By: beautifulinblu

Package: Thistle

Summary

Well, since this is a collection of short stories, I'm guessing there's not enough space to write blurbs for each one -- plus that'd look cluttered, so short and snappy works... However, I have absolutely no idea what the stories will be about -- sure I can get some idea from the tags, but not everybody reads them.

I'd probably mention the blurb, or teaser, whatever you want to call it at the beginning of each story -- so we have some idea about the story we're about to read, or perhaps give an idea of the theme.

Chapter One

From what I can see there's no major errors grammarwise or punctuation-wise (aside from a capitalised 'she' in 'She stuttered'), so I'll get straight on in to the content. For a short story it's very well written, and I get the sense of Nova's character as well as her father's -- and I like them, which is a big bonus. You started with a line which pulled my attention in, and you've left us on a note which has me wanting to read more about her and exactly who sent her those flowers. It seems to be a romantic gesture of sorts.

To be honest, the only thing I could suggest doing would be to proofread for those little errors which might not get picked up the first time around.

Chapter Two

I'm really liking all your ideas for these short stories so far, they're cute, but they both seem to have a realistic feel to them. Though in this one, you seem to have changed the formatting of the punctuation to:

"Speech." He said.

When I've learnt it's supposed to be:

"Speech," he said.

That issue aside, this was a fantastic read, and despite the fact it wasn't that long the romance/feelings between them seemed natural and again, I'd like to read more about these two. The panda idea was just cute, and ridiculously relevant.

Maybe develop these ideas into longer stories?

Chapter Three

This one had a more serious and sad feel to it in contrast to the last two stories, and conveyed a lot despite not having any text -- and I find that an art in itself, so great job there. Again, I could spot a few minor grammatical errors which slipped through -- (its and it's -- the first word I believe is supposed to be it's rather than its, since you're saying it is seven o'clock in the morning). All you need to do is proofread and you should catch these things.

I can't really think of anything else to say in regards to your work here, and I think it's high time I posted your review up.

I won't sum everything up like I've done previously since these are different short stories so I don't know whether that'd work.

Thanks for requesting a review from me.