Old Habits Die Hard
Comfort. Bliss. Happiness. Was there even a word in existence that could describe my relationship with Teddy? I suppose everybody feels that way when they start a new relationship, but something about this was different. I couldn't quite describe it. It was the way he treated me, the way he looked at me, it was everything and nothing all at once. Just something about being with him felt different. In the best way possible.
Work was practically torture now. I couldn't wait for my shift to end so I could rush home and see Teddy. Especially today. Things seemed to be moving in a good direction with us so far. So, there was something I wanted to do. I couldn't contain my excitement. I hummed happily as I wiped down the counter.
"Ah, to be young and in love," Tilly chuckled. "Nothing like it in the world."
I couldn't help blushing a little as she said that word. "I'd hardly call it 'love,' Til. We've only been going out for a couple of weeks."
"Doesn't take much time to fall, Linny. Sometimes it only takes a minute. That's what happened with me and Harry." She sighed nostalgically. "He had just opened this little hole-in-the-wall diner. I came in with a girlfriend to celebrate my divorce being finalized that day. Our eyes met through the service window. He stared at me, mouth agape, like a fish out of water. Not that I minded at the time. He was quite a looker when he still had his hair, you know.
When my friend and I finished lunch he brought over the bill himself. I remember thinking at the time that it was odd for the cook to do that. Until I looked at it. That shy dope wrote a note on it asking me for my number! Well, I suppose you can guess I gave it to him. The rest is history."
"That sounds like Harry alright," I chuckled.
"Hey! I can hear you hens," he muttered from the kitchen. "Don't you have work to do?"
"Oh, hush, you old curmudgeon," Tilly said, shooing him. "It's slow anyway. Go back to your grill and let us girls have our fun."
He muttered under his breath at this but did as she said. I couldn't help smiling. Even when they talked that way, it was easy to tell how much they loved each other. If I could have half of what they had one day, then I think I'd be happy.
"Oh!" Tilly cried, remembering something. "By the way, your friend came in a moment ago. Feel free to go say hi."
"My friend?"
"Yes, the one who dropped by your place not too long ago."
I gave her a blank stare. My friend? What friend? The only person who visited me was Teddy and I was pretty sure he wouldn't come all the way into town just to see me at work. Especially since I'd be home in a couple of hours. Her face grew concerned the longer I stayed silent.
"You know, your friend from Ohio," she clarified. "Did he not drop by? He told me he was going to go see you while he was in town."
Ohio? That word sent a wave of panic through me. Tilly pointed over to a table in the back corner. It was my worst fear come to life. Greg.
He stared at me intently as if waiting for me to come over. I was frozen in place. In my wildest dreams, I never would have thought he would have pulled a stunt like this. Lying to get my address? Showing up at my house out of the blue? Now showing up at my job? It was beginning to reach a frightening zone I didn't know Greg was capable of reaching.
What was he doing here? What did he want with me? Was he going to stay for my whole shift? Would it make things worse if I ignored him? Would it make things worse if I talked to him? Was he planning to follow me home?
What could I do? Teddy didn't have a phone, so I couldn't call him. I doubted the police could do much since he hadn't actually threatened me. Nothing illegal about sitting in a diner, after all. My head was spinning, my heart was going a hundred miles an hour. Then, I felt a soft hand on my arm.
"Lin, are you okay?" Tilly asked nervously. "You look like you've seen a ghost."
"Tilly, did you give that guy my address?" My voice trembled as I spoke.
I'd been wondering for weeks how Greg somehow managed to find me way out in the backwoods. At the time, I was too concerned with getting rid of him to worry about it. But now? Looking at Tilly's concerned face, I guess I had my answer.
"He said he was an old friend from your hometown," she explained, looking increasingly worried. "He said he knew you came up here with an ex, but he wasn't sure where you were since you left the guy. He said he wanted to see you before he left. Why? What's wrong?"
