'A sunflower soul
with rock n roll eyes
curious thoughts
and a heart of surprise'
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I don’t share

Sadhvi’s POV

I walked into the kitchen greeting Grace aunty, “Hi”

She nodded smiling at me; now making rotis, whatever she was preparing earlier was inside the pan ready to be served. It was quarter past seven in the evening.

Oh I was missing cooking on my own already. I was itching to prepare something but it can wait for later I had more work to do or more like an escape plan to execute.

The little sigh that escaped from me infront of my husband previously I was embarrassed for that reason, although Avrudh had no idea of what cooks in my mind but the decent part of me surely did.

A little paranoid of making a stupid out of myself, I was here planning to surround myself to escape the shame. A distraction I needed.

A ting sound came and I looked around to focus on what was inside the oven being baked.

Monica from behind went to the oven when it tinged.

“What have you made?” I asked smelling the scent of something sweet, tucking my hands inside the jeggings pockets I was wearing, I moved forward

She took out two trays of blue berry muffins and I went into coma there itself, “You made muffins for us”

I almost jumped on my spot like an idiot, which I was behaving like today anyways, I walked upto to Monica,
“We didn’t but Avrudh Bhaia sure did.”

She said grinning and kept the tray on the counter. He made twelve of them.

I stood there a little in shock. Avrudh can bake! This recent information brought a memory back in my mind. The texture of muffins was similar and I was sure here about the muffins I received on our very first date were the muffins he prepared for me. Especially.

“Avrudh cooks the best food ever”
Grace’s face smiled on its own, it was like she was living a memory. A memory that they share as a family like Mom told me yesterday.

Grace Aunty has been a part of the family since Avrudh was a five year old toddler, from taking care of him as a nanny Grace aunty has been there and the count of the memories they must be sharing together were beyond my fingers to point at.

I smiled looking at her. Suddenly I wanted her to tell me more, I wanted to know more about Avrudh, how he cared for her and her daughter. Because I wanted to be the same, I wanted to have what he has with them, I wanted to be a part of this sweet smile.

They adore him it was written all over their faces and Avrudh respected them no doubt.

I blinked, the feelings I stood there developing in me for him were intense, too strong that I was dying to take them out. But couldn’t.

I was respecting him, I was earning his trust slowly, I was being a part of his life with baby steps, I was getting used to him and I was trying to fit in his world.

I was falling and I wanted to know before causing the damage that the fire is mutual or not. I was leaving severe effects on my path ahead something told me.

The bird in my stomach started fluttering her wings reminding me of that day when I was busy telling him otherwise, the guy was secretly seeking my good words for the dessert he had prepared for me that night and this night too.

Especially or not he made an effort. A serious effort and I instead of kissing it decided to ruin the moment.

Cooking was something we all do for the people who matter; we don’t cook for no reason and feed it to an outsider, any walking past stranger. We prepare food for the ones who matter. To seek their approval, a mere reward.

And just like that I wanted to apologize and kiss Avrudh altogether.

To kiss or not to kiss that was the question.

Ofcourse I wasn’t going to kiss him or I will be losing the bet then.
I was going to make him lose first; I was going to make him ask for it. And then I was going to kiss him senseless afterwards.

Horny cockroach you speak again!

I pursed my lips with my own potty thoughts and decided to wait in the room until the dinner was ready. I nodded at both of them and told them to call me once Avrudh was done working.

Without waiting for their responses I walked out and I was three meters away from the kitchen when I bumped into him.

My hands resting on his abs

Someone is solid.

Hey! How you doin’?

Avrudh’s hands inside his black sweatpants stayed where they were when we bumped and I was disappointed.

Envelope me you duffos!

My eyes from where my fingers were feeling him, moved up trailing from his grey hoodie clad chest to his shady chin to those dark rosy lips to his pointed nose and finally looking in his eyes.

He looked into my eyes right there, lost, his face mast like but reading me. I desperately wanted to believe he left his study because he wanted to see me, my awkward rush out of the room dragged him to me.

Still keeping my hands there I asked him, “You never told me you baked those muffins”

His face gave nothing but eyes started to move between mine, he was shy. I smiled, “I am sorry for what I said that night without knowing you…”

“Don’t mention it” he said assuring me with his eyes, with a voice little too husky

We were still not separating ourselves.

“Still... I said I don’t fancy sweets but I forgot to mention muffins I crave all the time”

He looked at me unconvinced

“Blueberry is my favourite and I want you to bake more for me, planning to have them for breakfast every day since I am here for eternity now”

That made him smile.

“I baked them for the journey tomorrow”

I nodded, “Wonderful idea!”

We both smiled at each other and decided to move, finally, Avrudh walked to the dining table and like a good kid I was, I followed.

I bit my lip saying, “I ate all of them”

He stopped in his tracks and turned to look at me, although he knew what I was talking about Avrudh still played dumb.

