"Sometimes we refuse to see how bad something is until it completely destroys us."

― unknown

"Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."

― unknown

"We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe."

― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Chapter 17

"5 people died and dozens were injured after they were caught in the crossfire between two gangs that took place earlier today. Representatives of the police department and ministry of internal affairs didn't want to comment nor did they give more information on what was the cause of the shooting. We will be back with new details. Now, let's move to the sports section..." Mateo changed the channel when the news ended.

The four of us were in Mateo's penthouse. I was seated on a couch in the leaving room, my head resting on Mateo's neck and my legs crossed over his. Leon and Hannah were sitting on a sofa to our right. We were surrounded by silence. None of us knew what to say. Mateo's friend and his girlfriend were too much engrossed in their thoughts judging by their facial expression, and Mateo acted as if none of what had happened bothered him. One of his hands was busy playing with the strands of my hair, while the other one was holding a cold compress on his face. He seemed void of any emotion as if he wasn't even capable of feeling them. His calm demeanor left me astounded seeing as I was beyond surprised by the events that took place earlier. I still haven't come out of the state of shock and processed everything that had happened.

"I can't believe what happened," I muttered after the silence became unbearable for me. And I couldn't. However, the worst thing of all was the fact that I had no idea what I was feeling. Mateo's touch made me feel secure and safe, but there was some unknown weight pressing on my chest, that kept me from breathing at a normal rhythm. There were many thoughts going through my head, most of which I couldn't even say out loud. I practically couldn't even remember how we got back to the apartment. I was so shocked by what I had witnessed, I could hardly feel someone's arms lifting me up and putting me in the car. The only thing I had been aware of was that the police cars arrived as soon as we left the area where the fair was being held. The timing was so perfect that I wondered if it was really accidental. It looked like I was in delirium for the rest of the ride. I could hardly decipher my surroundings.

"I know, me neither," Hannah agreed and nodded her head. Yet, for some reason, she didn't really sound convincing.

"But, I don't understand," I carried on with ma confusing statements.

"What exactly?" Hannah asked me. Leon and Mateo completely ignored us. The only indication that they were there was that I could feel Mateo's caresses on my neck and shoulders, and I noticed that Leon was doing the same to Hannah. It was actually pretty comical how synchronized they were.

"Why?" I started "Why the fair? Why in broad daylight? Why did the police take so long to arrive?" What happened to the man Mateo was fighting with? However, I didn't dare ask that. I didn't give up on getting an answer, but I was also smart enough to realize that I wouldn't get it if I started questioning my rather impulsive boyfriend.

"Don't burden yourself with that, princess," Mateo told me and kissed me on the forehead, leaving his lips there longer than necessary. That pissed me off. How could he expect me to put the subject aside? Even if I somehow did potentially understand his reasons for ordering me around before, this was a completely different kind of situation. I was in the middle of the crossfire! Although I still haven't fully addressed that fact - the proof was the adrenaline and shock that ruled over my body so I didn't feel as much fear or any other emotion for that matter – I still had countless questions and was frustrated that I wasn't getting answers.

"But, Mateo..." I started, however, he interrupted me by throwing a compress on the floor, grabbed me around the waist and made me sit on his lap, with my legs on either side of him.

"I'm serious. The only thing that matters is that you're fine, there's no need to think about other stuff," he told me in a determined voice, cupping my cheek and bringing my face closer to his. He didn't wait for long before he pressed his lips to mine. He put all of his emotions in that kiss. - despair, anger, rage, fear, longing, passion, love. He kissed me like he never did before. It seemed as if he was afraid of losing me and thus making sure I was there, next to him.

"Get a room," Leon teased and Mateo pointed his middle finger at him, not breaking the kiss for even a millisecond. Still, we weren't exactly lucky seeing as, just moments later, my phone rang.

Mateo growled when I started to move away from him, grabbing me tightly by the lower back and literally pinning me to him.

"Don't answer," he ordered me. I tried to move away from his grip yet again, but it was in vain.

"Mateo!" I complained through the kiss and bit his lower lip hard. He let out an annoyed sigh and removed his lips from mine, but he still held me close.

"Seriously?" He asked me, sounding rather irritated. I rolled my eyes and took my phone out of my back pocket. I checked the caller ID, got up from Mateo's lap and headed for the terrace so I could talk in peace.

However, Mateo didn't like that, judging by the fact that he immediately grabbed my wrist and turned me around so I was facing him.

