WARNING!!! This cartoon is for Adults!

Viewer/Reader Discretion is Advised!!

...

...

...

3rd Person POV

The sounds of the busy streets from honking cars to yelling people of Imp City in Hell were in contrast to the slow and quiet day that I.M.P. Headquarters was facing in their large, condemned building with giant horns on the sides.

Just outside the company's office, a paper sign is hung on the door that reads "Meeting in progress" with a smiley face drawn next to it while inside, a whiteboard on the wall that has "FIX THIS SHIT!!" written on it along with some bar graphs and other doodles as Blitzø, the head of the company, a tall imp with a long tattered collared coat, knee-high heeled boots, fingerless gloves, and wearing a red skull charm around his neck addresses the four employees sitting at the long table in the room,

"Alright. Now, I know business has been... a bit slow lately, yes. It's no one's fault, okay? I'm not naming any names here... Moxxie..."

The last part was not-so-subtly directed to the other male imp at the table with short white hair wearing a classy coat over a black turtleneck with matching pants, a large red bowtie, and fingerless gloves as he gave his boss an incredulous look as he continued speaking,

"Now, does anyone have... any bright ideas on how we can get business drummin' up again?"

Millie, a female imp wearing a black cold-shoulder crop top with golden-yellow buttons at the straps, torn black pants, black fingerless gloves, a black choker around her neck, and black toeless footwear that showed her hoof-like toes, bolted up with her hand raised as she suggested with her eyes sparkling in excitement,

"What about a car wash?"

"This is Hell, Millie. No one cares about cars being clean here, okay?" Blitzø pointed out.

"What about a bake sale?" Ayden, a hellcat demoness, with short, wild, red-tipped hair, a feline face complete with spotted whiskers, cat ears with multiple piercings in each one, and glowing "freckles" under her eyes with bright pinkish red irises, wearing a red cut-out crop top with a black hole image on the front, black buckled shorts with trench coat-like skirt flaps, a choker with a silver locket and pinkish gemstone on it, and a mid-sized metal shackle on her left wrist.

"Oh sure and while we're at it ~we can get new uniforms for our team~" Blitzø spoke in a high-pitched child's voice before smacking the table to argue, "What are we fucking five?! Plus knowing you, you'd eat all the profits..."

Ayden shrugged with a sly smile as she kicked her feet onto the table, her chain anklet jingling as she did so, with her hands behind her head as she commented nonchalantly,

"Gave it a try."

Making Blitzø give her a deadpan look before he thought for himself and suggested with stars in his eyes while waving his hands out for dramatic flair,

"Ooh! What about a billboard?"

"We can't afford a billboard, sir." Moxxie pointed out while rolling his eyes making Blitzø go over to him to wrap an arm around his shoulder to tell him sarcastically,

"Helpful, Moxxie. Really glad you're in the room right now."

Before shoving him away to ask them all,

"Have you guys forgotten what service we provide?"

Producing a TV remote, he turns on the TV in the meeting room to reveal an ad for their company that shows the I.M.P. crew brutally murdering people from the Living World as they are paid to do; Blitzø whacks a man in the face with a mallet, Moxxie is blown away firing a shotgun through the mouth of a man tied to a chair, Loona swings a man back and forth in her jaws, and Millie decapitates someone with a harpoon before laughing gleefully.

As everyone's watching the ad, Blitzø pulls a bowl of popcorn seemingly out of nowhere so almost all of them can munch on it before he sighed wistfully,

"Ahh, those were the good times..."

"Still don' get why I coul'n't be in it..." Ayden grumble-pouted with her arms crossed as she stuffed her mouth full of popcorn.

"Cause you're the stealth expert," Blitzø booped Ayden on the nose making her swat and hiss at him as he continued, "People don't know you exist so you can do your job better. 'Sides you've only been with us for barely a month."

Ayden screwed her eyes in a narrow glare but didn't agree or disagree with that statement and reasoning.

"Speaking of jobs, I don't need any reminding, sir. Considering you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week. One that you then additionally paid to have run for a full three hours on a channel... nobody watches." Moxxie reminded him that he argued back with,

"Uh, hey. Excuse me? What's 'obnoxious' about a super-fun jingle, alright? It's a fun distraction when an advertisement's spittin' bullshit!"

