WARNING: The following contains graphic violence, naughty language, horny humans, horny demons, mentions of substance abuse, and is intended for mature audiences.

VIEWER/READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!

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3rd Person POV

'Fuck me dead....'

Ayden was not having a good time... after the slip-ups she'd been making on recent missions and the nightmares that kept replaying in her sleep to the point where she'd randomly shapeshift to her cat demon form while still in her burrow, nearly destroying it in the process, she decided that her nerves acting up was getting out of hand and she needed a way to keep that from happening.

So here she was; walking with her paws in her pockets and dark circles under her eyes making her glowing freckles dim while looking at the ground in the Pride ring, as she was on her way to visit an old... acquaintance...

"Well well well... Been a while Whiskers... to what do I owe the pleasure?" A nasally voice sounded from the stall she was walking up to and she looked up to see the familiar anthropomorphic boar sinner with four pairs of red-streaked tusks, dull orange eyes, a slicked-down head of hair, and wearing a dark blue denim jacket over a t-shirt with matching jeans with a hole cut in the back to let his tail swing around.

"Stuff it Drogge..." Ayden grumbled in a tired tone as she leaned an elbow on the counter of the stall and leveled him with a deadpan glare as she told him, "You know what I want..."

"Mmmhmm... Mild?"

"'Course..."

"Coming up." He went to work preparing her order and Ayden dragged her free paw down her face as she noted the shaking coming from it and she clenched it as the voices started to come back up again, but new ones were starting to join in,

'You should learn to take a joke...'

'Why don't you ever listen?!'

'~Relax this'll be over soon...~'

'Your life is over!'

"Grrrrr...." She crushed her eyes shut to keep the tears at bay and both paws grabbed at her hair before-

"Done!"

Ayden unclenched her paws to see Drogge with a clear, mid-sized, twist-tied baggie filled to the tie with murky green paw-shaped gummies and he dropped them on the counter before holding out a hand to say,

"$100."

"What?!" Ayden's eyes snapped open and her tail went straight before she pointed in his face to hiss, "Last time it w's $60!"

"Dunno what ta tell ya, inflation and all that bullshit..." Drogge shrugged before Ayden pulled back crossing her arms as she haggled,

"$70"

"$90"

"$85"

"$75 Final offer only because you're a returning customer."

"Ffffine." Ayden snapped as she pulled out three crumpled acid-green bills and slammed them on the counter before snatching the baggie and walking off flipping the bird behind her as he called out to her,

"Pleasure doing business with you!"

Ayden growled as tried to rip the twisty tie off the bag with her shaky paws before getting too impatient and tore a hole in the bag with her teeth causing some of the gummies to fall to the ground and she rapidly picked them up to shove them and the baggie in her satchel before popping a few of the gummies into her mouth to dry swallow them.

As soon as the familiar wave of calm washed over her and the shaking in her paws faded away, Ayden gave a small sigh of relief before realizing she was right outside of I.M.P. so she gave herself a quick brush over to look more normal before heading in.

As soon as the elevator door opened to let her out on the 6th floor, she heard a song coming from through the door,

♫ So sit right back ♫

♫ And let us bless a soooul for you! ♫

And just as she opened the door-

♫ Oh, we... are the C.H.E.R.U.B! ♫

*BANG*

She immediately jumped back with a frozen wide-eyed expression as a shot blew up the TV where the song had been coming from revealing Blitzø, Loona, and Millie sitting at the table while Moxxie was standing near the blown-up TV with another in hand as Millie cheered and Blitzø requested respectively,

"Nice one, B!"

"Gimme another, Mox."

Ayden rolled her eyes as she went to sit at the table on the other side of a sleeping Loona with the others, who'd yet to notice she was there, as Moxxie swept the broken TV off the stand, put the new one on, and turned it on with a scared look on his face as the 666 New logo appeared on the screen but Blitzø didn't like it as he reloaded his percussion pistol with gunpowder and told him,

"Eh, nah. Not feelin' it. Next!"

While Moxxie switched the channel to try to find something Blitzø wanted to shoot, Ayden went through her bag to see that the gummies had all spilled out with a few having been squished against her chain and weapon heads and suppressed a groan before Blitzø yelled out,

"Bingo!"

And he shot and exploded the TV again at some ad for "Wacky Wally Wackford's Wacky Idea 'Factory'" as Millie cheered again,

"WOO! You're on a roll, sir!"

Before the whole place started shaking and Loona woke up from her nap to look down at where her water cup spilled all over the table as she asked,

"Guys... do you feel that?"

"Oh, shit! Is that a hellshake?" Blitzø questioned making Moxxie and Ayden ask,

"That's possible?"

"Ser'sly...?"

