"The thing with Alec is different. He means more to me than Camille or anyone else ever did. Alec is special and I don't need sex as long as I have him next by my side...because I love him and I don't think I will ever stop." Magnus answered feeling like the world stopped when he admited that he loved Alec. He knew he did but saying it out loud made it real but it didn't feel like Magnus thought. Magnus thought it would scare him but this was the best feeling he ever had. "I love Alec and for him...I would wait for the rest of my life." Magnus added and Ragnor smiled getting up to walk to Magnus. "I did my job here. See you tomorrow. Can't believe Magnus Bane grew up finally." Ragnor smiled and walked out of the room but Magnus stopped him when he was just about to walk out of the door. "You knew it...didn't you?" Magnus asked with a frown and Ragnor chuckled a little. "I knew it from the second you didn't want him to sighn that contract." Ragnor answered and now he left Magnus who was smiling goofily. Magnus stood there a few seconds before he heard the front door shut and Magnus made his way back to Alec. When he walked in the livingroom he didn't find a sleeping Alec like expected but Alec was sitting on the couch looking like he was in debate with himself. "Alexander, you're okay?" Magnus asked and Alec jumped a little bit getting up from the couch.
Alec didn't want to hear anything else and walked back downstairs not quiet sure what to think anymore. This was what Magnus wanted and Alec was so terrible and didn't fulfill these needs. The thoughts Magnus seemed to erase the last few weeks were back and eating Alec alive. How could he ever think he could be normal? But what if he just forced himself? What if he just would do it to make Magnus happy and would give him what he wanted. Alec thought he was selfish the whole time and now it was his time to give Magnus something back even it scared the shit out of it. Alec sat down on the couch and tried to prepare him for his made decision but he didn't know how. Only thinking about going future than making out felt like he would die and flashbacks of William started to play in his head. Alec was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even hear Magnus coming back.  "Alexander, you're okay?" Magnus asked with a concerned look and Alec jumped up from the couch. It was so hard to fight the tears back but he had to do this...for Magnus. "Uh...yeah." Alec answered with an almost cracking voice and gulped hard his heart was almost beating out of his chest. "You're sure?" Magnus asked worriedly and walked closer to Alec laying a hand on Alecs cheek. Magnus could clearly see Alecs discomfort but he didn't know what was wrong. "Did you have a bad dre..." Magnus was cut off when Alec smashed their lips together but the kiss felt so weird. It didn't feel wanted from Alecs side and Magnus wasn't sure what to do. Suddenly he felt Alecs shaking hands fumbling around his belt. The taste of their kiss was salty like tears making all alarm bells ring in Magnus head. Magnus quickly caught Alecs hand with his hands and pulled away from the somehow desperated kiss confused as hell. He had now idea what got into Alec and why Alec forced himself right now. "Alexander, what is that supposed to mean?" Magnus asked worried when he saw the thick tears rolling down Alecs cheeks and the desperated look in Alecs eyes was heartbreaking. "I...I want to give you what you want." Alec answered with a trembling voice freeing his hands from Magnus grip and started to undo Magnus shirt. Magnus stopped Alecs hand and it made click in Magnus head. Damn it why did he hear them talking?  "Alexander, hey...look at me." Magnus said with a soft voice because Alec only looked down at the ground. This fear Magnus was feeling right now was bigger than any other fear in his whole life. The fear of losing abother person he loved made him feel like he would drwon but he had to do everything to calm Alec down.  "Just...it's just sex. Nothing special...let's just do it." Alec mumbled and sniffed at the same time trying to escape with his hands from Magnus grip. "No! Alexander,  you didn't understand. I dont want sex." Magnus answered and now Alec looked in Magnus eyes again still tears running down Alecs face. "You...you think I'm too dirty?" Alec sniffed and Magnus could slap himself right now. Magnus felt so desperated right now and didn't know what to do anymore. "No...I never said that." Magnus answered and Alec frowned at him. "But you also don't want to have sex with me. The only reason why could be that I'm used and..." "Alec, stop putting words in my mouth." Magnus cut Alec off with a firm but still gentle voice somehow making Alec a bit mad. Alec didn't know what was wrong but the emotion where just too much for him right now and he didn't know how to handle them. "I'm not a child, Magnus." Alec answered harshly pulling his hands back from Magnus rudely. "Then stop acting like one." Magnus said with a bit louder voice immediately regretting his choice of words when he saw Alecs expression. "I...I need to go." Alec breathed and passed Magnus who stood frozen on his place. Magnus couldn't believe he just snapped like that but he didn't know what to do anymore. Bear followed Alec but he didn't react at all to their fight because the dog was smart enough to know that Magnus would never hurt Alec. Alec felt like he couldn't breath anymore and he had to get out of all the mess he just made. All this mess just because Alec didn't listen till the end and all the mess because they loved each other so much...//tbc oh what did just happen🙁🙁🙁🙁