'I knew he was out there'
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No one but him

Sadhvi's POV

The night ended with me dropping Avrudh home.
I made sure to drop him inside the gates because I knew I had ruined his reputation in front of his staff members and I needed to build that back up.

Every hour I spend with him, reminds me how fast I was falling for him. How fast my heart was beating in front of him.

I was leaning close, then closer because I wanted him to know I was there, I was walking down a road where I was destined to meet him.

Something told me he knew about the game I was playing, he knew of me blushing, he knew of me acting tough when I was going mushy.

Teasing him was funny because I was hiding myself behind him. I was a virgin, I was a lip virgin too, hell I was a cheek virgin even.

The relationships I had, lasted not more than a week and in a week nothing could ever happen. It was too soon and never felt right.

Avrudh has this power over me which makes me feel free of every boundary I’ve ever had.

Since my whole life I've saving my heart from feeling such way and in front of him, it was acting as if unleashed finally.

His every move was smooth, so smooth that it looked practiced several times. If only it wasn’t me believeing him for real I would’ve guessed him lying.

He was too good in this game of teasing. Avrudh knew everytime when I was to blush and pressed onto that.

If I was leaning he was leaning too, if I wanted him to know that I was interested he was reciprocating it with both palms. Avrudh was a strong man who somehow tamed his manliness in front of me, I took that as he allowed me to drive.

 Men don’t let you drive while themselves sitting shot-gun.

The inflated ego they have is huge to such blow but Avrudh grinned and allowed me to. He sat there beside me hands crossed over his chest owing a face so blank but there was some hint of pride in the eyes.

God I so want to be like him. So proud and powerful.

“What is in the bag?”
I asked looking at the paper bag kept in my car backseat

“Blue berry muffins”

“Oh thanks alot though I am not really a fan of sweets” I said turning the steering to the right before coming to a complete stop.

Looking outside he nodded, saying no word.

I said without giving a thought to the idea that he bought this for me, being considerate once again.
This was a gift Avrudh bought for me especially and instead of respecting his thought I was stating my awful taste.

Just how many blows Sadhvi?
Don’t you have done enough damage?
Stop bruising the man’s ego.

I even forgot to mention blue-berry is the flavor I love the most.

I stopped the car in front of his house and we both climbed out. I walked upto him and offered him a sincere handshake saying,
“I am sorry once again but you can’t deny nothing can ever top this. I repeat EVER.”

Handshake felt safe because I was going to jump on him this moment if not this right now.

He smiled inching close to me, so close that I was suddenly anxious of what to come, “It was perfect. I am glad that I was stood up”

The distance eliminated and my eyes widened. What is he upto?

I stepped back and laughed,
“Stop mentioning that again and again.”

Distance. I needed to make distance.

He shrugged once again stepping closer, entering my space,
“You have something to say all the time, don't you?”

I blinked because suddenly he was in front of my face in the blink of an eye. He was tall, so tall that me reaching his shoulders felt so delicious to me.

Now in front of his house where lights were good, I saw his face more nicely. He trimmed his beard and that made his masculinity speak loads.

I wanted to fan myself.

Was it me only or November was chilly these day?

He kept a hand in the small of my back and brought us pressed together,
“Now that I see you, you were dressed to impress me”

I blushed like cherries and looked at his shirt’s second button, which clearly wasn’t a good idea either I wanted to pop it open and have my eyes pleased.

B

y now I knew Avrudh was an eye candy.
And all mine to claim.

“You are obviously not denying that” he said leaning close to me ear

I shuddered. No it wasn’t him it was the wind.

Keep telling yourself that.

I love it Avrudh keep doing that!!!

Blushing I pushed him and made a decent distance between us,
“This was the first...Aaand last date Mr. Dhillon”

“Last date until you are wearing my name on your finger, Ms Nanda. And you will be Mrs. Avrudh Dhillon the next time I am taking you out on a date when.”

I felt my face warming with the thought
“I better go home”

“Ring me up once you are home”
he said beaming knowing what he was doing.

I wanted to laugh at the clichéd demand but not deciding to feed his ego. That  moment I made my leave.

That night I got to know one more thing about him, when we were alone he respected my personal space.
Not to make me uncomfortable in the absence of anyone else with us, he kept his boundaries.

But now that we were parting and probably had a good audience he took no second to jump up the opportunity to flirt.