"People love musicals, sir." Millie encouraged and Blitzø agreed with,

"Exactly, Millie! And we're basically doin' a musical." He made jazz hands before questioning Moxxie in faux disappointment, "Are you gonna crush my musical theatre dreams like my dad did?"

"Sir-" Moxxie tried to argue but was cut off with,

"'Cause, right now? All I see is just my dad's asshole talking to me! Crushing my dreams of being who I truly am inside..."

"Are you tryin' to crush his dreams, Moxxie?" Millie teased him making him sputter,

"I-What?"

"I thought I knew you." Millie leaned over to him while speaking in mock disbelief with a hint of flirtatiousness.

"Not cool man." Ayden smirks with a cheeky tongue sticking out making Moxxie roll his eyes at the two of them.

"I can't believe you, Moxxie!" Blitzø spoke tearfully while holding up a rather unflattering photo of Moxxie as he argued, "After I made you Employee of the Month!"

"Okay, sir!" Moxxie spoke up in a defeated tone as he "apologized," "I'm sorry; a commercial jingle is not comparable to musical theatre. Nobody actually likes the jingles!"

"I liked it." Millie spoke up and Ayden agreed with her,

"Me too."

"Do not-" Moxxie told his wife while pointing at her, "Do not agree with him in front of me! That goes for you too."

Pointing at Ayden to which she just sticks her tongue out at him again.

(AN- This is one of the very few times I'll be leaving the script the same with only minor edits)

"Hi, there! I'm Blitzø! The 'o' is silent, and I'm the founder of I.M.P.!"

He gestures to the logo as it appears on screen, then disappears.

Two pictures of Blitzø in different scenarios show while he speaks. The first shows him wearing two top hats through his horns, a monocle, and twiddling a fake mustache, while standing outside of a burning building with a sign that reads "Orphanage for Elderly Blind Newborn Dogs" appears.

The second shows Blitzø wearing an angel costume at a coffeehouse happily throwing an empty coffee cup in a trash can, instead of the recycling bin right next to it.

"Are you a piece of shit that got yourself sent to Hell, or are you an innocent soul who got FUCKED over by someone else?!"

The commercial cuts to a demon guy wearing an Ohio sports jersey, giving a testimonial, while Blitzø holds a cardboard sign in a frame that reads "Some guy who hired us!!"

"After lovingly killing my wife for fucking the delivery man, you can imagine my surprise when I wound up here, after the state of Ohio killed me! I really wish I could stick it to that yappy jogger who saw me hiding the body!

Blitzø is speaking to the camera and holding a grimoire, while Moxxie and Millie are arranging lit candles on the floor in a pentagram. While he speaks, his eyes narrow as he does a magical gesture with his hand and a flaming portal appears on the floor. Moxxie and Millie run off in surprise. He tosses the grimoire away as he walks up to the portal.

"Well, luckily for you. Thanks to our company's special access to the living world, we can help you take care of your unfinished business by taking out anyone who screwed you over when you were alive!"

The scene transitions to a person with their arms crossed and a thought bubble appears depicting another person being crossed out as the commercial jingle plays in the background.

♫ When you want somebody gone, ♫

A dead body falls near the person as they notice and look up.

♫ and you don't want to wait too long ♫

Moxxie, Blitzø, and Millie are shown in a circle logo. Blitzø holds his arms out as Moxxie holds up his rifle and Millie holds up her spear. A letter "I" appears to the left of them, while a letter "P" appears on the right of them. The trio together form the letter "M", thus spelling the initials I.M.P.

♫ call the Immediate Murder Professionals! ♫

Blitzø, Moxxie, and Millie are inside of their building and Moxxie throws a grenade out the window. The trio covers where their ears would be as an explosion goes off. A severed arm goes flying.

♫ Hand grenade or cyanide, ♫

Blitzø is shown hanging someone with a rope as Millie finishes writing a suicide note.

♫ We'll make it look like suicide ♫

Blitzø is shown electrocuting someone, Millie is shown hitting someone on the head with a mace, and Moxxie is shown strangling someone.

♫ The Immediate Murder Professionals! ♫

The I.M.P. logo spins around quickly as the scene transitions to Blitzø creating a portal to the living world in a wall and then jumping through it. He is followed by Millie and then Moxxie, who trips over the grimoire and falls into the portal.

