When a guy disses your favorite song:

You: SAY THAT AGAIN. *holds up two peanuts threateningly* I FRICKEN CHICKEN DOUBLE NUGGETS DARE YOU.

Guy: ;-; Dude. It's just a song... and those are just peanuts....

You: *crack the peanuts with your powerful fingers* AND THOSE WERE JUST YOUR BALLS.

Guy: 0.0 Okay, okay! That song is cool! Just don't hurt me!

You: YOU'RE LYING! *kicks his prized jewels* BISH!! >:(

Guy: *doubles over, whimpering pathetically*

You: HUEHUEHUE!

Guy: You're crazy! D:

You: At least my balls aren't on the line. *holds up two peanuts with a sickly sweet smile*

Guy: *runs away, screeching his face around the universe and beyond*

~~~~~ (I claim this line. His name will be Mr. Squiggles <:3)

*my phone goes crazy with buzzes from a single notification*

*has a mini heart attack from the notification ambush*

*reads the notification*

*has another heart attack*

There's going to be a flash flood at ten tonight in my state. ;~; Seriously, what's with all the water these days?!? D:

~~~~~ (This one's up for claiming...)

When you walk in on your girl crush showering (and you're a girl):

You: *stares at the things protruding from her torso* Nice boobs, gurl.

Girl: Uh... thanks! :) *doesn't know you have a crush on her*

You: *eyes travel lower* Nice va-

Girl: *covers her lower private part, blushing slightly* You can look at my boobs, but you can't look at my thingy-thingy!

You: ...it's called a vagina.... O.o

Girl: Stop looking at it!!

You: But I'm a girl too... :( *thinks:* Actually, I'm just perverted....

Girl: But I'm not comfortable with showing you! D:

You: How 'bout I just hop in with you, and after you see mine, you can show me yours? :3

I'll make sure to never say that because that just sounds really creepy... You have no idea how uncomfortable I was when writing that. ;~;

When you walk in on your guy crush showering (and you're a girl):

You: *immediately blushes dark red at the sight of his abs* O-oh, umm... 0_0

Guy: *doesn't notice you yet*

You: *eyes trail down and you see his wiggly bit* *faints after getting a nosebleed*

Guy: *smirks as he stares down at you* I'm so sexy~

That wasn't nearly as long as the other one. XD By the way, to clear something up (I dunno how to put it), I wrote this yesterday's last night. Also, I had a dream about there being water on the streets (not TOO much water, though). Which reminds me- *looks out my window* -oh, no water. I won't lie; I was excited for there to be a really tiny-mini flood in my area. XD