17: Loves Me Or Loves Me Not

Chapter 17: Loves Me Or Loves Me Not?

            Quarter to five that day, Tyler parked his car across the street from my house before texting me to come down. I hadn’t expected him to show up to our prearranged double date with Marriah and Austin after I threw a crushed cookie in his face, but Tyler didn’t understand the word shame when he was around me. Everyone else at school knew him as cool and silent, and he did what he needed in order to keep that image, but around me, he allowed himself to do the oddest things.

            Today he decided to dress up for our date – however unnecessary I thought it was. I could see him from my bedroom window, but it was rather obvious that he couldn’t see me. It was still early out and the heat left from the afternoon sun hadn’t quite lifted from the atmosphere. Nonetheless, Tyler still wore an oversized leather jacket, trying out a variety of poses as he waited for me to come out: him leaning against his car, him leaning against his car version two, him leaning against his car version three, him leaning against his car with one hand in his pocket and his sunglasses on. I stopped watching at that point.

            Grabbing my phone, I pulled up his last text before pressing “reply.”

            Camila: Can you wait another 15/20 mins?

            Camila: I’m not ready yet.

            He texted me back almost instantly.

            Tyler: Yeah. I’ll wait. : )

            Tyler: You’re a girl so I get it.

            I narrowed my eyes at the last part. I had no idea what anything had to do with me being a girl, but I wasn’t exactly interested enough to ponder over it either. Sitting back down in front of my desk, I continued doing my math homework until I finished the last question and checked all my answers at the back just to make sure they were correct. They were correct. Rarely were they not, but I liked to be thorough and it gave me such a fulfilment to know that I was right.  

            When I was done, it took me two more minutes to grab a bag, walk downstairs, kick off my slippers, and lace up my shoes. I wasn’t excited to see Tyler, but I didn’t mind meeting Austin. Even if it didn’t work out, the worst thing it’d cost me would be an evening of practice, and that was something I was willing to give up.

            Tyler was surprised to see me when I walked out. During the time I’d been doing my homework, he’d climb back inside his red 1998 Camaro SS, something his older brother obviously left for him, and was flipping through his CD’s in boredom. I let myself inside the car before he had a chance to get out – which he looked like he was about to; my wildest guess being that he wanted to perform that pose he’d worked so hard on.

            If I had thought things were going to be awkward because we already fought once today, I was wrong. Things were awkward, but only because after buckling myself in, Tyler just sat there and refused to drive. He stared mindlessly at the road ahead, one hand on the shifter and one hand on the wheel. I had no idea what in the world had him thinking so hard, but with every passing second, his face seemed to get redder… and redder… and redder. Occasionally he’d open his mouth, turn to stare at me with this bewildered look on his face like he really needed to say something, but then he’d sigh, close his mouth and look away.

            After what felt like forever, he finally had the guts to speak. “I…”

            “Just drive.”

            “Okay.”

            That was supposed to have been the end of it, but apparently, whatever was bugging Tyler so badly hadn’t left his mind and refused to. It sat in his head consuming all his thoughts until halfway to Marriah’s house, he pulled over on the side of road because he was just that close to exploding.

            “Look,” he said, turning to me with yet another bewildered expression, but this time his eyes filled with resolution. “I know I said Austin was a nice guy…”

            “And what?” I said. “He isn’t?”

            “What? No… No.” He shook his head quickly. “He’s definitely a nice guy!”

            “So then what?”

            “Well that’s the thing. He might be a nice guy, but you know… he’s still a guy… and guys… well… they’re all animals.”  

            “You’re starting to sound like my dad,” I said, adding an eye roll just to show him how pleased I was.

            “Just listen to me,” he shouted. “I know this sounds utterly ridiculous to you, but just listen anyways! Guys… they’re not what you think they are. They’re wolves! In a pack of their own, they look kind and friendly, but as soon as they see someone like you, this… this cute little bunny rabbit, they’ll want to eat you up!”

            “Why?” I laughed, raising an eyebrow at him. “Do you feel that way?”