♫ We do our job so well, ♫

The trio come up through the other end of the portal and adjust themselves.

♫ Because, we come straight out from Hell! ♫

The I.M.P. trio suddenly look shocked as it appears they have accidentally teleported to a church in the middle of a service. A female preacher and the congregation look back at the demons in confusion and/or fear. One bearded man, however, has his head laid back as he sleeps with earbuds in.

Millie is shown struggling to remove a knife from a naked couple who are in 69 position, while Moxxie tries to look away, and Blitzø examines a pair of panties.

♫ We'll kill your husband or your wife ♫

Blitzø stabs someone tied to a chair repeatedly in the head while sporting a goofy expression.

♫ We'll even let you keep the knife ♫

A quick sequence then shows the trio assassinating their targets in numerous horrific ways, such as with a medieval torture chamber, riding a shark, burning someone alive, suffocating someone with a pillow, playing on a grand piano after it crushed someone, and using an electric chair. In the final scene, the trio are hiding in a bush in a park and Moxxie is about to shoot a blonde woman looking at her phone from behind.

♫ We're the Immediaaaaate... Murderrrrrr... Profession- ♫

Moxxie accidentally shoots a boy passing by, eating an ice cream cone.

"AUUUGH!"

The boy collapses as Moxxie looks on in shock. Blitzø and Millie turn their eyes to Moxxie in surprise.

Cuts to a hospital operating room. The boy is wheeled in on a hospital bed by a doctor, a pink-haired nurse, and a blue-haired nurse.

"Doctor, he's not responding!" A pink-haired nurse speaks in a masculine voice.

"Cool water, stat!" A blue-haired nurse spoke in a high-pitched voice.

The pink-haired nurse whacks the boy in the face with a bucket of water, doing nothing but leaving a large welt on his face.

"It didn't do anything!"

The boy's tongue flops out from his mouth.

"Dammit! I'm not losing another one." The doctor urges as everyone has their defibrillator paddles over the boy.

"CLEAR!"

They all zap the boy and he wakes up with a gasp,

"HAAH!"

"Holy shit! It actually worked."

Blitzø, Millie, and Moxxie are waiting outside the boy's hospital room. Blitzø is reading a magazine, while Millie comforts Moxxie, who looks devastated. The doctor comes out of the room with a clipboard.

"He appears to be in stable condition, but he'll need surgery. Now, what insurance provider do you freaks have?" The doctor reports before asking,

"The fuck is insurance?" Blitzø questions in disbelief.

A shot of the outside of the hospital is shown, as a window breaks and the boy's hospital bed flies out. The boy is unconscious in the bed, while Millie, Moxxie, and Blitzø are holding on for dear life as they plummet screaming to the ground. The bed is stopped by a rope that has become tangled around Blitzø's foot. Blitzø slams his face into the bed, the rope snaps, and they all continue to fall.

A still shot of the I.M.P. logo is shown.

♫ Kids die for freeeeeee! ♫

Back in the meeting room, Millie, Moxxie, and Ayden are sitting across from Loona as she watches a video of Moxxie getting hurt or killed in different ways as he announces,

"I'd like to go on record and say that incident was Loona's fault. Dispatch is supposed to give us the right info on the target. It's very simple."

"Oh, sit on a dick, Moxxie." Loona tells him without even looking up at him.

"You sit! Sit on-a-and the-d-DO YOUR JOB!!" Moxxie struggles to make a comeback resigning to quickly order her before Blitzø argues,

"Hey, now. We don't blame our screw ups on Loona, okay?!"

Going over to her to hug and nuzzle her even as she snarled at him at the invasion of her personal space even as he crooned,

"~She didn't do anything wrooooong~"

Making Moxxie give off an incredulous look as he protested,

"Are you kidding me, sir? She's awful!"

"Gonna hafta agree wih'em on that one." Ayden spoke up, giving the hellhound a narrow-eyed glare.

A quick flashback to when Loona was sitting at the receptionist's desk with a magazine of "Hellhound Monthly" before the desk phone rang with a cute puppy barking ringtone and she answered it without even looking up with a blank,

"Hello, I.M.P."

'Loona, I got stabbed! Call Mox- *CLICK*' Millie urged in a panicked tone before Loona cut her off by hanging up and going back to reading.

