"I know it won't always be easy but I wouldn't bear to lose you...I know that there is something you are hiding from me...whatever it is you can tell me. I love you more than anything else in this world and losing you would destroy me...I hope I never have to live in that hell without you." Magnus whispered into the silence of the night and he had to think about their big fight. Thinking that he lost Alec already hurt back then but now he knew losing Alec would be like losing himself. They grew so strong together and there was this connection between them that made them strong but also terrible vulnerable. Deep down in Magnus heart he hoped Alec heard his words but he could hear slight snores showing Alec was tight asleep and didn't hear them. Magnus placed a soft kiss on the top of Alecs head before he closed his eyes trying to sleep through the weird feeling in his chest.
Alec woke up because he felt Magnus moving next to him and he sat up in the bed rubbing his eyes. It was only 3am and he looked at Magnus who smiled in his sleep. Alec laid down on his side pushing his head up with a hand and with the other one he caressed Magnus soft lips. "Even in your sleep you look like an Angel. I'm so sorry for hiding the book from you...but I never want to risk anyone reading it. I know I can trust you...but I'm not sure if I can trust myself. You do so much for me...let me give this back." Alec didn't know why he was telling Magnus this but a tiny part of him hoped Magnus heard him talking about the book. He felt terrible guilty on one hand for lying to Magnus like this but he persuade himself that he made the right decision. After everything Magnus did for him he wanted to solve that on his own even he would curse at himself for it. Maybe it was even silly to tell Magnus all that while he was alseep but Alec felt a tiny bit better now. "I love you...and it actually scared me at first. Sometimes it even scars me how much you love me but it is the most beautiful feeling I've ever felt...so thank you. Thank you, Magnus for giving me this love." Alec didn't know where this came from but he felt the sudden need of saying it even he was the only one who heard it. Alec snuggled back in Magnus side and like Magnus was used to it quickly wrapped his arm around Alec even he was alseep. It was around 8 in the morning when Magnus heard his alarm going off and he quickly turned it off not wanting to wake Alec up. Sitting up in his bed Magnus rubbed his eyes and smiled down at Alec who was now laying with his head on Magnus pillow. "You're watching me." Alec suddenly mumbled after Magnus stared at him for a few minutes and Magnus startled a bit because Alec was awake actually. "I thought you were asleep and actually looking at your partner while he is asleep is called romantic." Magnus answered laying down again and Alec opened his eyes smiling right away as he saw Magnus. "I have a meeting at 9:15am...I'm sorry for waking you up." Magnus apologized and gentely pushed the hairs out of Alecs face. "It isn't that early...I'm used to get up at 6am so I will surrive it." Alec chuckled sounding still a little sleepy tho and Magnus cracked a slight smile. Did it hurt to know Alec was hiding something? Sure...but it was Alecs decisions to tell him what he was hiding and when he was telling Magnus about it. "Everything okay?" Alec asked a little concerned when he saw Magnus getting lost in his thoughts and Magnus shook his head a bit shaking himself back to reality. "Everything is perfect...I just don't want to go to the meeting." Magnus answered wanting to ask what Alec was keeping from him so badly but he didn't and Alec seemed to buy his lie. "Mh...I don't want you to go either...can we cuddle for the next 30 minutes? You can get dressed quickly and the meeting is here anyway." Alec asked with the biggest puppy eyes he could make and Magnus just couldn't say now to them but he didn't want to anyway. "Of course...come here." Magnus said laying down on his side and opened his arms for Alec who quickly snuggled into them. Was it weird that even Alec was holding something back and still wanted to be close to Magnus maybe even more than usual? Not really, because both knew actually pretty well what he was risking and what lies could cause. Spending time with each other suddenly felt like a huge privilege that could be gone with the snap of two fingers. "I will go to my place when you have the meeting...I need to talk with Mom and the rest of my family." Alec said after they were both silent for a good 5 minutes and enjoying the embrace of each other. "You are already at your place but I get what you mean. Why don't we go shopping for the dogs then later on?" Magnus asked peaking down at Alec who nuzzled his nose against Magnus chest that was covered by his shirt. "We have to make a rule." Alec mumbled and Magnus rose an eyebrow curious what for a rule Alec came up with. "No shirts in bed." Alec added probably blushing like a strawberry but he hide his face in Magnus chest and Magnus chuckled...//tbc you feel this weird feeling creeping from your toe up to your chest and wrapping it self around your heart? Yes? Well my dear friends that's angst in his early starts😢😨❤❤❤