The only note I have for this one beforehand is that I hope it brings some comedy during these stressful times...

...

...

...

WARNING: The following contains graphic violence, strong language,

sexual themes, as well as rampant demon horniness... so yes, it's intended for mature audiences.

VIEWER/READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!

...

...

...

3rd Person POV

The scene opens on the desk at the I.M.P office where a mission folder is tossed open on Blitzø's desk to reveal the mission info from the client next to a photo of Blitzø wandering around a forest in the Living World;

TARGET: Gerardo Velázquez

LOCATION: Small farm outside Tijuana, Mexico

DESCRIPTION: Middle-aged male smells strongly of hay and tequila

INFO: I don't speak whatever language this guy is yappin' in but he keeps making a hand motion that makes me think the target must be a real freak.

Blitzø, Millie, Moxxie, and Jin, wearing a small knife holster on their little hips with a dagger that had a small cat head on the end of the hilt, arrive in Mexico at night with Jin hopping down from Millie's shoulders as Blitzø was saying aloud,

"Alright. Seems like this one's nice and remote. Won't take us too long to-"

Before he was cut off by a goat bumping into him and knocking him to his knees making him curse,

"What the f-!"

Before they all realized they were surrounded by goats, causing Blitzø to shout while pushing away another goat that tried to get into his face just as they all started bleating,

"What the fuck are these things?!"

"I want to say these are Earth goats, sir." Moxxie commented, a little off-put by the goats but not overly freaked out.

Meanwhile, Jin was seen in the background being sniffed by a couple of goats, much to their discomfort especially when one dug their nose under their hindquarters making them yowl before Blitzø shouted,

"MROW!"

"I don't care how great they are, they are in. my. way!"

Picking up a goat that was chewing on his coat and drop-kicking it with enough force that it flew through the air and hit the grain silo before more were seen shooting through the air and hitting the barn and farmhouse causing the target, Gerardo, to exclaim as he went outside with a drink still in his hand,

"¿Qué está pasando!? Qué carajo!?" (What's going on?! What the fuck?!)

"Nice! Easy, easy goats! Easy!" Moxxie shouted from where he was in a slap fight with one goat while the others were having their own fights with the goats with Blitzø stomping on the corpses of a few dead goats, Millie beating the shit out of one goat with the body of another, and Jin being pulled on by four different goats from their neck, tail, and a front and hind leg while yowling in pain.

"¡El Chupacabras!" Gerardo yelled and dropped his drink to pull on his hat and grab his rifle that was propped up by the front door before shooting at the imps and hellkitten.

"Shit! Scatter!" Blitzø ordered from where he had buried himself under a couple of dead goats and was currently wearing one of their bodies like a macabre onesie before jumping out of it as the rest of the I.M.P team moved to escape; Millie had a goat in her mouth as she ran while Moxxie was getting dragged off by another goat before managing to pull himself away, tearing his shirt collar in the process.

Jin was seen trying to wriggle themself out from under a goat that had sat on them near another goat that Blitzø jumped onto to ride like a horse while trying to fire back but the goat barely moved making him yell,

"Run, you stretched asshole!"

Kicking his heels into the goat before it just collapsed with a bleat under his weight making him curse,

"Meh...!"

"Dammit! Augh!"

Before he's hit in the head with a thrown chancla and a glance over revealed that Gerardo's wife, Señora Velázquez, was the culprit as she shouted in her native tongue,

"Pendejo que te voy a arrancar la cabeza! La Chupacabra de mierda-!" (You asshole, I'm gonna tear your fucking head off! Piece of shit Chupacabra-! )

She had taken off her other chancla to hurl in Blitzø and Jin's direction, hitting them both when Blitzø managed to pry them out from under the goat that was sitting on them and tried to use them as a living shield but underestimated just how strong the woman was and so were both knocked to the ground before Blitzø exclaimed while rubbing his forehead with a hand,

"Ay caramba, he brought the big guns." Before shouting to Millie and Moxxie as he picked Jin up with his tail since they were still discombobulated from the hit, "Come on gang, we lost the element of surprise, let's just get'im tomorrow!"

"You got it, sir." Moxxie affirmed as he swayed in place from the beatings he took from the goats before the portal was opened behind him and he stumbled a bit before putting his hands out to hoist Millie through while saying, "Wooooah- let's go, Millie!"

Millie jumped through the portal before grabbing her husband by the head to pull him through and both looked back worriedly at their boss and kid still a ways away from the portal.

