Chapter 20: Hide Or Seek?

            The first thing I did when I got home was walk inside to make sure the coast was clear. The note I had taped by the front door for my dad was missing, the house quiet, and after tiptoeing upstairs and checking to make sure his bedroom lights were off, I went back outside to grab Marshall.

            Despite what anyone in my situation might have thought, I was actually extremely confident about carrying him inside the house. At first. I mean, he was probably twice my size if I really thought it over, but I wasn’t like the average girl. I prided myself on my many strengths and abilities, and technically, if I could beat Marshall up a hundred times over in a fight, carrying him inside the house shouldn’t be a problem. Unfortunately, logic was totally against me on that one.

            Almost as soon as I hauled Marshall on my back and lifted off, my knees gave out and I almost collapsed with him on top of me. He didn’t even look that heavy, but there I was, losing the battle, anger fuelling inside of me reminding me once more I should have just stayed home when he first called me that night. Grunting, I steadied my own weight and started the way toward the front door, Marshall’s feet dragging on the front lawn. Unfortunately, each step I took didn’t seem to bring me closer to my destination, and Marshall’s head was like a gigantic bowling ball sitting on top of my shoulder.

            Quarter way to the door, I just stopped. “Why do I even bother?” I mumbled, not to anyone in particular. “I should just drop you on the ground Marshall, and then drag you by the foot.”

            Suddenly, and I was so surprised by it that my eyes widened in alarm, Marshall became lighter.

            At first, I was so taken that I quickly brushed it off and deemed it unreasonable. I mean, people didn’t just drop twenty pounds from out of nowhere, but as hard as it was for my brain to comprehend, I knew I wasn’t hallucinating. Marshall had become lighter. He had definitely become lighter!

            My brain instantly overflowed with ideas and I was desperate to try my top hypothesis, mostly because my head still refused to believe what had happened. What it came down to was only two possible reasons. One: I was legally insane. And two: Marshall was faking it… this whole time.

            “You’re still way too heavy,” I moaned to him, my voice haughty, but frail. I was a damsel, I convinced myself, Cinderella wishing her way to the ball. “It’d be so much nicer if you were just a bit lighter…”

            Nothing.

            I frowned. Was I wrong? No! I couldn’t be wrong. I just couldn’t.

            I started moving my feet again, determined to crack Marshall out of whatever sick, twisted game he was playing. “It might be better if I threw you on the ground,” I said, partially acting this time and partially actually meaning it. “Then, I’ll kick… I mean I’ll roll you to the door.”

            Nothing.

            Was I actually going insane? Was I really just overthinking it this whole time?

            I continued walking, but a stupid rock on the lawn suddenly jabbed my foot against the bottom of my flip-flop and I let out a cry. “Ow!!”

            Marshall’s body instantly tensed, and I could almost feel the weight of his body peeling off me. My eyes made an immediate dart downward and it suddenly made sense why his body had been getting lighter. Whereas his feet were completely dragging when I first pulled him out of my car, they were now planted solidly on the ground, supporting part of his weight so it wouldn’t burden or put me in pain. On one hand, bravo for being so concerned about my wellbeing. On the other, that dipshit lied to me!!!

            Grabbing his arm, I bent over and pulled with all my might, flipping Marshall onto the ground in two seconds flat. “I’m sorry!!!” He cried as he flew in the air, but the wind was pretty much knocked out of him the moment he hit the ground. “Owwww…”

            “What the hell were you doing pretending to be asleep?” I hissed, glaring down at him with my arms crossed. Marshall flashed me a weak smile as he rubbed the back of his head, his eyes avoiding my gaze for the most part as he sat up. “Were you faking it this whole time? From Jeremy’s house to here?”

            A long sigh of exasperation exited his mouth, but his gaze and his mouth remained consistent in their lack of objection. His hands kept themselves busy as they picked at the grass on my lawn, but it annoyed me to no extent how he couldn’t even bother with an excuse of some kind. “Well?!” I demanded. “Are you going to say something?”

            What glanced up at me was an expression of childish remorse, a sulky lower lip with big, wet puppy eyes that begged for forgiveness. “Are you just going to stand there and be angry at me all night?” He murmured. “Because if you are, I’d rather we skip that whole yelling bit and go right to the part where we hug and make up.”

            I literally hissed at him like a wild animal, the hairs on my back raising like a cat’s. “Are you kidding me?” I snapped, holding back the last shred of my sanity not to break his neck. “I’m not your babysitter Marshall! Don’t you think I’ve got better things to do than take care of you? Come on. Get up! I’m taking you home right now and that’s going to be the end of it.”

            At my command, Marshall staggered up on his feet, and though he was pretty sober in terms of thought process, one look at his clumsy body movements and I was convinced otherwise. “Can’t we just stay?” He chided. “I don’t want to go home.”