"Who's calling you?" he asked suspiciously. He was frowning and his eyebrows were furrowed. Yet, he still managed to look breathtaking.

"Emma," I said truthfully. He nodded his head and let me go. He obviously believed me, otherwise, he wouldn't have waited before making a jealous scene.

When I went out on the terrace, I immediately answered the phone, a little confused because the precious thing did not stop ringing. However, before I could even say anything, a well-known female voice on the other end interrupted me.

"Please tell me you're fine!" Emma literally shouted.

"I am, Em," I answered her shortly.

"Thank god! You have no idea how worried the three of us were when we heard what had happened at the fair."

"There's no need, we left before it all happened." I hoped she wouldn't notice a slight tremor in my voice. I didn't want them to worry, so I lied, or at least I convinced myself that that was the reason.

"I was so scared! No one knows what really happened." It was obvious that she wanted to keep on talking about it, but I really couldn't do it, so I decided to change the topic of the conversation.

"Tell me, how come you're not on a date?" I knew that if I wanted to distract Emma from thinking about the shooting, I had to mention either clothes or boys. I bet on a second one, it seemed more efficient to me for that moment.

"I don't know, T, you were probably right, that wasn't it," she said sadly. Usually, I would feel some kind of satisfaction because of what she admitted, but I would never wish for her to feel bad just for the sake of it. So I decided to try and cheer her up.

"You can say it again, you know," I joked and she laughed.

"Don't get your hopes up, it won't happen anytime soon," she bit back in a determined tone, but clearly with a hint of something that made it clear that she was entertained by the conversation.

"Oh, you hurt my feelings."

"You have feelings?"

"Your words physically hurt." We both burst out laughing at my statement.

"I'm sure you're dying because of pain. Now tell me, Mateo and you, the fair, spill the tea sis!" The enthusiasm in her voice made me so excited I couldn't wait to share with her what we were doing today. Before everything went south, obviously.

"Oh E, it was wonderful! We went on a few rides, even a roller coaster! He bought me cotton candy and won me a unicorn ..." I couldn't help but smile a toothy smile because I remembered that Mateo was so sober in the moments when no normal person would, and took the unicorn back to the penthouse with us. I didn't even notice he did it. I knew we had lost it somewhere in the midst of the fight and I didn't think about it afterward. Only when I saw him pull it out of the car did I remember the huge stuffed animal. I didn't have a special reaction at that moment, because the previous shock was still overpowering my senses, but when I remembered what he had done, some strange tenderness took over my body. It was worrying how many contradictory emotions he managed to provoke in me at the same time.

"Unicorn? For God's sake T, how old are you?" Emma asked me and brought me back to reality.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" I rolled my eyes even though I was perfectly aware that she couldn't see me.

"Because It's weird."

"You're weird," I countered, annoyed.

"Okay, fine, there's no need to get mad."

"I'm not mad." Lie.

"Do you know what I would do to you if I was there right now?" The baby voice she used made it clear what she was insinuating and the traumatic scenes of her pinching my cheeks clouded up my mind.

"You have no idea how glad I am because you're not," I told her and let out a breath of relief.

"I would be offended, but I couldn't care less," she replied.

"Of course. Anyway, we run into Paul," I resumed our previous conversation.

"Seriously? Girl, why didn't you tell me earlier? What happened?!" She sounded so excited that It looked like she was immersed in the newest episode of her favorite soap opera. I used to wonder if she really loved me or hearing about my problems and life was her preferred way of entertainment.

"He wanted to make a scene, but he didn't because..." I shut my mouth the moment I realized in which direction my sentence was heading. I almost admitted to her that I was there during the shooting. I would have a lot of explaining to do in that case.

"Because?" She insisted.

"Because we had to head back. My stomach hurt so bad, Em, so I forced Mateo to drive us home." I wasn't aware of the moment when I started to lie that good, but I was glad due to the fact that I had no idea how could I explain everything to Emma without her exaggerating. Although to be fair, it wasn't like she could blow the whole thing out of the proportion, the situation we found ourselves in was dangerous.

"It must be because of the butterflies in your stomach." She laughed at her own joke, which made me smile too. "Anyway, T, you have to tell him everything," she told me in a serious tone of voice. I got a knot in the pit of my stomach when I heard her say that because I very well knew what she was talking about.

"I know, E, I just don't know how to do that," I whined like a spoiled brat. I was beyond annoyed by that whole situation. I hated hiding something like that from Mateo, but knowing his temperament - I wasn't sure I was ready to face his wrath.

