Chapter 26: Falling Or Fallen?

            I had a vague recollection of when my dad came home last night. It must have been late into the night or early morning because I was fast asleep before the sound of his heavy footsteps up the stairs and pass my door shook me semi awake. It only lasted a second. A quick “oh, dad must be home” before sleep engulfed me in a dream.

            I dreamt of Tyler.

            It’d been a long time since I last dreamt of him, and it would be fair to say I never dream of him anymore. Only in my nightmares does he appear so it was never a pleasant experience.

            It was the same as always. Blood. Lots of it. So much that the dirt on the ground became damp and stained a reddish purple. There was a hand and it struggled outward and reached for a blurry figure. The fingers were weak but determined and crawled on the ground, the nails digging into the dirt, moving like a spider with broken legs. My vision of it was always foggy. Was that hand mine? Was that figure standing there really Tyler? I wasn’t sure – my eyes could only make out an undistinguished blob – but my heart knew it was. It was undeniably Tyler.

            Sometimes I can’t be sure if it was only a dream or that it was just a faded memory of the past. I knew what happened. My dad told me what happened. Some of the nurses whispered what happened when they thought I was asleep. But what exactly happened at that moment, my dreams were as close as it got. 

            When I finished getting ready in the morning and came down to the kitchen, my dad was already having breakfast and reading through a book manuscript at the table. He looked up when I entered and after giving me a once over, frowned. “What happened? What’s wrong with your– ”

            I cut him off before he could finish asking the question. “I bumped into a guy in the hallway and he was carrying some kind of project – probably from the metal-shop class – anyways, it hit me right in the face and cut me.”

            My dad’s eyes narrowed, and for a second I thought he wasn’t going to buy my story before he started cursing the ‘boy that hit me’ for almost destroying his baby’s face. It was a fortunate thing that the bruises were all on my body, which I easily hid with jeans and a long sleeve shirt. There was a bump on the side of my head, but it wasn’t visible with my hair down, so the only distinguishable wound was the small cut on my cheek. I don’t think my dad would settle for an angry ramble at the dining table if he knew the truth and the last thing I wanted was for him to make a ruckus.

            “Speaking of which,” I said, sitting down with my usual box of mixed greens. “What happened to you yesterday? I thought you were staying there until the morning to grab the car?”

            “I was until I realized how much a night at a hotel there cost. Jeez Louise! Talk about highway robbery! Taking a cab back was cheaper so I did that instead.”

            “Dad…”

            “Yes baby girl?”

            “You do realize you have to pay for cab fare back since you can’t just abandon the car there. And even if the cab fare’s cheaper than the hotel, I doubt it’s that much cheaper, which means you spent a lot more money than you should have.”

            “I can just take your car.”

            “I don’t have my car.”

            My dad turned to me with an alarmed expression right away. “What do mean?! Where’s your car?!”

            “At school.” And since I couldn’t explain to him what happened yesterday, I added, “I dropped my keys somewhere so I left my car in the parking lot and walked home yesterday. It’s probably in the lost and found by now. Don’t worry, I’ll find it.”

            “Alright, then I’ll just go with you and– ”

            “It won’t work,” I said. “Even if you did take my car, what are you going to do after you get yours out of the pound? You can’t drive two cars back at once. I’d go with you but I’ve got school and then rehearsals so I won’t be able to help you until the weekend.”

            “Oh my god!!!!” And with one hand tugging at his hair on each side, my dad stood up and screamed. “But I need my car before then! Why are there so many plot holes?!!!!”

            “You’re really not all that bright are you,” I mumbled. “Thank God, I didn’t turn out like you.” But that baby he's going to have with Diana might turn out to be a real disaster.

Sighing, my dad turned back to his cereal. “If neither of us have our cars,” he mused. “How are you going to school today?”

            I shrugged. “I don’t know. I can always walk, it’s fine.”

            “But you’ll be late if you start walking now.” And that was when my dad had another one of his brilliant – and by brilliant I mean brilliantly stupid – ideas. “I know! I can call Diana up! She would love to take you!”

            “No!!!!” I screamed. “I can’t believe you would even suggest that!”

            “Oh come on,” he grumbled. “She’s going to be at the same place anyways.”

            “She’s probably already at school!”

            “She can just drop by. It’s not like after she takes you to school, she’ll have to make a round elsewhere.” He took out his cellphone.

            “No, dad! Please! Don’t do it!”

            And the next thing I knew, I was sitting in the passenger seat in Diana Hoskins’ ghetto minivan. I didn’t even know why she had a minivan! It was as if she was preparing to be a school mom all her life, but no sucker wanted to take her up on it. Until now. Until my dad.

            “Well isn’t this nice?” She chattered as she pulled out of my driveway after blowing numerous kisses at my dad. “Just us girls!”

            “No comment,” I said.

