In the end we only regret the chances we didn't take.

--Tiffany Williams 

Aanvi Zenobia 

I winced in pain accidentally hitting the cask that was on my hand on the dresser, I sighed still not used to this. I fractured my knuckles and sprained my wrist fighting and now I was paying the price. I got up seeing Becky in the living room quickly taking pills, she looked back at me and stood up.

"I'm fine and I don't need your help." I cut her off before she could even say anything. 

"I'm just trying to make sure you're okay." 

"Oh really?" I raised a eyebrow. "I wasn't okay for fifteen years of my life, where were you then?"

"We can't get passed this if all you do is throw the past up."

"I don't want to get passed it! I hate you, what don't you understand?" I raised my voice. "You will never be my mother, stop trying!"

"I'm sorry, I can't change the past and I can't take away all the bruises and pain we both caused you but I'm trying, can't you see that? I'm fucking trying Aanvi!"

"I don't want you to try! You should have been helped me when I needed it, keep that same energy!"

"Zenobia I-" She stopped and held her chest standing still. "I can't-"

"What's wrong with you?" I scrunched my face up. When she fell I unintentionally laughed then went to get my phone calling 911. 

I wasn't stupid, I knew she was having a heart attack, I watched a lot of medical shows. I laid her on her side then going to the cabinet to get a aspirin telling her to chew it, she started chewing until it was gone. She continued holding her chest and blinking slowly with her watery eyes, I sighed wondering when this ambulance was going to hurry up.

I went to the door hearing the siren, I led them in watching as they hooked a oxygen mask to her trying to listen to her heart. Strapping her onto a gurney, I watched until it went to the truck. The lady turned to me with a confused face.

"Aren't you going to come?" She asked still looking confused.

"No, why would I?" I furrowed my eyebrows.

"I thought this was your mother or something, I apologize." I nodded and watched her get in the drivers side. 

The trunk went out of sight, I went back in the kitchen trying to find something to eat. I sighed seeing we had nothing, I looked at the time seeing it was one in the afternoon. I called Zeph phone hearing it go to voicemail, I rolled my eyes calling Sef as it went straight to voicemail. I groaned out loud calling Jace and he answered on the second ring.

"Lady Mitch wassup?" He asked coughing.

"You saw or heard from Zephyr?"

"Yeah, he's right here. Hold on, Mitch!" He yelled. "Lady Mitch looking for you, you in trouble cause she said the whole name."

"Shut up bitch, hey baby." Zeph said as I rolled my eyes.

"Why you not answering the phone?" 

"It's dead, I didn't bring my charger and none of these dumb asses thought to bring theirs."

"Nigga you didn't bring yours either, we equally dumb." Sef coughed laughing.

"You good though? What happened?"

"I'm hungry."

"What you want?"

"Jamaican food." 

"Get dress, I'll be there in like ten minutes."

"Okay."

Just as I hung up, I heard knocking on the door. I didn't even ask who it was when I opened the door because not everybody knew where I lived; it could only be a handful of people. When I opened the door, there stood a pissed-off-looking Lee with Sin, who was just neutral. 

"What's wrong with you?" I asked Lee as she rolled her eyes, looking through the refrigerator getting a water.

"Sef dirty ass not answering the phone, I was hungry and mommy or daddy not home."

"His phone dead, all their phones dead. Zeph coming so we can get Jamaican food, wanna ride?" I asked as she smiled.

"I knew I was right when something told me to walk my pregnant ass over here."

"I still can't get used to that, I thought it would be Nobi pregnant the way her and Zeph have sex." Sin said making us laugh.

"Girl bye, birth control got me."  I smiled going up the stairs to get dress.

I put on a pair of Zeph Nike sweats and his bape hoodie leaving my hair in the bun it was in, I looked at my ringing phone seeing Jace's name, I let it ring knowing he was just going to say they were outside. I grabbed my house keys, charger, and phone turning off my bathroom and room lights.

"Come on, they outside" I said turning off the lights in the kitchen and living room then locking up.