Blitzø, with Jin still wrapped up in his tail, tried to run away but tripped on another goat before getting back up and rapidly firing wildly in all directions hitting some oil cans near a tractor and nearly setting it on fire if another shot hadn't put out the fire and instead an explosion happened when a shot hit an outhouse,

*PSSHHHH!*

Blitzø and Jin were propelled forward by the blastwave, about to reach the portal when a burning goat landed on them, knocking them out with twin grunts of pain,

"Augh!"

"Mre!"

From Millie and Moxxie's point of view, we see the portal closing as soon as Blitzø is knocked out and the former screamed before trying and failing to get back through,

"NO!"

"Oh crumbs!" Moxxie exclaimed while Millie was still pawing at the wall as if hoping that would make the portal open back up, however, after a few futile seconds, she gave up before Moxxie questioned in a panicked tone, "What do we do?!"

"I think you know what we hafta do..." Millie spoke eerily after pulling herself away from the wall and looking at her husband with a hesitantly expectant expression, which he immediately understood but tried to shut down,

"Nope! No way! We can't ask-!"

"WOOOOOO!"

Before the scene cuts to Ayden to reveal she was cheering her lungs out as she was hanging out with Alex and Remi at the latter's roller derby match between her team, the Riot Girlz, and their opponent team, the Fast Track Fiends, with her as a Jammer for her team.

Ayden was wearing a pair of bright red hotpants, a black tube top with bedazzled roses, black fishnet stockings, and red and black striped arm warmers with her hair tied into tiny spiky pigtails and bangs held back with a red galaxy-patterned bandana while Alex was wearing a fishnet mid-sleeve shirt under a Riot Girlz fan shirt with flare leg shorts and ripped and hole-ridden black leg stockings.

"WOO! THAT'S MY GIRL!" Alex cheered for their girlfriend after she made a swift dodge from an opponent's elbow jab attempt and managed to speed skate to the front of the horde passing them all-

*CHK!*

*BEEEEEEEEEP!*

Right before the end of the match siren blared as the clock ran out of time after Remi's last move gained another 4 points for her team, the Jumbotron showing the final score to be 57 to 53, crowning the Riot Girlz the victors.

As celebrations and fights were breaking out between fans from both sides, Ayden felt her phone vibrate in her shorts and she turned it on before cursing,

"Aw fuck!"

Alex clapped a paw on her shoulder as they cheered, misinterpreting her exclaim as worry for the fights breaking out around them,

"Don't worry! With our combined strength the after-match-brawls'll go by reeeeaaal quick!"

Ayden smirked brightly at the vote of confidence and saw Remi celebrating with her team with them hoisting her on their shoulders in victory before Alex shoved demons aside to join her so she shoved her phone back in her pocket.

"Eh 'm su'e those two'll be fine fer a few mo'e hou's, right?" Ayden asked no one in particular as she waved a paw dismissively before she went to join the celebrations and beatdowns.

...

Meanwhile, back in the Living World, Blitzø was waking up and realized a few things: 1) he was in a cage, 2) he was dressed in a Chupacabra costume, and 3) and most awkward of all... Jin was in a matching baby Chupacabra costume and duct taped to his waist like a kangaroo joey.

"What the... eeeefff?!" Blitzø shouted in disbelief as he yanked the ears of his costume while Jin meowed unenthusiastically,

"Mrow...?" (Right...?)

Before their face was squished up against the bars of the cage by Blitzø peering through them to see that it was the next morning and Gerardo had set up a mini freak show exhibit advertising his "find" as he barked like a carney to the small crowd that was gathered around the stage,

"Vengan todos! Señores y Señoras! Pásenle, pásenle! ¡Vengan a ver algunos Chupacabras AUTÉNTICOS!" (Come one, come all! Ladies and gentlemen! Step right up, step right up! Come and see some AUTHENTIC Chupacabras!)

Before he switched to speaking in English as he crowed with pride while stroking the sign creepily,

"Only a hundred pesos! To see real Chupacabras... caught by me last night."

"A chupa-what!?" Blitzø exclaimed incredulously before smacking the ice cream cone back into the face of a little boy who had almost poked Jin in the face and retorted back while pushing the kid away, "Look buddy, I'll have you know that we are dignified-"

Before Gerardo countered, speaking in Spanish again,

"No hablo inglés." (I don't speak English.)

"What? You were just speaking-GLCK!" Blitzø tried to argue before a goat plushie was shoved in his mouth and when Jin tried to meow in protest,

"MROOO-UPH!"