"Tilly, that is my ex," I said, exasperated.
Her face turned white as a sheet. "O-oh. Oh, no. Linny, I-I-I'm so sorry. I didn't know."
I took a deep breath to calm myself and leaned against the counter. "He dropped by my place unannounced not too long ago, trying to 'win me back.' It was obvious he wasn't taking 'no' for an answer. Luckily, Teddy was there to help scare him off. I was wondering how the hell he found me."
"Oh, no." Tilly seemed absolutely mortified. She buried her face in her hands. "Linny, I'm so sorry. I-it's just that you don't have too many people up here. When he said he was a friend, I thought it would be a nice surprise for you. I didn't even think that it might be your ex trying to track you down. Oh, I'm so stupid!"
I sighed and gave her a hug. She kept her face buried in her hands. Poor Tilly. Of course, she was trying to do something sweet for me. She had no way of knowing the truth. She'd never even met Greg before. There was no way she could have known what he was like.
But I did. This thought comforted me a little. Alright, Greg was an obsessive jerk, but he wasn't crazy. I doubted he'd try anything that would get him into serious trouble. Especially in the middle of a public restaurant. Besides, if he came back even after Teddy's psycho threats, then he might have had an actual reason for being here. Whatever it was, one thing was certain: he wouldn't leave until I talked to him.
Tilly was still on the verge of tears in my arms. I patted her back gently.
"It's alright, Til. You didn't know," I said soothingly.
"Do you want me to get rid of him?" She said quickly, looking up. "Harry's got a shotgun. That boy will be out of here in ten seconds flat."
"No, no. It's fine," I reassured her. "Teddy scared him pretty good last time, so I doubt he'd try anything too stupid. Let me go see what he wants."
"If he gives you any trouble, just give me the signal. We'll pepper his ass good!"
I smiled at this and patted her hand gently. I took a deep breath and went over to his table. He perked up when he saw me coming. He opened his mouth to talk, but I held up my hand to silence him.
"I've already got a boyfriend ready to skin you alive and a sweet old couple ready to blow your brains out with a shotgun. I hope you have a good reason for being here," I said, crossing my arms.
He sighed. "Linny, will you please just hear me out."
"I'm working, so make it quick."
He stared down at the table and bit his lip. He laced his hands as if deep in thought. Finally, he took a deep breath and looked up at me.
"I love you."
I scoffed. "If that's all you have to say, then I've got better things to do."
I turned to leave but he reached out and grabbed my wrist. I watched Tilly start to panic at the counter as she saw. I waved to her to let her know it was okay. She nodded but continued to watch us with nervous eyes.
"Be careful," I said, yanking my wrist away. "I wasn't kidding about the shotgun."
"Linny, please," he begged again. "I get it. I do. My last attempt to talk to you was... pathetic. There. I admit it. There's really nothing else I can call it.
You were right. I lost my job, I was feeling down on myself, and I didn't want to go back to Ohio as the loser who lost his job and his girlfriend. I went there with selfish motives. I wasn't thinking about you at all. I was only thinking about myself."
I rolled my eyes. "Let me guess. This time is different though. Again."
"I know I've said that too much," he admitted, "but it is. This time, our relationship is going to be all about you. Whatever you want. No more Greg running around and doing whatever the hell he wants. No more servant girl Linny wasting her time on him. It's all about you now.
If you like this job, then keep it. If you want to stay in this small town, then we will. If you want to chain me to the porch like a dog so you know I won't wander off, then do that too. I mean it, Linny."
I gave a dry laugh. "Wow, you almost sound sincere."
"I am sincere," he said desperately. "I mean it this time, Linny. What that psycho boyfriend of yours said really stuck with me. I did treat you however I wanted, I did always assume I could get you back, and someone as pathetic as me doesn't deserve you. He was right about all of it, but I've been thinking a lot since then."
"About?"