"You did not say they were coming." Jace said as he got out the front seat going to the back.

"And why weren't you answering your phone?" Lee asked Sef as we all piled up in the car, I was grateful he had the range so they could all fit.

"My phone was dead baby." He said pressing the lock button so he could show her.

"So why don't you have your charger?" 

"Because I wasn't thinking."

"You never thinking, what if I went into labor? Then what? I would of had the baby without you even knowing." She said making Zeph stop the car as we all looked at her.

"You just four months yet." Sef furrowed his eyebrows up.

"You so dramatic," I said laughing, Lee kills me. 

"Girls dramatic period but getting them pregnant is worse, my baby's mother made my life a living hell," Jace said shaking his head.

"Shouldn't get hoes pregnant then." Sin shrugged looking down on her phone as she typed.

"Sin." Lee chuckled making her look up.

"Yeah? Oh, I said that out loud?" She looked at us. "Damn, my bad."

I shook my head then zoned them out as we rode to the Jamaican restaurant, when we pulled in I fixed the strings of my hoodie and got out of the car leaving them to talk. I walked in finding a table that can fit all six of us, I took a menu and began looking through it. Zeph sat next to me leaning his head on me shoulder as he yawned. 

"You tired?" I asked never taking my eyes off the menu, he nodded not saying anything. "Wouldn't be so tired if you wasn't outside late hours of the night."

He sat his head up about to say something until they all came to the table, I squinted my eyes daring him to say something I didn't like. Instead he just shook his head and laid it down on the table, the man came waiting to take our orders.

"Are y'all ready to order or do you need a few more minutes?" He asked as his accent went in and out.

"Can mi have Ziggy Marley wings with Callalo? Add a busta too and a side of jackass corn." Sin said as her accent came in and out too.

"What's that?" Lee asked.

"What's what?" Sin asked.

"Everything you just said." She remarked making all of us laugh, even the waiter. 

"Ziggy Marley wings are wings that's marinated in jerk sauce, Callalo is something like collard greens I guess, a busta is a soda and jackass corn is basically like a biscuit made from coconut and sugar."

"Can I have everything she said but with a lemonade instead?" Lee said.

"Can I have jerk chicken with cabbage and mac and cheese instead of the rice? And he'll have curry goat with peas and rice. We both want ginger ale and coco bread." I ordered for Zeph and I.

I leaned back checking my notifications and zoning them out as I watched people snaps, Zeph lifted his head off the table to look at me. I glanced his way and then back to my phone, I laughed at a picture Sin put of me and her when we were younger, I screenshotted then locked my phone putting it down.

"I'm just saying your baby's mother can't beat me." Sin laughed texting somebody.

"So? I'll beat whatever nigga you texting the fuck up."

"Damn." She shook her head and laughed. "You lucky your daughter cute cause I would of violated."

"Sincere," I called her telling her to chill.

"I don't care what comes out my mouth, you should know that." She shrugged. "But I will chill 'cause if somebody talks about my child they will be dead."

"You don't have a child." Sef laughed.

"Not yet because Lee carrying him or her but when she or he, hoping it's a girl, come she will be mine and y'all can visit."

"Issa surrogate." I chimed in making us laugh.

"Yeah aight, my baby is my baby." Sef shook his head.

"You told Niko or Amori yet?" Jace asked.

"Not yet." 

"Thought they would be the first ones." 

"Yeah but his mom doesn't like me so he hasn't told her yet." Lee rolled her eyes.

"My mom does like you and I just haven't told them yet, I wanna do it together."

"Why do you think ma don't like you?" Zeph asked.

"Because when I slapped Amour, she felt a type of way about it."

"Nah, if ma didn't like you she would damn sure make it known." 

"You would know." Sef laughed. "She tortured the fuck out of Redd." 

"She really did." Jace laughed. "Zeph couldn't even ask her for advice cause Mo would shut the shit down as soon as he tried."

"She loves Nobi though, I can't even go over there without one of them saying something about her. If it's not mom or dad, it's Nova." 