"Alright! Don't panic, Moxxie!" Millie told her husband as she grabbed his arms to "calm him down" before releasing him so he could say while making quotation marks with his hands,

"I'm not 'panicking,' because hellquakes don't happen."

But Loona roughly grabbed him and shook him violently as she yelled at him,

"STOP GETTING HYSTERICAL, FATTY!"

Before slapping him on the back of the head and sending him flying against the wall dazedly where he remained stuck until some kind of wrecking ball made of black wires busted through the wall, burying Moxxie under rubble and allowing a sinner with a supervillain aesthetic to enter.

Loona and Ayden both started growling and snarling as the man who entered the room wielded several robotic black tentacles and announced them all,

"Do not be afraid!"

"Please tell me you got that insurance thing." Blitzø told him before Millie shouted while taking out her axe,

"Who are you, and what do you want?!"

The man introduced himself in a singsong voice while doing a loop-de-loop with his body to slide to the other side of the room,

"I am Loopty Goopty! Dastardly inventor of all things loopy and ♫ loopiiiiiish! ♫"

"Coulda just used the door, dude. Doesn't need to be this whole thing." Loona told him as waved a hand while scrolling through her phone.

"I am eccentric and must therefore do eccentric SHIT!" Loopty did a wavy dance as Blitzø sniffed him and rapidly pulled away as he questioned,

"Ugh! This old fuck reeks of the living world. Did you just die?"

"YEEEEES! Moments ago, in fact! Which is what brought me HEEEERE!"

Ayden resisted covering her ears at Loopty's shrill voice when Loona muttered from where she was tapping away at her phone,

"Just sayin'... the front door would've gotten you here fine."

"Shut up, dear furry!" Loopty told her making her growl in anger before he turned back to Blitzø with a photo in hand as he sang,

"This is the man I'm gonna need you to ♫ kiiiill! ♫"

The photo was of a wrinkly short, old man in a bed with tiny little circular glasses and Blitzø took the photo while admiring as he walked up to shake his hand,

"Not even a shit's length of time in Hell and already plotting revenge. I can respect a man with that sort of passion! I'm Blitzø, the 'o' is silent."

"What 'o'?" Loopty questioned and Blitzø thanked him before asking while shaking his hips around,

"Aww, thank you. Now, what's the tea, sis?"

"The TEAAAA?!" Loopty shrieked in confusion before Moxxie cried out in a pained voice while raising an arm out of the debris,

"Guys, help!"

But Blitzø didn't seem to hear as he asked,

"Yeah, why are we killin' this guy? I mean, what did he do to you?"

"LOSING... OX-!"

"Haaaah..." Ayden sighed before she went over to Moxxie as he squeaked out nearly out of breath while Loopty went on his backstory schpiel that frankly she didn't care enough to listen to while she dug Moxxie out from under the rubble and pulled his limp, nearly unconscious body up and out just before Blitzø commented mildly,

"Ehhh, that's not really evil."

"It's evil towards meeee!" Loopty argued while Moxxie strained out from where he was still catching his breath with an arm slung around Ayden's shoulder as she held him up,

"Everything... so... dark-"

"Now, get your crimson asses up above and send that heartless, no-good son of a bitch to Hell, where he belongs!" Loopty commanded them all while Blitzø tried to tell him,

"Eh, y-y-y-you do know, Poopty-"

"Looooptyyyy!" Loopty seethed as he corrected Blitzø and he held up his hands defensively and tried to reason with him,

"Of course! Of course... If we do kill him, though, and he ends up down here... y'know, you will be stuck with him. Forever."

"Oh, trust me..." Loopty summoned a bunch of weapons from his back as he spoke with ready vengeance, "I'm counting on it."

"That's kinda hot!" Moxxie strained out as he raised his free dangling hand in a thumbs up making everyone glance their way as Blitzø shouted incredulously,

"The fuck when'd you get here kid?!"

Ayden leveled them all with a deadpan stare.

A short while later, the I.M.P. crew with the imps wearing wigs and disguises and Ayden in her human form, with black and red aviator sunglasses and a matching skull clip in her hair added in, were on a tour bus that stopped right outside of Lyle Lipton's mansion.

"Gee! I wonder whose house this is." Moxxie commented sarcastically as he looked at the house through his binoculars.

"And to your right is the home of famous inventor, Lyle Lipton!" The tour guide announced as if to solidify Moxxie's point and the crowd around them all ooh'd and took pictures while Blitzø removed his sunglasses to declare to his team,

"Let's do it, gang!"

Blitzø pulled out his percussion pistol, Moxxie readied his assault rifle, Millie unsheathed her twin swords, and Ayden prepared to use her Glock since her chain and weapon heads were out of commission.