"About us. I thought about giving you up. I thought about sucking it up and going back home to Ohio. I thought about running away with my tail between my legs like the coward I usually am. But not this time. I couldn't do it this time." He reached out and grabbed my hand. "That psycho made me realize how much I really love you."
I scoffed and shook my head. He was right about some things. He was a liar, a coward, and a loser. I just doubted any of that had changed. He squeezed my hand gently.
"He did. Because that night, for the first time in my life, you weren't there for me when I needed you. For the first time, you weren't there to catch me when I fell. Figuratively and literally. For the first time, you were gone. Even though you were standing right there, I knew in that moment that you were really and truly gone from my life. And that killed me. Because what that guy really made me realize is just how much you used to love me.
You're the woman who's always stayed by my side. Job, no job. Good times, bad times. Even when I was screwing around like a fool, you still moved here with me. You believed in me enough to give me another chance. No one else has ever believed in me like that. Even I don't believe in myself like that.
And maybe that's my problem. I was too afraid to allow you to love me, too afraid to love you like you deserved, too afraid to be the man that you always knew I could be. But not anymore."
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, velvet box. He set it on the table in front of me. I stared down at it, not making any moves whatsoever to take it. He sighed and opened up the box. A slim, golden ring glinted up at me. A large diamond sparkled in the center.
"I'm serious, Linny. This is the first step I'm taking to prove it to you. In all the time we were together, I made promise after promise to get married, but I never bought you a ring. Yesterday, I went out and got you one. I'm ready to commit to you like you deserve. Like you always deserved. I love you, Linny. Please, will you marry me?"
I glanced down at the ring sparkling in the box. I reached for it slowly. His face lit up as I did. Until I snapped the lid shut and pushed it back towards him.
"I can't tell if you're stupid or just a sociopath," I muttered, shaking my head. "Greg, it's over. This isn't me playing hard to get or hinting that you need to try harder. We're finished. I've moved on. I have a new house, a new job, and a new boyfriend. I have a new life now, my life, and I don't want you in it. I don't want to be with you anymore."
"But I love you!" He cried.
His eyes looked desperate. His hands were shaking. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose.
"No, you don't," I insisted. "You love the idea of me. The idea of having someone who loves you. The idea of having someone who will always stand by you. The idea of having a comfortable place you can always return to. What you have isn't love, Greg. It's dependency."
"Doesn't love mean having somebody you can depend on?" He argued. "Isn't love the comfort of knowing you have someone who will always be there for you, no matter what? In sickness and in health. For better or for worse. Those are the vows you take when you get married. Isn't that dependency too?"
"No, it isn't, and the fact that you can't tell them apart only proves my point." I huffed and glanced at the clock on the wall. "My shift is almost over. I'm leaving now."
"Lin, wait!" He cried. "I love you. I love you. What do I need to do to prove it to you?!"
"Look, Greg, do you really want to start giving me what I want?" I asked, crossing my arms.
He smiled hopefully. "Of course! Anything. Just name it."
"Then leave me alone."
His face went blank with shock. I didn't wait around for him to recover. I walked back towards the counter. Tilly had had her eyes glued on us the entire time. I felt exhausted. I must have looked like it too because she gave me a sympathetic look.
"Oh, Lin..."
"Tilly, is it okay if I take off early?" I almost begged. "I only have half an hour left anyway."
"You get out of here," she said, nodding. "If that boy even thinks about following you, I'll mount his head up here on this wall."
"Thanks, Til," I sighed.
I went to the back to grab my things. I popped into the kitchen briefly to tell Mr. Harrison not to bother making me food today. He just grunted vaguely, but I noticed his eyes wandering outside the service window. I guess Tilly had probably been filling him in on what was happening.
I saw Greg watching me as I went to my car. His face was the same blank expression as when I had left. I hoped that meant he finally understood what was happening. I wasn't sure I'd be able to handle another interaction like that.
I felt absolutely drained while driving home. My only comfort was knowing that Teddy would probably be there already. I wanted to see him more than anyone else in the world right now.