            “So I was thinking Camila, this weekend, how about we go out huh? Just us girls. For some bonding time.”

            “Or we can not,” I muttered.

            “Oh it could be fun!” She exclaimed. “In all honesty Camila, there’s actually a reason I wanted you to go specifically. As you know, your dad and I are trying to rush this wedding so I can walk down the aisle without my stomach being too noticeable. We talked about it and we both would really like you to be a bridesmaid. So what do you think? If you go to browse the dress shops with me this weekend, I think that would be a lot of fun. And it would mean a lot.”

            “Blah blah,” I said. “Whatever.” It wasn’t that I had suddenly grown soft against Diana the vamp, but my head was starting to hurt and I didn’t want her to get suspicious of me. I didn’t want anyone to find out what happened yesterday. Turning away and closing my eyes, I stayed silent the rest of the ride to school.

            When I arrived at my locker, Marriah was standing in front of it waiting for me. “You actually came?” She groaned. “I was hoping you wouldn’t after yesterday. Are you actually okay?”

            “Do you have security cameras set up all around school?” I asked. “How did you even find out?”

            She didn’t answer me though I knew she was only here out of concern for me. Maybe in her eyes, I should have stayed home today, but that wasn’t a Camila thing to do. The only thing worse than being beaten up by your enemy is to show your enemy that you can’t get back up. So I had to come to school today. No matter what I had to show Brooklynn that I was okay, that she hadn’t beaten my face to the ground yet.

“She went to far,” Marriah groaned. “Yesterday… and three years ago.”

            I heaved a low sigh. What happened three years ago was an accident. Even I knew that much. Not that it lessened Brooklynn’s sin any less, but it was still an accident. Yesterday… yesterday was different. It was intentional.

            “Do you know why Brooklynn singles me out every time?” Opening my locker, I casted a glance in Marriah’s direction. I was curious. “How far back does your information go?”

            I watched that gloomy expression Marriah always wore on her face disappear as she closed her eyes and pressed her back against the locker beside mine. Her fingernails, wearing chipped, black nail polish, elegantly tugged at the hem of her frilly, black-laced skirt. “Isn’t that because there was a time… when Brooklynn saved Tyler’s life? He would have died, but she saved his life didn’t she?” Slowly, her long eyelashes raised and revealed her dark, emotionless gaze underneath. “Using her own life.”

            Ah. So she knew.

            “I guess she made the ultimate sacrifice,” I murmured, watching the students flood through the halls as the first bell neared. “And I didn’t. Even though I was right there that day.”

            Marriah walked ahead of me as I slammed my locker shut and we both started our way to Art. “It’s interesting,” she said. “Watching the three of you fight, and hurt, and love one another. It’s like a soap opera.”

            I didn’t reply, but when she suddenly stopped in front of me, my feet automatically stopped in place. My eyes glanced up and stared at Marriah’s dark purple streaks intertwining with her naturally dark hair in soft princess curls that fell down her back. “Everyday my blackened heart beats faster, and faster, just thinking about it,” she groaned. “The curiosity is killing me. What’s going to happen? What do you think will happen after you drag the Creature of Light into the eternal darkness that the three of you have created?”

            Marriah cackled and turned around to face me and only then did I catch a glimpse of Marshall laughing with his friends just slightly ahead of her. “Everyday I keep asking myself which one of you is going to come out of this alive. I can feel it. Something is changing. Which one of you is going to get hurt in the end? Or will none of you survive?”

            “I don’t get… what you’re trying to say to me.”

            “There’s no antagonist,” she said. “In this fairytale.”

             I couldn’t understand a single thing Marriah was trying to convey to me. She was trying to give me a hint, but I had my doubts that any normal person would be able to grasp it. It was as if she was speaking in hieroglyphics, but that was just the way she was.

            Shifting my gaze back to Marshall, I caught him glancing at me at that exact moment. With his eyes focused on me, he only placed a hand on his buddy’s shoulder before leaving his group and starting his way toward me.  

            Oh God! He was coming.

            I panicked.

            Before I knew it, my body had already made an 180-degree turn. I could hear Marriah’s crackly voice calling after me. “Where are you going? We have Art.”

            “I know,” I shouted, my legs walking away as fast as they could. “I’m taking the long way.”

            For the rest of the day, I kept running unnecessarily into Marshall. First I ran into him when I went to the bathroom during second period. He was grabbing a bite to eat at the vending machine and when he saw me, he lifted his hand up in the air to wave. “Hey Cami– ”

            I turned around and ran.

            Then I bumped into him during break. “Hey what’s u– ”

            I turned around and ran.

            I also saw him during the beginning of lunch. “Camiiiiiiiiii– ” I turned around and ran. “Laaaaaaaaaaa!!!”

            He chased after me, but I lost him in a crowd of 9th graders visiting from the nearby middle school to check out what our high school was like.

