Chapter 24 | Forget

M A T H

Ngayon ang itinakdang araw para sa solo quiz bee. Over the past days, I have come to know the true purpose of the two mysterious fraternities.

Ang nalaman na gang ni Detective Sillo ay ang gang na mismong pinamumunuan ng tito ni Lierre kung kaya't nagging mahirap ang paghanap ng mga impormasyon rito. They were secured and private na kinailangan pa naming magbuwis buhay upang makuha ang kailangan.

Ang kinabibilagang fraternity ni Lierre ay ang samahang may galit sa kanya at may laban sa tinayong fraternity ni Dominiko Zorron.

Si Lierre lang ang babae sa naturingang fraternity... kasi nga fraternity iyon! Nabiktima ng fake news ang batang ito. Ang mga lalaking kasama niya ay may galit sa kanya dahil puta—binasted sila ni Lierre. Bukod roon, isa pa sa mga mabababaw'ng rason nila'y nayayabangan ang mga ito kay Lierre.

Sa pagbuo ng gang ni Dominiko Zorron ay ang kasabay ng pagbuo ng fraternity na iyon. Plinano nilang pabilugin si Lierre. At ngayon, mukhang plano nilang patayin si Lierre.

I had already discovered the unanswered questions.

"Oh, nandito na bata mo, Math!" imporma ni Terrence.

Mabilis kong kinuha ang aking mga gamit at agad pinuntahan si Lierre na naghintay sa labas ng faculty room.

"Tara na," seryosong sabi ko.

Mukhang napapansin niya ang aking pagtrato ngayon.

"Problema mo?" tanong niya.

"Wala," masungit kong sagot.

Pinigilan kong ngumisi dulot ng kayang tanong. She knew something was off. Ramdam niyang may problema ako pero hindi ko dapat amining mayroon. Hindi dapat.

Sabay kaming pumasok sa library nang tahimik.

"Dito ka," bulong ko.

After one and a half hour, natapos ang kompetisyon na si Lierre ang panalo. Gusto kong ipakita sa kanyang proud na proud ako ngunit sinabi ko sa aking sariling huwag na lang.

Iiwan ko rin naman siya pagkatapos nitong lahat kaya dapat hindi ko na siya paasahin.

"Math, ang galing ng bata mo," puri ng isang guro sa akin.

"She was born with it, ma'am," sagot ni ko.

Nag-usap pa sila saglit nang napagdesisyunan na naming umalis. Trojan texted me na dalhin ko si Lierre sa bahay nila dahil ka-uusapin ito ng kanyang ina.

"Uh... okay ka lang?" tanong niya muli pagpasok namin sa aking sasakyan.

Tumango lamang ako.

"Dadalhin kita sa bahay ninyo. Ka-uusapin ka raw ng mama mo," I informed her.

"Ha? Oh sige," sagot niya, may bahid ng pag-aalinlangan.

"Uh, hihintayin mo ba ako?" tanong niya.

Tangina, huwag kang ngingiti Math!

"May gagawin pa ako. Magpahatid ka na lang," sagot ko nang makabawi.

"Sige," may pagkabigo sa kanyang tono.

Batid kong may lungkot sa kanyang tono. Why, Lierre? Why were you down? Who was I kidding? Of course, I hurt her. Gusto ko sanang bawiin ang aking sinabi dahil mukhang nasaktan nga siya rito.

Knowing her, mabilis siyang masaktan. Mabilis siyang ma-attach. Alam ko namang normal lang iyon sa mga ka-edaran niya. Normal lang na mabilis siyang... let's say, umasa. But, one thing was for sure, she would never show it.

I needed to know her for more information so I sometimes stalked her around while she was with someone else. I noticed, she had no particular group of friends but she talked a lot every minute. There was a time when I watched her alone in the back of their classroom during break time. She looked sad yet relaxed.

Noong siya'y kumanta para sa kanilang Music subject, the way her eyes sang wasn't her normal expression. She was hurt while singing. Maybe, it had a sentimental shit on her? But as she always did, she hid only the sadness after singing. 

I didn't know why I could even notice the small things in her. No matter how simple either her smile or silence was, it became important to me.

Of course, I came to the point where I was annoyed because of my actions. This was supposed to be a friendly help, ginusto ko lang namang maging maayos ang kanyang buhay... kaya hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit tila mas higit na ngayon ang aking rason.

"Fucking shit," mura ko sa aking sarili dahil naf-frustrate na naman.

I dialed Detective's number.

"Sir, pagplanuhan na natin ang gagawin sa mga iyon. I can't wait longer. I want them to learn," sabi ko nang sagutin ang aking tawag.

"Oh? Oh, sige. Na saan ka na ba? 'Di ba't magkikita tayo ngayon rito sa aking opisina?" he asked.