The four of them jumped over the fence and landed in poses before Millie announced,

"Let's kill this rich guy!"

The imps and hellcat raced over to the house and Ayden could faintly hear the tour guide in the distance,

"And here you'll find four tacky stalkers about to attempt a murder! Things like this could happen to famous people all the time!"

With the sound of camera snaps being heard as well, she gave them all the double birds before catching up with the others as they were pressing their faces against the window where, inside, was their target.

"Please tell me yer jokin' wi'h that..." Ayden questioned seeing the cat sock puppet on Blitzø's tail and he poked her nose to question,

"Please tell me you're not soundin' like a broken record."

"Whatever..." Ayden turned back to the window leaving Blitzø slightly alarmed that she didn't snap at him for poking her nose which she usually hated.

"Wow... That machine really did a number on him." Moxxie commented as they saw how Lyle had gotten old enough to where he's been confined to bed with a heart rate monitor and an IV bag on either side along with a TV and a video player and the man himself was looking down at a framed picture in his hands as he kissed it and spoke lovingly,

"Goodbye... my one true love."

A closer look at the picture reveals it to be an image of dollar bills with a "Free Stock Photos" watermark over it before it's put down and Lyle started lamenting while grabbing the tube from the IV bag and tying it into a noose,

"All the riches of the world can't fill the emptiness I'm feeling now that my shitty old body can't do anything of value."

"Oh, fantastic! He's gonna do our job for us!" Blitzø cheered as Lyle finished making the noose and was pulling the knot tight as Moxxie asked,

"Should we go in there and tie it for him?"

"Nah I think he got it." Ayden commented in an unfeeling tone as she and the others watched while drinking soda and snacking on popcorn, Lyle started to pull the noose over his head but, just as it was about to go over his forehead, it started to glow white and a concussive force pushed out to where even the four outside could feel it and Blitzø watched as his cat sock puppet was blown away in the shockwave making him sad while Ayden smirked triumphantly.

Looking back into the house though, Ayden saw three cherubs float down in three beams of heavenly light and her eyes widened as she looked back to the others saying,

"Ya might wanna see this..."

Blitzø and Moxxie recovered from the blast to look through the window and see the three beings so Blitzø could question and Moxxie could start to answer,

"Who the fuck are they?"

"Oh, no! Sir, those are..."

"Cherubs, Mr. Lyle!" The baby-looking cherub named Cletus introduced himself and his associates but Lyle just yelled,

"I hate filthy, stinking orphan children!"

"We're here to convince you not to kill yourself, sir. To grant you a blessing, on behalf of those in Heaven... benefited by your amazing... technological advances." Collin the blue sheep cherub explained to him and Blitzø yelled angrily,

"Oh, HEEEELL no!" Rolling up his sleeve while holding up his percussion pistol as he burst through the window but fell to the ground with shards sticking out of him almost right after from misjudging the height of the window to the floor,

"Don't listen-"

*KRSH*

"Lyle Lipton, it is our-" Moxxie started to say from where he entered the mansion through the front door but glanced over at Blitzø before continuing to tell Lyle, "-humble opinion that you should continue the process to commit die."

"I mean, what do you expect to do with all this money now you're old... and gross?" Millie stepped in making grossed-out hand motions.

"Is that a serious question?" The yellow sheep cherub named Keenie questioned as she moved Lyle's bedsheets aside to reveal his dollar-filled wallet and grabbed it before announcing, "He can help spread his wealth around with the people of the world! And do so much good with it! And be so fulfilled!"

She flew around their heads happily throwing the bills around in the air with Ayden discretely catching a few of them as Lyle whined,

"Nnnno!"

"He could pay for new hospitals and schools!" Collin continued trying to convince Lyle of what he could do but he just complained while gripping his blanket,

"Why won't you let me die?"

"I mean with how old he's now, might as well get it over wi'h." Ayden shrugged and Blitzø agreed as he appeared beside him before asking,

"Oh, sounds like ya need help offin' yourself there, buddy. Moxxie, what do we got for this fella?"

Moxxie reached into his coat and tossed out a ton of different weapons to Blitzø and Lyle as he listed off,

"I have some assault weapons, crossbow, hunting bow, Tommy gun, old-fashioned shotgun, revolvers in three colors, chainsaws, katanas-"

"He's classier than that!" Collin argued.

"Sure 'bout that?" Ayden raised an eyebrow at Lyle as he pointed an assault rifle into his mouth before Collin took it away to protest,

"There are still plenty of reasons to live, Mr. Lyle!"

"Yeah, right. Smells like he ain't been out of bed in months!" Millie argued as she sniffed near Lyle's bed before she covered her mouth with her hands and held her husband's shoulder to vomit on the floor.

