Chapter 33 | Different

D E N I S E

Night came and the whole resort was awake. The tourists were kind of plenty yet I didn't feel suffocated at all. The whole clubs were everyone's happy place.

"You'll go later?" kuya Trojan asked me when he noticed me staring at the clubs.

"Maybe..." I answered.

"Plano ko rin, e, but my stomach is still rumbling like hell," he ranted and groaned.

I chuckled, I bet he already cursed every coconut in this planet.

Sabay kami ng aking kapatid tumungo sa restaurant upang sumabay sa dinner ng lahat. The northern wind almost made me out of balance, mabuti na lamang at nahawakan ako agad ni kuya.

"Anong nangyari sa 'yo? Hangin lang 'yon, ha," he asked me.

"Nabigla lang, ang lakas kaya," I answered and we continued walking.

The resort was full of hanging yellow lights. In the right side, there were people sitting at the wooden chairs and tables, enjoying the night breeze with barbeques and beers.

I saw how a girl, at the age of eleven, based from her appearance, curiously stared at the adults. I smiled because I was like her before. I could still remember how I longed for that kind of vibe at a very young age.

Before, I thought adult stuffs would make me satisfy and happy but looking back from now, as an adult... life didn't change because of your age. Life kept going and you should go with its flow.

If you were at the stage of youth, go with it. Rushing your life wouldn't satisfy you and running away from who you are wouldn't complete you.

Life changes you within its flow because you are getting prepared closer to reality.

We walked pass through the people and we finally got to the restaurant. Mabilis naming nahanap ang aming lamesa. Nagsisiyahan na ang lahat dahil sa mga kuwento at pagkain.

"Dito ka na, Minah," kuya Marcus offered me a seat.

Doon ako dumiretso at umupo. Katabi ko si kuya Marcus at katapat ko naman si Math. I busied myself by eating my dinner. I was peacefully listening to them when tita Molin mentioned me.

"Minah, what's your plan after dinner?"

"Chill at the bar, maybe," I answered casually.

"Gano'n ba? Would you like to go swimming with me?" tita asked.

I swayed my head, "I can't po because... you know."

"Oh, right! Sorry, my bad." Si tita.

"It's okay po. I'll chill at the club after this for a while naman," I said.

"You're going with Math?" lolo asked.

Nagtinginan kami ni Math sapagkat hindi dapat ang sagot ko roon.

"Yes, lo," si Math ang sumagot.

"I thought you're still sleepy?" tito Andro asked maliciously.

"I offered him to go at the sauna, inaantok pa raw," tito teased.

"Tawag sa 'yo? Marupok," Trojan teased na kanilang ikinatawa.

I tried to smile upang sabayan sila. He probably said yes for the sake of his grandfather, there was nothing to take seriously.

I enjoyed dinner even if it was awkward for me. I excused myself immediately na sinabayan ni Math. They teased us again but I didn't feel anything special about it.

We walked out of the restaurant. The night got darker yet the resort was lightened by smiles and music.

"Okay ka na?" Math asked me as we walked towards the club.

"Oo," tipid kong sagot.

The wind blew again and my whole attention was on my dress. I was wearing a floral dress above the knee, pinigilan ko ang paggalaw nito upang hindi tumaas.

"Malapit na tayo sa club, do you want to change clothes first para komportable ka?" he asked me.

"No, this is fine," I answered at nauna muling maglakad.

I entered the club and Math was behind me. The music boomed every corner of the club. The dj was playing a hype song, making the people dance with the lights. I went to the counter and ordered myself a drink.

"You'll drink?" Math asked.

"Just beer at isa lang," I answered.

He nodded and ordered the same.

My attention got disturbed by the crowd from the stage. Ngayon ko lang din napansing tinigil ng dj ang tugtog. May lalaking nakatayo sa stage at may hawak na mikropono.

He was about to sing for the woman he loves, I know. We all cheered him up to let him continue his plan. He introduced himself and the woman he dedicated his song.