For someone so intelligent he sure was a tease.

From the periphery of my vision I saw Grace smiling to herself. Probably witnessing the newly married being all lovey-dovey. Monica was standing beside her mother but she was pursing her lips trying to keep her smile at check.

“All six of them, I ate them all. I don’t share” I said with bold eyebrow raise of mine

Avrudh said nothing just stood there with his hands in his pockets and a smirk on his face.

I was so going to jump off this cliff called love.

.

.

My alarm blared waking me up at five o’clock in the early morning, with an arm extended I shut it out. Or maybe I only snoozed it. I do that all the time.

I wouldn’t know my eyes were still closed.

I was excited the whole night before falling asleep and now that I am up, even if my body is protesting against waking up I was smiling.

I was going out on my honeymoon.

I opened my eyes facing where Avrudh was sleeping to my left, I brushed my hair off my face and stared.

Avrudh laid there with eyes closed, lips pursed straight on his back, if it wasn’t for the slow rise and fall of his chest I would’ve guessed something very dangerous like I did on my first morning on his bed.

Avrudh sleep like dead. No parting of lips, no movement of eyes under closed lids even his hands are kept interlaced on the top of his stomach.
Like I said sleep like dead.

I pulled myself up on my elbow sideways and leaned closer to him.

My eyes having mind of their own started taking him in, the view was magnificent and I couldn’t help smiled even bigger.

With my free hand I brushed the rogue strand of my bed hair once again that escaped and decided to wake him up too. I taking the opportunity ran a light hand against his cheek feeling his light beard.

I was right, right that this is the kind of rough I would never mind running my hands through. Ever.

Softly taking one finger from his cheek to his lips I lingered there. Avrudh still wasn’t moving. He is a heavy sleeper.

I scooted closer, this time being bold using my soft touch I touched his other cheek too, I couldn’t leave that cheek in wanting.
Avrudh still lay there flat, his chest rise and fall was same.

I pursed my lips narrowing my eyes at him.

No matter how many times I wanted him to kiss me he never did. If I was teasing him he sure was reciprocating the torture. I was tired of all this staring.

That moment I was cursing him for raising the challenge of me asking him to kiss  first.  I am not going to kiss you unless you ask me to, his words still fresh in my mind.

After the first ever kiss I had, I needed one more to re-live the feeling. I wanted to know what more he has got in store for me, how the next kiss is going to feel like.

My eyes moved from his cheeks to memorize the curve of his nose, from his forehead to the tip of his lips. I made an outline of it in my memory.

Without thinking twice I pinched his long nose waking him up with a startle.

He in horror looked up and then at me, “What the fuck?” he shouted

You have no right to look this cute while sleeping!

I made a serious face,
“Do you have any idea for how long I have been trying to wake you up?”

The blame game always works.

He looked at me blinking twice before rubbing his face with his hands, “I didn’t knew, but please find some other way to wake me up, you scared me.”

We can surely find one. A kiss perhaps?

Oh no losing the bet please.

I held back the urge to laugh, his face now looking at the ceiling when he asked, “What time is it?”

I looked at my phone turning back for a short while craning all my back muscles, “Five fifteen”

He nodded running a hand through his hair. He isn’t a morning person I beckoned.

“You sleep like dead” I commented.
Fuck Sadhvi, what are you doing?
It’s five in the morning. And he clearly isn’t enjoying this.

His head snapped turning to look at me, “Excuse me!”

I laughed looking at his shocked face, “Sorry, but you really do.”

He half glared and half looked at me with an amused expression, looking in between my eyes he re-taunted,
“Said the woman who sleep on her stomach”

I gasped now pulling myself away from him and yes I was still lying on my stomach,
“What is wrong with sleeping on my stomach? It’s absolutely normal.”                             

He raised one of his perfectly sharp eyebrow at me, “normal for men but for women with…” his eyes trailing down from my face to my chest

When sitting up straight I wrapped my hands around my chest glaring at him, “Are you calling my bobbies small? You body shaming me!”

Shut up Sadhvi! Shut up!

His laughter boomed against the wall ringing my ears, and I was suddenly hit by the best sound I’ve ever heard. My glare threatened to melt.

“I never said that” he denied what he meant getting up from his position now leaning against the headboard looking at me.

He yawned covering his mouth with the back of his hand rubbing his nape with the other

“You sure did.” I said

He smiled and leaned in close to me raising his eyebrows again. When he said nothing just stared at my sleepy face I suddenly felt conscious. I sure had sleepy eyes and marks on cheek because of lying on it.

“I am so going to complain about this to your mom” I said that too his face

A chuckle escaped his mouth, “You going to tell my mom that I talked about your… your” he pointed at my boobs

I gasped leaning away from him without support against my back, “I… I will tell her… I don’t know but I will surely complain about you to her. You talk dirty to me.”

