Well.. i have a lot of thing to write down.. i dont even know where to start.. but im sure about something.. i will leave this place. Forever..

When i opened my door to Donnie, he came in casually and sat down on my bed.

I stared at him, but he just smiled, patting the place next to him.

His eyes.. showed.. warm.. softness.. i.. trusted in him somehow..

I closed the door, and sat down.. far away from him, i sat down on the end of the bed.

He watched me. There wasnt any bad on his expression. I calmed down a bit.

"Raph.. i just want to talk with you. Would you come closer?" He asked and i got really nervous.. i felt if i try to swallow, i probably couldnt. I went a bit closer. Putting my arms around myself.

"Please.. it hurts me too to see like this.." and that was it.. i.. i let go of my tears. I cried softly but as i felt his arms wrap around me, hugging me in his chest.. i felt so warm.. in.. safe.. i cried in his shoulder for some moment then i heard her.

"What are you doing..? He just want to see you weak to tell the others that you are week. Run away. He just want to hurt you"

I didnt wanted to believe her. But.. she was the only one there for me when i was alone. I have to trust her more than anyone.

Run.. thats it.. my only escape.. im still thinking about runing away.. cuz what he did next.. destroyed me..

He pulled back a little to look me in the eyes..
I felt his dark brown eyes scanning me endlessly.. i.. wanted to run badly. I wanted to move. Even thought she said to run too, i couldnt move.

He leaned closer to my lips.. i knew what he wanted.. and.. i honestly dont know why..

I let him kiss my lips.. i was scared.. angry.. terrified.. but i didnt.. moved..

He pulled back and saw me in tears still. He hugged me again. I started to lose every feeling.. i got.. completely numb.

He hugged me.. kissed me again.. but.. i let my eyes look in the nothing. It was worse then the feeling of being afraid of everything.
I felt him grab my hands and leading out. Before that.. i would never leave my room like this.. but back there.. i didnt care..

We went to the bathroom. He washed my hands.. my face.. he hugged me multiply times.. gentle.. kindly.. but.. i.. did..

Nothing.

He finished cleaning my back too and i never moved. He accidentally touched my tail.. but.. even thought it felt weird.. i couldnt move. He said a small sorry.

He probably noticed that i got numb, cuz he picked me up.. i shrivered a bit of the sudden lose of the ground. I pulled my knees closer to my chest as he carried me to his room.

I stared at his door and he smiled.

"I want to make sure you wont hurt yourself Raphie.." i shrivered again. I heared her again.. crying.. yeah.. i wanted too..

I asked him to bring you here to me. I trusted in him that he wont open you.

Now.. he is still working, and im sitting on the bed.. writing..

I should run off..