Im here again.. i went to sleep but i couldnt.. i felt like someone watching. It wasnt her. I like it when she is watching, but it was someone else.. i feel scared..

I think.. im just gonna write down everything what gets in my mind. I dont have to do anything else.

Patrols gonna start one hours later so i have a little time. Well.. first.. im not only scared about the.. thingy what watches me.

Im scared about Donnie.. he said he wanna talk to me. Why? I mean.. im not alright.. and they noticed it.. but.. he never was the one to care about me.

Leo was.. he was like my soulmate or stg like that.. yes im Raphael know this word.

Back there, he always were there and we could talk about anything. But this is different. I cant tell him.

Not becuz i dont trust in him. I just.. cant tell it to him.

Nor to Mikey.. he is.. my lil'bro.. i cant make his life harder for sharing my problems with him..

So.. if i think like this.. Donnie is the only one. But.. i have the reasons to not tell him too. F.e. i always made fun of him for being too girly, or soft. And now.. i feel like i wpuld just use him, and its isnt fare.

And.. if i think about Dad.. i.. i dont know.. i want to show him that in alright, so he could be proud of me. Yeah.

That is more than enought..

Someone knocked again.. what the hell. I be right back. Who would it be..