They got an apple shoved in their mouth and the both of them started choking on their gag items as Gerardo announced to hype up the crowd with the two demons struggling with the objects in their mouths in the background,

"Everyone! Watch this monstruo suck the blood from the gooooaat!" (monster)

"~OOOOOOH!~" The crowd cheered in awe before,

"BLEH!"

"KLEH!"

Blitzø finally managed to spit out the plushie to where it got stuck between the cleavage of one lady in the crowd and the apple that was in Jin's mouth went flying out and hit the ice cream cone out of the little boy from before's hands onto his forehead again.

"Look, asshole!" Blitzø yelled once he got his breath back from the choking to declare hotly, "The only sucking I do is on cocks-"

Before he was cut off when Gerardo shoved a rooster in Blitzø's mouth making him spit it out to yell,

"EUGH! Not that kind! Pussies-"

Trying to continue his assertion before he got a normal cat shoved in his face that he once again spit out to try and continue,

"FUCK! Dammit, I'm doing a bit! And cloacas, ah-"

He stopped and looked at Gerardo expecting something to get shoved into his mouth again but he only stared at him so he continued with,

"Now if you don't mind, we-AGH!"

Before an iguana was shoved into his mouth and he once again spit it out to shout,

"OH! I'M GONNA PUT YOU IN THE FUCKING GROUND! Hang on."

Calming down for only a second to turn back around in the cage to search his person for his things, giving Jin a headpat when he saw how over-it they were looking, before realizing he had nothing on him and looking back out the cage to see that Gerardo not only had his gun and Jin's dagger holster clipped to his belt but his glove with the Asmodean crystal as he held it out in front of him admiring the gemstone before picking his teeth with Jin's dagger making them glower at him and Blitzø mutter,

"Fuuuuuuuuck me..."

"Mrow...." (He's dead...)

Luckily from the opposite side of the house from the display, two bright red flashes are seen before Ayden in her human form while still in her roller derby outfit was seen peeking out from behind the house.

"Oh fer fuck's sake..." She deadpanned to herself when she saw the predicament her boss and sibling(s) got themselves into this time, cursing silently as she snuck over to the crowd of people to blend in.

"Huh...?"

She heard a large van driving up before she saw one with a poorly made large sombrero on the top barely hiding the satellite dishes on the roof while a crude sign that read "TACOS" pulled up close by before two figures in fiesta sombreros and fake mustaches stepped out from the van before tossing away their disguises dramatically to reveal they were Agents One and Two!

"Double fuck!" Ayden hiss whispered as she ducked back into the crowd as Agent One was heard speaking and asking dubiously,

"Alright. We gotta secure the scene. We heard that there's real 'chupacabras' here?"

"Yes, over here!" Gerardo gestured to the cage where Blitzø and Jin were being held in before going over to stop the agents from coming any closer by demanding while holding out a hand, "Hundred pesos please."

"Señor, we are with the government." Agent Two tried to argue but Gerardo just emphasized with a glare,

"Hundred. Pesos..."

"Right. So uhhh... How much is that?" Agent One questioned and Agent Two answered before the two of them got into a stupid and frankly couple-like argument,

"$5.69."

"Uhh, you have any cash on you?"

"Who has cash anymore?"

"You paid the tip with cash at brunch the other day."

"Yeah, that's all I had. Why don't you pay him? I bought us the coffee this morning."

"Are you really pulling that card in front of this fine man and his fine goats?"

"Baaa!"

At some point during their argument, a baby goat hopped up into Gerardo's arms and bleated before jumping down and running over to the cage where Blitzø was seen gnawing on the bars while Jin watched unimpressed before the goat appeared and Blitzø tried to bargain with it,

"Hey! Hey! Yeah, I know I killed some of your family earlier, but if you help us out of this little pickle, I'll make it up to you little fella!"

Petting its head while feeding it a piece of cheese he had on him for some reason and the goat took the bribe before bleating,

"Baaa!"

Ayden watched the whole exchange, sharing a deadpan look with Jin when they realized she was there before she thought to herself,

'The'e's no way that's gonna wo'k...'

Before the scene panned back over to the Agents and Gerardo as Agent One asked,

"Sooo, can you take caaard, or..."

"BAAAAA!"

*TCH!*

Before he got headbutted in the crotch by the baby goat before it hopped innocently back into Gerardo's arms as he whined shrilly,

"OW! Ffff-uck, you stupid goat!"

Pissing Gerardo off enough to yell,

"YOU INSULT MY GOOOAT?!"

"BAAA!" The goat innocently bleated again before he was put down when Gerardo pulled out Blitzø's gun to shout while aiming it at the agents,

"YOU PAY WITH. YOUR. LIIIIIIIIFE!"