"Life can be beautiful at any age!" Cletus announced and Keenie added,

"And we'll show him!"

"Yeah!" The cherubs cheered while the I.M.P. crew yelled,

"NOOOOO-!"

"Why are you so against life, aren't you human?" Cletus asked looking in Ayden's direction and making them all question,

"What?!"

Before Ayden spoke up,

"Oh right!"

Shifting to her cat demon form as she argued,

"Just a disguise."

The cherubs, Cletus in particular, all narrowed their eyes in unison before smiling brightly as they announced,

"Let's go!"

After a short time skip, they all found themselves on a hill overlooking a forest and lake with Lyle having been rolled there in his bed as Cletus declared, emphasizing with a wink,

"Look around, Lyle. God's gift of nature is a wonder to behold, regardless of age! Or wealth!"

"If you were to end your life, you'd be missing aaaaaall of this!" Collin added before Blitzø appeared in a tiger costume asking,

"Mmhm. You're gonna buy that load of shit from a baby and the sheep it fucks?"

Making a circle with one hand and pointing a finger through it with the other hand to indicate sex making Keenie gasp and cover her mouth before pointing at him to scold,

"That is so inappropriate!"

"Right...?" Ayden grumbled as she stood to the side wearing a red panda onesie with an eared hoodie and fake bushy tail where her real tail filled it.

"Oh, kiss our ass, prude!" Millie told them off while flipping them double birds as she and Moxxie were in cat costumes before turning to Ayden to assure her, "But not you sweetie."

Blitzø shoved Lyle aside by the face to sit next to him as he noted,

"Aaaanyway, take it from me, a fellow genius. Nature is no picnic up close."

Grabbing a pair of binoculars from out of nowhere and holding them up for Lyle to look through at a group of bunnies and squirrels cuddling together before a few of them are ripped apart and eaten by a pack of hungry wolves making Lyle shout distressed,

"Ohhhh, noooo!"

"S-Stop looking!" Collin stuttered out as he tried to pull the binoculars away but Lyle kept a firm grip on them as he shouted,

"I CAN'T stop! I've never wanted to die more than I do now!"

A bear swiped a wolf to the ground but just as it raised a paw to attack, it was crushed by a falling tree, cut down by a burly logger with a chainsaw before a beehive landed on the man's head and he screamed, flailing his head to get the hive off while also throwing his chainsaw into the air and it came back down, cutting both of the man's arms off and causing him to scream harder before his body is skewered from behind by the antlers of a charging stag as lightning flashes dramatically behind it.

Lyle and the cherubs froze in horror but Blitzø faked it as he slapped his hands comically on the sides of his face before grinning smugly seeing how horrified Lyle was.

"Uhhh, let's go check out someplace else!" Cletus urged trying to stay positive while, to the side, Millie and Moxxie bumped paws and Ayden smirked triumphantly.

After a quick trip to a local shopping mall, Lyle is pushed with his bed through the wall as he groans,

"Oh, Lord! Where are we now?! Let me perish!"

"We're here to show you another thing life is worth living for; childhood wonderment!" Keenie told him as she gestured to the crowd of kids cheering while in line to sit on Santa's lap making Lyle sigh wistfully,

"Why... look at those sweet, disease-ridden vermin. Th-their joy comes from innocence, unspoiled by the burdens of adulthood... and their middle-class existence! Such simple joy they have. It is inspiring. Thank you for showing me this."

"Hey, dipshit!" Blitzø called out, with him and Millie were dressed as elves, a grumpy Moxxie was dressed as Rudolph, and Ayden was frowning while wearing an inflatable Frosty the Snowman costume complete with a carrot cover on her nose, and asked the kid currently on Santa's lap,

"Wanna see whose lap you're sittin' on?"

Before ripping off the costume to reveal a sweaty gnome wearing a "#Cuties" shirt and underwear before making a gnome noise making the kids scream and run away in terror while Lyle sobbed like a baby as Collin and Keenie covered his eyes before he's pushed out of the mall by Cletus.

"Santa's EVIL!!" A boy cried out in terror and Ayden snatched a candy cane from the boy running by, quickly sucked the tip to a sharp point, and stabbed it down, popping the costume and tearing off the carrot nose cover she was wearing while griping,

"Where the fuck ev'n do these suits keep comin' from?"

Another short trip resulted in them all arriving in the woods where a wooden sign that read "Lovers' Lookout" with a heart replacing the 'o' in 'Lovers'' with a side note underneath that read "I guess" and Lyle glowered,

"Egh! This place reeks of TEENAGERS!"