Another time, she is in Blitzø's office as he presents her with a gift while cooing,

"Happy Adoption Anniversary, Loonie! ~I got you a little somethin'.~"

"Is it a cure for syphilis?" She questioned bluntly.

"I... Oh..." Blitzø's smile fell when he realized he didn't get what she wanted.

"THEN, I DON'T WANT IT!" Loona snatched the present out of his hands and slammed it to the floor before a cluster of spiders crawled out and covered Loona up to her neck as she grunted in annoyance.

"UGHHH!"

"I'm sorry! It was spiders!" Blitzø told her as he was suddenly outside the window.

"Goddammit." Loona deadpanned as a spider dropped down from her nose while a couple of others danced around on her head.

In another flashback, Ayden is seen blissfully napping on the couch cushions in hellcat form with her tail swaying lazily around before she's roughly picked up by the scruff of her neck and tossed into the newly added electric eel tank where the water, along with the eels, shocked her awake and she screeched and practically rocketed out landing on all fours back in her demon cat form, soaking wet, rigid, wide-eyed, and shivering.

When she saw Loona lying across the couch where she had previously been, her fur spiked up in anger and she quickly shook herself more or less dry before growling as she stomped over to the hellhound,

"What the actual fuck Loona?!"

"I needed you to move your cat ass off..." Loona deadpanned as she continued scrolling through her phone without even taking her eyes off the screen.

"Last I checked I was 'ere first ya slagger!" Ayden yelled, pointing in Loona's face, making her look up at her with her eyes practically glowing in anger.

The two of them started practically growling and hissing in each other's faces before the two started fighting, kicking up a cartoony cloud of dust in a cacophony of yowls and growls coming from both feline and canine.

Blitzø stuck his head out from his office to yell,

"The fuck's going on out-?!"

Pausing when he saw the fight going on between Loona and Ayden as Loona was trying to pull Ayden by her tail out of her hair where she was trying to burrow in and retreated back into his office, slammed the door shut behind him, and locked it for good measure before waving it off with,

"I'm sure they'll work everything out."

*KRSH!*

"MMMRROOOOOW!"

The sound of a window breaking and a feline yowl sounded from the other side of the door.

In another flashback, Loona is at her desk watching the live stream of Charlie Magne performing "Inside of Every Demon is a Rainbow" when Moxxie approaches her with a flier for "Chub B Gone."

"Um, e-excuse me. Did you just fax me an ad for weight loss?" He questioned in disbelief.

"No."

"Wha-Why-Why would anyone send me this?"

"C'mon..." Loona looked up at Moxxie, "You know why."

Another time Loona was seen rummaging face-first through the break room fridge as she announced with a slight slur,

"Whoever left the fucking... avocado salad in the fridge, I'm taking it, because I have the worst hangover right now!"

Taking out a red container and kicked the door shut with her foot while ripping off and tossing away the lid before pouring the whole thing into her mouth as Millie questioned,

"Why would you drink on a work night?"

"I'm hungover from this morning, dumbass!" She retorted back after she finished drinking the whole thing down just before Moxxie came into the room and noticed Loona with his box as he asked,

"Isn't that my lunch?"

"Y'know what?!" Loona snapped as she dropped the box on the floor, "I can't take this assault right now! I need to blow off some fucking steam!"

Kicking the box at Moxxie hard enough to send him flying back before she runs out of the breakroom right out into the street screaming,

"AAAAAAAAAAH!"

Right before she runs up to a demon lady passing by on the other side of the street who was pushing her baby in a stroller before kicking the stroller high into the air and storming off, while the mother stands there in disbelief at what just happened.

Approaching the building, Ayden watched Loona stomp off before commenting to no one in particular,

"She's blotto."

Later on, Loona is at her desk calling out to Blitzø with the phone in her hand,

"Bliiiiitzø! That clingy, rich asshole is on the phone! Says it's urgent and wants to talk to you! Sounds a little DTF-y."

Blitzø, Moxxie, and Ayden were by the water cooler as Blitzø threw down his cup of water to yell,

"Oh, GOD, it was one time!" Before crossing his arms to reason, "And if I hadn't slept with that privileged asshole, none of us would have access to the living world."

Leaving Moxxie to stare in disbelief before asking,

"...You what?"