"Yes. Mamayang gabi na lang ulit, sir," kailangan kong balikan si Lierre.

My system betrayed me again. I wanted to go back to wait for her.

"Sige," ani detective, then ended the call.

I returned to the Zorron's house and parked my car on the far side of the gate. I decided to wait here instead. Sa tatlong minuto kong paghihintay, nakita ako ni Marcus.

"Oh? Andrei. Si Minah ba ang hinihintay mo?"

I nodded. Hindi kami close ni Marcus o kahit ni Trojan pero magkababata kami. Marcus was older than me so hindi ko siya nakaka-usap noon.

"Nandoon pa siya sa loob, sinisermonan," he said.

Hindi na ako nagulat doon. Talagang makatatanggap ng sermon ang tulad niyang...

"May I ask you something?" si Marcus.

"Yes. Of course," para akong kinabahan.

"How was Minah these days?" napahinga ako sa kanyang tanong.

Akala ko naman.

"She's doing great, actually. I found out na matalino siya and may talent," sagot ko.

Ngumiti naman si Marcus, proud sa kapatid. "Yes, she is! I'm shocked that you found out. Hindi siya open sa ibang tao at talagang mapagtago ang babaeng 'yon," sabi niya.

I noticed, too.

"Bakit ka lumabas? May pupuntahan?" may maitanong lang.

"Naah. Tara, sa loob mo na hintayin si Minah," aniya.

"Hindi na. Dito na lang," I defended.

Hindi niya ako pinilit. Ewan ko kung bakit hindi pa rin siya umalis dito sa aking harap. Nakatingin lamang si Marcus sa malayo at tila may gustong sabihin.

"Mukhang masaya sa iyo si Minah," sabi niya out of the blue.

Para akong nakuryente sa sinabi ng kaibigan. I wasn't nervous because I was scared of him or his family. I was actually scared of myself... for if we continue this conversation I may not be able to restrain myself.

"Ngayon na lang siya muling ngumiti ng ganoon. Ang huli ay noong unang taon niya sa grade seven, noong kasama pa niya ang mga bestfriends niya," dagdag nito.

I didn't response to it. Hell, I couldn't even feel my breathing.

"Hmm... my sister's growing up. Gusto ko siyang gabayan 'cause mom and dad are fucked up. Mula noong mga bata pa kami ni Trojan, hindi na kami tanggap ng mama ni papa. Kaya noong nagkaroon pa ng babaeng anak si mama, mas lalong uminit ulo ni lola dahil may pangalawang maldita't pokpok sa pamilya, opinyon ni lola," he shared.

I don't know why I was suddenly startled by what he was saying. It seemed like I was happy because I knew something about Lierre's life.

"Kaya ayon, hindi tinatrato ni lola si Minah na parang apo, hanggang ngayon. Para kasi kay lola, relationship breaker si Mama. Third wheel, ganoon. Kasi noon, patago lang ang relasyon nila ni papa dahil may fiancé si papa at iyon ay ang nanay ni Kye," paliwanag niya.

Kye? Iyong babae sa section one? Kaya pala nakita ko siya minsang sinundo ng papa ni Lierre.

"Kye's out of our league, actually. Hindi siya anak ni papa. But lola's still... Hay nako. Pinipilit pa rin ni lola hanggang ngayon na si tita Fye ang makatuluyan ni papa," bigo niyang sabi.

"Baka naman may sakit na lola ninyo? No offense," medyo natatawa kong sabi.

He chuckled, "Sana nga ganoon na lang pero hindi."

"Ewan ko ba kung bakit tinatrato ni papa ngayon si Kye na parang anak niya habang nandiyan naman si Lierre," he said, annoyed.

"And mama's busy with business. Sa amin ni Trojan, since we're older, okay lang naman pero s'yempre tao lang rin kami at minsan nakukulangan na sa atensyon, nakukulangan sa pagmamahal," dagdag niya.

"Kami ngang mas nakakatanda kay Minah, nasasaktan, paano pa kaya siya, 'di ba? Tangina lang. And then, now, she's smiling again because of... you," his annoyed tone became dangerous.

"Are you attracted to my sister?" seryosong tanong niya.

This was the question I have been struggling with lately! Itatanong niya rin pala, pinahaba pa niya.

Denying wouldn't lead me into a better path. Marcus was Lierre's brother and I knew he only asked me because of his concerns. I didn't want to answer honestly because he wasn't Lierre, para na rin kasi akong umamin nito.

"Yes, I am," sagot ko.

I couldn't look straight in his eyes not because of fear but because it felt wrong. Obviously, Marcus found it earlier, he just remained silent about it.

"Mabilis mahulog ang kanyang loob—"

"I know," mabilis kong tugon.

