Chapter 29

"Are you alright?" Lady Heather asked while placing her hand on top of Mala's after they had left the Queen Dowager's palace. "You seemed a bit... out of sorts."

"I just.... Do you think any less of me now that you know?" Mala asked while keeping her head down which was unusual for the woman. All she could think about was the conversation that happened a few hours ago.

"What can I say your Highness," Mala noticed Heather smirking. "My brother is head over heels for Lady Mala and I do believe she likes him quite a bit too. Everyone on the estate can already guess what the outcome of their relationship will be. The only backlash we are getting is from the outside. You sponsoring her can resolve that quite quickly. Would anyone go against a person that has the backing of Royalty?" She had to watch Lady Heather utter that to the Queen Dowager and was shocked no heads were sent flying for it was quite rude to demand sponsorship from another Noble let alone Royalty. Sponsorship had to be offered by the other party on their own accord.

"If I were to agree to this request....." Theodora stated as she mused for a second. "Then I will need to know your story Lady Mala," The Queen Dowager directed her gaze towards Mala and the nerves increased tenfold at that point. "Lady Heather may speak for the best interest of her family in general but I would like your input in this as well. Do you love Earl Deranged? What is your story? Do you even agree with Lady Heather's assumption that I should be your pillar of support in society?"

Mentally Mala was cursing up a storm that would put a sailor to shame. Her shocked expression at the sudden questions must have been visible on her face because Lady Theodora backed off slightly to sip her tea.

"I don't love Earl Deranged," Lady Mala uttered after she composed herself. She noted the surprise on Lady Heather's face. "I do like him though. He's weird and I am very fond of him," She stated. She liked weird. "Frankly.... I don't know if I can love." Mala then admitted. Her hands were shaking and she quickly grasped them together. "I've... seen things. Ugly things that were the result of love. It's a long and complicated story, to be honest,"

"Well... we have time," Theodora stated as one of the ladies-in-waiting arrived with a tray of tea and scrumptious-looking desserts.

Mala nodded... "This story begins long before I was born. It's not a pleasant tale yet not one that is unusual either,"

"My mother was the second daughter of a country Noble. She was the youngest of three. As was expected, her older brother would inherit the family title while she and her sister were to be married off to more influential men." Mala uttered this with such spite that everyone could feel the venom dripping from her words. "I wouldn't say my grandfather was a bad man but he was set in his ways. Traditional to the core. My mother and my aunt were only allowed to be educated in 'womanly duties' as to prepare them to be good wives. "Etiquette, sewing, poetry, music. They were given the best tutors."

"When my mother turned 17 she was engaged to the second son of the De Lacour house. They were a Barony that resided in the capital while their fief was situated in the southern regions."

"I remember the De Lacour case," Theodora uttered with a frown. "Nasty business that. The first son died of poison on his honeymoon. His newlywed wife left a widow after but a few days."

"I have only heard of it in passing. It was quite a few years before my time." Lady Heather muttered with a frown. "Didn't the widow try to commit suicide?"

"Those were just rumors. Nothing was ever proven. In the end her family sent her to a convent," The Queen Dowager stated.

"Yes, there were quite a lot of rumors," Mala nodded. "One of the most prominent ones was that the second son, now the heir to the De Lacour fortune, had wanted her as his own wife and thus decided to poison his brother."

"My mother was rightly appalled by such rumors," Mala continued. "From what I know she, from that point on, venomously objected to the marriage but grandfather was steadfast in his decision. Mainly because now her fiance was the heir to the De Lacour title and fortune. His standing in society increased. "They were wed one week after her 18th birthday."

"My mother's marriage was not a happy one. Hadrian De Lacour was a pig and I loath to call him father," She announced with pursed lips. At that point Lady Theodora offered both her guests three fingers of whiskey.

"Like any head of the family he demanded my mother produce him an heir. A male heir. When I was born he distanced himself from us and would often berate my mother for being useless. I don't remember much about that time, just that she would send me out of the room whenever he visited her quarters." Mala uttered with sadness lacing her voice. "He visited less and less when it became apparent that mother wasn't getting pregnant again."

"I later learned that my mother was using Bishop's lace as a contraceptive. She was adamant that she would not want to get pregnant again by this man. Hadrian found out about this and beat her within an inch of her life before throwing us out on the street and disowning us." Mala explained. "I remember her bleeding... she was holding my hand as she limped through the marketplace looking for a doctor. I remember her selling the doctor her jewelry to get treatment." Mala had to pause at this point as she was getting somewhat emotional.

"I shouldn't have ask-" The Queen Dowager seemed to feel guilty about asking about this Lady's past but Mala shook her head. She would continue with this tale.