"Still say ya shoulda let me steal it..." Ayden brought up before she added with a grimace, "Then ya woul'n't hafta deal wi'h the root rat."

Another flashback reveals the morning after Blitzø slept with Stolas as he slept naked in bed with feathers scattered throughout the sheets, snoring with the occasional 'hoot' as Blitzø, only wearing his coat and boxers, snuck away with a large ornate book in his hands chanting to himself,

"~Got the booook, got the booook!~ ~Got this fuckin' heavy book!~"

As he reached the balcony about to step onto the ledge to jump down, he misjudged just how heavy the book was and it ended up dragging him over the edge with a yell,

"Oh-Oh, SHIT!!"

Landing down below on a cake splattering an owl demon with two of her friends with icing and tea they were currently drinking.

"AAAHHH-OOF!" Blitzø looked up and realized the owl demon was Stolas' wife Stella and apologized,

"Sorry, I fucked your husband."

Cutting back to Loona as she yelled at Blitzø,

"BLIIIITZØ!"

Making him yell back,

"I HEARD YOU ALREA-!"

Before it cuts to Blitzø taking the call from Stolas in his office as he asks him while playing with a bobblehead of Moxxie,

"Sooooo, what can I do you for this time, Stolas?"

Stolas, a tall owl demon with gray-blue feathers, two sets of red eyes with no pupils, and long black-tipped tail feathers, wearing a deep red tunic, a feathery tophat with a gold crown encircling it, as well as a long burgundy cape with a fur collar, and long black gloves with white feathered trims at the elbows, is shown taking the call on an antique rotary phone in his palace as he tells Blitzø,

"There's a political candidate causing trouble up on Earth for a few of my associates. He's trying to convince people global warming exists!"

"Doesn't it?" Blitzø argues.

"Well... yes. But, more people die if nothing is done about it." Stolas admits before teasing, "~And it gets lonely here~"

"Okay, well. Yeah, that makes sense."

'You know what happens when I'm lonely, Blitzy?' Stolas' voice is heard through the phone while Blitzø mutters to himself away from it,

"God-fuckin'-dammit."

"When I'm lonely, I become hungry. And when I become hungry, I want to choke on that red *BLEEP* of yours... *BLEEP* your *BLEEP* and lick all of your *BLEEP*, before taking out your *BLEEP*, and *BLEEP* with more teeth until you're screaming *BLEEP* like a FUCKING baby-!"

Stolas' erotic rant leaves Blitzø visibly disturbed before he finally hangs up, snaps his phone in half, smashes the halves under the desk phone, takes those pieces, and blends them into a liquid before passing it over to Loona telling her as she drank it,

"Eat this! And then y'know that bridge over the freeway?"

"Yeah?" Loona answered with a raised eyebrow.

"Shit off it!"

Back to the present, Blitzø is still defending his adoptive daughter as he tells Moxxie and Ayden,

"Look, the point is, Loona is a valued member of our family, and we don't get rid of family."

Loona looked up from her phone with a slight smile before Moxxie argued,

"We aren't a family, sir! You are the boss! We are the employees! You treat her like she's some troubled teenager! She's more like a meth-addicted homeless woman you let man the phones!"

In the middle of Moxxie's rant, Loona slowly raises her arm to flip him off without taking her eyes off her phone before Blitzø declares,

"That is offensive! Without homeless people," Walking over to the window to raise the blinds to assert, "I wouldn't have HALF the joy and laughter I do in this life!"

Before putting his face right up to the window to peer down at a sad homeless demon holding up a sign that read "Monee helps. Satan bless." while a succubus on the phone rolls her eyes and turns away from him.

While Blitzø smugly waved at him, Ayden's tail was seen flicking agitatedly under the table while puffing up but she managed to grab it to subtly smoothen it back down until Blitzø finally lowered the window blinds right as Moxxie brought up,

"While we're on the subject of 'family', " Making air quotes with his hands around 'family' before demanding, "Can you stop finding me and Millie outside of work and dragging her along?"

The last part was directed to Ayden as he pointed at her while she just gave him a cheeky smile.

"Come on, sweetie! It's not that big a deal!" Millie tried to assure her husband but he just made a shocked face as he protested,

"Excuse me... WHAT?!"

A flashback reveals the couple in their kitchen preparing dinner as Moxxie asks Millie,

"Honey, can you get me the butter?"