Sure enough, he was chopping wood on the front lawn as I pulled up. He smiled and waved to me like always. That smile disappeared when I got out of the car. He immediately dropped the ax and hurried over to me. He pulled me into a hug.
"Linny, what's wrong? Did something happen?" He asked frantically.
I stayed silent and held him closer. I wanted to tell him what happened. I wanted to scream and cry and tell him everything about this rotten day I'd had. But I couldn't. I was afraid of what might happen if I did.
As much as I wanted to, I couldn't forget that terrifying stranger he'd turned into before. Something about Greg triggered that in Teddy, and I was afraid of what might happen if I brought him up again. Those cold, empty eyes still haunted my memories. Being with Teddy this way helped to keep those thoughts away, but I never really forgot them. I didn't care if it was an act. I didn't care if it was directed at me, or Greg, or anyone else. I never wanted to see that stranger again.
"Just... a difficult customer at work today," I said finally.
"You're sure that's all?" He asked, concerned. "I've never seen you this upset by a customer before. If they did something bad enough to bother you like this, then you should tell your bosses. I'm sure they wouldn't want that person back either."
"I already told them," I reassured him. "I don't think that guy will be back again anytime soon."
"Good, because I consider myself a peaceful man, but I'm not afraid to bust some heads when it comes to protecting my woman," he warned.
"Your woman?" I teased.
"Of course," he said, kissing my forehead. "Who else's woman would you be?"
"Anyway," I said, pushing him away playfully, "since I'm home, are you hungry? I'm sure you've been out here working for too long. Like usual."
"Who? Me? Never," he said innocently. "I just got here a few minutes ago."
I eyed the large pile of wood behind him. He stepped in the way to block my view, whistling casually. I crossed my arms and glared at him a little. He looked away sheepishly.
"That was... already here when I got here. Happens a lot actually. I think you might have a stalker."
"Oh!" I cried as his words jogged my memory. "Speaking of stalkers, I have something for you."
He stared at me curiously as I took off my glove. In all my frustration from dealing with Greg, I'd nearly forgotten what I was so excited about earlier today. I dug around my jacket pocket until I found what I was looking for. Small, hard, and a little cold from the weather. I pulled it out and handed it to him. He looked down at it, confused.
"A key?"
"My key specifically," I explained. "It's a spare. I asked Mrs. Harrison if I could make one for you."
He still seemed very confused by it. I rolled my eyes and grabbed his hand. I placed the key in his palm and closed his fingers around it. He looked shocked.
"You're out here in the cold for God-only-knows how long every day," I muttered, shaking my head. "I've tried and tried, but I can't seem to make you stop. At the very least, I'd like to know you have somewhere safe to go. Somewhere to rest after you've hiked all the way here. Somewhere to warm up when it's below freezing. Somewhere you can make a hot cup of tea and relax. Somewhere you can wait for me without me worrying about you."
"You're... giving me a key to your place?"
I shrugged casually, but I could feel myself blushing. "Well, yeah. I mean-"
He grabbed me suddenly and pulled me into a tight hug. He didn't say anything, just held me for a very long time. After a while, he pulled back enough to kiss me. He looked down at the key in his palm and smiled. His eyes were warm when they looked at me.
"Even on your bad days, you're always taking care of me," he murmured. "You always seem to know exactly what I need."
"Well, right now, I think you need that cup of tea," I said, grabbing his arm. "Come on, I'll make you one."
He didn't say anything. He nodded and let me drag him along to the house. He stared down at the key in his hand the entire time. A man of simple pleasures. I couldn't help smiling. He always seemed to know exactly what I needed too.
The stress from the diner had all but vanished by now. I watched as he rubbed the key with his thumb as if trying to confirm it was real. I couldn't seem to believe it either. Teddy with a key to my house. I was sure it wouldn't be too long before he found an excuse to use it.
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