"When we finally made it back to mother's family home the welcome was... frosty to say the least. It seems that when mother was recovering Hadrian had sent a letter to grandfather that he was divorcing my mother and disowning me. Me for being a girl and unfit to be his heir and mother for refusing to fulfill her wifely duties and bear him a son. Once a woman is married they take on their husband's name. If they are divorced or disowned they have no last name to go by. This is considered a great shame to many Nobles." Mala had to pause at this point. She quickly downed the tumbler of whiskey that had been offered to her and continued on.

"Grandfather refused to allow mother and myself to adopt her maiden name and stuck us in the manor's annex. At that point we were basically the black sheep of the family." Here Mala glared at her clutched hands for a moment to compose herself. "Often we would take our meals in the annex itself but once a month mother and I were ordered to attend family dinner. It was the only time we were allowed into the main house. But it was not a happy time. Dinner mostly consisted of grandfather, grandmother, and my uncle berating us for being useless and a waste of space. My aunts, mother's older sister and uncle's wife, kept their mouths shut. My cousins descended from my uncle, however, were quite vocal for their dislike of me. I don't really blame them though. They copied their father and at that age none of us knew better."

Mala noted Lady Heather gripping her teacup. Any harder and it might shatter. She pondered if she should stop but for once she felt empowered to tell her story. So she continued.

"I grew up with mother in the annex and saw her turn to opium out of depression. Before my eyes her sanity started to wither away. She turned to opium mostly around the time that she found out that her husband had fathered a child before they had gotten married. When Hadrian's brother had still been alive he had had relations with a barmaid in their fiefdom. The result was a bastard son born to a commoner. It would make sense to Mala, then much more mature in her ways to grasp the intricacies of Noble society, why Hadrian wanted her mother to bear him a son so badly. A son born from a Noble, even though much younger than the illegitimate son, had a far stronger claim as heir. But her mother had been headstrong and steadfast that Mala would be her only child.

"After that revelation things got worse," Mala admitted. "Hadrian had turned to alcohol after he had thrown us out. Rumors of him in bar brawls surfaced more frequently. He ended up killing two men in a brawl one time and became a wanted man. The Knights that investigated also uncovered serious cases of bribery and embezzlement. He became a disgraced Noble overnight as all his illicit acts became known. And as mother and I hadn't been allowed to adopt her maiden name we were still loosely associated with Hadrian De Lacour. Of course we became even more of pariahs than we already were. Grandfather found out about mother's substance abuse and kicked her out. After that I don't know what her fate was."

"I was put under strict tutelage to learn the ways of a Lady. My cousins treated me like crap and once I beat them up with a wooden sword I learned that I had a passion for weapons and combat. Of course grandfather was less than enthused about this. He confined me to the annex and I was not allowed out for months. One day I found, in my infinite boredom, my mother's pouch under the floorboards under her bed. It was filled with silver coins and a worn letter. The letter basically explained how she saved part of the meager allowance grandfather had allocated to us for me so that I could have a better life later. I cried. I honest to goodness cried," Mala confessed. "All those years, my mother was saving up what she could. A silver coin, a family of three could eat for a day off of that and here I had a pouch full." She took a deep breath then before the next part. "I made up my mind a few days later. I packed up what clothing I had, took the pouch and escaped from my grandfather's estate. Mother might have called it home at one point but to me it was hell. Not long after I tried applying to the knight academy while working as an assistant to a sweet seamstress that leant me room and board."

"Mala," Heather said softly, pushing the other out of her reminicense. "I would never think any less of you and neither would my brother,"

"I haven't even told him my full past yet so how would you know?!" Mala uttered. "He might like me now but..."

"No buts. My brother is as stubborn as a yak. He'll stand by you no matter what. I should know." Heather uttered. "I don't know if you know but Dagur and I are only half siblings." This caused Mala to look up in shock. While Lady Heather and Sir Dagur didn't look much alike they did share a sibling bond that everyone noticed. For Lady Heather to confess that they did not have the same parents was shocking.

"Dagur's mother could not have any children anymore after she gave birth to him." Heather confessed. "But she desperately wanted another child. She loved children but her health was at stake. The doctors told her she could bleed out the next time she gave birth or worse have a stillborn."

"This of course devastated her as she and her husband had always planned on having two children," Heather explained. "Then they came up with a crazy idea. They would pay a trusted servant to get pregnant and then Dagur's mother would adopt the baby once born. They chose one of the maids that served her exclusively and knew how to keep her mouth shut. Once I was born the maid in question departed the estate with glowing references to work for any other noble household. I was raised no different. For years I thought that Dagur's mother was mine as well. Then one day the ugly truth came out. Of course I was devastated but in the end my brother was still my brother and he didn't care that I had a different mother."

"My point is, my brother will definitely love you unconditionally, so all I ask is that you give him a chance," Heather stated with great conviction.