            Tyler quickly bit his lips and turned away so that the only thing I could see was how red his ears were getting. “Just drive Tyler,” I groaned, “and this time, don’t stop.”

            In the end, it seemed like I had nothing to worry about. If anything, Austin turned out to be the bunny rabbit. Half a head shorter than Tyler, Austin was as skinny as they came, with such pale blonde hair that his eyebrows almost seemed nonexistent. He was good-looking, with strong shoulders despite his physique and a kind smile to suit, but he had such an ordinary aspect to him that he’d be impossible not to lose in a crowd even if he was standing right beside you.

            He’d already been waiting by the time we showed up in front of the Starbucks at the strip mall, and was thoroughly excited to meet me, but even more overjoyed that Marriah, who was wearing a full-length, Victorian-style, gothic gown, was not his date. He was fascinated by her nonetheless and couldn’t stop staring at her black, lace parasol.

            “I wanted to dress up for my first date,” she said.

            “Wow,” he said, flipping his side bangs. “We’re going bowling.”

            And bowling we went – like nothing I had ever seen. The whole bowling alley was pitched black minus the flashing lights that shot rays of rainbow at the floor in unsystematic directions. Fog machines hid some where inside the building, creating white smog that circled around my feet as loud music pumped in the background.

            “I know it was selfish of me,” Austin mumbled when we entered. “But Tyler and I were thinking of what we should do during our date, and all of a sudden, I thought of bowling and really wanted to go! I mean, when was the last time I went bowling? Like seventh grade?” He smiled at me apologetically before flipping his hair. “I hope you don’t mind Camila.”

            I quickly shook my head. I couldn’t even remember the last time I went bowling, and after a moment of thought, remembered that I had never gone. It was a highly favoured field trip idea back when I was still in sixth grade, and I remembered there were many opportunities where I could have gone, but not once did I went. 

            Fields trips were such bothersome things for me even back then. We were always forced to pick out partners and groups, and I was always placed in a group that didn’t want me after – not that any group would have wanted me.

            I almost half regretted not going all those times during that point. It was an interesting setting and I liked how it made my bra glow through my shirt – a fact that Austin hadn’t bothered to mention to me, and a fact that made Tyler flip out when he saw. He almost charged at me full speed when he caught sight of it, angry that I had decided to wear a white bra underneath a gray T-shirt that day. “What were you thinking?” He cried.

            “How would I know there would be black light?” I shouted back at him. “And so what if it shows? I don’t care!”

            Tyler threw me a dark glare and then took off his jacket and pushed it into my hands. “Wear it,” he said.

            “No,” I said.

            “Wear it!” He growled.

            “Fine!” I swiped the jacket out of his hands and then quickly slipped into it as Marriah gave me a weird smile from behind. “You look like you’re enjoying yourself,” I said to her when the guys had gone to grab us some shoes and it was just the two of us.

            “Oh I am,” she groaned, sounding only half alive with only a speck of excitement in her voice. “Every girl in school wants to go on a date with Tyler Lavenchy, but they can’t, and here I am. I’m going to take a picture after and post it on my blog.”

            “Do people even read it?” I had to ask.

            “No,” she said.

            After getting our bowling shoes on and a bunch of snacks for Marriah upon her request, we started a game of two on two: Marriah and Tyler on one team, and Austin and I on the other. Having never bowled before, I couldn’t seem to hit more than three pins down, but Marriah was well on her way to a perfect game.

            “I don’t believe this,” Austin muttered. “I can hardly believe she’s able to walk in that dress, but she’s beating the crap out of us!” He laughed and flipped his hair before turning to me, his brown eyes filled with interest. “So Camila, tell me more about yourself. You must have, like, a bazillion ex-boyfriends.”

            I narrowed my eyes at the contradiction in his sentence, but didn’t say anything. “No,” I said. “This is actually my first official date.”

            “Seriously?”

            I nodded.

            He flipped his hair. “But you’re, like, soooo pretty,” he said.