Causing the agents to pull out their guns as well and the three of them engaged in a Mexican standoff as they shouted in warning,

"Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!"

"Oh shite...!" Ayden reached a hand out, about to shift to use her powers, when she was beaten to the punch by some unknown force as Gerardo was about to fire but the gun heated up in his hands causing him to yelp in pain as his hands were burned causing him to drop it,

*TCH!*

*PEW!*

Triggering it to fire off a single shot that ricocheted off a windmill, the bars of the cage close to Blitzø's crotch and Jin's tail, and pierced right through the tire on the D.H.O.R.K.S. van making its alarm go off.

*TCH!*

Abruptly, a piece of the windmill fell and essentially sliced Gerardo in half as his last words uttered were,

"Estoy... muerto... Bleh..." (I'm... dead...)

"Huh... I'll be damned..." Ayden commented in mild awe as she watched the agents freak out with One leaping into Two's arms Scooby-style.

"Oh dear god..." Two uttered in disturbed disbelief before One pointed at the gun that had Blitzø's glove and Jin's dagger holster nearby and yelled,

"DEMON GUN!"

Both pulled out their guns and were about to shoot at the gun and glove, risking breaking the crystal so Ayden cursed,

"Shite!"

Before laying her eyes on the crowd and the poorly disguised D.H.O.R.K.S. van and yelling in faked excitement,

"TACOS GRATIS!" (FREE TACOS!)

"YAAAY!" The crowd cheered before rushing to surround the agents, leaving just Ayden in front of the display as Jin cheered and Blitzø questioned,

"MROW!"

"What the-?! How the-?!"

"I used ta live in L.A.? Ya think I woul'n't pick up a thing o' two 'bout speakin' Spanish?" Ayden snarked while rolling her eyes as she put a hand on her hip just as the little goat from before showed up with Blitzø's glove in its mouth to give it back to them as he praised,

"Hey, thatta boy!"

"So what's the plan he'e...?" Ayden asked boredly while crossing her arms and Blitzø tried to hype her up by asking,

"Operation Release the Kraken?"

"'Ight..." Ayden shrugged before walking off to the goat pen in the distance without another word, making Blitzø look after her with slight unease before Jin meowed,

"Mrow?" (Can we go now?)

"Right!" Blitzø pulled the glove on and spit a little on the crystal before spreading it around with a finger, causing it to glow and open a portal to the top of the cage that Blitzø jumped through.

"Get back!"

"We don't got no tacos!"

Agents One and Two struggled to escape the crowd of people asking for free food before coming through in time for Blitzø to call out from his spot while doing a handstand and waving his butt mockingly at them,

"Hey dipshits! Remember me?"

"It's him!" Two shouted while pointing at him before adding, "And his little cat too-wait what?!"

But her confusion was overlooked when One ordered,

"Get him!"

Before the both of them started firing their guns at Blitzø and Jin, who stayed tied to his waist even as Blitzø started fooling around by rolling across the top of the cage, essentially roll-pinning them before he jumped down to the ground.

As the agents kept firing at them unsuccessfully, Blitzø ran over to the baby goat, who had his gun and Jin's dagger holster in its mouth, and gave it a quick headpat after retrieving their things and continued evading the gunshots.

Meanwhile, Ayden was discreetly lighting two small fires with her lighter from Sallie May near the entrance of the barn and breaking the latch on the gate as Blitzø and Jin ran up the side of the barn to the admission banner to slingshot up to the roof just as a gunshot shattered the windows over the crowd since they had gone back to witness the fight and applauded even as glass shards rained on them,

"Chupacabra! Yaaay!" (Yaaay!)

"¡Me gustaaa!" (I like iiiit!)

"Yeah, bitch!" Blitzø cheered was wearing the admission banner like a hooded cloak before tossing it off to reveal that Jin was finally free from his waist with their dagger holster back on their body, "I'm the fucking 'chupra-ca-dupra!'"

Ayden, back in her demon cat form, leaped up to be by his side on the rooftop with Jin happily pouncing onto her shoulders to rub their face against hers as Blitzø shouted maniacally,

"And we're here to FUCK YOU AAAALL!"

Firing his gun into the air and cuing Ayden to make the fires she lit earlier flare up, a bit bigger and redder than expected, but enough to spook the goats to bust through the broken gate and start stampeding toward the people as a man in the crowd panicked,

"OH MY GOD, EVERYBODY RUN! HE'S GOT A GUN!"

