When high pressure builds up inside something, an explosion is bound to happen.

This was the briefest way to explain how Taehyung felt right now- more or less... fortunately, he hadn't exactly burst yet. No, he was at that 'whistling missile' phase (before the explosion happened) clueless as to when he was going to finally reach his limit. No doubt this whole last week had been hard on him. No reminders were needed here and also no sympathy really because what else was new?

Taehyung NOT being misunderstood by someone?

Taehyung NOT feeling conflicted about his future?

Taehyung NOT having to put another's interest before his?

It was the same damn thing over and over again. This really frustrated him because as much as he tried to avoid these problems, he couldn't. It was impossible! It felt like trouble was drawn to him and there was no way for him to ever lead a less stressful life. Now this had Taehyung indulging a lot of his time into figuring out the source to this dilemma and he concluded one 'theory' from it that wasn't all that shocking.

So the theory... he confidently self-declared that his personality was the problem- the source. Maybe growing up as a timid, shy kid with not a lot of self-worth and barely any opinions to state about anything or anyone had made him to be extremely misunderstood. People probably just didn't get what his intentions were and the chaos that unfolded inside his head every time he interacted with someone- oh I've never seen this person before- shit she's coming over here! What do I say to her? She's smiling at me! Do I smile back? No wait- what if she thinks I like her or something? Oh what do I do?! Where's an invisibility cloak when you need one?!

Does this seem like an overreaction? Maybe (yes). FYI, this was what went on inside Taehyung's head the day he first saw Bora. Yes, she asked him out first and he agreed to it just to avoid the awkwardness of him turning her down.

Was this pathetic?

Yes.

Did he do it on purpose?

No.

So how does this tie together with the current issues he was facing? It was the simple fact that he was never good at speaking out about how he really felt. It was the hardest thing in the world for Taehyung, to feel something and express it into words right after that. There was always this obligatory pause and then he would miss the timing to speak and that usually led to him staying silent and not bothering to even try speaking his mind afterwards. He had done this countless times before.

First and foremost, with Jeongguk... oh that dreadful battle of feelings they fought through before they ended up together. Then with Taehyung's parents... if he'd only just tell them firmly about what he wanted to do with his life, then maybe they're expectations could've been lowered just a tad bit. Next with Jimin in which Taehyung still regretted allowing his best friend to walk away like that.

While Jimin's drunkenness that night partly explained his harsh words and lack of rational thoughts that led to their argument, Taehyung couldn't help but to wonder how things would've turned out if he only-

If he wasn't himself.

Maybe a new, more persistent Taehyung would've stopped Jimin that night. Maybe they would have straight away made up and spend the whole next day joking about oh remember that time you got mad at me because you thought your boyfriend had feelings for me? They would probably laugh their asses off too, feeling dumb for letting such a thing almost fracture their friendship. Although that didn't happen and it's now been a whole fucking week since Jimin had spoken to Taehyung.

Adding that with the stress he got from his mother's visit and the new job he apparently had to get, Taehyung wasn't going to lie, he was freaking out. So many things had happened in such little time. It was overwhelming but at the same time it wasn't something new that he was experiencing. The only thing that mattered was how he chose to handle it and this right here was what led Taehyung to come up with that 'theory'.

Do you know what happens after one comes up with a theory? He dedicates his lifetime to ponder over it and expand it, hoping that it would bring meaning to him and maybe even the people around him- improving, changing them for the better (y'know, all that 'make the world a better place' stuff). And the answer seemed to be clear for Taehyung: stay calm, share his doubts and troubles with someone he trusted and allow himself to be helped- to get better so to say.

So what did Taehyung do?

The exact opposite of course.

He was sick and tired of being the guy who always overreacted to the slightest mishap in life. The thought of going through that process of talking about his feelings, the endless worrying and fear that things weren't going to get better suddenly irritated him more than anything. Why did he have to be the one to feel bad for all that was happening? There were people out there who barely reacted when faced with these kinds of situations so why can't he be one of them?

It didn't take him a second more to decide after that... to ditch the old him.

Taehyung was starting to get used to that heavy feeling pushing down on him. The feeling was there as an indication that he was going to be miserable if he kept this up and he knew this but feigned ignorance. He was trying to cheat himself into thinking that he was fine and almost like there were weights chained to his ankles, Taehyung truly felt like a prisoner in his own mind, refusing to accept the truth and get better.

He spent his time in the apartment going about his day. Taehyung's long bangs covered his brown eyes as his lips were set in a straight line. He sat cross-legged on the ground near the coffee table with his back against the couch. His laptop was opened up in front of him and next to that were a few stacks of papers- the materials Mr Han had given him in regards to the interview for that job position. Also, Taehyung's boss had been generous enough in telling him that he didn't need to come in to the office for a few weeks and that he should focus on preparing for this interview at home.

