mitchell
okay so i might have
done something dumb
but i don't wanna tell
my friends that i think i
made a mistake because
then they'll say i told you so
and i really don't want that

rivers
what did you do mitty? you
didn't get anyone pregnant
did you??

mitchell
no!!!! i haven't slept with a girl
recently so no i am not a father
and you are not going to be an
aunt

rivers
sad, but also not really because
i am so not ready and neither are
you

mitchell
yeah i know that

mitchell
and i do know that something
called a condom exists so
we're cool

rivers
so what happened??? and
why can't you tell your friends

mitchell
well you see, i slept with tom
holland

rivers
you didn't

rivers
please tell me that you DID
NOT sleep with a co-worker
while you are still working on
the movie

mitchell
i was drunk and i like him so
my judgement was off so i
did

mitchell
and like my friends kept trying
to push us together even though
i didn't want that and i finally got
them off my back and i know
they'll stop so i can't tell them

rivers
does tom remember??

mitchell
yes!! we talked about it and i said
that we could forget about it and
just go back to being friends and
he was totally on board with it

rivers
so what's the problem

mitchell
i don't think i wanted him
to agree

rivers
what???

mitchell
feelings are hard and weird, okay?

mitchell
like im glad he agreed so it
won't be awkward but i also
kinda wish he said that he
wanted to be more than friends
or something but he didn't
and im disappointed but also
super relieved and ahhhh
feelings are too hard and i wish
i didn't have any at all

rivers
you are such a disaster brother

mitchell
i know!!

mitchell
so can you see why i
couldn't tell any of them??

rivers
yes

rivers
so are you just gonna ignore
everything and suffer

mitchell
i already told tom that i would

mitchell
we agreed that nothing had
to change and we could go
back to friends and there's
no reason to go back on my
word

mitchell
look i'll be okay. im used to
suffering and everything

rivers
that doesn't make me feel
any better

mitchell
i know but i did this
to myself so i have to
suffer through it

mitchell
like im not even sure if i
wanna be with him yet

rivers
im pretty sure you do, why
else would you be disappointed
that he didn't say that he liked
you back??

mitchell
AHHHH i can't deal with this

mitchell
i wish everything was simple

rivers
that isn't how life works

mitchell
sadly yeah

rivers
look you'll be fine. if you
don't wanna tell him, don't.
but if you do tell him be
sure. don't string him along
while you decide your
feelings, okay?

mitchell
okay yeah

rivers
good. i don't wanna see the
poor boy get hurt because of
your indecisiveness

mitchell
i won't hurt him

rivers
but what if you already did?