Causing everyone to start running chaotically with the goats following suit and Señora Velázquez to shout tearfully as she clutched her husband's corpse,

"¡¡AYE DIO MÍO!! ¡¡¡TIENE PISTOLA!!!" (OH MY GOD!! HE HAS A GUN!!!)

Amid the chaos, the goats are seen eating people's belongings, and limbs, and causing more damage than thought possible as one managed to use Gerardo's rifle to shoot Agent One in the leg and Two had to come over to help him as he yelled,

"We got badges, we're legit! We're important! Get out of our way!" Holding up a fake badge that a goat leaped up to eat right out of his hand and more goats were about to overrun them when a fiery blaze jumped down in front of them to reveal Ayden and Jin as they meowed,

"MROW!"

"They said 'say hello to my gatito blade!'" Ayden shouted in a smug snide tone before her sibling(s) grabbed their dagger from their holster with their mouth and jumped off her shoulder to charge at both agents along with the goats and they managed to get a solid slice into One's already injured leg before letting their goat comrades overwhelm them as they shouted painfully,

"No! More goats!"

"Oh my god, run! What are you do-!"

Forcing them to retreat back to their van, stumbling inside as the goats continued their assault on the vehicle while One struggled to get it going,

"AHHH! Too many goats!!! Oh, too many goats!"

"Oh my god, more goats!"

Before the van finally managed to speed off into the distance in a cloud of dust that settled to reveal all the people were gone, minus one man that Jin killed with a swift stab to the back after a goat scared him off with a bleat on their way back to the top of the barn resting on Ayden's shoulder again so they could rejoin Blitzø with their bloody dagger still clutched between their fangs,

"Awww baby's first mission kill...!" Blitzø gushed with a cutesy expression and Jin closed their eyes happily at the proud face smooshing they were given when he kneeled down to their level.

"Hey Fuzzball didja see-?" Blitzø turned to speak to Ayden but she just turned around without saying anything and drew her portal outline before jumping down into it to return to Hell, leaving the two of them with the little goat who had helped save their lives.

So, after hesitantly brushing off the cold action, Blitzø rubbed the little goat's head as he told it with a hint of pride,

"Amazing work there lil' buddy. You really helped my little red ass out. And for that I'm making you an honorary I.M.P V.I.P uh... associate."

"Mrow!" Jin sat down on their haunches and gave the best impression of a salute they could manage, their bloodied dagger still in their mouth.

"Here, have a sticker. Ha ha! Nyonk!" Blitzø pulled out a sticker that had a pentagram, the I.M.P logo, and "GUD JOB!!!" on it, and licked it before sticking it on the goat's forehead.

Blitzø opened a portal back to Hell and Jin hopped through before he did and stuck a hand through to give the love-you gesture as he bid the goat goodbye,

"Later!"

With the air of eerie suspense, the goat was seen walking to the edge of the roof before sitting and looking down at what remained of their brethren and a quick time skip revealed that it had become the new leader of a Cult of the Lamb-esque demon cult, as they dressed in a black cloak with a horned hat as the rest of the goats bowed to it before it bleated,

"BAAAAA!"

...

...

...

AN- Last short done!

Since the Hell's Belles short is focused on Millie and Sallie May's relationship, I thought it might be a little taboo to just insert Ayden and/or Jin in there, some aftermath interaction might get referenced later on but I won't be writing the whole thing out

Some notes and references for this one:

"The Gatito Blade" as a line and object was a reference to the item and line of the same name in the Puss in Boots: The Last Wish movieThe "Baby's first mission kill...!" was based on Eda's "Awww baby's first wanted poster" moment from The Owl House

A note to be made, I know, as of the episode's release, officially the shorts are set after Ghostfuckers but for the sake of the Forged in Fire story, as well as I've-already-written-them-this-way, the order for this fic will be Apology Tour, the Shorts, Forged in Fire, and then Ghostfuckers.

To explain why Blitzø isn't moping around yet, I'm just reasoning it with what I call "The Mabel Reaction" (as in the Gravity Falls character) where Blitzø is trying to stay somewhat optimistic and acting normal by thinking he could depend on the only things and people he thought wouldn't let him down and when it turns out they do, to his interpretations, that's when he breaks down... (I know it's not ideal but please work with me on this...)

Speaking of which, Forged in Fire's first chapter is done and the second one is partially done so I'm sticking to the bi-weekly update schedule for now, hopefully over Thanksgiving break in two weeks, since I'm not going home and might just pick up some extra work hours, I'll be able to work on the chapters some more so I can get to the last three episodes of the season before the end of the year

Until the next one, Bye!