            “Well I want to go,” I shouted. “And I want to sleep so stop acting like a brat and go already. What’s so bad about going home? You get your own pillow, your own blanket and own bed! I can’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t want to go.”

            “Because you have no idea what waits for me there,” he shouted, and I think, it might have been the first time I saw Marshall in such a destructive light. Anger devoured his face and so much sadness bled out of his eyes that it choked the breath out of me and made my heart cringe. “You think that every home is the same! Well it’s not! The word home doesn’t carry the same meaning as it does for everyone! What waits for me back there isn’t pillows or blankets or beds... It’s just… It’s all…” He stopped, lowered his head and tugged at his hair as if he was trying to hide the pain in his eyes. “It’s just darkness.”

            I couldn’t bring myself to speak at that point. Darkness. Maybe it was the word. Maybe it was the fact that he had a way of making me feel things that I didn’t normally feel, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything to him. Of course, that didn’t mean I didn’t try. And I did. I tried. I forced my mouth open several times, but each time, the voice that cut into the dimly lit up street was extinguished by the night. I felt it though, the intensity of his feelings suffocating everything it touched. At that moment, the Marshall that I knew was so far away I had doubts whether he’d ever come back. It wasn’t the kind of thing that I was used to, and it wasn’t the kind of thing that I wanted to get used to.

            My mind was completely paralyzed by the situation, which was probably why I did it before I realized what I was doing. It wasn’t the kind of thing I would have done if I had time to process it – maybe the Camila from a few years ago, but definitely not the one now – so it surprised me just as much as it surprised Marshall when I stepped up to him, slipped my arms around his waist, and then held him against me.

            I have to admit it was actually extremely weird. I couldn’t remember the last time I did this since forever, and between Jeremy’s unexpected slobbery kiss, this made me a lot more uncomfortable. It was such a useless gesture, and though it didn’t make me feel anything in particular besides awkwardness, I still did it with another hope in mind. 

            “I don’t know what I’m doing,” I openly admitted. “I’m not even sure if I’m doing this right.”

            Marshall’s body was as stiff as a stone and if it weren’t for the fact that my head was resting against his chest and could hear the loud hammering that had become his heart, I would have easily assumed he had turned into a statue for real. “Do– Doing what?” He stuttered.

            “Hugging,” I said. “This is what people call hugging right? I see people doing it sometimes. When they’re happy – my dad always tries to do it. But also, when they’re sad. People always do it when somebody else is sad. I think it’s stupid, but apparently it makes other people feel… better.”

            I looked up at him and Marshall responded by nearly jumping out of his own skin, his eyes darting left and right, wild and confused. “Well, does it?” I asked, impatiently.

            “D- D- Does what?!” He shrieked, his cheeks coloring.

            “Does it make you feel better!” I hissed, angry at how stupid he was even though I was going through all this wasted effort.

            He bit his lip and looked away. “Uh… I don’t know. Why don’t you come closer?”

            I had to roll my eyes at his obvious insanity. What was he? Blind? We were skin to skin! Well… skin to shirt. “Are you out of your mind?” I barked. “How is it possible for me to get any closer when we’re already– ”

            Marshall grabbed me then and squeezed me tightly inside his arms, knocking the rest of the words off my sentence. I felt like the meat inside a sandwich, unable to escape and about to be devoured. He didn’t really say anything, just held me while he laid his head against mine, and out of complete boredom, I started to count, wondering how long it was going to take.  

            “Camila?” He murmured after a moment.

            “Yeah?”

            “Are you counting?”

            “What?” Crap. “Was I doing that out loud?”

            “No. Just the last bit there…”

            “Oh.”

            A soft chuckle echoed beside my ear before Marshall released me and pulled away. He smiled at me like he would normally, except maybe a bit gentler, and I smiled back sheepishly in return. Well it was stupid and I still stand by that, but for some reasons, it worked and he looked like he was feeling a lot better.

            I turned to leave at once, only turning back to glance over my shoulder after I walked through the front door. Marshall was still standing where I left him and I could tell he was starting to feel anxious again so I spoke up, being careful with the level of my voice so that I wouldn’t wake my dad. “Well,” I pressed. “Are you coming? I’m closing the door in five seconds and if you don’t make it, that’s not my problem.”

            Suddenly, it was like Marshall was a five year old that I just promised I’d take to Disneyland, and as soon as the words slipped out of my mouth, this incomprehensible grin swallowed up his face. “Are you asking me to stay?” He asked.

            “Not really,” I replied, flicking my hair behind my shoulder. “But you can if you want.”

            The answer was apparently good enough, and Marshall quickly stumbled over, tripping over the bottom frame of the door when he made his way through the entrance. I had to grab him and stop him from falling the rest of the way, and after I steadied him, I warned him to be quiet because there would be nothing I could do if my dad found him before morning.

            “Don’t worry, I will.” He promised. “I didn’t drink that much and I’m starting to burn out anyways.”

