Nuri's POV:

~the girls are coming tomorrow~

~

(Lil time skip)

"Are you coming with us?", Kookie asked me. I shook my head.

"I'll just stay here for some time", I replied, sitting up from the bed.

"But.......", he hesitated, "promise me that you won't....do anything to yourself."

"Promise." His eyes softened.

"Jungkook!! We have to go now!", Namjoon shouted from downstairs.

"I'm coming!", he replied and gave me a quick hug, before he left for practise and I was all alone in their house.

"What should I do?", I asked myself, walking around their house and noticing that it was a little dirty.

After an hour of cleaning up and playing around I decided to take a quick shower.

The boys would be back any minute, so I quickly picked some new clothes and walked into the bathroom...

After undressing myself I stood in front of the mirror naked and couldn't help but gasp.

Those cuts on my arms, some on my tighs....
No wonder I didn't have a boyfriend.
Who in the world would ever fall in love with this....

I didn't know why but suddenly my primary school time came to my mind, as I imagined introducing myself with an animal that would represent me.

Zebra.

The cuts looked like stripes, in different shapes and shades of red.

A tear escaped my left eye and I let it role down my cheek while stepping under the shower.

I, again, felt the huge urge to cut myself.

"Resist it", I mumbled to myself, turning on the already water that slowly turned from cold to warm.

I took deep breathes and tried to ignore it, but at some point it seemed to be impossible.

As I was done I changed into some clothes which weren't that comfy and almost ran out of the bathroom into Jungkook's room.

I was still uncontrollably crying and the urge only got stronger and stronger from minute to minute.

I walked up and down the room, hitting my head to stop that voice that kept on telling me how good it would feel to just end it.

I slid down the wall, immediantly hugging my knees as I rocked back and forth.

"Nuri, is everything okay?", Jungkook suddenly asked, while walking into his room.
I froze and looked at him with widened eyes.

I didn't even notice that the boys got back.

"What happened?", he asked, walking up to me.

The older one knelt down and hugged me tight, while rubbing smal circles into my back, trying to calm me down.

That smal action shut the voice up and replaced that urge with a warmth I couldn't explain.

"What happened?", he repeated, not letting me go.

"I can't tell you", I managed to say under my sobs.
"Why not?"

"Because it sounds pathetic!", I cried out.
He let go of me and gently cupped my cheeks.

"You'll never sound pathetic to me. You can tell me everything, okay?"

"I-I.....just.......I'm an ugly piece of trash", I laughed bitterly.

"Hey don't say that! You are not ugly!"

"I am!"

"No you're not! You are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen!"

"You're lying!", I argued.

"No I'm not! You are perfect!"

I scoffed: "I'm far away from being perfect"

"No, you're not. You are perfect. Every single cut on your body, shows you how strong you are. Because you're still alive."

"Do you really think so?", I asked crying all over again.
"Of course", he whispered, wiping away my tears.
"D-Did y-you-", he then asked turning pale as he carefully checked my arms.

I knew what he meant.

"No" I replied, "I promised you I wouldn't...."

He sighed reliefed and hugged me even tighter, if that was possible.
The more seconds passed, the warmer and warmer I got and my stomach felt so weird out of a sudden.

What was happening to me? Why'd I suddenly feel so excited and happy?

Then the door to Jungkook's room flew open and all of the boys exept for Namjoon stood there.

"THE GIRLS ARE COMING TOMORROW!", all of them shouted and Jungkook laughed, leaving me in pure confusion.

"The girls?", I asked.

"Our girlfriends!", Taehyung explained, clapping his hands.

"Oh so all of you have girlfriends?", I asked surprised, hoping that it wasn't true.

"Not all of us, Namjoon and Jungkook are still single. So don't worry, your Kookie is still single", Jimin teased and winked which made me blush.

Not Jimins wink, it was the fact that he knew I was reliefed, that Jungkook was still single.

Wait why am I reliefed?
I don't love him or anything.

I don't....

Do I?

No he's just a friend.

(A/n: Miraculous vibes. Btw I mentally killed myself because of this sentence.
I hate it)

"When will they come here?", Jungkook broke the silence again.

"At 8 am", Yoongi replied.
Even he seemed happy about it all.

"Is everything okay?", Jimin then asked.

"Oh....um yeah", I forced myself to smile.

Fake.
Everything is fake.

"I need some fresh air", I mumbled, leeving the room.
I ran out of their house and outside, not realising how late it was.

It was pitch black outside and even the sky was crying...

It was raining.

I love the rain.

If you're lucky enough, someone will kill you.

And without any second thoughts I continued to run somewhere, anywhere.

Just a little speed walk around the block, in the rain.

At least that's what I thought....

~☆~