"Mabilis siyang masaktan—"

"I know."

"Alam mo pala. Sana hindi ka na gumawa ng kung ano-ano na ikaka-asa niya," he said.

"Unless you're serious. Mas matanda ka sa kapatid ko. Hindi naman sa kontra ako sa long age gap relationships pero tangina bata pa ang kapatid ko," aniya.

"Sa totoo lang, Marcus, plano ko siyang layuan pagkatapos ng araw na ito. Kung hindi ako lalayo, mas lalo ko lamang siya paaasahin. Buti sana kung sigurado ako pero hindi. Yes, I am attracted. I find her lovely pero hindi ako sigurado," I explained.

"I know I sound like a jerk but I am aware of my actions, Marcus. Ignoring her would be the best decision to do. I don't want to cage or pressure her kaya..."

"I understand. Kahit naman para sa akin, mas mabuti ngang layuan mo siya," he said.

"Anong plano ninyo sa fraternity niya?" he asked out of the sudden.

I was stunned, "You know about it?"

He chuckled, "What do you think of us, idiots? We've been observing you and Minah. Imposibleng lalapitan mo ang kapatid naming dahil lang sa simpleng kompetisyon."

My brows arched, "Kailan ninyo pa nalaman ang tungkol sa fraternity niya?"

He shrugged, "We knew it before you did."

I felt irritated, "Bakit hindi ninyo ginawan ng kilos?"

Marcus smirked, "Your men distracted ours. Nalaman ni Trojan na may sumusolba na ng problema at nalaman naming ikaw iyon."

"You could've offered some help," I said.

"We will, when things become messy, don't worry. We want to see how far you can go for our sister," he said playfully.

Natapos ang aming usap dahil tinulungan ko siyang buhatin ang mga kaka-deliver lang na gamit.

I heard noises from the second floor kaya sinubukan kong silipin iyon. They were arguing and Kye was there, on the floor. Nang bumaba si Lierre ay sinundan ko siya. Nahirapan akong dalhin siya sa sasakyan dahil umiyak na naman siya.

This girl deserved all the happy things in this life. I hope she would find those after this issue. I wanted her to bloom, not just to grow. I wanted her to live and not just survive this life.

Detective Sillo called at the middle of the night, as if I wasn't waiting for it. Ang tawag niya ang hinintay ko buong araw.

"Nandito na," he simply said.

I knew, I saw it on the camera.

"Be there at five," I said and ended the call.

I stayed at the nearest safe place while waiting and operating the plan. I thanked all the saints that it became successful. I immediately knocked the secret code to let me in. The door slowly opened and there I saw a boy, looked drugged and high.

"Ikaw pala ang mastermind," iritado ngunit may otoridad kong sabi sa tanginang gagong 'to na nagpasimula ng fraternity.

Tumawa siya na parang nababaliw, "Mamamatay si Zorron! Hintayin mo lang!"

If I were to ask, I would kill it instead of being imprisoned. We called the police and they immediately responded nang natanggap ang aming signal. 

November 27.

Ginanap ang awarding program ng mga nanalo sa Math month. Pinasalita rin ako tungkol sa fraternity'ng nahuli.

"You!" rinig ko ang kanyang sigaw galing sa aking likod.

Nilingon ko siya't nakitang tinaggal ang maskara'ng suot. Of course, I knew she was the girl who sung such song. Seeing her furiously disappointed of me broke my soul. I knew she had the wrong idea of it yet I couldn't explain more.

"What the hell?! Anong ginawa mo?" galit na galit siya at wala akong magawa kung hindi panoorin lamang siya.

"What? What I did was just right-"

"Fuck you!"

"Hindi kita pinagsamantalahan tulad ng inisip mo noon-" I tried to reason out kahit pa alam kong mali.

"But you used me for informations. You reasoned that fucking quiz bee para mapalapit sa akin! You blackmailed me so I could surrender. You bumped my weak side to earn my feelings. Inalam mo ang mga kahinaan ko para dito!" Sabi niya.

"Fine. Yes. I used you but not the way you thought!" depensa ko.

"Still, you used me for your own sake!" she yelled.

"Ginamit mo ako dahil gusto mong ipamukha kay Danah na nagkamali siya ng binasted!" she declared.

"Pati ang fraternity namin ginalaw mo dahil gustong gusto mo ng mga puri," she concluded.

I sighed because I couldn't speak anymore. I didn't want to tell her the truth. I didn't want her to know what I did because I was going to avoid her.

I needed to hear her words. I needed to accept her blames. I needed to memorize her face for the last time because I knew it would be a long road ahead.

"I only did what was right, Lierre," I said, giving up the young attraction I felt.

Now, I didn't know if I'd succeed in forgetting her.