We are like Two souls of a single being separated through time to wander this universe in the hope that one day we might be whole again.

Today's the same winter morning, the gusty wind with unbearable cold and that same bus stand but not the same us.
"Do you remember this place?" Ryan asks with hope in his eyes and vehemence in his voice.

"No" I reply avoiding his gaze.

"This is the place where we met first. You were sitting on the bench there shivering with cold waiting for the bus", he points to the bench under the shed and I can't help looking at the spot where our souls collapsed. "It was almost sunset. I came and stood near the pillar. You came running and hugged me from back thinking me as you brother; Jason. That warm touch of yours gave my adrenaline a steady rush and thus started our story."

"What story? I don't remember anything. Stop all these", I try hard to avoid the matter, to avoid him.

"Then you said sorry with a soft guilty voice when you realized I'm someone else. That soft voice of yours still buzzes in my ear", he attempts to make me reminisce those moments which are still fresh in my mind.

"Listen Ryan. I need to go", I turn but he holds me back and this touch is making me weak. But I can't fall weak.

"The bus came and then you went away running but leaving your image on my heart. That was not the end rather the start since fate brought us together and we got admission in same college. And then God played His game" he exclaims as his eyes glisters hoping I would remember. But I can't. I have to let it go. Every word of his is hitching my heart apart and I can't help it. 

"What game?"

"Our love story when we both gradually fell for each other passing the sessions of our graduation. You know, I still miss those blushing lies wrapped in your serene eyes when you used to say we are just friends. I love you Bella. Don't you remember me? I'm your Ryan", he brings me more close. I try hard to hold back my tears and I succeed. I can't react. I can't let him hold on to me. I don't know if I'm right or wrong but I guess, Sometimes we are just mere wanderers in this path of life , left with no trace of what to do, and perhaps that's the time when we start doing things we which we shouldn't but our brittle heart is too timid to be convinced. That's what I am trying to do, or I should say I'm doing. I can't express my love for him now. I love him . I love him a lot. And that's the reason I have to go. This brain tumour is at its last stage. It's finishing me off in each passing moment. I do not have much time. If he gets to know about this he will fall apart . He will try every possible way to cure me. But I can't be cured. I don't have much time. I know he'll hold on to me even if I die and I don't want that. I want him to hate me and forget each and every moment of ours. Each and every moment of ours is a Forever. But I want this Forever to die with me. I want him to forget me and live his life, which I know he won't do if he gets to know about this.

I want him to hate me. Hate me so much that I no longer will exist in his mind. That's why I had to pretend this Amnesia. Because in the end, I'll not be there, only my memories will haunt him in his every breathe. I need to go for him, for his good. I know, I have no right to decide his life but I want to try every possible way to make him over me. And I guess this is the better way. "The bus has come Ryan. Let me go ...", I let go of his hands, just like I am letting go everything and each time I'm losing a piece of my heart as well. I don't turn back to him, I'll fall weak. I sit on the bus while he keeps standing at the stand looking at me and I know there's anguish mixed with pain in his eyes. He is broken right now but he'll be alright.. he'll be alright. At least this is better than letting him die every single day in spite of being alive if he gets to know about my tumour. I just hope, at the end, he'll be happy and forget me. This time I let out all my tears which I was holding back. I wanna give one last look at him yet I can't do that. Why is life never fair? You might think I'm doing wrong but I know the reason, views differ right? I am going from his life. Forever. But yeah, I love him... I love him a lot and our love isn't destined to me together. Perhaps God never wanted us to be together. "Let me go Ryan", my heart murmurs.

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Love,
Mithila