"That's cause they could see she the real deal," Jace said, making me smile. "I needa her, you got any friends?" 

"El oh el." Sin chuckled. "What you want a real one for if you ain't even real yourself my nigga?" 

"I'm as real as it comes, you? Not so much. Real recognize real baby girl."

"And that's why I ain't fucking with you 'cause I ain't recognize you."

"Dayummmm!" Sef instigated laughing. "Nah, she got that one."

"Issa L." Zeph said making us laugh.

"You recognize me when my dick down your throat, I was real enough for that though."

"And you ate my ass so does it matter?"

"Waiittttt." I dragged out laughing.

"Bro you ate her ass?" Zeph asked laughing.

"Nah, not Jace." Sef threw his head back laughing.

"His face son, I'm fucking crying." Lee stomped her foot against the floor.

"Ate my ass while eating the pussy at the same time, that boy is a beast." Sin smirked.

"You going for the most." Jace waved her off.

"Jace but you not denying this." Sef said still instigating.

"Stop instigating like you don't eat ass either," I said making him snap his head towards Lee.

"You told them I ate your ass? You said you was gon keep that between us brah." He glared at her as we all busted out laughing.

"Ayooo!" Zeph pulled his chair back and hunched over laughing. "Nah, y'all going out bad."

"I can't believe y'all." I laughed. 

"Yo, I needed that laugh." Sin cleared her throat. "Y'all are hilarious." 

"You a dick rider." Jace said.

"Let me ride your dick." Sin bluntly said making me gasp.

"I am shooketh." Sef said as we all stared at Jace waiting for his response.

"Y'all ain't know that's why she acting up? She want some dick." He laughed.

"Give it to her then." I jumped in.

"No, Imma make her wait."

"I'll just fuck somebody else." She shrugged.

"They won't fuck you like I can."

"They'll still get the job done." 

"Bet you I'll beat both y'all asses."

"As long as you fuck me after you beat my ass, I'll forgive you."

"Ayo." Lee laughed. "It makes no sense how much I hate you."

"I'm just being honest." She laughed as our food came out. 

We thanked the man and we began eating in silence, I ate my macaroni in pure bliss. I think food was my ultimate happiness, it makes no sense how much of a better mood I can be when I get food. I moved closer to Zeph as he leaned his head on my shoulder while I fed him. 

"You okay?" I asked looking down as I fed him some mac and cheese.

"I think I'm getting sick." He said.

"You feel hot as hell, maybe you are."

"They food bomb." Lee said just as I ate some of Zeph's food. "Remember the first day you met Zeph, he said he'll give you curry goat and you were disgusted?" 

"And now she eating that shit ." Sef laughed.

"Y'all an irritating ass couple," I mumbled.

"Becky was at work? I ain't see her when I came in." Sin asked, looking at me. For some reason, Lee and Sin really liked her.

"She in the hospital." 

"Wait, that ambulance we saw before we came was her?" Lee asked.

"Probably was, she had a heart attack," I said eating the cabbage.

"Why are you saying it so nonchalantly like you don't care?" Jace asked.

"I don't." 

"Damn Nobi, you couldn't even go with her to the hospital? A heart attack pretty serious." Lee said

"I don't care." 

"Close your platter we are about to go." Zeph shook his head.

"For what?" I asked,

"Because that's your mother." Jace squinted his eyes in confusion.

"If y'all care so much then y'all can go without me, her name Rebecca Henderson." I rolled my eyes.

"That's coldhearted as hell." 

"I don't care." 

~

"Rebecca Henderson, she came here a little while ago because she had a heart attack," Zeph said talking to the receptionist. 

"Relations to her?" She asked typing on her computer.

"This is her daughter and my mother-in-law." 

"It's room 214. Down that hall, get on the elevator make a left then it'll be there. Here's your visitor pass." 

"Okay thank you." He smiled grabbing my hand and forcefully pulling me in the direction she said.

After eating Zeph dropped everybody off then told me we were going to the hospital whether I wanted to or not, he carried me in here and he kept pulling me even though I didn't want to. I smacked his hand and snatched my hand out of his grip walking by my own.