            I wrinkled my nose at him since his terms were unfamiliar to me, but then led him to my room after I locked the front door. Initially, I was just going to throw him on the couch downstairs, but then I remembered my dad sometimes got up in the middle of the night for water and snacks, and god forbid tonight would be one of those nights.

            Marshall must have figured I’d throw him somewhere too so when I brought him up to my room instead, he was naturally ecstatic. “Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever been in your room before. Everything is so tidy and cute.”

            “Shh…” I hissed. “My dad’s room is just at the end of the hall.”

            He smirked at me, took a quick look around once more and then yawned vociferously before taking off his pants. “Bed,” he said, and then dove under the covers on my bed. My mouth widened in protest. I couldn’t believe he was claiming territory so soon after being inside and I angrily grabbed his leg and pulled. “What are you doing?” He whimpered. “I’m so tired!”

            “Me too!” I cried. “I’ve been exhausted the entire night if you haven’t noticed and I refuse to give you my bed after I finally got to it!”

            “We can share!”

            “I don’t want to share! I hate sharing! What’s mine is mine!”

            I think I might have subconsciously heard the footsteps and the light switch flick on before I heard my dad’s muffled voice from down the hall. “Camila? Are you home?”

            My body quickly shifted into Fight or Flight mode while Marshall jumped out of bed, his jaw hanging uselessly wide open. “What do we do?” He hissed.

            I don’t know. I don’t know. “H- Hide!” I cried, and searched the room rapidly for a spot that was good enough. Where? Where! Under the bed? No. I had too many things down there. The closet!

            My feet automatically took me to the closet and I yanked it open frantically as I heard my dad calling my name another time in the background. Pushing some of the clothes aside and some of the boxes on the floor, I grabbed Marshall and pushed him inside, cramming him in like some ragdoll so that he'd fit inside somehow.

            My dad opened his door and I could hear his footsteps making its way down the hallway. “Mila? You home?” My heart thundered inside my chest, threatening to explode with images of what my dad would do if he found out I had brought Marshall home and I quickly jumped into the closet before closing the door stealthily behind me. I had a lot of lenience on what I could do, but I knew my dad well enough to know letting a boy stay the night was completely out of the question.

            As soon as I entered the closet, I knocked a bunch of clothes off the rack and a few hangers fell on top of me as I found my way inside. The sudden collapse of material pushed me down on Marshall and I became a turtle, lying on top of him as he lay beneath me in a weird checkmark sort of shape, his legs up against one side of the wall, his head resting against the opposite. I would have pushed myself up and shoved the stuff that had fallen on top of me off, but I was worried it would make a ruckus so I remained still no matter how uncomfortable it was.

            Everything inside the closet was shrouded with a veil of black, and we were jammed so tightly inside that our bodies were pressed up firmly against each other’s. I could feel Marshall’s heart beating rampantly against my own, and his breath, which was thick and heavy, warming up all the spots on my neck that it touched. “Ca- Camila?” He whispered.

            “Shh…” I hissed, swearing that my dad had stopped in front of my room. “What?”

            “Why… Why are you in here too?”

            “I…”

            Oh. Well, crap. That was a good question.

            “I… I panicked,” I said.

            “Oh,” he chuckled. “That’s cool.”

            I quickly covered his mouth with my hand when I heard my dad knocking on my door. “Camila, baby girl? You in there? Can I come in?” My dad only waited a few seconds, and after getting no response, I heard the door open and his footsteps becoming even louder as it neared us.

            Marshall and I stayed as quiet as possible while my dad made a small round around my room. I have no idea what he was doing outside since one quick survey would have been enough to recognize my absence, but I wasn’t really in the position to interfere. Eventually I heard him sigh. “Hmm… I could have swore I heard voices,” he mumbled to himself. “Maybe she went downstairs?”

            I didn’t hear the sound of the door closing, but when the footsteps became distant enough, Marshall and I both released a long sigh of relief. “Finally he’s gone,” I mumbled. I uncovered Marshall’s mouth and tried to sit up, but to my surprise, Marshall instantly seized my arm and pulled me back into him. “What?!” I hissed.

            “I don’t know,” he mumbled. 

            “We need to get out.”

            “Just stay here a little bit longer,” he whispered. “What if he comes back and sees you crawling out of the closet? Just stay until you’re positive he’s totally gone.”

            I frowned at the black blurb I assumed was Marshall’s face, but decided a moment longer couldn’t possibly kill me and resigned to his opinion. We both shuffled around quietly, and though it was still cramped inside, it was better than before and I could rest my head on his shoulder rather comfortably.

            Soon after I closed my eyes; I was totally exhausted. Everyday I woke up around six in the morning, and guessing that the time was probably relatively close to 2am, I was way beyond my normal schedule. Marshall was probably equally as worn out, but likely due to completely different reasons. So really, I could see why it happened. It’s just how that I failed to comprehend. Either way, we fell asleep in the closet together that night.