Running...he was just running as fast as he could and as fare as his legs were carrying him. "Alec...wow...what the heck." Alec lost everything around him and didn't realize Noah came through the gate when he wanted to run out. Noah saw the tearstream running down Alecs cheeks and the empty look in his face remembered him on one specific moment. "I...I gotta go..." Alec breathed out but his voice was hoarse from the cries he tried to keep under control and he passed Noah before he started to run again. His heart cried out of pain and Alec almost couldn't bear this heartache but he had to. With every step he got further away from Magnus the pain increased and it felt like someone stabbed him in his heart. Alec was freezing in the inside but his skin was on fire until cold rain drops touched his skin. Alec was gasping for air like a fish that stranded but there was no chance he would stop to rum because he had to get away as fare as possible. The image of the pain Magnus wore when he realized Alec was leaving him never left Alecs brain and his lungs felt like they would explode any time. He had no idea for how long he was running but eventually he stopped at a street he had no idea where it was and supported himself with a hand on the tree. Cold rain crashed on to him but he was already soking wet and he didn't even care because the feeling inside of him made his senses going numb. The realization of being alone again hit him harder than he thought and now he knew it. He knew that this time there was no one to save him anymore there was no one to make him laugh or make him feel joy. There was no one who would hold him in his sleep anymore or touch him more than just in a physical way. The realization of being all alone again in his personal hell with no sight of help was the pain he took as a consequence. He took all the pain that was ripping him a part and drowned in all the bad emotions just to pray that one day the love of his life would be happy. He hoped that maybe one day this would all be over and he didn't have to feel this constant pain anymore but he knew now there was only on way of ending this. Only if he stopped breathing the pain would leave but he would never be able to leave his family just like that. So for now he was just lost and he would be lost until his heart would stop to beat.
Magnus stood still on the spot Alec left him with tears running down his cheeks and his eyes looking into the nothing. His mind tried to process something but his heart would never be able to understand and his legs started to give up. There was nothing that held Magnus up anymore and he crashed on the ground breaking down into million little pieces. His heart was bleeding out and the air felt like it set his lungs on fire. There were so many things Magnus could ask and so many things that hurt but the pain of the emptiness that was just created was worse than any pain he could ever imagine. The one he loved more than anyone else just ripped out his heart and dropped it. Magnus heart broke so many times but this time he could never put it back together because this hole that Alec left was too big to be filled. Magnus let the pain consume him bit by bit and sobs left his mouth while he knelt in the middle of his kitchen. Magnus hoped that Alec was different and he was so sure that Alec would never break his heart but he was wrong. Alec didn't only broke his heart he broke his whole soul that was already missing him. It felt like he was dying but he thought even dying was easier than feeling this lost of your other part. What would you do if the part that made you feel whole and gave you a happiness that was everything for you left? What if this part just walked out of your life without turning around and never comes back? Magnus thought about every little moment trying to remember  the one moment everything changed. He tried to find reasons why Alec broke up just like that but he didn't find any. So maybe he had to believe Alecs reason...maybe the love Magnus had given to him just wasn't enough and maybe Alecs love was never true.
What do you do in that moment? Eactly. You desperately try to find the problem that you can solve because once you find this special love you don't want to lose it...you can't. Losing that love will destroy you and in the second you lose it you know there will never be something similar to this. Magnus loved Alec in a way you only love once and never again. He tried to put the blame on other things but in the end he could only find one person he could blame...himself. If he was just more perfect...if he was just a better man Alec would love him. The lost of the love that gave you life would never fade it would always be with you. It would always be there whispering in your ear that you're just not good enough...//tbc All this pain and heartache... Will the end be that sad?😔😔❤️💔❤️💔💔