Just as we walked in the doctor was talking to her as she signed papers, they both looked at the door due to us opening it. She looked kind of shocked and so did the doctor making me roll my eyes, I stood there looking at both.

"Is this the beautiful young lady you're always speaking so highly of?" The doctor asked smiling, I did a tight lip smile thanking her.

"Yes, this is my daughter Zenobia."

"Well Zenobia, can you make sure your mom takes her medicine and stays off her feet if it isn't necessary? If not, she will be in here more frequently than she want to."

"Okay." I said blankly.

"She can go home but she has an appointment in two days, can you make sure she's here since she always seem to miss them?"

"Okay."

"Thank you, you all have a good day." She smiled as I returned it.

"I'll take y'all home, when y'all ready I be in the waiting room." Zeph said kissing my temple then pushing me in the room a little bit more.

I watched as he closed the door then looked at her. "So you sick or something?"

"I have CAD, it's a type of heart disease. I guess it's the karma from all the heavy drugs I did." She sadly laughed then coughed.

"So if you have a disease and you know you have it, why you not doing what you have to?"

"I take my pills and I quit my job, I'm doing as much as I can. Sometimes I just can't make it to the appointments."

"Why?"

"It's far from the house Zenobia, I can't walk there when I'm feeling like my chest closing in."

"Buses exist and if you ask dad to take you, he will. You just want someone to feel sorry for you."

She sighed standing up. "I can't argue with you no more, I can't keep saying sorry anymore and I just can't do anything in your eyes! I made mistakes as a mother-"

"Mistakes as a mother? Giving me food I wasn't suppose to have, not washing me up correctly, wiping me too hard or even accidentally dropping me is a mistake as a mother! Watching a man whoop my ass repeatedly or force me to take drugs or even let his fucking friends touch me inappropriately is not a mistake! You're a fucked up person who wants someone to care because your dying, this is my fucking karma!" 

She wiped her face as she slid her pants on silently crying, the doctor walked in then stopped feeling the tension. She handed her her papers and walked right back out without saying another word, once she was dressed I led her the way we came to see Zeph car waiting at the entrance for us.

"How you doing? I'm Zephyr, Nobi boyfriend." He stated as she buckled her seatbelt.

"I didn't know she had a boyfriend." She smiled making me scoff. "I'm Rebecca but you can just call me Becky."

"Yeah, we've been together for some months now. What? Six months now?" He asked, looking at me.

"Yup." I answered not even interested in their conversation.

"That's nice, is this your car? It's beautiful."

"Yeah, this my baby."

"Oh? What do you do?" 

"I flip houses."

"I watch shows like that, that's interesting. How old are you?"

"I turn 22 on the 14th." 

"Of this month?" She asked and he nodded. "That's Nobi birthday too, that's so cute."

"Surprised you know my birthday." I mumbled making Zeph send me a glare.

"Are you hungry Ms.Henderson? I could stop somewhere real quick."

"It's okay, I can cook something when we get in the house."

"Nah, I could go where ever you want right now."

"You might as well get something while we offering cause you know it's nothing in there to eat." I rolled my eyes.

"Aanvi," Zeph said, glaring at me.

"Just go to Chipotle, she like that." I rolled my eyes.

Pulling up to Chipotle after five minutes or so, Zeph unbuckled his seatbelt and then turned around. "What do you want?"

"Oh it's okay, I'll go in myself." 

"Okay, get whatever you want." Zeph handed her a $20 as she took it then got out the car. "You mean and unnecessary as hell for no reason."

"I don't care, I went to the hospital like you asked. I don't care for that lady and everybody just keep trying to make me."

"Because that's your mother!" He yelled.

"No it's not!" I yelled back.

"You just don't know how you would feel if she-"

"The situation is done with, drop it or I will walk home." I told him sternly.

"Okay." He sighed. 

"Are you staying with me?" 

"Yeah for a little then I'm going out."