            I even ran into him when my Calculus teacher sent me on an errand to photocopy 5 more worksheets during last period. I finished the photocopies and was heading back to class just to witness Marshall drinking water out of the water fountain. He saw me as soon as he stood up to wipe the water off his chin with his sleeve. “Cami– ”

            I turned around and ran. People aren't meant to be that good-looking with water drooling down their face.

            He chased after me.

            “Why! Are! You! Running away from meeeeee?!!!!” He cried.

            “I’m! Notttttttttttttt!!!” I shouted back, running away as fast as I could.

            I eventually managed to lose him, hiding inside of the janitor’s closet. I waited a few minutes, to catch my breath, and until my animal instincts felt safe before I took a peek outside. My heart nearly jumped out of my chest when I found Todd standing outside. “Todd! What are you doing here?!”

            “Why are you avoiding Marshall?” He shot back.

            “I’m not,” I snapped. I quickly glanced down the hallway and made sure the coast was clear before completely stepping out.

            “Don’t worry. When he was chasing you, I saw you run inside the closet and told him you ran down that way.” Todd pointed to the staircase around the corner and I breathed in a sigh of relief knowing that I had such a smart alliance.

            “Thanks.”

            Todd frowned at me. “So why… are you running away from him again?”

            Why did I run away from him? Even I didn't know why I was acting this way.

            I sighed. “Do I have to say it?” I knew without Todd having to answer that he expected at least this much from me. “It’s like this. Yesterday… I guess yesterday I showed a side of myself to him that I now regret. Now whenever I see him, my stomach feels weird. I’m not… handling this really well am I?”

            “No kidding,” he grumbled. “Wait. What? What do you mean by showing him a side of you… Wait. What did you show him?!”

            I heaved a sigh. “Nothing.”

            His eyes widened. “You didn’t… You didn’t show him your private parts did you?!”

            “What?! No!!!” I started to laugh without realizing it as Todd nagged me about protecting myself and not to let Marshall seduce me into bed.

            It hadn’t occurred to me until then that laughing seemed to come to me a lot easier than it did before. It was just so natural now – to laugh. If something amused me, if I thought something was funny, it just came out – the sound of my laughter.

            “Why are you out of class so early anyways?” I asked when I finally needed to distract Todd from his venting.

            “I had a test last block so we were free to go as soon as we handed our test papers in. School should be over soon. There’s probably only five minutes left.” Just as he said that, the last bell rang and Todd made an angry grunt. “Ugh! Brilliant,” he groaned.

            “Oh crap.” The worksheets I had photocopied and was supposed to bring back were now crumpled against my chest. “I gotta go. I’ll see you later Todd.”

            I wished that was the end of the day, but unfortunately, it was a Tuesday and Tuesdays after school meant play rehearsal for the graduation trip fundraiser. Since I didn’t have classes with Brooklynn or Tyler today, the only reason I came was because of the play.

            I had to show her that she couldn’t beat me down.

            Marriah was already waiting inside, reading her script over when I arrived. The room was filled with noises. Since they had decided that the play would take place at lunch this Friday – to avoid clashing with events set up by other classes – today was going to be a serious run through and everyone was trying to memorize their lines last minute before practice started.

            Posters and banners advertising the event had already been plastered all across campus, and from the sound of people talking about it in the hallways, a lot of people intended to show up. I was, of course, only a tree so I sat down quietly beside Marriah so she could recite her lines in peace.

            When Tyler and Brooklynn came in, the first thing Brooklynn did was glance through the room for me. When her eyes found me, they narrowed, and without letting a single emotion caress her face, trudged to the front of the class. Tyler gazed at me a bit longer. Rather than looking at me in general, his eyes seemed to be checking on signs of damage on my body and after deciding that I must have not been hurt too badly if I was sitting here, stalked after Brooklynn.

            It never changes for Tyler. He’d rather bite himself than hurt Brooklynn. If Brooklynn was bounded to Tyler by some sort of sick obsession, Tyler was bounded to Brooklynn by some sort of never-ending guilt. I remembered what Marriah mentioned earlier that morning and wondered if we were really that interesting to watch – the three of us.

            I think we must be laughable. To the outside world.

            After the rehearsal, I left first while Marriah discussed the last minute changes she wanted done on her old hag costume before the final rehearsal on Thursday.

            I was exhausted. I had been running around all day and my body ached a bit more than I’d like to admit. I could feel another headache coming on and leaned against the columns of lockers for support. I was only a couple meters away from my locker so I let eyes rest for a moment. When I opened them again, I was surprised to find that the pain hadn’t lessened.

            Everything in my sight doubled, and started to swirl. I felt weak. My sight disappeared and I could feel myself swaying.

            Crap. I was falling.

            I was falling.

            “Camila.”

            The last thing I remembered was hoping that it was Marshall, and then quickly, hoping that it wasn’t.