"Easy, just explain to him what, when, where and how happened." The way she said it, put the whole thing in a perspective as if he was the most reasonable and understanding guy in the world and that he would accept what I tell him with an open mind. I couldn't help but snort. Mateo was anything but reasonable and calm.

"I know that you've only seen him once in your life, but I thought that even that was enough to judge his character."

"It can't be that bad. What's the worst thing he could do?"

"Kill someone?" I suggested.

"You're exaggerating." I could imagine her rolling her eyes.

"Trust me when I tell you that I'm not," I snorted. I was sure that Mateo wouldn't really kill someone, especially because of something so trivial, but I was also sure that he would most definitely do something stupid.

"You're making a mistake, but nevermind, it's your business." Fortunately, she put an end to the conversation. "Anyway, I'm glad you're okay, but now I really have to go, see you soon." She didn't wait for me to answer her but immediately hung up. I hated it when she did that, but I was already used to it. At times I thought she did it on purpose, she liked to irritate everyone around her.

I gasped when I felt strong arms wrap around my waist and pull me back. It took me a few moments to realize that the irresistible, masculine scent belonged to Mateo. If his crotch pressed against my back didn't make me nervous enough, the effect was definitely achieved when he removed my hair from my right shoulder and buried his head in the crook of my neck, leaving tiny kisses there. His touches made me shiver and yearn for more.

"What did she want?" He muttered between the kisses.

"To check if I was okay," I said shortly, clearly nervous. I couldn't concentrate because he was painfully slowly nibbling on the sensitive skin on my neck, surly leaving love bites.

He murmured something as a sign of understanding and right after turned me around quickly so this time I was facing him. He carefully scanned every detail of my face as if looking for something. He raised his hand and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. I was out of breath at that moment, too occupied with his dominant appearance that wouldn't let me live peacefully.

"I have to ask you something," he whispered.

Yes, and I have to ask you something too. For example, what happened to the man you were fighting with? However, I didn't say anything, I just gave him a sign with my eyes to continue.

"Words, Tara," he commanded. I immediately understood that the thing was delicate, seeing as he used my full name and not one of the nicknames he gave me. I gulped.

"Okay, ask me," I responded, my voice wavering a bit. I tried to recall what was that serious that he had to talk in that way, but I came up short.

"Who was that imbecile?" He asked me angrily. His jaw was clenched and his eyes narrowed. He looked so dangerous that I felt a shiver run down my spine.

"The son of my father's business partner," I said in a firm voice, trying to seem tough. There was no need to act naïve and dumbfounded – it was more than obvious that he was talking about Paul. I dreaded this conversation and I had to find a way to get out of it alive, as soon as humanly possible.

"Just that?" He asked me suspiciously.

"He also goes to the same uni as I am, but I don't really know him well." I didn't exactly lie, at least not yet. Paul and I were barely on speaking turns, we were merely acquaintances.

"Then why did he insinuate that he had dinner with your parents and you?"

"Because he did," I blurted before realizing what my words implied. He frowned and pressed his hips against my stomach, successfully pushing me back. I soon found myself trapped. Behind me was the terrace railing, on the side were Mateo's hands, and in front of me was Mateo's body pressing mine and holding me captive. There was no way out.

"You have two seconds to explain before I do something bad," he bellowed. His eyes flashed with so much anger, it was more than clear that he could barely restrain himself. From what? I wasn't sure and I was afraid to find out.

"No, no, you misunderstood everything," I panicked, I had to somehow get out of the hole I literally dug myself into. "His and my father had a business dinner, so we were present, nothing else, I've already told you we don't know each other well," I said that sentence at a speed I wasn't even aware I was capable of. He raised his left eyebrow, indicating that he didn't trust me completely, but he calmed down at least a little, judging by the fact that he started to breathe more regularly.

"Love...." He said in a threatening tone. He raised his hand and placed it on my neck, caressing the skin there with his thumb. However, I wasn't deluded. That wasn't a gesture of tenderness, but a threat. The red flag was so huge I couldn't have mistaken it for something else. He shifted his gaze to me again, looking me straight in the eyes.

"If I find out that you're lying to me, trust me, you won't like the consequences."

-

"Remind me why your boyfriend didn't see you off?" Sara asked after we finally arrived at our destination, where we were supposed to meet the rest of the people from our university that decided to go on a trip.