"Sure, sweetie." She answers as she opens the fridge door before finding Blitzø inside as he hands her the gross and liquidy glob of butter,

"Spoiler alert: the butter's spoiled!"

Millie looked only mildly disturbed before she giggled slightly causing Moxxie to ask her while tossing some diced carrots into the soup,

"What's funny, honey?"

"Really impressive wordplay." Blitzø answers as it's revealed he's sitting in the fridge making Moxxie yell,

"WHAT THE-?! WHY ARE YOU IN OUR FRIDGE?!?!"

"If you think this is cool you should see where the kid's hiding."

"WHAT?! Where-?!" He started to yell before he heard the microwave ding, and slowly turned to face it since he and Millie didn't turn it on and threw the door open to find a hellcat loafing inside with the air slightly warmed as she cheerfully greeted,

"Hey-o!"

"AAAAHHHH!" Moxie screamed while pulling at his hair.

Another time at night, Millie and Moxxie are shown to be asleep before Moxxie starts tossing and turning at the sound of a cat purring and he slowly blinks his eyes open to see Blitzø standing over him, his face practically inches from him as he stares unblinking at him before asking him,

"Whatcha dreamin' about?"

"I was dreaming my parents were being murdered, but now... I'd like to go back to that." Moxxie answered before sighing, "At least this time Ayden's not-"

He was cut off when the sound of a toilet flushing went off and the door to the bathroom opened to reveal Ayden as she hooked a thumb behind her to tell Moxxie,

"By the way, yer outta toilet paper."

A peek around her revealed that it had all just been unraveled from the roll along with every other spare roll in a messy heap on the floor of the bathroom with signs of scratching and tearing.

Moxxie's eye twitches repeatedly making Ayden grin sheepishly with her hands raised in a 'sorry?' manner.

On another occasion, the couple is seen singing a song and harmonizing with Moxxie playing the guitar.

♫ Of all the imps in Hell, ♫

♫ It's for him/her that I fell ♫

♫ ~Oh, Millie~ ♫

The two closed their eyes and were about to kiss when Moxxie saw Blitzø outside their window with a camcorder in his hand as he yelled,

"Are you fucking filming us right now?!"

Back in the meeting room, Moxxie demands his boss,

"Just. Stop. Doing that!"

"I don't see what the issue is!" Blitzø shrugged nonchalantly before questioning cheekily with a wide smile, "There somethin' you don't want me seein'?

"No!" Moxxie growls, his eye twitching slightly.

"You a baby-wiener-haver?" Blitzø mocks him while Loona snickers slightly on the side and Ayden just moans while sinking in her seat, upset and uncomfortable that the conversation was going in that direction.

"Sir, what you say and how you act is totally INAPPROPRIATE!" Moxxie started to say before yelling as he stood up from his chair.

"Calm down, Mox! You're gonna have another panic attack!" Millie tries to calm her husband with a hand on his shoulder but he yells again,

"I AM CALM!"

Before whimpering in anger, glaring at Blitzø as Millie started to comfort him while rubbing his head and soothing,

"Shh-shh-shh. There, there."

"Look, I don't judge the boring couple stuff you do outside work hours." Blitzø uses his hands to imply sexual activity, making Ayden uncomfortable enough to tug her short hair over her face with a muffled moan as he crosses his arms to huff, "So, don't judge me!

"Oh, I do judge you, sir! Quite a lot, actually!" Moxxie declared before Millie mildly reprimanded him,

"Mox, he's our boss!"

"No no no, it's fine Mills, your husband is just... how do I say this without being offensive?" Blitzø pretended to think for a second before saying with a smug smile, "Retarded."

"That's the li'eral pinnacle of offensive." Ayden deadpanned as she finally uncovered her face before Moxxie questioned with a slight jab,

"Does immaturely insulting me make you feel better about your sad, single life?"

"It actually does." Blitzø answered without skipping a beat just as Loona cut in with,

"The only reason you have a wife is because you're easy to manage!"

Making Millie slam her hands on the table as she snapped at Loona angrily,

"No, he's not, you BITCH!"

Flipping Loona off making her growl back just before Ayden added in,

"Oh why don't ya go back to your cell scrolling ya mindless mongrel!"