"Lovers' Lookout, sir! We're here to remind you about possibly life's greatest joy of all!" Cletus announced with Lyle guessing while holding up his shaky grabby hands,

"Money!"

"No! Love..." Collin brought up gently before Lyle admitted,

"I've never been in love before. I imagine it's quite nice!"

"It's not too late, sir! You can still find-" Collin was about to encourage him but was cut off when Blitzø, now wearing makeup, a large blond wig, black hoop earrings, a pink feather boa, and a puffy pink dress, jeered,

"HA! Nice try, ugly."

Before pulling out a megaphone to announce to the teens there,

"Hey, horny lovers! Which one of you would FUCK this old man?!"

Abruptly, all the cars on the ledge sped off in unison into the distance as Lyle deflated with a dejected expression.

Collin got right into Blitzø's face as he stuttered angrily,

"You know, you four are so utterly c-c-cruel! We're just trying to give hope to someone in need!"

"Oh... and you three are so superior to us just because WE want some selfish, greedy, authoritarian capitalist to keel over DEAD!" Moxxie sassily retorted in his orange bob wig and business suit-esque dress while waving his hands around for emphasis.

"You're makin' things too real now, Moxxie." Blitzø noted as he walked up to Moxxie with a spray bottle labeled "Piss" in his hands before he sprayed him with it and Moxxie hissed while flinching away.

"Plus who're you to decide what's best fer humans?" Ayden pointed out as she had a hand to her hip in her orange-to-neon-red glittery gradient with a lacey trim dress with a black leather mock laced corset around her waist and a mini sparkly orange bolero jacket.

"Exactly!" Millie agreed in her pink skater dress with pink bows at her waist and one tying her hair up in a ponytail as she held her hand up in a high five that Ayden returned without looking.

Another short trip later, the cherubs had taken Lyle to an opera house where on stage a woman dressed as a Viking with a fake unicorn on her lower torso sang while a well-dressed man played the piano behind her.

In the audience, the cherubs had dressed up while Lyle only put on a bowtie over his sweat-stained hospital gown as Cletus declared,

"Behold! The wonder of art and music! Somethin' always there to comfort... entertain... and live for!"

Above the stage, the imps and demon cat are on the catwalk near the row of spotlights with Blitzø wagging his butt and tail like a cat making Ayden deadpan,

"Please stop that..."

But it went unheard as Millie asked,

"So... how do we make this bad?"

"We can't. There's literally nothing bad about opera. That's fact." Moxxie tried to assert due to his love for the theatre.

"Unless we ruin it somehow!" Blitzø shook his butt in Moxxie's face, making him grimace before grabbing one of the spotlights to move it away from the singer, making her stop before rushing to the light, only for it to move away again and again and again.

"She's not very good." Lyle grumbled from how the opera singer kept pausing from chasing the light around, going even faster as Blitzø chuckled from how aggressively he was moving the light until it broke and fell toward the stage, the opera singer hitting one final high note before the light crushed her and sent blood splattering all over the stage.

"AAAHHHHH!" The cherubs, Lyle, and everyone in the audience screamed before the nervous-looking piano man continued playing despite the tragic turn of events.

"Well, at least we made it bad." Blitzø held his hands up in a shrugging manner and Ayden asked tiredly,

"C'n we j'st kill'im 'lready?"

Right before the cherubs flew up to the four of them with angry expressions on their faces as Cletus yelled at them,

"THAT'S IT!! I HAVE HAD IT!! You four monsters have messed with us enough!"

"D'ooh, we're just trying to do our j-j-job!" Collin stuttered angrily.

"Well, so are we!" Moxxie argued.

"EEEENOUGH!!" Cletus shouted as he, Keenie, and Collin summoned golden crossbows and aimed them at the imps and Ayden before continuing, "We are savin' that shitty old man's life, whether he wants it or not!"

"Well, someone wants that fucker dead, m'kay? And he paid in advance, and I spent it all on this-" Blitzø retorted to them before reaching into his coat to pull out a bedazzled green horse figurine wearing sunglasses and a cap that had "Mare-ajuana" on it as he finished while pointing to Lyle down below, "-so he's gotta go!"

Keenie got into his face and started ranting,

"You all are such disgusting, loathsome beasts! Your kind is nothing but dirt that shitty dead people tread on! And now, you're trying to meddle with the lives of HUMANS?!"

"So're you!" Ayden pushed Keenie away from Blitzø with a harsh claw poke to her chest before Millie stepped in front of her to yell at Keenie while pulling her close by her necklace,

"Yeah so why don't you shut your trap, you judgmental, cotton candy, tit-havin' BITCH?!"

Keenie was silent for a few seconds before she shrieked,

"FILTHY DEMON CRAP!!!"