A familiar song played and as he started singing the first verse, everyone got stunned of his sincere voice.

I was smiling as I watched him sing his heart out for the only woman he loved.

So as long as I live I love you
Will have and hold you
You look so beautiful in white

Truly, his love looked gorgeous in her simple white dress. He grabbed her hand and they both went at the stage to dance slowly. Everyone cheered again for the couple.

"Kailan ninyo balak ni Arzyl magpakasal?" I asked Math as the couple ended the song.

He looked at me and for a while without answering.

"Hindi pa namin napag-uusapan," sagot niya.

I drank a gulp of my beer, "Pero may plano ka na, right?"

"Mayroon... but of course, we both need to plan it. Hindi pwedeng isa lang ang masusunod," he answered.

"Ayaw pa ba niya?" I asked.

He sighed.

"I just think na gusto niya munang mag-excel sa kanyang career before being wed," he answered.

I nodded, "Sabagay, kahit ako ay ganyan din."

"You're focused on yourself and that's good," he praised.

I chuckled, "No, I'm focused on my family. Gusto kong bumawi kaya... nag-aaral ako ng mabuti."

"The seven years really changed you, huh?" he noticed.

I nodded and looked away, "Maraming nangyari... na nagpagising sa akin."

"How was your youth? Did you enjoy moments of it?" he asked.

I nodded, "It wasn't perfect but it became important to me."

"That's... good to hear," he said.

I drank my beer again. Bumalik sa tahimik na lagay ang aming usapan.

"Are you bothered whenever I am near?" he suddenly asked.

I chuckled to hide the truth, "Bakit mo naman naitanong?"

"You always distance yourself from me," he answered.

"That's because we aren't close and there is no reason to come to you," I explained.

"I just feel like... you don't want me around because of what I've done before," he said.

"I'm already over it, Math. But, you know, things from broken pieces could be fixed yet not in the same way anymore," I said.

"I know... and I'm sorry for breaking you," he clearly said it.

It was dead long ago but it's all coming back to me
It's so hard to resist and it's all coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it's all coming back to me now

"Ano ka ba? Ayos na nga ako," I tried to add humor in it.

"I was so young back then. Before, did you know that I wanted you to explain so I won't have any reasons to stay away from you?" I opened up.

"I wanted you to explain why you ended the fraternity. I didn't want to believe myself that you used me. I wanted you to at least lie to me," I added.

"Hindi mo pa rin ba alam kung bakit ko iyon ginawa?" he asked me.

"No, bukod sa nahirapan akong maghanap ng rason, napagod na lang din ako," I answered.

"Your brothers knew it," he said.

I got stunned, "Really?"

"Yes. Sila dapat ang tatapos sa fraternity ninyo noon ngunit naunahan ko sila."

"Why did you end the fraternity?" I asked.

He sighed, "It was a fake fraternity, alright? You joined the fake one. Hindi iyon ang gang ng tito mo back then. It was a group of boys who wanted to kill you," he finally explained.

I felt like I finally found out the mystery my heart always wanted to know.

"You did it to?"

"To protect you," he answered.

I chuckled.

"Why didn't you tell me that time? Noong na sa likod tayo ng stage?" I asked.

He sighed.

"It wasn't the right time," he answered.

I only nodded.

I understood that it might not be the right time for us to talk about the truth. . . Ngunit hindi ko mapigilang manghinayang sa mga nasayang na panahon. If I had known earlier, we might still be friends today and happy.

But what was the point of regretting?

"Can we still... be friends?" I asked him.

I looked at him when he didn't answer. I caught him staring at me.

"No," he answered.

I shrugged.

"Okay," natatawa kong sabi kahit pa nasaktan.

"Because I never treated you as a... friend," he added.

I looked back at him again.

"I treated you differently, Lierre. Different," he said.

I nodded.

"But it was before, right?" I bravely asked.

He chuckled without humor.

"I hope so..." he trailed off.