            “I have a personality defect,” I told him.

            “Wow…” He said, giving me an unsure smile. “At least you’re honest.”

            Marriah sat back down on the bench beside me once her turn was over and Tyler went up to grab a bowling ball.

            “How about you?” I asked.

            Austin smiled sweetly, enjoying the fact that I was interested in him. “What about me? Ask anything you want.”

            “Okay,” I said. “Why do you keep flipping your hair?”

            My question got a good chuckle out of him. “Because it gets in my eyes silly.”

            “Why don’t you just cut it then?”

            “Because it looks cool,” he said.

            “It doesn’t,” I told him.

            Austin just stared at me after, alarm all over his face, his jaw hanging. I shrugged. “At least I’m honest,” I said.  

            He blinked, somewhat unresponsive, but as soon as Tyler came back, grabbed him by the sleeve of his shirt. “T– Tyler,” he hissed. “Come over here. We need to talk.” Then to us, his voice louder, “sorry girls. We just uh… we need to go to the washroom.”

            “Together?” Marriah asked.

            Austin smiled sweetly at her, and then without another word, dragged Tyler away. I didn’t pay much attention to either of them and instead, asked Marriah why she was so good at bowling. At first, she brushed me off saying it was no big deal, but then got extremely out of character, telling me with eager excitement that there was a certain technique to it. She stood up, desperate to demonstrate, and in the process knocked over her pop causing the liquid to splash onto the end of my jeans.

            It wasn’t that bad of an accident, but while Marriah went off to find someone to clean up the spill, I excused myself to go dry my pants in the washroom. It was there of course, after I walked down the hallway and turned the corner, that I found Austin and Tyler fighting in front of the washrooms.

            “…she’s a freak Tyler! Just look at that dress she’s wearing! And they’re friends?” Austin sighed and rubbed his temples as I took a couple steps back, hiding myself in the shadows. “Look, I think she’s really pretty and I really appreciate you trying to set us up, but she’s nuts! If she’s this pretty and she still hasn’t had a single boyfriend once then there’s obviously something wrong with her.”

            “That’s not true,” Tyler mumbled, but the strength of his voice fell short compared to Austin’s. “Camila’s just… a bit rough on the outside. She’s not a bad person though. She’s really hardworking and she always sticks up for her friends– ”

            “I don’t care about that. I mean… look. I’m just saying, alright? I’ll still stay until the end of the date and be nice to the both of them, but I’m just letting you know beforehand that this is how I feel about her.”

            “What if she likes you?” Tyler asked. “You can’t just reject her.”

            “Yeah I can. I’ll just be sweet about it. I’ll tell her it’s not her, that it’s me. I’m just not ready to get back into another relationship. That’s what I’ll say.”

            “Austin, I’m not going to let you hurt her.”

            He laughed, a snicker that was filled with disbelief and anger. “You know what I don’t get Tyler?” He shouted. “It’s that this whole time, you’re the one that likes her! Yeah! That’s right. You don’t need to look at me like that. I can see it in your eyes when you look at her! That’s why I don’t understand why you’re trying to force her on me! If you wanted me to be your wingman instead and take the freaky chick, I would have done that for you if you’d just ask! I have no idea what you’re trying to do!”

            “I don’t like her,” he answered, and I was sure the quickness in his reply took Austin by surprise. “The first time I met Camila was when my mom was going through this feminist phrase and sent me to learn ballet when I was five. Ever since then, and even till right now, I’ve never liked her.”

            “Oh,” Austin mumbled.

            And really, Tyler should have just stopped there. He should have just stopped there, but he didn’t. He continued. “My feelings for Camila,” he said, “it’s always been more than that.”

            I frowned. Austin flipped his hair. “Wow,” he said, and then sucked in a breath of shock. “You… You love her.” He paused, stared Tyler in the eyes. “You love her, don’t you?”

            Tyler met Austin’s gaze with equal gravity, his eyes answering everything that needed to be answered before he lowered them and looked away. “Yeah,” he said. "I do."

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