Its the worst. Now, that i accepted my love for Donnie, it became harder to stay here..

Every night, i cant sleep cuz im thinking about him.. i want to hug him.. i want to be eith him so badly.. i just.. i didnt know that only one decision could make everything more painful.

Today i walked back to the lair.. i know i cannot go back, but i wanted to see him.. and my family too of course..

I tried to be as quiet as i can, and made sure about no knows i was there. Footsprints, my scent, ect..

As i looked down from the top of the lair, i saw Mikey sitting on the couch.. but his face was.. numb.

He never moved until Leo came in too and hugged him.. from strange reasons, that hug didnt look like a brotherly hug.. when they pulled away, Leo gave him a small kiss.. that was the point, where i almost gasped loudly, i covered my mouth, walking away..

I went to the backdoor of the lab. Donnie was there.. and.. he was so.. sad.. too..

He was sitting on the ground, rubbing his tired eyes.. i watched him as he took out some kind of pills, taking them with some water.

After some minute, he shook his head, and wentback to -probably- working.

I heard him whispering stg so i went closer.
The next lines were too.. i havta write it down..

"Please.. come home.. i.. cannot pretend that im okay anymore.. you havent got a clue how hard is it to me too.. Mikey and Leo got together.. they try to hind it but sometimes, when they kissing.. they.. seem to be so happy..

I would do anything to bring you back.. i.. havent slept since you were gone.. only just a few hours but i always woke up with the same nightmare..

And now, i think im gonna go crazy.. im talking to myself.. no hears me but.. i dont care.. i only need you.. im begging y-you.. ple-please come back.. "

After these.. he cried and trembled from the pain what i caused..

I was too scared, i knew i should stay but i ran away.. again..