And tackled Millie to the ground before trying to punch her in the face while Cletus and Collin went after Blitzø, Moxxie, and Ayden shooting at them with golden arrows before Moxxie ran down one catwalk way while Blitzø and Ayden went down another and split off again when Ayden swung onto another catwalk with a rope that had a small metal bar tied to the end of it.

Millie and Keenie's fight wound up with them rolling off the catwalk and Moxxie diving down to catch a rope to swing downward with one hand holding up his gun as he aimed for the rope holding up a sandbag to release it onto Keenie before swooping in to save his wife from falling before Collin went after the two of them before Keenie caught up with them.

As the two of them swung around, Millie grabbed onto Moxxie's face before they started to make out and Millie grabbed two machine guns out of her husband's coat to fire them rapidly while they spun and swung around on the rope.

Above them, Blitzø was still on the catwalk when Moxxie's bowtie and Millie's bra flew by as they continued shooting to where most of the audience was killed until he noticed that he lost track of Ayden.

Meanwhile, Cletus had tracked her down to another catwalk level where she had been trying to see if her weapons would clean themselves up by shifting to human form but they didn't and she was about to yell in frustration when Cletus snuck up behind her and yelled,

"Got ya!"

He shot her with multiple golden arrows that hit her in the chest and stomach making her flinch and raise her arms to her face but then her eyes opened back up when she saw she was fine, patting herself down to make sure of it.

"What the-?!" Cletus was about to yell when Ayden flicked her belt wrap aside to reveal the gun holster strapped to the side of her knee and rapidly pulled the Glock out to aim it at him and fire but she missed and it instead hit a light near him making it send out a shower of sparks that made Cletus back away to avoid catching fire, giving Ayden enough time to shift to hellcat form so she could run away, shifting back to demon cat form to swing on the occasional loose hanging rope as she did so.

"You bitch!" Cletus yelled as he flew after her shooting more arrows her way that she was able to nimbly dodge after shifting to hellcat form as he continued, "You're no mere demon you're a h-"

He was cut off when something reached out and snatched hellcat Ayden off a catwalk and was revealed to be Blitzø as he ran along a perpendicular running scaffolding with Ayden hanging limply in his tail's grip even as she protested petulantly,

"You c'n put me down now..."

But he didn't listen as he aimed his pistol around trying to see where Cletus disappeared to before jumping onto a piece of scaffolding that was being precariously held up by a piece of rope that led to the rope that was swinging Millie and Moxxie around before he saw Cletus in front of them and tried to shoot him... only to discover his pistol was out of ammo...

After looking at it in shock, Blitzø threw it at Cletus, hitting him in the eye and making him yell,

"Oof! You fucker!"

Causing him to fire his crossbow half-blind as it severed the rope holding up the scaffolding sending it and I.M.P. tumbling down to the stage where they crashed near the piano on a plank of wood that was bending the piano upward, on the verge of snapping.

Once the pianist straightened out his bow tie and stepped off the bent board onto the piano bench, the board snapped sending the piano flying out into the audience where Lyle had finished having his epiphany of continued life.

"AHHH!" He squealed girlishly before fumbling out of bed to try to avoid the piano, smiling triumphantly as he thought he avoided it but the piano suddenly shifted in midair to fall right on top of him, killing him at last.

From where I.M.P. was sitting on the fallen scaffolding with Ayden, still in her hellcat form, in Blitzø's tail's grip and Millie and Moxxie tied up from where they'd gotten tangled up in the rope they were swinging from before as Moxxie taunted,

"Well, well. Would'ya looook at that? You... did our job... for us. Heh!"

Millie smirked as she gave the cherubs double birds before they stared at Lyle's corpse as Collin panicked,

"Ohhhh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my Gooood!"

Making Keenie grab him by his shirt as she slapped him a few times while berating him,

"Get a hold of yourself, Collin! And do NOT use the Lord's name in VAIN!"

"THIS... ISN'T OVER!" Cletus yelled down at them before Keenie summoned a portal to Heaven and they went through only to be repelled back making Cletus yell in disbelief, "WHAT THE-?!"

As a group of more cherubs descended from the portal and it looked like the trio was getting in trouble, Blitzø motioned for them all to split and he texted Loona to portal them back.

Back in the I.M.P. office, Blitzø clapped his hands as he announced to them all,

"Welp, the old man wanted to live again and we didn't kill him, so we failed. Thanks to those fuckin' cherubs, he's probably up in Heaven now, so..."

He stood dramatically in front of the hole still in the wall with his hands held behind his back and he continued with a hint of sadness in his voice,

"It's a shame... All our client wanted was eternal revenge on his business partner. And now the two are forever separated, and now we gotta face the fire of fuckin' up."