He was mending his reputation back along with melting me completely. He knew what he was doing, with some re-touches to his personality Avrudh was also stating that we were meant to be.

He wasn’t a nerd, he was smart to not to indulge in nonsense of high schoolers and love sick people in my opinion.
My opinion strictly.

Just because you didn't get someone that time you cannot state your opinion on others Sadhvi.

Urgh....

He had his limitations and priorities checked and I fell for that.

He respects me just like his mom said he would and I find myself falling for that. I was not ever going to regret marrying him.

In my office I wanted him to know that, with the signs of me leaning close to him, serving food to him, drinking cold drink from the same bottle meant something to me. And I was not hiding that.

I was learning to give myself to him.

I told him a few things about me and hide a few, I wanted to see how long will it take for him to figure that out. How long will it take for him to understand I have saved all my firsts for him.

I’ve kept my heart locked for long because I have planned to fall in love only once and forever. The place I have kept deserve to no one but him.

.
.

It was like I was floating these days, no we were not talking regularly just a message here and there but this had me floating nevertheless.

It was as if I was half asleep and half awake when the day comes to an end.

I was shining more these days, a little more than usual. Because the idea I had to build this emotion between us it was gracefully working.

I had set this limit between us set when I last met him, stating clearly to keep our interactions to the least.

It wasn’t torture; it was me creating anticipation between us, what will happen the next time we are going to meet. This will make our next meeting magical. Even.

I am used to taking control of my actions, I have been a planner, I need to prepare myself for the future, I need to have a hang of it always.
And my feelings were growing unexpectedly unplanned for him.

I was meant to plan my every step. I am nervous when I am in line of his site and this is something he blesses me with very frequently.

Avrudh leaning close to me, breathing in my air, like the night of our date was dangerous for my heart. I was going to make myself a heart patient with this speed.

He never touched me in an intimate way but stared with so much intense longing which got me sleepless nights.
His eyes were haunting me, haunting because this feeling inside of me is growing fast, so fast that I was having a hard time putting s leash to it.

The date night drown me in guilt for so many things.

To begin with I was guilty of standing him up, I was also guilty because I made him hesitant to give me the flowers he bought for me, and I was also guilty for not respecting his gift for me.

He bought blue-berry muffins for me and I on his face opened my shit mouth.

I did not mean to insult him, that was my nervousness talking. I had too much in my mind to digest.

Avrudh is a compassionate guy who cares for me and I unintentionally but did hurt him. He never showed it but I know somewhere he was hiding the words I said.

I was a little touchy that night, interlacing our fingers, pulling him close, toughing his arm and reciprocating his stare.
These reasons were making me smile like a goof.

I was making a fool out of myself in front of him and still I am not regretting because, if I was to go back in time and get a chance to redo it, I will still be doing the same.

The realization of feeling too much too soon was like a bucket of cold water on my raging hormones.
But I promised myself to grow passionate and worthy enough for these feelings. I am waiting because I want this all to be true and fair.

I was left deprived for so long and now that I have the pitcher I am going to quench my thirst slowly, savoring every flavor.

It is you in a relationship holding the reins and which direction to choose should be your choice, whether to run or walk it through, that also is your soul right.

It feels like it was just yesterday when I saw him for the first time outside the club and now I am standing in front of the mirror all dressed for our engagement.

I was wearing a off-white Lehenga with cold-shoulder blouse. The top lining was of net with white and golden leaves and flowers embroideries.

It took two hours for me to reach this stage of satisfaction with my look. No matter how many times the make-up artist told me to sit calm, I always panicked about my make-up.

I am one of those people whose eye-lids quiver when somebody else apply the eye-liner and because of that we had that re-done two times with each eye.

I made sure to not to let them cover my cheeks with too much blush because with Avrudh’s presence this was a natural happening. I couldn’t afford to look like a freaking tomato the whole night.

I was feeling confident in what I was wearing, how I was looking.

I leaned over the dresser and looked at my nose, there have been times where people forget to blend the make-up around their nose perfectly.

And looking at my nose reminds me of Avrudh’s nose.
His long nose

There were many times of us being together where I wanted to tease him a little about his nose but held my mouth shut, not wanting to ruin the moment.

The fact about his nose being long is what appeals me about him. This makes him look hotter.

Meheka said sighing from my side,
“you look absolutely stunning”

Rajveen winked from my back when I looked at her through the mirror, she was carrying her baby.