Rolling my eyes, I picked my phone up. "Alright."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, everything is peachy."

"Zenobia, for real what?" 

"I mean when are you going to make time for me? Do I have to make an appointment to fit into your schedule Zephyr?" I asked still looking down at my phone.

"What you talking about? I always have time for you princess."

"How Zephyr? This my first time seeing you in almost two weeks, ever since Jace came home you act like you don't fucking know me."

"Zenobia, he spent five years in jail. Sorry if I missed my best friend and trying to spend time with him to make up the time we lost."

"I get that, I understand that but every damn night Zeph? He's been out for a month now, he could understand you wanting to spend a day with your girlfriend. All y'all do is go to clubs or parties and sit in bitches faces, it won't kill you to be away from bitches. I went from seeing you every other day to every other week, the fuck?"

"Are you serious, I just saw you two days ago-"

"Because I came to your house to get some fucking clothes! You was about to leave anyway so I barely saw you."

"If you want me to cancel I will."

"You don't have to, it's all good." I rolled my eyes.

"Zenobia, you-"

"It's cool, we're good." I spoke smiling at something Lee sent in the group chat.

Zeph snatched my phone out of my hand and glared at me. "If I'm talking to you, don't be on your phone, I don't do it to you and that's disrespectful as hell." 

"Give me back my phone."

"No, you have me fucked up. I just told you I'll drop my plans and you still acting like this."

"I shouldn't have to beg my boyfriend to spend time with me anyway, I've been texting you for the past two weeks. "Can I see you today?" "Can you come see me?" Where you at? I wanna come over." Like are you fucking kidding me?" 

"Zenobia, I'm right here so what you yelling for? I said I will drop my plans and come chill with you, I've been a little distracted I'm sorry but I'm-"

"It don't matter, give me my phone. I don't even wanna be in your presence right now."

"Yo, you serious? What's today's date? You on your period?" I snapped my neck towards him with my face turned up.

"So because- You know what, it don't matter. Give me my fucking phone and leave me the fuck alone, I will catch the bus home." I held my hand out waiting for him to give me my phone.

"You doing too much, just sit back and I'll take you home." He waved me off.

I looked out the window annoyed, I was more mad at the fact that I really missed him and he been simply pushing me aside. I really did get what he was saying because I missed a lot of time with Sin but not once have I ever ditched him for her.

"Yeah brah, I'm just dropping Nobi and her mother off, I'll be there in bout ten minutes. Bet." I heard Zeph say making me roll my eyes.

He grabbed my hand from my face and I snatched it back not wanting him to touch me. I hated I wore my emotions on my sleeve and was so sensitive around him, I crossed my arms over my chest and continued looking out the window wishing Becky hurry up.

"Baby? Stop pounting, I don't like that." Zeph said speaking softly. "I apologize, tomorrow I will spend the whole day with you, I'll take you shopping."

"You don't have to do anything," I mumbled.

"You mad at me, that's the best revenge, spending my money."

"Keep your money."

"Aanvi, I am sorry! Can you stop?"

"No."

Just as I said that Becky came back in the car with a chipotle bag, she tried to hand Zeph back his change but he told her to keep it. As he rode back to the house, they sparked up a conversation switching from different topics. I zoned them out because I was in my bag and I didn't like neither one of them.

"I'm going to walk y'all in." Zeph stated as he parked. I grabbed my leftover Jamaican food then walked to the house getting my keys out but Becky beat me to it opening the door. 

"Mitch, are you staying?" She asked.

"No, he has more important things to do." I rolled my eyes before he could answer.

"Nothing is more important than you." He looked at me.

"Ha! Joke of the day." I mumbled going to the kitchen as Becky excused herself.

"Can you stop? I don't want us to leave each other mad, I'll come get you tomorrow."

"Don't bother." 

"Aight cause now you blowing my shit, I said sorry, I'm trying to make it up to you, you being pissy."

"Okay." I stated blankly grabbing a green tea out the refrigerator. 

He walked over to me and kissed my forehead. "I'll still be here tomorrow, I love you princess." 