Taehyung wasn't going to fight it anymore. He figured since everyone (his parents) seemed to be putting their hopes in him to get this job, then the least he could do was make an effort to get past the interview. It was a lot of work to study up on the trial questions the interviewers might ask- apparently to work at a highly reputational news company, you need to be aware of the current issues going on in the world. This right here was his weakness. Taehyung wasn't one to keep up with the worldly events happening somewhere around the globe.

It felt like he was back in college studying for a history test. Upon thinking of that, a memory of Jimin and him resurfaced in his mind. That time Jimin kept bugging him when they were in their History class. How he talked Taehyung into sneaking off to buy him some food. Oh. Taehyung's jaw clenched. He didn't like these memories invading his head this way. He wanted it to stop. He wanted to erase everything- it just...

It just hurt.

Taehyung's eyes drifted away from his laptop screen, letting his face fall into the palm of his right hand. He stayed like that with his eyes closed. Everything was so quiet in that evening and even more depressing as he was currently alone at home. In those conditions with no distraction whatsoever, Taehyung gave up and allowed the rest of the memory to continue playing in his head, but he'd forgotten one thing:

The next scene in that memory.

Him running into Jeongguk at that bakery, how he paid for his food and the last part where Jeongguk turned into a blushing mess when he asked Taehyung if he wanted to have breakfast with him sometime.

Almost instantly, a small smile made its way to Taehyung's lips.

How could he not smile at the image of Jeongguk looking all cute like that.

Then he got reminded of something and turned his head in the direction of the front door. Two and a half seconds passed. Taehyung sighed as there were no sounds of footsteps on the other side of the door, no jiggling of keys and most obviously, no Jeongguk returning after a day of work.

Now taking Taehyung's new behavior into account, it was definitely a question as to whether Jeongguk was aware of his boyfriend's different demeanor and maybe he was but one other thing should probably be highlighted here.

It was the crazy-ass boldness Taehyung had adapted in these mere seven days.

Maybe being depressed and not caring about important things anymore filled him with this braveness; a thirst to try new things without feeling self-conscious or insecure and maybe this was all happening because Taehyung had nothing to lose anymore.

It's hard to worry when you just don't fucking care.

One of the things that helped Taehyung to 'not care' was sex.

This was definitely something new for him. Taehyung hadn't paid attention to it before but lately with how close he'd been getting with Jeongguk- physically, a realization dawned upon him: how fucking good it was to have sex.

Those moments where he has his eyes screwed shut as that fluttering feeling circles around in the bottom of his stomach; that hot body hovering over him as his toes curl with the significant amount of attention his hole receives, his body arching off the bed every now and then as the scissoring gets more intense, then not long from there something bigger- something better enters him and that's when it starts... the build to that climax, that roller coaster ride up, that lip-biting wait until he cummed.

It's hard to put it into words. In that few blissful seconds, it felt as if nothing mattered. Nothing at all except that amazing feeling tunneling through his lower half, strong enough, manipulative enough to compromise his thoughts and leave him to feel free from all the worries in his life in that short time span. Goodness... Taehyung often thought at times, how could a human feel such a heavenly thing.

With all that being said, Taehyung wanted more of it now. To constantly feel that pleasure, forgetting about his problems. What made all this even more exciting was the fact that he got to experience this with Jeongguk. The sole fact that Jeongguk was the one who gave him this immense feeling of satisfaction was a whole different thing. The comfort was there, just to be in Jeongguk's arms, to ride that high together... it was the only thing Taehyung wanted right now.

And what Taehyung wants... Jeongguk gives.

This was why they'd been having a lot of sex in this past week. The foreplay started at the most unexpected times. When work ended: Jeongguk wouldn't even have both his feet stepped into the apartment yet before Taehyung appeared in front of him with a sly smirk. At night: This one incident... They were watching TV when Jeongguk got up to use the bathroom. Though when he got back, let's just say that Taehyung was lying on the couch with less clothes than he had on before.

Mhm, this was how it was now and maybe there was a reason Jeongguk hadn't asked Taehyung about certain things lately. All this sex could be helping Jeongguk as much as it was helping Taehyung.

Things were changing.

They were both not acknowledging it.

How long were they gonna-

The front door swung open, followed by Jeongguk trudging in.

Taehyung was already on his feet, heading in his direction with heavy-lidded eyes. His body was begging for it with the promise of another round of mind-blowing sex. He needed to experience that feeling again in order to escape.

He needed to escape into the only place he was and is ever gonna feel safe.

He needed to escape into this safe haven...

That is Jeongguk.