"Sir... when are you going to tell the client?" Moxxie questioned from where he sat at the meeting table with Millie, Loona, and Ayden before Blitzø turned around with his phone in his hand as he answered with a cheeky smile,

"Oh, I already sent him a text, and... we're in good hands, 'cause texts don't make people angry."

Ayden wasn't able to fully see the texts but she could tell, knowing Blitzø, they would piss him off.

A few seconds later, a rumbling signaled the return of Loopty and Moxxie was lucky enough to avoid the escalator that suddenly crashed through the wall to lead into the office as Loopty descended from it calling out,

"BLIIIIIITZØ!"

"Loofaaaaa! We can explain everything. I was-" Blitzø started to explain worriedly when another escalator came crashing through a different part of the office wall, one that Moxxie wasn't lucky enough to avoid as he got pinned under it as Lyle, now a sinner with piano keys for teeth and a rolling ball instead of legs, arrived making Blitzø and Millie exclaim in surprise,

"Lyle Lipton?!"

Before Millie pointed out,

"I don't understand. We thought you went to Heaven."

"Heaven?! You don't make millions in technological advances in robotics by NOT experimenting on the poor!" Lyle laughed and Ayden lazily held a hand up from where she was laying her head on the table to comment,

"Called it..."

"Oh, you no-good, HEARTLESS son of a BITCH! Thank you for reuniting me with my best friend!" Loopty placed a hand on the shoulder of his friend before turning to Blitzø to thank him before Lyle questioned,

"The only question now is what do two old genius robotic inventors do now that we're in Hell?"

As if summoned, Wally Wackford crashed through the ceiling of the office and questioned loudly,

"Did someone say, I say, inventors?! Name's Wally Wackford, and I am lookin' for creative new people to exploit!" Wally halted before adding slyly, "I mean, ~employyyyy~"

"Everyone, STOP FUCKIN' UP MY WALLS! Moxxie's gonna have to fix all this shit!" Blitzø yelled motioning to said imp only to reveal that he was in agony from being trapped under the escalator as froth was spilling out of his mouth.

"Oh, chill out, Moxxie. If you kiss my ass any harder, you'll go right inside me. Satan's balls! First we deal with Heaven's table scraps, now this?" Blitzø questioned to no one in particular but Wally joked,

"I guess... you can say, you say, you have a... hole-y operation here, Blitzo!"

Making Ayden raise her eyebrows at the now deadpan glare Blitzø was wearing from Wally pronouncing the "o" in his name while slapping his knee and laughing before Blitzø commanded in an unamused tone,

"Get out."

But Wally kept doubling over in laughter on the floor while Lyle and Loopty just looked on awkwardly,

"Oh! I say, oh!"

"No, I'm serious. Get the FUCK OUT!!"

Everyone's eyes widened at Blitzø's rage starting to show so Loopty, Lyle, and Wally dashed out of the room leaving the team there as Blitzø brushed off his coat before announcing,

"Now that that shit's over with, Millie-"

"I'll run to get the stuff to fix the wall... and Moxxie..." Millie anticipated Blitzø's plan and volunteered before grimacing as she looked over at her barely conscious, still-trapped husband as he squeaked out,

"So daaaaaark..."

"Loona?"

"Nope." She left without another word and slammed the door behind her making Blitzø cheerfully add,

"Alrighty then! Ayden, you're with me to sweep all this up."

"Fine..." She lifted her head up from the table and gave a small stretch before standing up with a significant slouch in her posture.

"C'mon Mox..." Millie hauled her husband up from the rubble and carried him over her shoulder out of the office for the repair supply run.

"Right then..." Ayden was about to walk past Blitzø to the janitor's closet when he suddenly grabbed the back of her shirt to halt her as he told her in a deadpan tone,

"Hold it right there shithead."

"What...?" Ayden just dangled there as she asked in a blank tone before Blitzø turned her around and dropped her back on her feet as he demanded,

"What the fuck's wrong with you today?"

"Don't know what ya mean..." Ayden turned away with her arms crossed as Blitzø pointed at her pushing,

"Don't you try to hide it! Showin' up late for work, you barely made any smartass remarks the whole day, you got shot by a freakin' Heavenly weapon and yet here you are, not a scratch on ya and lookin' and soundin' like some.. kinda.. undead human person thingy!"

"A zombie?" Ayden supplied in the same monotone voice and deadpan look.

"Yes!"

"I haven't b'n sleepin' all that great so I showed up late cause I overslept and I was in human form when I got shot so maybe they jus' don't affect human forms." Ayden answered in the same bored tone she'd been using most of the day while shrugging, but it only seemed to make Blitzø more impatient especially when she tried to walk past him again but he pulled her back by her tail with barely a response from Ayden making him point out incredulously,

"I just fucking pulled your tail and poked your nose and you did nothing!"