"Love you too." I stated blankly, he shook his head and placed my phone on the counter.

I walked to my room after hearing the door slam, I turned on the shower water then went back to my room placing my phone on the charger. As I was about to undress Becky knocked on the door peeking her head in.

"Do you want to watch a movie with me?" She asked.

"Sure, Imma take a shower while you pick the movie."

Smiling, she nodded and left out the room. I stripped down and walked into the steamy bathroom wrapping my hair around so it won't get puffy. I stepped in the shower and immediately felt better never wanting to get out.

~

"You nervous?" I asked Becky as we waited in the doctor office.

"No, I'm either getting better or worse but considering I had a heart attack yesterday, I'm most likely getting worse."

"Pray on it." I shrugged.

"Can we go get something to eat after this? My treat."

"How about we order something instead? I just wanna lay down." I yawned.

"Yeah, that's okay." I leaned back pulling my phone out.

I was sitting at Becky doctor appointment with her because she asked and I didn't have anything better to do. I just wished this doctor hurry up, it was going on five in the afternoon and I was so damn tired. Just as I laid my head down, her doctor, Dr.Morris came through the door with a smile on her face.

"Nice to see you again, Zenobia." She smiled shaking my hand.

"Likewise."

"Thank you for making sure she was here." She smiled at me then her face went neutral as she looked at Becky.

"Just be straight up with me, rip the band-aid off." Becky stated rubbing her hands on her pants in nervousness.

"I'm sorry but it seems like your condition have gotten worse overnight, that heart attack put some much distress on your heart and it wore your body out."

"So-so." Becky stopped and cleared her throat. "So what does that mean?"

"It means we have to double up on the prescription and put you on the transplant list, your heart is worn out. You need another one, a new one."

"If I don't get the transplant?" 

"You won't have that much time." Dr.Morris said softly.

Clearing her throat, she stood up and nodded. "Thank you."

As she walked out, I sat there feeling a type of way. I don't know what I felt but it wasn't a good feeling, I didn't know what to say as Dr.Morris handed me her paper for a new prescription. I sighed getting up to chase her, I ordered a uber and waited for it outside as we stood in silence awkwardly. 

"I'm going to take a nap." She softly said as soon as we got in the house, I nodded my head and walked to the kitchen.

I looked through the order menus we had in the kitchen drawer not having an appetite for anything. I went in the cabinet grabbed the grits box and seeing a hundred in it, I took it walking out the door. I sprinted for the bus as I saw it coming down the hill, I luckily made it on time and got on it taking the ten minute ride to the supermarket.

I grabbed a cart and started looking around for stuff we may need in the house, I rolled my eyes at some of the prices of things. Food was so expensive, people with food stamps were so lucky. 

"Nofia!" I heard from behind me and before I could turn around Nova was hugging my legs giggling. 

"Princess Nova." I smiled picking her up as she wrapped her arms around me. "Who you here with? Where-"

"Nova, I told you bout that damn running off. Let somebody kidnap ya ass and Imma whoop ya ass as soon as I get you back." Zeph mom, Amori, glared at her making me laugh.

"I see Nofia." She smiled.

"Okay but don't just run off Nova."

"I sorry."

"Mhm, hey Zenobia." She smiled giving me a hug as I returned it. "You here by yourself?" 

"Yes, Bec- I mean my mom sick."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Her face saddened. "Do you need any-"

"No, I'm okay." I nodded.

"Are you coming to my birthday party? We have jumpy place, cotton candy, paints-"

"She get it baby." Amori cut her off making me laugh.

"I wouldn't miss it for anything babes." I softly pinched her cheek as she smiled.

"Can I stay with you?" She asked making me look up at Amori.

"No, Nova I'm pretty sure Nobi busy and doesn't want to be bothered."

"No, It's fine, I could use the company to be honest but that's only if you want." I shrugged.

"I could leave her forever?" She asked, making me laugh.

"Yes, I want her forever." I smiled.

"How about you meet me in the front when you done and I'll take y'all home then Zeph can drop some clothes off to you later?" She asked.

