I feel like I'm drowning and hanging by a thread at the same time. Confusion exists in my realms:emotional, physical,  and physiological. I should hate and run; but I love and stay. The love is confusing and blinding. Sensibly and wisdom is outweighed by love and unknown fears. My life revolves around what they think. Why make a decision, the critics change my mind;they tell me what to do. My dreams have vaporized, I will never be the same. What is it to dream? I do not remember. None of my teenage dreams were attained or even close to. If I dream it's a fantasy, unattainable, and untouchable. I shall never reach them. Why keep living, why breathe? I'm drowning and none can help. I don't let anyone in, it's dangerous and painful. I must survive or fail on my own.
Alas!