"Because I told him I want to go with you. I'll literally be back in a couple of days, and I spent every last one with him. Also, honestly? I need a little space," I replied, annoyance clear in my voice.

It's been a while since that shooting incident. I calmed down a bit, although a few times I found myself remembering the events that happened. I had a million questions, but miraculously, I wasn't as scared and shaken up as I was at the beginning. As much as Mateo could be scary and mysterious at times, I couldn't help but feel safe around him when it comes to such situations. I knew he would protect me from everyone else, but I wasn't sure that he would protect me from himself. However, everything went smoothly with him since the infamous occurrence, which confused me and slightly worried me. Although he didn't tell me what his job was, nor did he talk about his past, spending time with him turned to be quite relaxing. Our days were reduced to cuddling, kissing and sex. We barely found time to eat and sleep. Furthermore, we were only separated when he was at work and I was in some of my classes. For a reason unknown to humankind, we couldn't stay away from each other. His penthouse became my second home considering that days would pass without him allowing me to go back to my apartment - he was that obsessed.

"Are you fed up with him already?" Sara gave me a pointed look, deliberately provoking me.

"Actually no, but aren't you glad you're having me for yourself now? We haven't seen each other often lately." I raised an eyebrow and she hugged me.

"Don't you dare tell anyone that I admitted this, but I missed you," she kissed me on the cheek, to which I returned the gesture.

"And I missed you, you little shit!" We both burst out laughing at my words.

We soon noticed Emma and Lena standing with suitcases in front of one of the buses. I could bet most of them were Emma's. She had a thing for carrying unnecessary things with her, although I wasn't very adequate person to say that, having in mind that we were pretty much the same in that department.

"Are my eyes deceiving me, or has Her Majesty decided to honor us with her presence?" Emma said dramatically, putting her hand over her heart, pretending to be shocked. I rolled my eyes at that, sometimes she exaggerated so much so I didn't understand how any of us managed to not go insane.

"It's nice to see you too, E." Sarah and I approached them and hugged and kissed them both on the cheek – our usual greeting.

Just when I pulled away from Lena, I felt someone put an arm over my shoulder. Confused, I turned to the side and saw Paul. He was dressed up as usual – tight, bright jeans and a white shirt that fit his body perfectly. He put so much gel on his hair as if he was going to a business meeting and not on a multi-hour bus trip. I had a huge need to make some sarcastic comment, but I decided against it. Nevertheless, I tried to remove his hand from my shoulder but I failed, he was stronger than me. I looked at him angrily, trying to quite literally kill him with my eyes.

"Won't I get a kiss?" He smirked. I knew he was deliberately provoking me, but that didn't mean I didn't have the need to hurt him, in many ways.

However, before I could react in any way, his hand disappeared from my neck, and he let out a groan. I completely turned my body in his direction and I couldn't help but laugh at the scene I witnessed. Luke, who came up from nowhere, twisted his arm and put it behind his back. His grip seemed so painful that it reminded me of Mateo for a brief moment.

"The only thing you can get is my fist in the middle of your face, and we don't want that, do we?" Luke asked Paul suggestively. Paul started rapidly shaking his head, begging him to let him go. Luke looked up and pointed his gaze at me, quietly asking for my approval. I waited a few seconds, purely for the unwanted person to feel a little more pain, and then I nodded. Luke let him go and pushed him away in the opposite direction from ours. The whole scene looked pretty comical. Paul was running so fast he left the impression that he was being chased by a monster.

"Thank you," I said shyly to Luke, to which he just laughed. It was hard for me to admit that, but I could put up with him a lot more than a couple of months before. I may have misjudged him after all, but that still didn't mean I liked him.

"I can't stand this persona." Only when he spoke did I notice Victor who was clearly standing next to Luke the whole time. I didn't know how I hadn't realized that, I was probably too preoccupied with the ongoing altercation.

"Can anyone?" Emma murmured, to which we all agreed.

"Shall we get on the bus?" Sara asked us after a few minutes.

"I'm sitting with Emma!" Lena hastily added and we all looked at her strangely.

"Um, that hurts," I commented sarcastically and rolled my eyes. She just ignored me and went inside. We all followed her, but Luka turned around to face me for a moment.

"Are you ready for the madness?" He raised an eyebrow and asked me with a smile.

"Always," I smiled back.

At that time, I couldn't even imagine how accurate the word madness was to describe everything that would happen on the trip.

My instagram -> v_jelenaa