"Yeah, that's okay." I nodded.

"Come on Nova so you could get all your snacks." She said and Nova smiled and walked off with her.

I continued shopping for everything we needed, calculating everything in my head I was sure it was enough. I went to the register watching as the lady rung everything up, giving me my total I handed her the crisp hundred bill after getting my bags I called Amori to see where was she and Nova. I waited almost fifteen minutes before they were actually done with everything, I put my bags in the back while she put hers in the trunk so we wouldn't get them confused with each other stuff.

Dropping Nova and I off, I put the food up while she watched Doc McStuffins on the t.v in the living room, I unblocked Zeph number seeing as though he have to bring Nova some clothes. I put out all the ingredients for the food I was going to cook. I got out a big bowl filling it up with water and vinegar. I sat the chicken in the water letting it soak as I grabbed the pizza dough from the package. 

"Nova, can you answer my phone?!" I yelled hearing it ring.

"Okay, hello this Nova." She greeted whoever was on the phone making me smile. "Can I open door? Boobie outside."

"Yeah." I said following her to make sure it was Zeph outside, seeing him get out the car with a bag as she ran to him. I went back in the kitchen putting flour on the counter so I can stretch the dough out, this was about to be a struggle since I only got one good hand.

"Wassup?" Zeph asked coming in the kitchen holding Nova as she held both of our phones in her hand.

"Hey." I said dryly not even looking up.

"Nova, go watch t.v while I talk to Nobi please." 

"Okay." She skipped in the living room.

"Why you block my number?" He asked looking at me.

"I told you we weren't cool and you gon take me shopping like that was suppose to make me everything better."

"You still took the shopping trip though." He looked at me like I was stupid.

"I needed new clothes, what kind of stupid would I be to pass that up?" I laughed.

"I miss you baby, can you stop?" He asked coming closer to me.

"I'm not doing anything." I stated rolling the dough flat with the rolling pin.

"I don't like when we beefing, what do I have to do?"

"Nothing, I'm not mad, we just not cool."

"Huh boy, I just miss you can I-"

"No." I laughed.

He walked to me hugging me despite me being covered in flour, I laughed as he picked me up spinning me. I yelled for him to stop but he wouldn't making me laugh harder he kissed all over my face all while keeping this big ass smile on his face. I rolled my eyes knowing I was about to give in and we weren't about to have beef no more.

"Alright Zeph, we good." I laughed getting dizzy.

"I didn't know that was gon work, glad it did. Got flour all over me and shit." He laughed dusting it off.

I rolled my eyes going to wash my hand so I can start the chicken, I washed them off then sat them in a clean bowl patting them down with a napkin. I seasoned them then sat there debating what I wanted to do.

"Should I bake them or fry them?"

"You making regular chicken or hot wings?"

"Hot wings." 

"Bake em."

"Yeah, that's why I was thinking." I nodded starting to make the hot wing sauce.

"How was her appointment? You went with her right?" 

"Yeah, they said she need a heart transplant or she's going to die." I said focused on my sauce.

"How you feeling bout that?"

"I don't know." I answered honestly. "I mean these past three days been okay with her but I don't forgive her for the past, I just can't find it in me to forgive her."

"But you giving it a chance so you obviously want to No, if you forgive her it would be so much better on her, you and your heart."

"Yeah maybe." I shrugged. "I know I can forgive her though because when they told her the news her face did something to my heart."

"Stop trying to fight it, you can't change the past baby. She didn't handle it the best way she could of but you're still here and she's trying to make everything better."

"Yeah." I nodded. "Maybe one day."

"I gotta get out of here though baby, my dad wanna have a damn men day with all of us. His old ass just lonely cause mom going out with her sorority sisters."

"Leave Niko alone." I laughed. 

"I'm unblocked right?" He asked.

"Yeah, we back cool." I laughed.

"Okay, lemme go say bye to Nova real quick." 