"Do not talk to my receptionist that way! She's sensitive!" Blitzø scolded Millie and Ayden before Loona snapped at them,

"Yes, I am!"

"You guys are all fucking assholes." A new voice sounded and they all looked up to see the kid Moxxie shot earlier laying on the medical cot and attached to a heart monitor with his eyes open and looking angrily annoyed.

Blitzø, Moxxie, Millie, Loona, and Ayden's eyes all widen in surprise before Blitzø snapped at him,

"Oh, shut up, kid! You're lucky to witness this!"

"Ugh, this company is such a mess!" Moxxie sighed while pinching the bridge of his nose and Ayden snarked,

"Yer just realizin' this?"

"Alright, let's get back to talking about my outfit." Blitzø tried to assert before Loona argued,

"Nobody was talking about that!"

"Which is why I'm tryin' to get that ball rolling. So, how does it look? It's good, right?" Blitzø admitted while motioning to his suit before Eddie, the kid, snapped while ripping off the tubes from his chest,

"It's been a literal hell having to pretend to be paralyzed so you fuckshits wouldn't kill me! But, now I want that. I want deeeeaaaath!"

Dramatically clutching his head back before he pointed to Blitzø as he ranted,

"You are a selfish, greedy clown. And I'm a kid! We're supposed to like clowns! Even the creepy ones!"

"Hey, now! That's not very-" Moxxie tried to stop him before Eddie cut him off with,

"If I wanted to hear from a spineless jackass, I'd rip out your spine and ask you some shit."

Intimidating him enough to make Millie slam her hand on the table again to defend her husband while gesturing to him,

"That's my husband you're talkin' to!"

"HAHAHAHAHA! That's your husband?!"

The couple growl at Eddie as he mocks her,

"I figured you for a slut. But, I didn't know you needed dick that bad!"

Before pointing to Loona as he shouted,

"And you!"

"What? What about me?" She looked up from her phone to hear whatever he was about to say when he crossed his arms and looked haughtily away as he argued,

"Nothing. I don't talk to dogs. I'm a cat person. Unless that cat is nothing but a prude-y pussy with her own tail so far up her ass it might as well be back home Down Under."

Looking at Ayden at the end of his statement and she and Loona held matching looks of wide-eyed, slightly twitching, glares before Loona went back to scrolling on her phone and Ayden's claws unsheathed themselves as Blitzø stated,

"Wow. Ah, y'know, kid, you kind of are a piece of shit."

Everyone softly agreed in unison,

"Yeah."

"Definitely."

"He's kind of a piece of shit."

"And for your information you little dickhead I'm Aroace!" Ayden stood up to declare but Eddie just taunted her with,

"Yeah right, with the way you dress, you're just asking to get pounded ~in more ways than ooooone.~"

"Grrrrrr..." Ayden growled as both paws were now carving lines in the table and her tail was straight as a board behind her, puffed up in agitation, before a rock song-sounding ringtone went off and Loona announced,

"Oh, fuck! Guys, I just got a text from our client! Guess he was the right target after all."

"Who?" Blitzø asked and Loona pointed to Eddie answering,

"Him."

"Me?" Eddie questioned in disbelief.

"Yup." Loona answered smugly without looking up from her phone.

"They wanted us to kill an actual child?" Blitzø clarified and Loona gave the affirmative,

"That's what they're sayin'."

"Well, Christ on a stick. I guess there is a God." Blitzø pulls out his signature golden percussion pistol but, just before he can pull the trigger, a flash of brown and red zips by with a hiss,

*HSSSS!*

Before Ayden was seen looming over the child with her claws in the air,

*SHHHLLL!*

Just before she delivered a flurry of scratches to Eddie's chest and neck with her claws.

"AAAAHHHH-glcck!" Eddie gives out one last scream as the telltale sound of Ayden's slash attack that leaves her victims choking on their own blood sounds before she yanks out his heart from his ripped-up chest and begins feasting on it.

Once she finished devouring the heart, Ayden went about innocently licking clean her paws of the human blood coating them before she saw the others watch her with morbid fascination and straight-up horror so she licked her chops clean in one lick to question,

"What? He was a dickwad."

Everyone agreed again with that statement before they all decided to get in on desecrating the corpse: Blitzø and Moxxie kicking it, Millie stabbing it, Ayden slapping his face with her tail, and Loona recording everything on her phone.