He laughed again this time and pulled my hand so that I was face level with him,
“I have more if you want some real content, Sadhvi”

My eyes widened when he tried to lean close to my lips brushing his nose with mine. I pushed his chest away and blushed getting up from bed, “I am going to tell her you don’t brush your teeth too before trying to… trying to”

I stomped my foot when I realized once again I dug a hole for myself when he chuckled again now resting on his elbow on bed looking at me.

“I am going to brush my teeth you… you dirty kid”

He said laughing when I showed him my back walking towards the bathroom

“You are sick, you know that!” Avrudh announced

Shutting the bathroom door behind me I held a hand upon my heart, blushing I tried to calm myself down. I was an idiot it being announced from the other side of the door.

His laughter said it all.

.

.

Two hours past found me sitting on the passenger seat of my car which my husband was driving.

For honeymoon we were going to Manali, Avrudh’s family has a farmhouse there. Where mom went for her honeymoon, she told me all those sweet memories with so many emotions that I couldn’t stop myself asking for the same plan.

My car was comparatively compact so we chose the same and left the house by six thirty in the morning, with light breakfast and big lunch plans near Delhi-Punjab border at Haveli, one of the famous family restaurants on national highway.

I looked at the truck passing by, I lost the count how many I have seen by now, highways are full of trucks and lorries. I yawned looking at Avrudh.

I was bored and he wasn’t fun to be around.

“I am bored” I whined and he laughed

“I told you we can go somewhere else, it was you who decided to go to Manali, that too by car”

I made a face

“this isn’t my fault, I purposed the idea of going to Paris or Switzerland if you remember” he said checking his side of the side mirror, changing lane.

“Oh so this is how you are making me suffer” I said with a straight face

He laughed again, “You can listen to some music if you want to”

I turned to pick up the box of muffin from the backseats and took one out before keeping the bags back again,
“This is your third one since morning and its 10 a.m. only”

I gasped, “You are counting, even my mother never did that” I said dramatically running a hand on my stomach

With a smile Avrudh continued driving, “Meheka, told me about your sugar rush that’s all I am worried about”

I laughed, “Oh I know, I eat sugar occasionally and it messes with my system pretty good everytime”

“Give me your phone” I asked looking at him and then at the highway toll bridge we were about to enter

“Take it, it’s in my pocket” Avrudh said

I pursed my lips, Avrudh was wearing blue denim jeans and a dark blue full sleeved t-shirt, the pocket he was referring to was the pocket of his jeans.

I leaned forward and touched his thigh where his phone was winking at me, with a little to too much of struggle I fished it out and looked up at him remaining in the same position while sensing the car halting.

The car has stopped waiting in the line. I was under Avrudh’s space, his one hand was on the gear shift box behind me and other one was holding the steering wheel, if anything I was caged and me resting near his lap touching him had both of us frozen.

My mind was once again running miles, picturing several dirty scenes.

Avrudh didn't dare to move, we were both in a vulnerable space. I was so close to him and his forbidden zones.
We were breathing and not breathing both at the same time.

We both paused and looked at each other sharing the moment when a truck with its blaring naagin (in hindi 90s movie) horn passed our stopped car breaking both of us apart.

Stupid!

Stupid truck!

  I smiled at Avrudh moving back to my seat- Awkward-  my brain was singing in different irritating voices.

I switched the Bluetooth ON of my car stereo and did the same with Avrudh’s phone. I was interested in his music list more than mine, I was curious to what my husband listens to.

“Password?” I asked

Without running a second thought not looking at me Avrudh gave me the password and waited for the Fast-tag to get scanned and let us pass.

I searched through his application list and when failed to find any music app or even an built-in album I asked,
“Where is you playlist?”

“I don’t have any” he said looking at me once

“What?!”

“I don’t listen to music”

I laughed, “Funny. Now tell me honestly”

“I am serious, Sadhvi” he deadpanned

“You are not normal you know that” I said turning to point at him

He just winked once and smiled that famous Avrudh smile at me and I melted right there

Shaking my head I opened YouTube, the only possibility I could find and asked, “Any genre in particular you would like to listen to?”

“Anything you prefer, what you like I will listen to it” he said in an understanding way

I mimicked because that sentence touched my heart and I had to react. I had to!

He laughed and I played Chakna Chakna from Namastey London.

I sighed with a smile on my face leaning my head back against the seat.

“You like Akshay Kumar”

I jumped on my seat pointing at him, “I thought you said you don’t listen to music. And I loooove Akshay Kumar”

He looked at me funny when I stretched the word dreamily and said,
“I said I don’t listen to music not movies”

I mimicked him again. I had to!

God what was happening to me?

'I crave a love that drowns ocean'
- by k.azizian

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With love
Ankita 🐿️