), leave them here and I'll answer in the next chapter^^

This, by the way, was supposed to be divided into two chapters considering its length, but it didn't have a logical sequence for me, so I left it in one. I feel like I didn't portray her emotions well but idk, maybe it's a subjective thing since it's 5 am here and my eyes are closing on their own accord. I really wanted the chapter to be emotional, but I believe I'll feel better about it after I get some sleep. Hope you guys like it<3

"Decadence" is going to be updated as soon as I publish the epilogue of this book, meaning sometime during the next week.

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Love you all xx