*Y'know, folks? With this company, I really wanted to prove that we're capable of doing the same things anyone else can. Like killing people!* Blitzø's voice is heard in the foreground as I.M.P. gets to work "taking care" of Eddie's body.

Blitzø and Moxxie, both wearing yellow hazard suits, start dismembering Eddie's body with a hacksaw and chainsaw respectively before everyone starts putting the body parts in a garbage bag by the dumpster in the alley outside.

*So, from us here at the Immediate Murder Professionals group, we promise to settle your unfinished business or your money... is gone and you're never getting it back, and you can write us a bad review but we'll play dumb to it because it's Hell and no one fuckin' cares.*

Once they finish bagging up the body, Blitzø pulls everyone into a hug before telling them all while wrapping them all with his tail,

"Y'know, even though this kid was a target... he's still a child. And it's important that we handle this going forward respectfully."

The group smiles before the scene cuts to the Living World where a bored reporter is interviewing Eddie's mother as she holds up a bad drawing of her son and begs tearfully,

"Ple-e-ease! If anyone has seen my little Eddie, please contact us at-OHHH!"

Just before Eddie's body falls from the sky and Eddie's mother and the reporter look up in shock to see a portal in the sky where Blitzø, Moxxie, Millie, and Ayden are seen looking down at them.

"You're welcome!" Blitzø waved before Ayden yelled down while flipping double birds,

"Mother of the Year!"

Just before the portal closed behind them all.

6550 Words

Lengthy AN- Hey all you Ladies, Gentlemen, and Non-Binary Specimen!

Welcome to my birthday gift to you all; a new fanfic series for my latest obsession, Helluva Boss! If you don't already know what that is, it's an American adult animated web series on YouTube created by Vivienne Medrano aka VivziePop, and produced by SpindleHorse Toons that I highly recommend checking out if you haven't already.

I got into the fandom over the summer after a friend of mine recommended it to me and I full-on binged the show a week after "Western Energy" came out and just fell in love with the animation, the characters and their relationships, and yes while the innuendos and sexual implications made me a bit uncomfortable at first but, like with Harley Quinn and other adult shows, I got used to it after a while.

Shortly after, I decided to do what I pretty much always do after watching a new movie or show and created an OC for it and thus Ayden was born! However, after reading some other peoples' fanfics I saw that some elements were overly used such as just a demon or just a human joining I.M.P., straight-up copying and pasting the episode scripts and not writing in a lot other than their OC's very brief involvements, reader and OC inserts that just throw them together with the canon characters with hardly any relationship or character development and way too many lemon and smut filled fics, which, given the show's intended audience, is kinda understandable but still...

So, as with all of my other fanfics, I wanted to create an OC that connects with the canon characters focusing on more mentor/mentee, platonic friendship, and teammate relationships between them all and I decided to make her a demon/human hybrid just to mix up that trope a bit and am working on continuing her integration with the team and other characters while slowly revealing bits about her origins throughout the story instead of dumping it all in the beginning as I've done in the past. Even though her updated OC File has a basic rundown of her history that will be delved further into during certain episodes with a few original "episodes" thrown in here, I also wanted to expand on it a bit while writing out every chapter in 3rd Person POV focusing more on Ayden's involvement in the episodes and her growth and connections with each episode and all the characters in each one.

I'm still working on the other episodes but, at this point, I have up to Spring Broken finished, and I'm also trying to see how I could possibly incorporate a future crossover with Hazbin Hotel since I'm really excited for the next episode that's supposed to be released later this year but I also want to try to keep a consistent update schedule to have a chapter out at least every two weeks, maybe every week if I feel like I'm caught up on enough episodes to do so, to have some kind of consistency to this, no promises though ^^;

In the sense of full disclosure, this is my first time writing a character with an Australian accent and as an Aro Ace-identifying personality so if I got anything wrong or if something's been declared as offensive then please don't hesitate to let me know so I can make revisions. I will say, looking up Australian slang and curse words is pretty fun and there's a lot more to come in future chapters/episodes ^^

Other than that, I'm most likely just gonna be writing out all the swears since most of us adults already know what they are so it seems kinda pointless to bleep them, unless they have to do with sexual implications, then they stay bleeped like with Stolas' lines earlier.

Til the next chapter, Bye!