“Do you think I need to change these earrings, I have another here in my bag”
I said nodding towards my vanity

I was wearing green Victorian stone polki style earrings, the diamond studs in the center were uncut and shiny, and the green stones dangling from the end were what highlighting the effect they were leaving.

“No, these highlight your face more than the ones you have”
Meheka said looking inside the vanity

“Oh suck it up, you are just nervous” Shireen said patting my shoulder

Rajveen laughed and moved to give the baby to Shireen, the baby patted Shireen’s smiling face giggling when Shireen cooed at her and Rajveen said,
“Yeah and she is never going to admit that”

She picked up the bottle of perfume from the dresser and turned to spray it on me.

She prayed the fragrance on both sides of my neck, my clavicles, under the arms, between elbow folds and wrist,
“Now walk through this”

She said spraying the perfume in the air and asked me to walk into the fragrance;

Rajveen believes the fragrance this way lingers longer because it is everywhere now, from hair to even clothes without really staining or hurting.

 Both of theirs husband and families were in the party, enjoying and they were here being my bride’s maid.

“Me too” piped in Meheka asking for perfume too brushing her hair behind her back. I smiled.

Few things never change.

Just then her phone chimed.

“Sanidhya, just texted. It’s time. We should go.”

And as if on cue my heart started to race, threatening to break my rib cage.

I clutched onto Meheka’s and Rajveen’s hand staring at Shireen. They giggled.

 We walked out of the room assigned to me here at the venue.

Ever hear of the infamous Tivoli Gardens.

Yeah that!

Fancy it is but that’s what they settled on with my request of a low key wedding.

The venue we chose was open air winter theme, in December winter.

The planners had it all set before six in the evening. They have infused rustic winter into party, white flowers and lights everywhere, it looked cozy and at Himalaya’s altogether.

I walked out of the temporary residing area with a little too much anxiety in my head, my hands were clammy and cold, my heart was hammering in my throat.

My lips were twitching with too much blushing. They do. Everytime.
And I was refraining myself from thinking about my red cheeks.

My friends and sister beside me were supportive enough to walk with slow and steady steps while uttering to themselves, trying hard to distract my stress.

Once I was in the open air, the air hitting me the world stilled. Whatever the guests were doing they paused and stared.
I died a little inside.

My family was standing near the stage awaiting my arrival. I smiled looking down.

I gave my whole un-diverted concentration to the task of reaching the stage. I was even counting my breath.

The path for me to walk looked magical, electric candles and white lilies lead me to the stage, where my fiancé was waiting.

I looked up and met Avrudh’s eyes, his eyes were gleaming and he was shining. Maybe he was shining because of the light but his smile made me believe otherwise.

He walked down the stage as soon as I reached him and held his hand in front of me to hold. Blushing I caved within letting him lead.

His palm was warm and his hold was firm, it felt like his promise to hold me forever. I was so lost in this big moment of my life that the photographers and people taking our pictures were least of my concern, I wasn’t really paying attention yet I was attending to the pose commands.

My sister and his brother in a beautifully decorated tray brought our engagement rings and smiled looking at us.

Holding his ring in between my finger I looked into his Avrudh’s eyes.

It was one of those moments, moments where everything you were holding slips. They just slip, just like that, from between the web spaces of your fingers they escape.

I was holding onto my dear heart as if life, but that moment it stopped belonging to me anymore.
I wanted to grip it tight, to get a firm hold of it yet it didn’t budge. With the slip of my ring in his fourth finger, he held the hostage of my heart as well.

It was a moment where I was in front of so many people but only him mattered, I was standing there like I promised on our date, where he said on our next meeting I will be wearing his name on my finger.

Avrudh with smile in his eyes held my left hand and slid the ring in, instead of looking at the ring I was looking at him. The epitome of grace.

 He wasn’t giving to many emotions like me but that small twitching smile was screaming how he was controlling that all in. He was too known to keep a control on it.

The only wish I made this night was to stay a little longer in this moment, I wanted to take a pause, I wanted to hover over this feeling.

This moment of young tender love I was feeling in my old heart, I wanted to hold still and touch it.

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'He stepped down trying not to look at her,
as if she were the sun
yet he saw her like the sun even without looking'
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I really wanted to update early but got stuck with some work.
I know it is midnight but I am here to make your nights magical anyways.

So enjoy reading this chapter with so many pictures and let me know how it was.

With love,
Ankita 🐿️