"I mellowed out for the day, I'da thought you'd be happy 'bout that since I'm such a 'prude.'" Ayden raised an eyebrow nonchalantly at her boss while making air quotes but he just got in her face to point and accuse her,

"Bullcrap! What is it? H-8? DCBD?"

"If yer askin' if I'm takin' drugs then no... can we move this 'long?!" Ayden was starting to match Blitzø's level of impatience for this conversation making the two of them glare at each other for a minute before Blitzø stood back up and answered peppily,

"Yeah sure!"

Ayden gave him a 'seriously?' face before walking off to get the stuff from the janitor's closet as it was revealed that Blitzø, smirking triumphantly, had managed to use his tail to snag the half-torn baggie of mild catnip gummies with only a few of them still inside from her satchel.

Sniffing it as he grabbed the baggie between two pinched fingers and used his tongue to grab and swallow one of the gummies, he chewed for a few seconds before his eyes popped open wider comedically and he spat out the mushy gummy out of the hole in the wall before muttering,

"Bleh! Seriously, if she's gonna try to hide this, she should at least have the strong stuff..."

Before his eyes widened again and he put on his plotting face with a hand under his chin.

After Ayden managed to find the broom and dustpan she started chucking all the bigger rocks out of the room onto the road down below, smirking a bit when a car honked or swerved followed by imps yelling, when she felt a chill run through her as her nerves start to rise again.

"Urgh!" Ayden stumbled a bit, almost falling right out of the hole in the wall if she hadn't caught herself on the rim when the sharp mental pains decided to rear their heads again.

"Haaah..." She sighed before grabbing her satchel off her back, about to rummage through it for her baggie, when Blitzø suddenly slapped her back making her shove her bag down as he announced,

"Doin' great kid, keep at it!"

Before going back to his office as she gave off another "what...?" look at him before going back into her bag to pull out the baggie and grab some gummies without looking as she kept a watch out to make sure Blitzø didn't try to barge back out.

As soon as she dry swallowed them though, she realized too late that the things she just swallowed were hard, oval-shaped, and definitely not some of her gummies.

'The fuck...?'

Was her last clear thought before her eyes snapped open, pupils dilating until they nearly filled her eyes, fur raised as far as it could go, and everything seemed to sharpen as she shifted to hellcat form just as a huge burst of energy shot through her and she went on a Zoomies rush heightened to 1000.

She bolted all around the room, knocking over things, scratching up the wallpaper, even running on the ceiling for a few seconds before gravity caught up to her and she fell to the floor, landing on her feet and continuing her rush.

She had just bounced off the door to Blitzø's office when he opened it and looked around yelling,

"Christ on a stick what the fuck is goin-"

"MMMROOOOWW!"

Right before hellcat Ayden attached herself to his face with her claws digging into his skin making him yell and jerk his head around in an attempt to get her off before he grabbed her with both hands and tried to pry her off but her claws only hooked in deeper,

"OWOWOWOW YOU LITTLE- SHIT!" Blitzø managed to pull her off his face but she just bit into his wrist and stayed attached there even as he flailed his arm around to dislodge her cursing and yelling even as Millie and Moxxie opened the door to reveal they were back from the store with shopping bags in hand and Loona behind them to see the madness in front of them.

"Note to self; never leave those two alone again..." Moxxie commented while Millie nodded and hummed,

"Mmhmm..."

The two of them left the bags at the meeting table before leaving to wait out this insane development and Loona stayed behind a second to snap a picture, only managing to catch a slightly fuzzy freezeframe of Ayden biting down on Blitzø's arm with her cat eyes almost fully dilated and fur raised but she smirked down at it before leaving the room too.

7004 Words

AN- Most of the outfit changes Ayden goes through in this episode as well as the picture mentioned above are available to see on my Deviant Art account under the same username ^^

Just finished up Truth Seekers yesterday but since I'm planning to combine the Ozzie's and Queen Bee episodes with how Ayden's going to be involved in the events in them with new scenes having to be written instead of just rewriting the existing script, it may or may not take a while. For Season 2, there's going to be a lot more revealing of Ayden's history, history I have yet to fully solidify so those episodes/chapters might also take a while but I will try to have them out as soon as I can without burning myself out since I really do wanna write this story well and for fun

Last thing... HELL YES! Season 1 of Hazbin Hotel has finally been given a release date window January 2024 over on Amazon Prime (here's to hoping it'll be free ^^;) and from the teaser trailer it's gonna be fucking wild (mild Queen Bee reference intentional ;D)

Til the next chapter, Bye!