I nodded washing my hands as I sat the hot wings in the oven, I went to my room to go get my Bluetooth speaker so I can listen to music. As I was about to walk out my room Zeph walked in, he locked the door and smirked making me raise a eyebrow. He picked me up making me squeal as I wrapped my hands around his neck. He laid me down kissing me passionately showing how much he missed me making me smile since I missed him too.

He slid my pants off and slid my panties to the side, before I could even protest his mouth was already on my vagina. I grabbed his head on instinct and grinded against his face trying to keep my moans in since Becky was sleep down the hall. Zeph showed no mercy as I pushed his head away trying to stop this intense ass orgasm, not stopping the moans I let them out freely. Once I came in his mouth, he moved and sat up smiling. He kissed me and I grinded against him wanting the real deal nut he shook his head.

"No." He shook his head making me pout. "They already blowing my phone up, I got you tomorrow baby."

I rolled my eyes standing up putting on some Victoria secret cheeky shorts, I walked him to the door after he brushed his teeth. Kissing him I watched him get in the car and take off down the street, I walked in the living room seeing Nova knocked out with her Olaf in her hand making me smile and take a picture. Hooking up my phone to the speaker I went to Apple music going to my song list choosing a song then went back to making my pizza.

"Today's so hard, so much stress. Life won't let up, boy just rest. Lay down and let me cover you in all these kisses." I sung loudly along to Tammy Rivera.

I put my pizza in the oven along with the wings and set a timer. To kill time, I cleaned up everything I messed up. As soon as I finished, Becky walked in the kitchen, getting a water out the fridge, I looked at her take her pills then sit down at the table.

"What's in the oven?" She asked.

"Pizza and hot wings." I spoke making her smile.

"That was our safe haven." She smiled. "Whenever something bad happen we would make pizza and hot wings with a side of green tea."

"It was like the pizza healed us for a short period of time until reality kicked back in." I slightly smiled.

"Everything was perfect when it was just us two."

"I think I'm ready to forgive you." I spoke the words I been wanting to. "I just don't know how to."

"I want nothing more in the world for you to forgive me and I can have my daughter back but if you aren't ready, don't push yourself, I would rather you forgive me on your own terms so you can get all the animosity out."

"Why did you let him do that to me?" I asked, fighting back the tears. "How could you sit there and let him hit me repeatedly without saying anything? How can you send Jah to jail but not him? How can you put him above your only daughter?"

"Hakeem wasn't right in the head; he was a sociopath, and the cocaine and heroine made him ten times worse. You think you were the only one getting beat? Do you think I wanted to do all the damn drugs while I was pregnant? I tried to leave countless times; I went to the police, I tried everything. He would threaten to kill both of us; he was cool with the police officers, everything I tried, he was always ahead by ten steps."

"He hit you?" I asked, not knowing that.

"Probably more than you, right after he come beat you, I was next. He would force me to do drugs, rape me, and let his friends do shit to me, and he was just an evil ass person. I sent you off with your grand-mom because I was going to kill him, but he caught me in action; he beat me until I wasn't recognizable. Every night was worse than the night before because now I was taking the beatings for two people."

"I didn't know that."

"I know I failed you as a mom, but I tried Aanvi; I tried everything. I tried to send you with Jah, but he sent his police friends to report you kidnapped, I tried with your grandmother, but sadly cancer failed us, the last option was sending him to jail, and I succeeded that one. I would of rather you hated me with all your guts than for that man to keep beating on you every day."

"I'm so sorry that we've both been through this." She came to me, wiping my tears while I wiped hers, she leaned in for a hug, and I embraced her. It was a feeling I had never felt before; I hadn't hugged her since I was five. More than ten years later, we couldn't stop this hug as we both felt each other pain.

My timer went off, making me pull away from her, I checked on the hot wings making sure they were done before I pulled them out of the oven. The pizza took ten more minutes, but when that was done, I woke Nova up so she could eat. My mom, Nova, and I sat in the living room watching Encanto while eating our food and occasionally starting a conversation.

I hoped everything stayed like this for a while, but you never know. With me, it was like I was destined for bad luck.
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